Am I being overly jealous?

bitteorca

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brief background: been dating this girl for like a month. She says she really likes me, she says she misses me, she says she is excited to see me, etc etc. But not all just words, she acts like she likes me a lot as well. tells me this stuff to my face. I like her too, but want to take things slow, slowish anyway, not snail's pace.

Also, I could most probably be in a relationship with her now, she has hinted at it, even asked me to ask her when she was a bit drunk. and even when sober said she would think it was nice. So pretty sure if I wanted to jump right in I could. I refused though, I want to make sure. Someone on here told me I wasn't a challenge after I got with my ex after 1 month, and I've taken that on board.

Anywayyyy....I'm not sure whether I trust her. She has said that I can and should trust her, and that she wants to prove to me that I can. We're at the stage where we have both said that we wouldn't want to get with other people, and she has said that she likes me a lot and wouldn't want to ruin that.

However, facebook ruining everything again, I notice that a guy who blatantly likes her (she has admitted before that she knows he likes her as well) has said that to her on her wall that he hasn't been inboxed today, and then later I see that he said he's used to her inboxing her. She just said that we'll more than likely catch up soon to him. What am I supposed to think?! I want to trust this girl. But I want to know whether I am just over-reacting or not?! After all, she isn't in a relationship with me. And after all, it could just be nothing.

I mean, I know she isn't meeting up with him or anything like, and at the end of the day, she's coming home and sleeping with me. And I'd tell you if I had a gut feeling she was doing this with others. I mean I can't be 100% she isn't I suppose, but you can't be 100% about anything! I'm just like 99% sure she isn't.

BUT, it does bother me that she would be inboxing guys that she knows like her. Am I being jealous? I think she is a girl who just likes the male attention, maybe a bit of a flirt. This isn't a post about her sleeping with other guys or anything. But I'm not sure I'm comfortable with her even inboxing other guys. But I'm not sure whether I'm just being overly jealous?

Like I said, she's the one going out with me, wanting a relationship with me, sleeping with me, sending me cute messages, etc. And I could be in a relationship with her. Its just hard because I want to trust her for me to consider a relationship with her, but at the same time, she can do what she wants because I'm not in a relationship with her when I probably could be....it's a really difficult situation...It's like I want exclusivity with her, but I'm not willing to commit to her yet...wtf!

I've read posts on here before saying not to show jealousy because its a turn off, which is true. And I haven't shown it...although if I'm feeling it there is obviously a chance that it will shine through at some point...

EDIT: I've just realised, my last post on here was 'how not to get attached and bed a girl' or something like that. Look at me now! fail

help! haha
 

lordtwiggie

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I am no expert here, but I think she enjoys the attention showered by other guys.
Don't get jealous or react to these things, but don't be too attached to her at the same time too.
Just go on as normal, but if you see any signs of crap, be ready to walk away if needed.
If all else is normal then just be normal....showing your jealousy will show yo u are insecure.
 

bitteorca

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Yeah this is what I think. I think she likes the male attention. I honestly don't think she is actually involved with anyone else or anything like that.

I'll just be normal then and not bring it up. I think my success so far has been to not give a damn about certain things (because I don't!), but it just seems like some little things like this can flair up within me sometimes and get blown out of proportion.

She has even said to me that she thinks I'm above her league! I suppose I need to keep in mind that there are plenty more out there if this one doesn't succeed, and if this one does, then so be it...

It's just a catch-22 situation at the moment with this one on how she should act...But I'll just continue and ignore **** like this, because at the end of the day, like I have previously said, she is obviously really in to me, and I don't think she'd actually do anything to harm a possible future with me...so yeah

Thanks for your advice lordtwiggie! Sometimes I just need an external opinion to level my head!
 

lordtwiggie

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Yeah just don't bother about it and one more thing :


bitteorca said:
She has even said to me that she thinks I'm above her league!
I don't know about her but usually when I see women saying this, I do not take it as a compliment. They usually do it until they feel you are wrapped around their fingers then kaboom! you are their *****!
It's ok though, keep control of yourself and be normal as you mentioned :)
While you can let that statement to stroke your ego well, just don't show it to her.
 

bitteorca

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lordtwiggie said:
Yeah just don't bother about it and one more thing :




I don't know about her but usually when I see women saying this, I do not take it as a compliment. They usually do it until they feel you are wrapped around their fingers then kaboom! you are their *****!
It's ok though, keep control of yourself and be normal as you mentioned :)
While you can let that statement to stroke your ego well, just don't show it to her.
haha thanks bro, but I don't see how a girl saying that would equate to being wrapped around the finger?! I don't see the logic....

I think she was talking about looks actually, if that makes it any clearer...I tend to think its about everything else as well though hahah
 

lordtwiggie

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well I can't explain it but usually I noticed women who say that have other motives, it usually serves as a great reason when they feel they want to throw you off.... but again, I m not sure about your girl to judge her that way, just speaking out of experience :)
 

bitteorca

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lordtwiggie said:
well I can't explain it but usually I noticed women who say that have other motives, it usually serves as a great reason when they feel they want to throw you off.... but again, I m not sure about your girl to judge her that way, just speaking out of experience :)
Oh I get what you mean now! the whole 'you deserve better' cr*p!

Nah it wasn't like that at all. She was just talking about looks. She wasn't saying it in a sense that I could do a lot better in general or anything like that.

I've had the 'you deserve better' line at break up before. She never said that I was too good for her whilst in the relationship!
 
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