After first dates they don't initiate contact

[jaymbrs]

Yeah but unfortunately it’s not usually like that. You’re still missing out on pVssy by not reaching out

Not much since most send that kind of text.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Either they are just not that into you after having gave you a chance or they are just anxious or busy.. regardless its not a you problem most likely so dont blame yourself or your actions

Reading your post back though you might just be expecting too much / anxious about these connections..and that can come from a few diff things but you might not be feeling confident in the interest they showed you or the fun you had with them, thus seeking validation from them and them wanting to see you again.

 

[Murk]

Never experienced this, step your first date game up.

 

[BadBoy89]

In 2023, if you want a hot girl to initiate after ONE date, it won’t happen.

You have to put time, effort, energy into it. Maybe after 10 dates and sleeping together she might initiate once.

These girls have so many options nowadays they get confused. You have to do something to really stand out.

 

[BMX]

You are a meal ticket, punching bag at best. Do something about it or chase your tail.

 

[CornbreadFed]

The only thing that matters is if they go on a second date and let you escalate it back to you or her bedroom not. My current girl went cold on me for a week after our first date. I shot her a ”did you go missing” text and she responded and got her to go on a second date with me. Girls have a lot of options and you are more than likely competing against another guy and her friends, so show some persistence and aim for the bedroom ASAP.

 

[Rainman4707]

I've been on a number of first dates these last few weeks and all apart from one (which raised red flags) have not actively initiated contact/messages. They always reply fast and we have a good back and forth, but nothing initiating on their own. I don't act particularly different from my usual self, which is a bit reserved but with joking humor thrown here and there, as I'm a serious type. Is this the case for most of you guys' first dates as well, after the first date, you have to initiate contact 90-100% of the time?

Don't take it to serious, focus on yourself.

 

[user252009]

Another thing that's happening is that it's the friends of the hot girl I want that end up hitting on me for some reason. They're coworkers, too. It's a curse I tell ya

 

[Gamisch]

1. Um, that is the point; you work on what you can control, and you can control whether or not you turn your body fat percentage into muscle.

Over 40% of folks in the United States are obese, and a man can raise his SMV significantly just by shedding some pounds and building muscle.

2. Looks are subjective. A dude who is a 3 to one woman, may be a 7 to another.

The point is; work on what you can control, improve thy self, and go out and cold approach enough women and you will find the ones that are willing to fuk with you or not.



Sure, that can happen...but is that more prevalent than a woman flaking because she was never feeling the guy like that in the first place.

I think not.



Do you, pimpin.

Even though we had many disagreements, I ,again, completely agree with you.

What's a "male 3"? Someone whose "underperforming" mentally, physically and financially. All of these things can be fixed. Yes, some women will love the combination of mediocre face, ripped body, some swag and cash and ofcourse a dose of CHARISMA.

Same goes for women, maybe even easier. If a woman loses weight she'll gain half a smv piont for every ten pounds she'll lose.

I agree with much of this. If we’re on a date, it’s obvious she’s physically attracted to me. Now that that’s out the way, if I’m feeling her personality she’s undoubtedly going to have a good time as I’m a good conversationalist. My point is I’M in control and I decide if I want her to come back around. If she doesn’t, I’ll assume she died. Because there’s no chance a woman who finds me physically attractive and has a good time on a date is NOT going to want to go out again. It just makes no sense.

Gentlemen, THIS is the right attitude to have when you deal with women.

When she agrees to see you, you can either 1. pretend like there are ten more obstacles in the way and you are "lucky"

2.or you can assume she is lucky and with that assume high interest. If you go by 1,you enter HER frame,this giving her plenty of ammunition to come up with a reason to eject you. Just assume the women you'll date have much ,MUCH more " 1 date to check it out " experience than you.

7 days? That is old old school, thats like a year in hot girl time.

If I had a good date with a girl, I would wait 24 hours maximum. Push as hard as possible to get sex as soon as possible.

Absolutely! Just got in a "beef" with a plate because i didn't respond for like 10 hours. Time for (hot )women is is like dog years vs human years.

To many young inexperienced men "good conversations" means they talk a lot with the women, which is wrong. You should never open your mouth more than 15-20% percent of the date.

Yes. Made that mistake too often, assuming the women fell for my personality. Untill I started experimenting with talking less. Same ,if not better results.

There's "talking to a girl " and there's PILLOW talking to a girl. Same conversation will have a completely different impact on her AFTER you dominated her in the bedroom. I'll make a thread about this later today. EDIT: made the thread:https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/pillow-talking-when-where-and-how.277758/


Unfortunately OP never answered my question. It would be insightful to learn what he thought was a "great conversation ". Learning experience for both him and the rest of us, so Op tell us more about that.

 

[Gamisch]

Most posters don't like going into detail for some reason. I guess it should just be "self explanatory".

A shame really, because that will teach him and us more than all this geuss work.

But honestly I don't have any idea how these dudes talk to their dates. A "good conversation " with a woman to ME also means tons of flirting, eye fecking, banter negging and innuendo ect.

So if a man tells me he had good conversations I assume all of the above took place.

But i geuss i know what you mean though..
Good conversation as like: "i got to know more about her family ,her ex, her bff she hates, her slvtty sister and again her other azzhole ex. And she told me about her job protocols, her study, how tough Yoga is amd that i should REALLY read 80 shades of grey and watch sexlife".

And then be flabbergasted you got rejected huh..

 

[user252009]

Another case from last night, met with a Ukrainian girl (26), had a good time, then she says we'll text and now messages me that she didn't feel the chemistry. What does it take with these women these days? Whether I'm being myself or trying to be something else (a.k.a playing the game), neither seems to be working.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Another case from last night, met with a Ukrainian girl (26), had a good time, then she says we'll text and now messages me that she didn't feel the chemistry. What does it take with these women these days? Whether I'm being myself or trying to be something else (a.k.a playing the game), neither seems to be working.

Stopped at Ukrainian. If you're having interest issues, why pursue this nationality?

 

[user252009]

Stopped at Ukrainian. If you're having interest issues, why pursue this nationality?

What does that matter?

 

[bcude]

Women who don't initiate after a first date are not interested/not worth spending time on. Period. End of story.... from my experience.

I've experimented a bit with this though since i don't see any reason to leave good p ussy on the table, so i've initiated contact after a good first date, even after making out. The response is almost always the same - silence. When they initiate (within 24 hours), they always showed high interest and the ride was very pleasant for me. In theory (traditionally) the man is taking the woman out for an experience (date) and a well raised woman knows to thank the man for that experience and hope he'll do it again, by showing enthusiasm and interest.
Think about it. Girls obsess about relationships 24/7. You think they will let theory and logic suddenly rule over their emotions when it comes to a potential dream guy in front of them? Hell no! They can't afford it and great guys aren't growing on trees (they sure know it).
If she manages to let theory and logic rule over her emotions she's a game player or too logical to be feminine anyway so your dating experience will not be a pleasant one.
The rule is simple and it will save you a lot of time.

At some point during the date you gotta be like:" oke i am having a good conversation with her BUT its all too friendly and innocent, let me spice it up". You cannot shy away from this! If you didn't try to make a move somehow while you were one on one with her..than that's on YOU.

I can't stress the importance of the quoted part enough, along with letting her do most of the talking. Easy in theory, harder in practice.

 

[member162951]

Agree with @Gamisch. 1000%. I will go further and say that for some guys, a woman engaging them at all is considered a good conversation. No matter how banal and mundane that conversation is.

It happens so infrequently that it often gets interpreted as high interest whereas for the woman, she's passing the time or just being friendly.

 

[SW15]

Another case from last night, met with a Ukrainian girl (26), had a good time, then she says we'll text and now messages me that she didn't feel the chemistry. What does it take with these women these days? Whether I'm being myself or trying to be something else (a.k.a playing the game), neither seems to be working.

She has 100+ options on her swipe app. Why you do warrant anything more than a 1-2 hour first look? Even getting a 1-2 hour first look among 100+ options is an achievement.

You need to focus more on approaching strangers in-person.

That is also why Mode One is effective, because aren't giving women a chance to ghost or flake on you.

Mode One for the win!

 

[user252009]

You need to focus more on approaching strangers in-person.
Mode One for the win!

I don't know what this "Mode One" thing is, but I've never ever approached strangers in my life; and the few times I tried for whatever reason, it came across as cringe and everyone felt like that never happened.

 

[SW15]

I don't know what this "Mode One" thing is, but I've never ever approached strangers in my life; and the few times I tried for whatever reason, it came across as cringe and everyone felt like that never happened.

You need to work on your in-person approaching. You're 37 years old. Back when you were 16-24, in-person approaching was more common than it is now. Why didn't you develop in-person approaching skills back in the 2000s?

I'm more understanding of a 27 year old today having no in-person approaching skills. A 27 year old today probably could have gotten away with spending the last 9 years (post high school) not doing in-person approaches.

Google "Mode One Alan Roger Currie" for more Mode One information. Mode One is similar to direct approaching where you make sexual intent known very clearly and right away.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Another case from last night, met with a Ukrainian girl (26), had a good time, then she says we'll text and now messages me that she didn't feel the chemistry. What does it take with these women these days? Whether I'm being myself or trying to be something else (a.k.a playing the game), neither seems to be working.

- Maybe she lost interest or had low interest to begin with.
- She met a better option
- You didnt give her the Vaginal Tingles
- She perceives you a a beta provider but she hasnt reached the Epiphany phase yet. She´s still in the party years: She wants to ride the C0ck Caroussel and chase Chad
- Maybe she was dissapointed you didnt try to escalate.
- Maybe you gave off needy vibes, or feminine vibes, or boring vibes at some point during the date and you dried her p00zy

Or a combination of the above.

What does it take with these women these days? Maybe its not about either being yourself or playing the game. Those by themselves are clearly not working for you. You could try Demonstrating Higher Value, but that by itself could only work during The Epiphany Phase. If she´s still in The Party years and if you dont give her the Vaginal Tingles it probably wont work. You need to give them the Vaginal Tingles. Easier said than done but you have to put in the work.

 

[VirtuousD]

The "text me when you get home so i know you got back safe" method i think is probably the best middle ground, you've specifically indicated you want to hear back from her to eliminate any fears she may have that you aren't feeling her . If she can't even do that after I've paid for a meal/activity for both of us then something is clearly wrong.

I'm not down with all that old fashioned you need to initiate everything from setting up dates to breathing in this day and age. Willing to accept this may slightly f***k up the odds of a second date in some cases but i'm not losing any sleep over not seeing a lukewarm at best prospect again.