Am I handling this well?

[Lostsoul85]

I would appreciate some words of wisdom from experienced members here.

I have been on about 6 dates with this 37 year old woman.I am 28.
-she pays for most of the dates and likes too.
-On our last date two weeks ago she started tapping me on the shoulder and arm while talking to me at the bar.Even though this is light kino I haven't seen her do it more than once but I noticed she did it multiple times
-When she greeted me she hugged me a little tighter than usual both before and after the date.I also gave her a little pec on the lips and she didn't turn away.
-She said that her ex cheated on her so that and being an older women that may or may not be the reason she is not aggressive with me.
-She also said that she regretted sleeping with one of her exes on the first date and thinks its better if people get to know each other before dating.


The next day after our date I get this text from her.(She usually doesn't initiate dates)

Her:Hey Mr Mr.i just confirmed the zoo event is 5/8 from 6-9.Let me know if your interested either way I had a nice time last night.

Me:I had a nice time too and yes we are on for the 8th.

Her:cool and thanks!

I don't want to be too needy so I wait 5 days to text her
Me:Hey there! Hope your week is going well
Her:Hey Mr. Mr.My week has been pretty meh.How is your week?
Me:My week ha been busy.Anyways, I just wanted to say hello.Hope you have a wonderful day!
Her:Busy is always good and thanks.Hope you have a wonderful day too!

I wait another 5 days to confirm the date(this past Monday)
Hey there!how was your weekend.
Her:Hello señor señor happy cinco de mayo.My weekend was pretty meh.Would have been better if the hawks won.How was your weekend?Are you celebrating this holiday?
Me:My weekend was pretty cool.Just layin low.Anyways, I was wondering are you planning to leave work early Thursday.(event is from 6-9) and she usually gets off at 6:45
Her:yeah I figured I leave here at 5:30
Me:Cool! So ill see you there at 6.
Herkay

She texts me a day before the event she invited me to(Wednesday morning)
Her:Hey! I won't be able to make it to the zoo since i have to stay at work late on Thursday but I don't to waste the tickets so if you would like them send me your email and they are yours.Apologies for the cancellation.
Me:No worries I won't need the tickets since you are not gonna be there.We can still hang out this weekend if you would like.
Her:Are you sure? I really wanted to make it but I will more than likely wont be there till past 7 since we are prepping for a real estate close on Friday.I really wanted to go As for this weekend,I will be doing things with my mom(mothers day weekend) but I am free Friday evening so if Friday works for you let me know.
Me:Yes I'm sure.It won't be as fun if you are not there..lol..Not sure about Friday ill let you know when I get to work
Her:Aww that is sweet..and true.Lol!just let me know.
Me:Looks like Friday will work for me
Her:Groovy!do you any ideas?
Me:bar in atlanta
Herk.what time?
Me:8:00 would you like me to come get you.
Her:Thanks for the offer but I will more than likely be coming from work so I can just meet you there.
Me:Cool.If I get there first i will save us a seat and you do the same.Otherwise,I will see you at 8.
Herk sounds good.Have you been there before?
Me:no first time
Her:It's a cool place.Pretty crowded so just be aware that you may have to park on the side streets.
Me:thanks for the heads up

Morning of the date (this past Friday) around 10 am
Her:Hey David I'm not feeling too well so I am going to go home after work and rest up.apologies for the inconvenience raincheck?
Mek well do it some other time
Her:thanks
Me:no worries hope you feel better and let me know when you are free.
Her:It's probably just a cold or nasal allergies but thanks.And will do.

I was a little upset at how this transpired but showing anger only reaks of insecurity.Obviously I won't reach out anymore since I have done my job.But do you guys think I am handling this well?I know that not all women are the same and some you sleep with them before the first 5 dates and others take longer.There is no one size fits all.Anyways, any suggestions are recommended.I do really like this woman so I am willing to be patient.We are also part of the same meetup.com group and we see also each other at the events every so often.

 

[Trump]

A zoo thing with a 37 year old woman? I'd be like "Honey, you don't have time to go to zoo and look at animals. You have to be having sex with me as much as possible before your looks dry up and no one wants you."

But anyway bro, don't think these women actually want to go to the zoo/bar/pub/game with you. They could be testing you to see how available you are, how cool you are, what you like to do, if you float their boat. If you said "Zoo's aren't my thing, how about you come over and I'll make you dinner and we'll watch a movie." might have worked better.

If you really want to do stuff with her, go ahead. But at 37, everything should lead to sex fast. What else are they good for at that age?

 

[thunder_god]

Six dates and you still haven't nailed her? Better do it soon or welcome to the friendzone.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Can't do it yet.Im pretty good at reading body language and the signals are not there yet.We made out heavy at her place a couple months ago and probably moved too fast.Definitely too much space invasion too soon.Some women just aren't ready immediately Although,i can tell she liked it that night she said she needed to drop me off at my car even after I sucked her chest and could tell she liked it.She has even told me she doesn't do one night stands.I mean a woman knows once she gives it up she will lose power.She lives with her 70 year old father and I live with my parents.On the third date and 4th dates she cut this kisses short so I stopped trying makeout with her.Ever since i backed off and gave her her space.It wasn't till our last date where she was a little more touchy,tapping me on the arm and shoulder while talking to me.This is after I backed off,so I know that pushing her will not work.All, I do is hint through my body language that I am open to sex and when she is ready she can come at her own pace.I try to give her space.She is more of an introvert who is less touchy feely so I assume she needs to be more comfortable around me.

 

[MtnMan]

man, I dont' want to sound rude, but it probably will:
After 6 dates you should have had sex by now! If she was into you at all, you should have gone for the kiss on the FIRST date and escalated a step beyond that on every date since.
You might think you can read body language, but if she hasn't given you a chance to bang yet, you are probably already in the friend zone.
You are moving TOO SLOW for the times we live in.

What signs do you expect her to give before you can have sex with her? I would hate to get to the point where the woman has to actually initiate the sex because I was too slow to do it myself. That does not bode well for your manhood.

 

[Lostsoul85]

I understand that traditional dating gurus say you should have sex by the fifth date but too me it kind of assumes a one size fits all mentally whereas not all women are the same.Some will sleep with you within the first few weeks and some will take their time.At least that's what I thought.I was thinking that that she knows I want to **** her so why not give her the space to try and **** me.Basically,my body language communicates that i am definitely open to having sex with you but won't force things.The way I look at her communicates this,it's really not even about the words.Yes it may not happen but I just feel like pushing things and trying to MAKE something happen instead of going with flow is counterproductive.

 

[thunder_god]

Can't do it yet.Im pretty good at reading body language and the signals are not there yet.We made out heavy at her place a couple months ago and probably moved too fast.Definitely too much space invasion too soon.Some women just aren't ready immediately Although,i can tell she liked it that night she said she needed to drop me off at my car even after I sucked her chest and could tell she liked it.She has even told me she doesn't do one night stands.I mean a woman knows once she gives it up she will lose power.She lives with her 70 year old father and I live with my parents.On the third date and 4th dates she cut this kisses short so I stopped trying makeout with her.Ever since i backed off and gave her her space.It wasn't till our last date where she was a little more touchy,tapping me on the arm and shoulder while talking to me.This is after I backed off,so I know that pushing her will not work.All, I do is hint through my body language that I am open to sex and when she is ready she can come at her own pace.I try to give her space.She is more of an introvert who is less touchy feely so I assume she needs to be more comfortable around me.

Dude stop trying to justify and rationalize what she says. Judge a women by her actions not words. You obviously ****ed up somewhere on those dates. If you were doing everything right, you would have already been banging by now. Its better to be overly aggressive then being too passive. You can always apologize afterwards saying you couldn't help it, because she makes it very hard to control yourself around her because she's special or some other Bull****. Also when a women says no, it doesn't necessarily mean no, it just means try harder. You should have backed off for a few minutes when she didn't welcome the kiss, then try again and then escalate. Also whats this **** about her being touchy feely now by the 6th date? She should have already been doing that on the first-second dates, especially after you guys made out. She's not comfortable enough around you, because your game is weak, plain and simple. She doesn't need more time and space.

 

[3agle 3yes]

Is this woman your friend? Because reading the texts it seems like you are.

No sexual innuendo, no flirting...just boring conversations.

Never take "dates", texts or phone calls with her too serious...have some fun.

Has she even been to your place?

...On our last date two weeks ago she started tapping me on the shoulder and arm while talking to me at the bar.Even though this is light kino I haven't seen her do it more than once but I noticed she did it multiple times
-When she greeted me she hugged me a little tighter than usual both before and after the date.I also gave her a little pec on the lips and she didn't turn away...

Over-analysing, this is very feminine behaviour.

Your paying too much attention to what she's doing...which means you're reacting to her when it should be the other way round.

...-She said that her ex cheated on her so that and being an older women that may or may not be the reason she is not aggressive with me.
-She also said that she regretted sleeping with one of her exes on the first date and thinks its better if people get to know each other before dating...

Blah, blah blah...all this is superfluous.

YOU decide when you get to f*ck her...this is the case with ALL women.

Does this women work all week? Next time you want to meet with her go some place you were already going to and ask her to join you (be at the place already).

Scheduling "dates" is boring and predictable...especially many days in advance.

The best way to f*ck a girl during or after "dates" is to mess around during the whole "date", DON'T behave around her as you would if she were a friend...she's almost 10 years older than you? Don't you tease her about that? Get her to come to your place...don't tell her it's for sex, just make an excuse...and escalate from there.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Dude stop trying to justify and rationalize what she says. Judge a women by her actions not words. You obviously ****ed up somewhere on those dates. If you were doing everything right, you would have already been banging by now. Its better to be overly aggressive then being too passive. You can always apologize afterwards saying you couldn't help it, because she makes it very hard to control yourself around her because she's special or some other Bull****. Also when a women says no, it doesn't necessarily mean no, it just means try harder. You should have backed off for a few minutes when she didn't welcome the kiss, then try again and then escalate. Also whats this **** about her being touchy feely now by the 6th date? She should have already been doing that on the first-second dates, especially after you guys made out. She's not comfortable enough around you, because your game is weak, plain and simple. She doesn't need more time and space.

Yup that's what I believed after reading corey Wayne's book.It just turned me into a hungry dog and messed me up.I know what you are talking about.Like he says two steps back one step forward.But guess what it didn't work.All this alpha male bs is really misguided.I even used his line to tell her after our 2nd date at the bowling alley lets go back to my place and make some dinner.It just didn't work.Him saying that you should sleep with a women by the 3rd or 4th date really me in "attachment to outcome mode" and created anxiety.Everything, was about how can I get laid before the fifth date or i am doomed.This put me in a fearful state.

 

[narcissist]

your game is weak, plain and simple.

This

 

[El Payaso]

She was probably interested but you were too friendly.

I'm guessing she's starting to see someone else or looking for someone else now.

 

[thunder_god]

Yup that's what I believed after reading corey Wayne's book.It just turned me into a hungry dog and messed me up.I know what you are talking about.Like he says two steps back one step forward.But guess what it didn't work.All this alpha male bs is really misguided.I even used his line to tell her after our 2nd date at the bowling alley lets go back to my place and make some dinner.It just didn't work.Him saying that you should sleep with a women by the 3rd or 4th date really me in "attachment to outcome mode" and created anxiety.Everything, was about how can I get laid before the fifth date or i am doomed.This put me in a fearful state.

I don't think what he teaches doesn't work, I think you applied it incorrectly. Like how you mentioned she should come over to your place to make some dinner. during the date at the bowling alley. If you were gaming her correctly, she probably would have made up some BS excuse to come to your place afterwards anyways. Also suggesting you do something together for a next date before the date's ended makes you seem needy and clingy, afraid that she won't go out with you again. You should have just laid back and had fun and stop worrying about the outcome. It probably would have made you less tense and ironically helped improve your game with her.

One last thing, there is a limited window of opportunity with women. I learnt that the hard way. You have to strike while the irons hot, and since its been like what 2 months now and you still haven't ****ed her but have been on 6 dates with her, my guess is its probably already closed or nearly conclusion. My suggestion at this point would be to try and get her out on a date again, you probably don't even need to mention that its a date. Just get her out with you alone, have fun, tease, flirt, if you notice she starts being touchy feely, then you start being touchy feely, when she's near you, go in for the kiss, then escalate. Once she's turned on, tell her you have something for her, or you want to show her something at your place. If you manage to not **** this up, then your going to get laid.

 

[pyros]

I think you are wasting your time, really wasting your time.

She's not interested in you sexually, harsh but true. She likes the company, she likes to have a male friend who she eventually kisses, and nothing else.


Move on...

 

[Lostsoul85]

I don't think what he teaches doesn't work, I think you applied it incorrectly. Like how you mentioned she should come over to your place to make some dinner. during the date at the bowling alley. If you were gaming her correctly, she probably would have made up some BS excuse to come to your place afterwards anyways. Also suggesting you do something together for a next date before the date's ended makes you seem needy and clingy, afraid that she won't go out with you again. You should have just laid back and had fun and stop worrying about the outcome. It probably would have made you less tense and ironically helped improve your game with her.

One last thing, there is a limited window of opportunity with women. I learnt that the hard way. You have to strike while the irons hot, and since its been like what 2 months now and you still haven't ****ed her but have been on 6 dates with her, my guess is its probably already closed or nearly conclusion. My suggestion at this point would be to try and get her out on a date again, you probably don't even need to mention that its a date. Just get her out with you alone, have fun, tease, flirt, if you notice she starts being touchy feely, then you start being touchy feely, when she's near you, go in for the kiss, then escalate. Once she's turned on, tell her you have something for her, or you want to show her something at your place. If you manage to not **** this up, then your going to get laid.

My parents were out of town that night and I was having fun at the bowling alley.I was even bowling backwards just for the hell of it.It was after we finished bowling I told her lets go to my place and make dinner.She says no, it's too far(I only live 20 minutes away)Instead we went to her place and we played cards I moved closer and closer until my knees were on the floor.Challenged her to a staring contest and then made out heavy with her.She was turned on and i tried to escalate and sucked her chest,got close to her boobs.It was late and her father was asleep in his room(hes around 70)She said i need to take you back to your car,so she dropped me off at the alley.So I did try to escalate.Anyways this is past.

Mind you she lives with her dad and I stay with my parents where should i make the next date?Hiking trail where they have tents?

About the two month thing she did say in her longest relationship it took her 4 months to sleep with her bf at the time.

 

[El Payaso]

My parents were out of town that night and I was having fun at the bowling alley.I was even bowling backwards just for the hell of it.It was after we finished bowling I told her lets go to my place and make dinner.She says no, it's too far(I only live 20 minutes away)Instead we went to her place and we played cards I moved closer and closer until my knees were on the floor.Challenged her to a staring contest and then made out heavy with her.She was turned on and i tried to escalate and sucked her chest,got close to her boobs.It was late and her father was asleep in his room(hes around 70)She said i need to take you back to your car,so she dropped me off at the alley.So I did try to escalate.Anyways this is past.

Mind you she lives with her dad and I stay with my parents where should i make the next date?Hiking trail where they have tents?

If a woman wants to fvck you, it doesn't matter who is around, SHE WILL DO IT. Trust me, I know. I've done it with a woman when all her siblings and her mom were in the living room next door.

 

[LiveFreeX]

She says no, it's too far(I only live 20 minutes away)Instead we went to her place and we played cards I moved closer and closer until my knees were on the floor.Challenged her to a staring contest and then made out heavy with her.She was turned on and i tried to escalate and sucked her chest,got close to her boobs.It was late and her father was asleep in his room(hes around 70)She said i need to take you back to your car,so she dropped me off at the alley.So I did try to escalate.Anyways this is past.

GAH WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU... this reeks of FAIL. She doesn't like you that much dude or she has major mental damage... find yourself a virgin.. why would you want a woman who has been boned more times than you've jacked off. Anything she says is complete bvllsh1t, she's lying to you about probably everything. She is an old sloppy jallopy, barely making it down the road. Christ my wife is 25 and I'm starting to think she is getting old, your woman? Her boobs are probably scraping the floor when she walks. The only place you should be taking her to is the old folks home down the street. Remind HER OF THIS. She hit the wall 12 YEARS AGO. That p00sy has been steadily drying up and she is wondering just what the hell your major malfunction is to want to get anywhere near that nuclear waste dump.

Go abroad, foreign women are much easier then the crap you have to put up with. You are 28 for godsakes, you should be dating an 18 y/o. My wife is 3 years younger than you.


Just pick her goddamn legs up, tilt her back and take her pants off, its easy as 1,2,3. If she rejects you, its time to GTFO. All this game sh1t is completely un-necessary abroad... man I'm so glad I never went home for a woman. If I wanted sex from any of my gfs, I would just take them back to my house, tilt them back and that was that... my wife... fvk man, I have to push her away... you friggin p00sy beggars will jump through hoops to get at an old used train wreck. If you are even a little bit latin, why don't you go down to Mexico and meet a decent woman?!?!

 

[Lostsoul85]

Thanks for the advice here guys.I guess we just have a difference in philosophy.I don't believe every guy needs to follow an alpha male make a move first mentality since we are all different.Not all men are the same. Alot, of alpha male theory taught by corey wayne or other dating gurus come from deida's way of the superior man philosophy which although it has some good points I think misses the mark you can't make a definition that masculinity is only about purpose and mission in life because that's not true for 100% of men.There are some men like myself or naturally on the sentimental side who enjoy being more present and flowing(deida would call this feminine)and feel that it would be unnecessary to conform to alpha male stereotype.Ive studied pick up for years and it just wasn't for me.I want to be more of an authentic peron.I am a nice guy with a backbone.Not all men want to be leaders,I certainly don't.I neither wish to lead or follow, I am just me.Thanks again guys.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Agree with the poster about flirting.
Your texts were way too formal and businesslike.
You have to plant the seed in every interaction.
Never stop flirting, never be afraid to push the envelope with some smutty remark and delve deep into innuendo.
Get her primal juices flowing with provocative messages that make her mind wander as she imagines fvcking you.
Keeping it safe, as you have done, is why she hasn't fvcked you, why she flaked on you twice and why she's probably entertaining another man.
Steel yourself for the LJBF speech.

 

[Lostsoul85]

You guys are saying that she was lying with her excuses?What if she really was sick?She did offer me a raincheck.I don't get it when i told her we could go out if she was free this weekend she said she had other plans but offered me Friday,and said if you are free friday let me know,isn't that a signing interest.

 

[VladPatton]

Get a little naughty, man, don't be afraid to. Make some sexy jokes, some innuendo, some perverted remarks. Let her know what's on your mind. Have some banter and teasing going on. Think "playground approach". For now, next this one and forget about it.