If I am around people for too long, especially larger groups of people, my mind gets overstimulated and socializing becomes very difficult for me. It drains all my energy, making me retreat into my shell and obstructing conversation from flowing naturally. I'll remain quiet and cut off from the social group, my reserves taxed, while other people are making banter and cracking jokes. This makes "fitting in" and exuding a comfortable vibe very difficult.
I know the automatic response would be to say I'm introverted and, yes, this may describe me a bit, but I am beginning to question this notion. As I am aware, an introvert by definition is someone who ENJOYS spending time alone and is preoccupied primarily with their own thoughts and inner world. An extrovert would rather spend time with people and would rather focus on the other world. I feel like I fall in the latter category.
If I am by myself for too long, I start to go crazy and get "stuck" with my thoughts, I get anxious and start ruminating about the past to the point where I begin processing the world wrong. For the longest time, I believed I was just introverted instead of shy... My dad is a very introverted guy, so for years I just assumed I inherited this trait from him. He instilled in me the idea that it is normal to spend no time socializing, because I never really saw him do it that much growing up. My mom, on the other hand, was always very extroverted, but I modeled my behaviour more after my dad.
The thing is, I wish I had more friends. I wish I had a richer social network and more active social life. I wish I went to more parties. I would like to spend more time with girls.
Have I been spending too much time alone for the past few years of my life? I feel that maybe social anxiety and social isolation have made me become used to being alone? In that sense, have I become introverted as a defense mechanism of sorts, an adaptation?
I think maybe I have spent too much time as a recluse? For the past year, I spent copious amounts of time smoking weed and though I've quit now, perhaps I am still suffering the effects from it.... I can't help but think my poor social skills have forced me to become introverted? Should I get therapy for poor social skills at this point in my life?
I know the automatic response would be to say I'm introverted and, yes, this may describe me a bit, but I am beginning to question this notion. As I am aware, an introvert by definition is someone who ENJOYS spending time alone and is preoccupied primarily with their own thoughts and inner world. An extrovert would rather spend time with people and would rather focus on the other world. I feel like I fall in the latter category.
If I am by myself for too long, I start to go crazy and get "stuck" with my thoughts, I get anxious and start ruminating about the past to the point where I begin processing the world wrong. For the longest time, I believed I was just introverted instead of shy... My dad is a very introverted guy, so for years I just assumed I inherited this trait from him. He instilled in me the idea that it is normal to spend no time socializing, because I never really saw him do it that much growing up. My mom, on the other hand, was always very extroverted, but I modeled my behaviour more after my dad.
The thing is, I wish I had more friends. I wish I had a richer social network and more active social life. I wish I went to more parties. I would like to spend more time with girls.
Have I been spending too much time alone for the past few years of my life? I feel that maybe social anxiety and social isolation have made me become used to being alone? In that sense, have I become introverted as a defense mechanism of sorts, an adaptation?
I think maybe I have spent too much time as a recluse? For the past year, I spent copious amounts of time smoking weed and though I've quit now, perhaps I am still suffering the effects from it.... I can't help but think my poor social skills have forced me to become introverted? Should I get therapy for poor social skills at this point in my life?
