Almost all relationships that are ended by women are already trash before

Baibars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
537
Reaction score
566
Age
30
Location
Germany
My observation is that almost all relationships ended by women no matter how she ended it, where already trash for a long time.
Most times she didn’t even have genuine crazy high desire for you to begin with or she lost it. We as stupid and blind we are, just act as if that’s not already a reason to leave that relationship. Maybe we where the ones treating her bad because we didn’t have that desire for a long time but we kept living that way until she pulled the trigger.
When she pulls that trigger no matter what she does even if it’s cheating, it usually doesn’t happen while you where banging her like you used to or she loved you like she used to (if she ever did that).

then someone (like me) comes here asks for help even though all the signs where there. She didn’t end it or cheat out of the blue. Yes, cheating is immoral but it’s not like you two where crazy in love.
 

sevbucmash

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
179
Reaction score
67
Age
40
You know who has it good? People who met in highschool and got married and stayed together. They now have children and they don't need anything else.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,209
Reaction score
11,205
My observation is that almost all relationships ended by women no matter how she ended it, where already trash for a long time.
Women end the majority of relationships. There are many well known stats that women are the ones who file for divorce to end marriages.

In non-marital relationships, women end those more often than men end those. The gap isn't as large as women ending marriages though.

Women are also usually the ones ending interactions after 1-2 dates. The "1-2 date, no sex, no extended relationship" interaction is usually ended by a woman, either by ghosting/flaking or a "I had a good time on our date(s), but do not see this going anywhere" text message.

With extended relationships, they often tend to fall apart more slowly than most outside observers would think that they would. The process of de-coupling takes longer than it probably should. This is more true in marriages (especially marriages with children) than non-marital relationships. However, non-marital relationships do often last longer than they should.

In marriages, the "trash phase" lasts longer than it should because people feel obligated to keep it going for a variety of reasons. Some people keep it going longer for the sake of the children (but will usually divorce before the children turn 18), some people will engage in marriage counseling for something like 6-12 months to try to save it. Marriage counseling usually doesn't fix a marriage and just postpones the inevitable divorce. I also think that people often hesitate to start a divorce process because it's a pain to deal with the logistics of it. There are a variety of legal implications and then practical implications like finding a new place to live (for at least one person), finding a new sexual partner (for both), etc.

Non-marital relationships without children are easier to end. The "trash phase" doesn't tend to last as long as a result. Non-marital relationships often have a "trash phase" but the practicalities of de-coupling are often easier. If the two people aren't living together, no one has to find a new place to live. If the coupling is living together, at least one person will need to find a new place to live. There can be complexities with owned real estate and even rented real estate. With renters, a non-marital couple might decide the end the romantic relationship at the end of the lease.

I can't cover every situation in this post but I think this is a good start on commentary.

You know who has it good? People who met in highschool and got married and stayed together. They now have children and they don't need anything else.
There's something to be said for people who meet in high school and college (before ages 22-23 -- typical college graduation ages). They get together young and have the potential to grow well together. It can be a near ideal situation to meet someone in high school or college and have a decades long relationships.

There are also couples who form in high school/college, get married, have children and eventually divorce in their 30s/40s too.

It is interesting to compare couples who form in high school/college to couples who form at age 30 and beyond. When longer term committed couples form at age 30+, they tend to bring more baggage into a relationship. Even in situations when 2 childless 30/40 somethings get together, it does often resemble an awkward corporate merger. The two people had long lives independent of each other. They didn't really grow together like the high school/college formed couple. The same magic isn't there.

There are often couples forming at age 30+ starting new committed relationships with past failed marriages and children from past failed marriages / past failed relationships. Merging households and merging children under 18 together is messy.

Another unpleasant situation occurs when two people 50+ with adult children form a new relationship. Although that's less messy than getting together in one's 30s-40s typically with younger children, coupling up as older adults with young adult children causes friction. The adult children typically aren't enthusiastic about their parent's new partner, even if they are cordial to them. The two sets of adult children usually don't enjoy spending holidays with each other either. Another thing that might happen is that one partner's adult child has employment/financial issues and might need to move in with a parent in their 20s-early 30s. That can cause issues as well for the 50+ couple that lived almost all their lives apart from each other.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,209
Reaction score
11,205
Relationships are impermanent, just like everything else. When you're aware of that, you can direct your energies towards enjoying everything for however long it lasts
That's a very healthy viewpoint on relationships.

If that is your viewpoint, then there are a few different ways to pursue women and relationships.

The most common paths would be short term interactions (being a player) and non-marital serial monogamy.
 

Fortune_favors_the_bold

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2022
Messages
703
Reaction score
906
Location
EU
My observation is that almost all relationships ended by women no matter how she ended it, where already trash for a long time.
Most times she didn’t even have genuine crazy high desire for you to begin with or she lost it. We as stupid and blind we are, just act as if that’s not already a reason to leave that relationship. Maybe we where the ones treating her bad because we didn’t have that desire for a long time but we kept living that way until she pulled the trigger.
When she pulls that trigger no matter what she does even if it’s cheating, it usually doesn’t happen while you where banging her like you used to or she loved you like she used to (if she ever did that).

then someone (like me) comes here asks for help even though all the signs where there. She didn’t end it or cheat out of the blue. Yes, cheating is immoral but it’s not like you two where crazy in love.
They try to punch above their league and while they can get sex, they cant get commitment from those men despite in their mind the sex happening seals the deal (they simply dont get that men are much more generous when it comes of requirements for sex).

At some point they still want the happy settled life and have to get it from the men willing to (those from their own league) yet they are dissatisfied, they got used to upper dogs and think they deserve one.
In the long run the poor guy basically pays with his money and mental health for their dissatisfaction.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,495
Reaction score
1,043
Age
35
The most common paths would be short term interactions (being a player) and non-marital serial monogamy.
Kids being in the picture is, and always has been, the only compelling motive to marry. Even marriages don't last forever though...

One spouse dies by suicide, both die after being attacked by four masked assailants while visiting their cabin in the rural Carolinas, they divorce after the union runs it's course, or one spouse decides they've been gay the whole time, then run off to San Francisco
 

Doctor Doom

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2024
Messages
28
Reaction score
45
Location
Latveria
Exactly why I will never enter that world (relationship) again. The man loses all power.

Only deal with good-looking chicks who bring along more good-looking chicks.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,077
Reaction score
4,926
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
Many of these issues could be prevented or at least be spotted a lot earlier if men were as in touch with their emotions as women, generally speaking.

Hate to say it, but the average woman is a step above the average man in that regard.

I'm tempted to say it's not fvcking hard, but then I remind myself that many men don't have the slightest clue about how this works. It's sad.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,495
Reaction score
1,043
Age
35
I'm tempted to say it's not fvcking hard, but then I remind myself that many men don't have the slightest clue about how this works. It's sad.
Luckily for us, emotions are just a byproduct of our thoughts, beliefs, and schemas. Start becoming aware of those + Identifying the many distortions present in them
isn't easy, nonetheless it's an endeavor very much worth the effort
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,717
Reaction score
3,704
My observation is that almost all relationships ended by women no matter how she ended it, where already trash for a long time.
Most times she didn’t even have genuine crazy high desire for you to begin with or she lost it.
This is a good cope thread for getting dumped.
 
Top