All it takes is One Slip

[GoodMan32]

Those 'orbiters' are unattractive to the women they orbit. Even before the internet, I dated women who had orbiters, and none of them would ever end up in her bed. The 'abundance' is imaginary. They wouldn't have sex with any of them, especially the ones begging for sex. I know men can be thirsty enough to have sex with some unattractive women, but women rarely stoop to sex with unattractive men.

This is why I say, don't look at other men as your competitors. The only competition you should have is with your Past Self and only to improve your Future Self. Men following women on social media are rarely in a position to have real interactions with their crushes.

I dated women who had social media presence through their modelling agencies (it's more or less mandatory now as a fashion/runway model to have an IG account) and none of them pay any attention to the simpletons who follow their accounts. They do not factor in their lives. They don't date followers, they don't find dates on social media and/or dating apps.

The difference is: Way more men have been relegated to orbiter status in 2024 vs pre-internet.

Incidentally, before we had sex, I spent 2-3 years being somewhat of an orbiter to the last woman I had free sex with. While rare, an orbiter getting sex can happen. It probably helps that I have decent looks.

 

[GoodMan32]

@SW15 But I have been offered sex on first dates before. 3 first dates in 2012 led to an offer of sex, 2 of which I turned down (the 3rd one was the one where I only accepted because she provided medical documentation proving birth control)

I also accepted sex on a first date in 2015 (If you count going out for a cheap dinner with a married woman as a "date." I accepted the sex)

I suppose one could make the argument that 2012-15 wasn't as severe as the post-pandemic era (in terms of abundance and female attitudes). But even in 2023 (when I had my first date with the woman who nexted me over a slip-up before the 2nd date had a chance to happen), she encouraged me to tell another guy we had sex to make him jealous (if she was repulsed by me, or even ambivalent about me, the last thing she'd want is for people to think we had sex)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Incidentally, before we had sex, I spent 2-3 years being somewhat of an orbiter to the last woman I had free sex with. While rare, an orbiter getting sex can happen. It probably helps that I have decent looks.

Hanging around for 'free sex' after getting some (and probably severely disappointing her) is not orbiting. Just pathetic.

 

[GoodMan32]

Hanging around for 'free sex' after getting some (and probably severely disappointing her) is not orbiting. Just pathetic.

As I said, the 2-3 years of orbiting happened before the sex. I wasn't hanging around for 2-3 years after the sex (for that matter, the last time I saw her was less than a year after our sex)

I personally don't think my performance was the best. But the fact she went through a stretch (after we banged) where she wanted me to call her on my breaks at work would suggest I satisfied her.

One benefit of banging a Gen X broad: They still do calls (Millennial and Gen Z broads only like texts)

 

[mikedee]

All this fear of being abandoned by a woman... If a woman abandons you for making an honest mistake, she's unworthy of your care and affection. People here should really work on their self-esteem.

I think people here overthink the whole seduction/women/get laid thing. They make it complicated, try to find patterns, complain, judge women, etc. They actually want to be in control, they want to find a way to control all interactions and they have expectations. It's a recipe for failure and frustration.

I agree that dating has become more difficult, but it doesn't change anything for me. I keep it simple: I see a girl a like I go talk to her. If it works, nice. If it doesn't, it doesn't make a difference in my life. I don't hold grudge or judge women who pissed me off. Very bad energy. Of course I'm disappointed sometimes, but I don't try to overanalyze. I just accept that it didn't work and I move on.

I love to get laid, but I only get laid with girls that are worth it, not OLD garbage. I go through long dryspells sometimes, it's ok. I don't question my masculinity or my power to attract women, I see it as a bad timing/not meant to be: I go on with my life.

 

[Vanderdonck]

I think people here overthink the whole seduction/women/get laid thing. They make it complicated, try to find patterns, complain, judge women, etc. They actually want to be in control, they want to find a way to control all interactions and they have expectations. It's a recipe for failure and frustration.

I agree that dating has become more difficult, but it doesn't change anything for me. I keep it simple: I see a girl a like I go talk to her. If it works, nice. If it doesn't, it doesn't make a difference in my life. I don't hold grudge or judge women who pissed me off. Very bad energy. Of course I'm disappointed sometimes, but I don't try to overanalyze. I just accept that it didn't work and I move on.

I love to get laid, but I only get laid with girls that are worth it, not OLD garbage. I go through long dryspells sometimes, it's ok. I don't question my masculinity or my power to attract women, I see it as a bad timing/not meant to be: I go on with my life.

Imagine that, a healthy, balanced, stoic perspective. What's wrong with you?

Even the title of this thread is foreboding. "All it takes is one slip." So she leaves you. So what?

Personal boundaries are important. Trying to control another person is a waste of time.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Lots of unnatural stuff is happening right now (not just in the dating/sex realm; in other realms too)

The current status quo (where a woman will next a man for reasons that wouldn't have gotten a man nexted 30 years ago, when a woman couldn't pull out her iPhone and get 20 men begging her for sex within minutes) isn't sustainable.

Yeah, I'd be down for staying with a woman who (hypothetically) wanted to next me but couldn't.

As an example, the woman I had my date with in 2023 nexted me for 2 main reasons:

• Failure to get a joke
• Unfamiliarity with the social norm that the man is supposed to pick the venue for dates

If (in the society I envision) a judge were to rule those reasons trivial (therefore the woman couldn't next me), I'm confident we'd both end up happy with the results in the end. This was a woman who showed sky high interest levels in me at first. Had we been "forced" to work out our minor "problem," that would have been for the best.

Some say marriage is a way of "forcing" couples to overcome petty squabbles (as getting a divorce is a lot harder than a girlfriend/boyfriend breaking up). My idea is the same type concept.

If it's happening in the known universe, it's natural. Maybe it's not "sustainable" for men who can't handle being nexted. You're saying you want an arbitrator to force someone to go back to a moment when she liked you better. OK. There are countries you can emigrate to that are more favorable to this scenario, fyi.

 

[GoodMan32]

If it's happening in the known universe, it's natural. Maybe it's not "sustainable" for men who can't handle being nexted. You're saying you want an arbitrator to force someone to go back to a moment when she liked you better. OK. There are countries you can emigrate to that are more favorable to this scenario, fyi.

Pedophilia happens, yet that doesn't make it natural.

As for getting nexted, the problem isn't an individual man being unable to "handle" getting nexted. The problem is the fact broads have gotten way too out-of-control with nexting; it impacts way too many men.

Nexting a looksmatch (or in many cases, a better-looking man) over a trivial reason is stupid.

I'm not necessarily saying I want to force her to go back to a moment when she liked me better; I'm saying I want her to get a grip on reality (And let trivial transgressions slide...or at the very least, give him a chance after his trivial transgression, rather than immediately nexting him)

As an analogy, I had a job interview once where I made a comment the interviewer took the wrong way. The interviewer then spent the rest of the interview putting words in my mouth (and basically telling me what a bad candidate I was). It became clear that I lost any chance at getting the job after that comment the interviewer took the wrong way. A job I was overqualified for. That pisses me off too. Same concept as a mediocre broad nexting a man over the slightest reason.

As another analogy, imagine if a company fired any employee the first time they did even the slightest thing wrong. Think of what an unsustainable business model that would be.

Nexting a man because he did a slight thing that rubbed her the wrong way has a negative impact on the broad too, as it could lead to her nexting her soulmate ("nexting" a never-ending supply of men also hurts her ability to pair bond)

Most importantly, with how easily a broad will next a man in 2024, there's a valid question of: Why should men even bother with pursuing broads if she's just going to next us the first time we slip up?

Which countries are more favorable to what I'm looking for by the way?

 

[SW15]

Most importantly, with how easily a broad will next a man in 2024, there's a valid question of: Why should men even bother with pursuing broads if she's just going to next us the first time we slip up?

Men bother because of the need for sex.