All the good girls are taken, why bother?

[komplex]

Word 100%

What demotes this thread from being taken seriously is the lack of empirical evidence. If you could back it up with evidence like "In a year I dated 100 HBs, and out of all the hundred I've gone out with, they all said they had a boyfriend somewhere along the way" then it would be acceptable, but you provided absolutely NO EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER to back up your claim that all the good girls are taken, and the original post is full of "what-if" statements (which also demote the validity of this thread), which include:

"maybe i am looking for someone i can pursue for a LTR" - First of all, if you've read your DJ bible and experienced enough you'd know that women don't like to be pursued PERIOD. Start creating a challenge, taking 2 step foward and one step back, ect, and you'll have more success. You also need to get off the mentality most guys have. They make every girl they meet out to be a potential girlfriend or wife, instead of playing it cool and seeing how it goes. so STOP PERSUING A LTR... there's your downfall already.

"hell for all i know they have a bf but don't tell me" - here's the biggest "what-if" statement... what-if statements are self-defeating statements that people use to not even try something, and from the looks of reading this thread, you may have tried once twice or 3 times your method, and failed all... a true pickup-artist KNOWS that only trying their method 3 times is no way to know for sure if it's actually valid or not, they will try it hundreds of times before they decide to keep it or can it.

Lucky for you, this site has canned routines that have been feild-tested and work most of the time. That means instead of trying to "be yourself" Why don't you try some of the feild-tested routines on this site? You'll be using materials from the pros, and not leaving situations up to chance by just... being yourself.

LOOK if you're so EAGER to know if they have a boyfriend from the beginning, HERE'S THE RIGHT and WRONG way of doing it.

WRONG WAY OF DOING IT:

"do you have a boyfriend?"

it comes across as insecure, needy, ect basically when you say that, it translates into a womans mind "hey I really really like you, and I hope you don't have a boyfriend, say you don't plzzzzzz!"

RIGHT WAY OF DOING IT:

"Are you single?"

this one says all the right things. It doesn't come across as desperate, and shows you're just a fun loving guy who doesn't want any boyfriend drama in his life.
---------------------

So to conclude my post, I challenge you to approach 50 girls in one week with the "are you single?" line. If they say they're taken, move on. If they are single, continue with your routine.

When you're done with this mission, report back to us and tell us how it went. Did it go how you expected? What was the ratio of girls who said they were single vs ones who said they were taken in your area? When you've completed the mission, you will NOW have some empirical field-tested evidence to prove whether your theory of all good girls being taken holds true or not.

 

[PRMoon]

No No No

This is just stupid. Okay lets say all the "good girls" (whatever that means) are taken. That doesn't necessarily mean they're going to be in that relationship indefinately. I've caught friendly girls who were at the end or near the end of a relationship whoever they were dating for one reason or another. RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT EQUAL LIFETIME COMMITMENT.

Even still there are thousands of quality girls out there who can't find a decent guy they want to date seriously. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to have their head examined. I suppose it's easier for anyone to say living in a metropolitan city where there's a larger population of girls to meet and greet but to make such a broad assmption that all quality girls are taken is pure defeatest attitude.

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
While I like your optimism for guys who are having trouble getting women, your post is fu-cked up.....

Thank you for the optimism quote part. Now to the main part of your post.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
since WHEN do all the great guys in this world just get magically "found" by some hot, intelligent, mature woman.

Funny, I now get approached by the hot chicks. When they see a hot man, they will approach you instead of the opposite way around. And by approach you. I mean they will come up to you and start talking to you. It is still your job in my opinion to get the number, set up the date, and etc.

They will approach you though if you have enough percieved value. I was able to go to a writing seminar and asked questions that made since. Suddenly I got eye contact and kino from girls that I never even talked to. Why? I demonstrated value but I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. They saw that I was interesting and they wanted to go see more about me.

When this occurs, YOU are no longer doing the work. THEY are the one doing the work and working to get to know YOU. It is not the other way around but you need to have your sh!t in order to have this done. Although looks will get you this too. If you don't have the inner game going, then you will be dropped after a few dates. Have inner game and you will gain the hearts.

BTW if I see something that I want then I will go after that object of my affection.

To your "ALL" part, of course, not ALL the great guys will be "found" by women. You must put yourself out there to be FOUND. YOU cannot be FOUND if YOU do not put yourself out in the open.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
That completely contradicts the whole purpose of this board, which is, to get off your ass and get the girls yourself.

Incorrect but a good falacy nonetheless. The point of this site, sosuave.com, is for you to gain enough of a detachment to not need anything in your life. A detachment from everything even yourself. By the meaning of yourself I mean YOU are willing to admit that you might sometime in your life BE WRONG. Thats right you could be wrong.

In my opinion, an AFC is not a man that cannot get women entirely but an AFC is a person that is too proud that they are wrong about something whether it be women or life philosophy. This is why I have a problem with pessimists is that they are so unhappy because they are always looking at the negative. They say that life sucks but I say it is what you make it. The single common denominator in your unhappiness is not the world but your own MINDSET. Once you gain control of your own life, you will see the change in people and women's perceptions.

Another part of this board is not to pick up chicks. That is a fallacy. Another main sticking point of this board is to indicate individual freedom. Freedom from your own mind and what society believes as barriers. You must knock them down in order to gain self-actualization. I knocked them down a long time ago. It is now my time on this Earth and I will do great things with it.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
If you wait on the perfect girl, it could never happen.

That is very true but you are taking an inactive active role in your own future by doing this. You are working on your own self and demonstrating value consciously by showing them what you got but you are only elicting off your true personality. Therefore you are still taking an active role in your destiny.

You are also taking the inactive role of waiting to see the girls movement. I was only showing that girls will approach if you elict enough value. if you elict no value onto them when you approach you won't get the number. Guess what? When I first started I never elicted off enough value for the one girl to want me. She rejected me but I would joke with her about it and then leave. No need to worry about her. She wasn't the best girl.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Also, I can guarantee 99% of the women in the clubs, bars, and other local hangouts (where most men get women), and all women in general for that matter, do not meet these standards that we have set forth. That means the women who DO meet the standards are not the ones putting themselves out there for the taking.... they really don't need to in the first place.

I absoleutely never go to night clubs to pick up women. Absolutely never!!! why? because those women are low key in my opinion. I hate alcohol to a T because the people are putting themselves into external happiness which WILL FADE. If you look inside for your happiness though. YOU will have happiness for a long time because you are not put in problems because of a lack of money or a hang out place. YOU have INTERNAL HAPPINESS because you don't need anything other then yourself. This happiness that you make will attract humans, men and women. Personally I don't associate with people that talk constantly about boozing or sexing it up. They annoy me.

The good women usually don't go those places like bars or clubs. These women that are the good ones are in other places using their minds, not wasting their times on external happiness. I usually will go to places such as bookstores, political rallies, churches (be wary of that one though), college classrooms, elitist summer camps, country music concerts (Yeah, I like country), and the places that are like this. I demonstrate value at these places by starting conversations and showing my value and smarts in places such as philosophy or politics. I will have women approach me and talk to me. By this time, I am the one doing the choosing of who I date. I am the one in charge because they showed interest. Unless I royally screw this up. I am gaurenteed a number and a date because they have a good interest. If I don't, then it is water off my back because I don't have to waste my time.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone It is just VERY rare for maturity, beauty, and intelligence to co-exist these days, for reasons I won't go into.

I agree with you. It is very hard to find because of all the evils in this world such as MTV, instant gratification, and other things. It is so rare that it is a welcome change to find. When you find it and know it, then you will go for it for an LTR or Marriage (Yikes! I'm not at that point yet).

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
You are most likely NEVER going to find the PERFECT woman for yourself,

Who would ever want to find the pefect woman. There would be no problems then and it would get boring quickly if I found the perfect woman. I try to find a person that is as close to my idea of fun and what I want in my life to add to my already fun and hectic life.

I never compromised when I was looking for my LTR. Never ever did I compromise. I looked around for a full year for that girl. I finally found her.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
so you have to make little compromises, and that's ok, because they do the same thing.

Whatever makes you happy :cheer:

 

[comic_relief]

Re: Re: All the good girls are taken, why bother?

Originally posted by komplex
Lucky for you, this site has canned routines that have been feild-tested and work most of the time. That means instead of trying to "be yourself" Why don't you try some of the feild-tested routines on this site? You'll be using materials from the pros, and not leaving situations up to chance by just... being yourself.

BORING!!! Why is it that this site's point and philosophy lost on 95% of the posters here.

This site is improving yourself so you won't ever need those Canned lines and routines. You have become the best person possible. It is quite sad to think that some will never grasp this concept or maybe they do but they don't talk about it.

Like my post above this, I just elict value and the women approach me. They will also give me buying signs that you can use. If you elict no value then why would a woman want to show you signs or approach?

Once they see through your little game that you are playing with them. Then they will see who you truely are an AFC at heart that can get girls they will either take advantage of you or get bored of you. Not my cup of tea.

Take control of your life and girls will follow. Do not take control of your life and watch ruin and despair follow when you try and get a LTR started because you never conquered your demons.

I got one question for everyone to ponder. Are you truely going to be happy if you are hiding the true you and putting up a shadow image? Think about it.

 

[shark]

Too many of us here as sosuave think the key to happiness in life or with women..is being this player-like type with their player-like beliefs.

Just like a good friend is hard to find, a good girlfriend or candidate for a LTR is hard to find. It is not that all girls are a certain way, it is not that any race or any group of people are some way. It may be that MOST girls around you are very snotty and rude, but not ALL of them.

Being this player type, and PUA may be all fun sometimes but you are just acting like the girls you complain about when they play their games.

Step it up, be men. Realize you're not going to find the right girl for a LTR easily, it may takes months, years..of even KNOWING the girl to realize she is for you and whatnot.

Generalizations are for the weak and lazy.

 

[Q-Pid]

3 billion chicks...all taken.

Well ****!

 

[Desdinova]

When I was single, I wanted a LTR. But unlike you, I had a different view. I didn't see that all the good women were taken. I saw NO GOOD WOMEN. They were all boring, into country music (sorry c_r ) or were mommies.

To prevent myself from getting discouraged, I came up with something to live by... "Dating is a way of passing time while finding an ideal woman for a LTR". So, I began living by that. I started dating more than one woman at a time. I would go out and approach them, and they would in turn approach me. I was at a point where I could have almost any woman I wanted. That's when I started to get fussy. I turned down the ones who weren't qualified to go out on dates with me.

Country music? SCRATCH
Kids? SCRATCH
Your hobby is getting your nails done? SCRATCH

Still, more and more opportunities came.

Then I found the ideal woman for a LTR. Actually, she noticed me. It's almost like she said, "Hey look! A man!" even though there were other men in the room. She had just moved into the city, and I was ready to fvcking pounce on her like I did with every other woman. From dating so many women, I knew I would have the ability to get that ideal woman when she came along. And I did.

Also, I don't believe in soulmates nor the perfect woman. I believe in the "ideal woman" because there is a good possibility that there's more than one ideal woman for me out there.

But you need to get your ass out there and date! If you don't know how to date, how to attract, or how to approach, that opportunity to find your ideal woman will never come. You'll end up settling for the scraps that come across your path.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Exactly, getting yourself out there is half the battle. People who are never around other people get NOTHING.... I know because I have struggled with this. Not having much of a need to be around others and be social is really a hard obstacle to overcome... some people NEED to be around others in order to feel good, but some people don't. The first group is obviously much better off when it comes to women. The thing that separates the perfect man who dates and the perfect man who doesn't get anything is just being involved with others.

Now, as to the part about girls approaching you, I applaud you, but many guys will never get to this point. I get good eye contact with basically every girl I see, and sometimes they will initiate convo, but in order for this to happen, in most cases, the girl must first know more about you than just your appearance. You have to open your mouth and be heard talking or SOMETHING that gives her an idea of your personality. I also think some guys actually intimidate the girls, so the hottest guys might not get approached a lot.... in fact I think this happens to guys more than girls. The point is, you gotta be social, you gotta make yourself known. DON'T wait on them to do the work for you, because most of the time they won't. Eye contact alone is a big enough sign to talk to them.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by comic_relief
Funny, I now get approached by the hot chicks. When they see a hot man, they will approach you instead of the opposite way around. And by approach you. I mean they will come up to you and start talking to you. It is still your job in my opinion to get the number, set up the date, and etc.

even more funny is how few guys on this board understand this. the fact that girls never approach is one of the biggest fallacies on this board. girls do approach...maybe not much, but they do. they do open you. it's what you do with that opener that matters. this happens to me too. cute chicks approach me ...they start talking to me unwarranted, usually following some sort of eyecontact or nonverbal flirtation and just come over.

i was starting to think i was one of the only ones who experienced this.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Exactly, getting yourself out there is half the battle. People who are never around other people get NOTHING.... I know because I have struggled with this. Not having much of a need to be around others and be social is really a hard obstacle to overcome... some people NEED to be around others in order to feel good, but some people don't. The first group is obviously much better off when it comes to women. The thing that separates the perfect man who dates and the perfect man who doesn't get anything is just being involved with others.

Now, as to the part about girls approaching you, I applaud you, but many guys will never get to this point. I get good eye contact with basically every girl I see, and sometimes they will initiate convo, but in order for this to happen, in most cases, the girl must first know more about you than just your appearance. You have to open your mouth and be heard talking or SOMETHING that gives her an idea of your personality. I also think some guys actually intimidate the girls, so the hottest guys might not get approached a lot.... in fact I think this happens to guys more than girls. The point is, you gotta be social, you gotta make yourself known. DON'T wait on them to do the work for you, because most of the time they won't. Eye contact alone is a big enough sign to talk to them.

Over the pas 2 years i have grown a lot. I've met many people and dated a few. Anyway im not trying to make excuses, but for the past year i have been how you mentioned, not having a need to be around others to be happy or not having a need to be social.

Anyway arround winter of last year, i finished my associates at a community college. I knew a lot of people there and had friends there. But it was a crappy college and i knew i had to transfer and i filed my form for my new college. From january into the summer (2005) all i did was work, and occasionally hung out with my buds. at the first month of summer i called quits on my bulking and stoped going to the gym. It was my dry spell, i wasnt meeting anyone new nor dating and i was strangely content with the situation. there were occasional times where i got sick of my job. Anyway during that time i've been in a routine doing the same people, with the same job, doing the same things.

This semester i im a full time student at my new college, whoopee i thought. 4/5's of the uni are girls, 100x better than my previous crap broken down college.

Basically where i am now is no different where i was half a year ago, except school/projects/hw is in the picture.
took me a month, but i finally adjusted ot the new school and know where everthing is. I thought i could catch up on everything that i missed from the past half year. Boy was i wrong.

That long ass vacation had a negative effect on me, but with some positives too. I got more laid-back, calmer, learned to not care, didnt care if i hung out, bacame more independent, and especially i didnt need people to be around me to be happy.
In the past i used to be the desperate sap looking for people to hangout. Now theyre looking for me, and half the time i end up turning them down.

anyway the first day of class was cool, had a girl hit on me and we exchanged #'s, she's a 6. I'm cool with her in class. But even from the first day till now im not even interested in her.
So anyway there are tons of girls on campus all the time, from short/ugly to stunning models. But anyway with the paragraph i wrote above, it's taken a toll for the worst.

The thing i've realized recently is that i've become a detached person. And my emotions are numb. Am i excited about class or meeting girls? yes and no. am i excited about my paycheck? yes and no (it gets me by). Am i excited about living with my parents ? yes and no (i used to want to move out but i dont care anymore).

I've also come to realize being detached = power. Power over others (people look for you to do things but it doesnt matter to you) and desires (to want is to be weak?). the power to be independent, the power to solve problems by yourself. to avoid approval seeking, to avoid expectations.

If i could keep this part of myself and get the old optimistic me with emotions back it would be great. I dont hate being detached, but i've come to accept it for the better. And in all things lies a balance, the balance which i lack.

lately i've piccked up an interest in martial arts, but if i decide to go or not, i dont think i'd mind.

Kind of like my situation wiht women. Whether or not i date or fvck, i dont think i'd mind.....Which is a good thing, but in my situation a horrible thing.

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Exactly, getting yourself out there is half the battle. People who are never around other people get NOTHING....

Exactly, this is why the KBJ's complain about not getting any. While they complain, DJ's are out in the real world testing (un)proven methods to see if they work.

They are getting it while others are not getting it at all.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
some people NEED to be around others in order to feel good, but some people don't.

This is suicide for the first group. What happens when you are alone? You are bored. You must have detachment from people to know that you can be happy without other people. There is times like this and when they occur you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue onwards (another DJ principle that comes to either the player aspect or LTR aspect).

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
The thing that separates the perfect man who dates and the perfect man who doesn't get anything is just being involved with others.

If he was this so called perfect then he would be getting out in the world instead of being stuck at home doing nothing or being bored (a social person is never bored because he realizes that being bored is a choice).

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Now, as to the part about girls approaching you, I applaud you, but many guys will never get to this point.

Most never to that point? I disagree even the biggest AFC gets approached by women. It is how they deal with that approach like h2o says below (I'll get to his post shortly).

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
sometimes they will initiate convo, but in order for this to happen, in most cases, the girl must first know more about you than just your appearance.

You were probably approached then. How many girls do you know that are uninterested that even talk to you? I have not met any of them! Uninterested women do not start convo's with you. This is why social proof (that you should have gotten during your self-improvement period) it is so important. Even then, you can still get girls but it becomes so much easier.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
You have to open your mouth and be heard talking or SOMETHING that gives her an idea of your personality.

I agree but the girls network does a great job of this. The girls network is a thing that puts google to shame. To shame!

The girls will sit there and say "Poor, Comic_Relief!!! He is an attractive man but is not dating anyone. We must fix this" so they will try to set me up. Unbeknownst to them, they send out the best they have to offer at me (or at least what they percieve to be the best) and when they talk to me. I am pleasant and act sexual towards them (i.e. flirting with them) but I will not ask for the number.

Suddenly they ask "Whats wrong with him. Is he gay" so they ask me this. I reply "Yes, I am completely gay. I just got a girlfriend that I see every other weekend." Faces are funny when they have the big "O" going on.

Suddenly the girls know that I am hooked up but does this stop them. NO it does not. They send more to test my resolve. I pass all their tests. This gets them flustered.

Even when I was unattached they still approached but I looked for the best. I seeked the best.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
The point is, you gotta be social, you gotta make yourself known. DON'T wait on them to do the work for you, because most of the time they won't. Eye contact alone is a big enough sign to talk to them.

You speak the truth, pimpfromdayone.

But you should have already been social from the self-improvement period in their life. Trust me, when you get to a point in your life when you can seriously go, I don't need a woman in my life nor do i want one. The world will be your oyster.

--------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by h2o
this happens to me too. cute chicks approach me ...they start talking to me unwarranted, usually following some sort of eyecontact or nonverbal flirtation and just come over.

yes, I get it from girls that I don't even know :crazy: This is the girls network at work. 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade girls are coming up to me to approach me.

Hell I get tired of this from time to time and I just barely say anything to them. They will then approach me again. Obviously I elicted enough value that they continually want to go out with me.

Originally posted by h2o

i was starting to think i was one of the only ones who experienced this.

No, most people either don't realize it or don't post about it.

 

[solo1]

Im not 100% sure but i believe this was probably something i trained myself to do. Because i literally pushed myself into not caring. i wanted the change, i thought it was cool. I thought it'd be great. i thought it would help me all around in life, with people, friends, and girls.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

That, my friend, is a level which very few people ever reach (especially people our age). People who depend on others for happiness are not that well off in the long run. Everyone, to some degree, needs love, but I tell you, a man who is master of his emotions, instead of a slave to them, is a great man indeed. I can relate to everything you have written in your post....
I went for years and years completely by myself, without even thinking of interacting with others.... then I became for a very short time the guy trying to find people to hang out with and stuff because I felt kinda alone and bored sometimes and I wondered what exactly I was missing out on. Well, after a little taste of what it was like to have these "friends" and these social interactions, I knew I was right all along that I didn't need it, I was above it all, BUT I decided right then and there I would continue to socialize frequently just for the sake of meeting women. Independence is great, but there comes a time when a man has to do what a man has to do. If I have to make an effort to "put myself out there" and make myself available, I'll do it, regardless of whether or not I like to do it.... it's merely a means to an end. I have a deep desire, like anyone else, to love and be loved (at least I hope most men also feel the same way), but right now I feel like I need only one other person in my life, and that one person is a woman. Do I really give a flying fu-ck what they think of my social status or how many friends I have? Hel-l no. A real man can get women without the need for this type of reinforcement. I do not, however, go around never opening my mouth or speaking to anyone. Like I said, I socialize when I'm around others (in college), and you won't ever find me without a smile on my face. ANYONE can have friends if they want, but not many people really have great social skills to talk to everyone in their everyday situations. The independence is good, but keep all your optimism and love of people in general, or you will end up lonely and depressed.

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by solo1
Im not 100% sure but i believe this was probably something i trained myself to do. Because i literally pushed myself into not caring. i wanted the change, i thought it was cool. I thought it'd be great. i thought it would help me all around in life, with people, friends, and girls.

This is why none of the good girls are coming after you.

You are not passionate about anything. Girls absolutely love passionate guys. If you are not passionate about something, then you will become boring. Boring is never a good thing.

I keep my life interesting for myself but it keeps girls wanting more. Get some passions and all of a sudden the doors will swing wide open and you will realize that girls will want you.

The former you they will pass over except low self-esteem girls, but the latter that you have potential to become will have the girls approaching you are bringing up better girls. You will need a stick to beat all the girls that are clawing for your attention.

Man up and go improve. Get a passion and self-improve. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

-Comic_Relief

 

[penkitten]

its time for people to realise that becoming happy isnt about what anyone else thinks or feels, its about how you think and feel.
its not all about rules.

 

[Desdinova]

You are not passionate about anything.

Comic_Relief is right on the money here. It seems that while becoming detached, you have forgotten about yourself. It sounds as if you're just living life day to day and just getting by. Everyone's got some kind of fire inside of themselves. It's just that sometimes the pilot light goes out.

What I started doing was getting involved in things that I had an interest in or enjoyed. I wasn't going out and forcing myself to meet other people, I was going out for the sole purpose of self-fulfillment. I'd go out and see bands that I enjoyed. When you go to the same place over and over again, you will form friendships with people because you see them regularly. When I truly let myself free to enjoy the music, that's when I got noticed. This is where the detachment benefits you - you don't give a 5hit if people think you can't dance. You dance anyway because you're having fun and enjoying the music. It's all you.

When it came to dates, I went out to have fun and dragged some chick along for the hell of it. If I was going out to have fun, I should at least have an audience, or have someone there to make fun of in case I got bored. That was the chick's job. Some of them were boring as 5hit, some of them joined in when I started making fun of them.

Again, it was all me. I didn't need anyone's approval, nor did I need anyone's company. I just took someone along for the fun I created for myself. Sometimes, they became the victim of me having fun. But it was all good, and it was all for the purpose of self-fulfillment. I'd make out with three chicks in the same bar because it was fun. I didn't give a damn what any of them thought of me. Hell, they could scream "Why did you kiss her?" and I would just say "because I'm not in a relationship with you". I was free to be an a55hole and do anything I wanted because I was detached. But I don't regret any of it because I had fun!

Guess what? I'm still sorta detached, but I'm with a woman who still comes along for the fun, and is sometimes the object of my fun. However, I still have my passions and I love them very much. She can see that, and it keeps her attracted to me.

You can be as detached as you want, but don't forget about yourself. You need to give meaning to your own life.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by comic_relief
This is why none of the good girls are coming after you.

You are not passionate about anything. Girls absolutely love passionate guys. If you are not passionate about something, then you will become boring. Boring is never a good thing.

I keep my life interesting for myself but it keeps girls wanting more. Get some passions and all of a sudden the doors will swing wide open and you will realize that girls will want you.

The former you they will pass over except low self-esteem girls, but the latter that you have potential to become will have the girls approaching you are bringing up better girls. You will need a stick to beat all the girls that are clawing for your attention.

Man up and go improve. Get a passion and self-improve. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

-Comic_Relief

Come to think of it 2 years, i was a much more interesting person. I was much more passionate about everything. People responded well to me and i had things to talk about, going on in my life. I felt very alive then, i had a purpose. Now people dont bother asking and i have nothing to talk about because nothing is happening. Now i just seem dead and care-free.

It's true not only girls but people gravitate towards someone who's passionate. They want to know what's going on with you, what's new.

Right now it seems im balancing on a double edged sword. Im not interested in doing anything, im not passionate about anything, therefore im boring. Since i am, i dont know how to climb back up because no one's attracted to a boring person.

I do strongly believe being a passionate or boring person can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Anything's possible if you make an effort. But im not making an effort and i see that. Somehow, the idea of meeting new people appears unrealistic to me. Because
no one wants to get to know someone who has nothing going for them. interesting = people want to know him, boring = im not interested in knowing you.

My lack of passion is creating a redundant cycle for me. I agree with what you guys said. generally people like to associate themselves with ambitious people, having a passion or social life could be related to ambitioun and success. Perhaps right now what i truly need is ambition, but before that comes motivation.
I think im at a point where i dont know where im going, i think when i know where im headed will i regain my old self....well who knows until the time comes.

Now about the self-fulfilling prophecy, which of you believe in it? some examples: I believe im interesting, therefore i am and do things that are interesting. I believe im boring, therefore i am and i dont really do anything. I believe im charming, therefore people enjoy my presence. And as for sosuave, I believe i'm the prize, therefore women see me as the prize.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

I don't particularly believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, but I suppose there are exceptions. Anyway, I think you are attributing passion too much with sociability (sp?). Having a social life is good, but if anything, the passion/accomplishments/achievement and other aspects of self-actualization come first, and do not depend on your social life. Let me tell you something though about your idea that everyone doesn't want to talk to you because you're boring: they are at least as bored as you are. Trust me. Most people are bored out of their minds, and few have truly interesting lives. This doesn't mean partying, clubbing, "hanging out" with friends, bar-hopping, or any of that typical shi-t.... I am talking about REAL hobbies, careers, interests, and ambitions. I myself have them, but without putting myself "out there" (the theme of this thread I suppose), I would get nowhere with women. I have said it before, but I say it again: Once you are at this level, it is very hard to find anyone who is as interesting as you, so that right there kinda fu-cks up the motivation to see others. This isn't my ego talking or anything, it is just the truth. You have to just be there to ENJOY the social interactions, nothing more. Learn to have fun there, laugh and have a good time with others, and in the back of your mind scope out some chicks to get. That is the best motivation I know of.

 

[comic_relief]

First off,

Congratulations because you are now probably not as frustrated as you were yesterday

Originally posted by solo1
Now about the self-fulfilling prophecy, which of you believe in it? some examples: I believe im interesting, therefore i am and do things that are interesting. I believe im boring, therefore i am and i dont really do anything. I believe im charming, therefore people enjoy my presence. And as for sosuave, I believe i'm the prize, therefore women see me as the prize.

the self-fulfilling prophacies alone are nothing other then to get you thinking. I can say all day that I am charming but if I sit in front of the computer screen all day then no I will still be very uncharming.

You must put action behind what you say for the self-fullfilling prophacies to work.

i think therefore I am.

This one cannot even work without words. You need to put a certain action behind what you say.

quoted by Penkitten its time for people to realise that becoming happy isnt about what anyone else thinks or feels, its about how you think and feel.
its not all about rules.

I learned this when the rules got in my way and then they almost ruined my relationship with my girlfriend. The rules are a ****amainy round of bullsh!t because they get rid of all emotion even though that is what they are supposed to do. It is a paradox that I don't want to deal with so I don't anymore and make my own rules on life up. Once you get to the point where you are the best you. Then you will not have to worry about the rules because you make your own rules and read the situations correctly.

Comic_Relief

EDIT: Instead of upping my post count I decided to place this here as a post to tmpgsxt

Originally posted by tmpgstx Rules are only for people with major insecurities.

Yes I figured that out and I am sure that any of the major posters such as Mister Fingers, Pook, Westcoaster, Giovanni Casanova, Desdinova, Eternal, Ricky, and many others that elude me at the moment.

 

[tmpgstx]

If i were a boxer, i'd be a counter puncher. In other words, i need to know where the other person is coming from before making any moves.

It puts you in a position of strength in that you're the one who is being pursued, more than you're pursuing them. You take whatever cues they give you and step it up in your own way. No rules are necessary. Rules are only for people with major insecurities.

For whatever reason, all really mature attractive women i know that have some relationship experience do the chasing for a guy they are passionate for. If it is the other way around, it often doesn't last long if it becomes at all. It's likely because they know more what and who they want and have been through the some hoops.

A girl that wants to have your childeren will definitely pursue you.