After 3 months shes gone cold

[wonderer]

update -

The flowers arrived, she unblocked me then said thank you she loved them. I apologized, she said ok but to never be mean to her again. She called me excited, asked when we could meet, I saw her yesterday.

It was like nothing had ever happened, I brought up the situation because I wanted to know what had happened, as I still wasnt sure, and wanted to avoid it from happening again, her response was that she was thinking about herself and that relationships are hard. I found this response weird, as if this was the case why was she insulting me and saying I was being mean? I then joked around with her having another guy, I asked if she was seeing someone, she said she had been but not anymore and that he had gone back to his home country, she also deleted the photo of them two off social media. I wont be bringing him up again, me and her have never had a talk about seeing other people after 4 months. I said to her if anything happens where you get upset again she needs to tell me so that we can sort it out, she agreed.

This is where we are now, we're talking all ill be seeing her again next week. What are your takes / advice going forward? or feedback on this interaction.

 

[Roober]

Sounds like she tested the waters, it didn't work out, so she came back. She didn't just ignore you, she had you blocked...

Proceed with caution...

 

[wonderer]

Sounds like she tested the waters, it didn't work out, so she came back. She didn't just ignore you, she had you blocked...

Proceed with caution...

My take is agreeing with btownbuck2012 in his comment very early on in this thread.

She started exploring other guys when she wasnt getting what she wanted from me in the relationship, she was investing in me and showing actions of high IL, however I would not text her for days at a time, and would appear too alpha at all times. She started seeing someone else, when the flowers arrived, this action rather than words of showing how I felt made her change her mind, she didnt let me kiss her yesterday, looks like we're taking it slow again while the trust is re-built.

 

[dude99]

update -

The flowers arrived, she unblocked me then said thank you she loved them. I apologized, she said ok but to never be mean to her again. She called me excited, asked when we could meet, I saw her yesterday.

It was like nothing had ever happened, I brought up the situation because I wanted to know what had happened, as I still wasnt sure, and wanted to avoid it from happening again, her response was that she was thinking about herself and that relationships are hard. I found this response weird, as if this was the case why was she insulting me and saying I was being mean? I then joked around with her having another guy, I asked if she was seeing someone, she said she had been but not anymore and that he had gone back to his home country, she also deleted the photo of them two off social media. I wont be bringing him up again, me and her have never had a talk about seeing other people after 4 months. I said to her if anything happens where you get upset again she needs to tell me so that we can sort it out, she agreed.

This is where we are now, we're talking all ill be seeing her again next week. What are your takes / advice going forward? or feedback on this interaction.

You are her plan b. You will get used then dumped again.

Her"Leave me alone. I'm dating another guy."
Guy dumps her.
Her "Come back i miss you."
You "Are you seeing another guy?"
Her "Not any more . Hence me wanting you now. When the next guy comes along you will become annoying again. "

Don't be her chump. Tell her if you aren't busy then some nights she can be your f-buddy. Nothing more

 

[wonderer]

You are her plan b. You will get used then dumped again.

Her"Leave me alone. I'm dating another guy."
Guy dumps her.
Her "Come back i miss you."
You "Are you seeing another guy?"
Her "Not any more . Hence me wanting you now. When the next guy comes along you will become annoying again. "

Don't be her chump. Tell her if you aren't busy then some nights she can be your f-buddy. Nothing more

Bit of a coincidence it all happened when the flowers got there? I have a date with someone else tomorrow, I will be looking to spin more plates.

 

[wonderer]

Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

 

[Thatfeel21]

update -

The flowers arrived, she unblocked me then said thank you she loved them. I apologized, she said ok but to never be mean to her again. She called me excited, asked when we could meet, I saw her yesterday.

It was like nothing had ever happened, I brought up the situation because I wanted to know what had happened, as I still wasnt sure, and wanted to avoid it from happening again, her response was that she was thinking about herself and that relationships are hard. I found this response weird, as if this was the case why was she insulting me and saying I was being mean? I then joked around with her having another guy, I asked if she was seeing someone, she said she had been but not anymore and that he had gone back to his home country, she also deleted the photo of them two off social media. I wont be bringing him up again, me and her have never had a talk about seeing other people after 4 months. I said to her if anything happens where you get upset again she needs to tell me so that we can sort it out, she agreed.

This is where we are now, we're talking all ill be seeing her again next week. What are your takes / advice going forward? or feedback on this interaction.

....she's 18. How are you taking any thing she has ever done or said seriously?! I am utterly baffled.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

She's still talking to the dude. She's obviously playing both of you guys...and you are letting it happen. Without even hittin it yet. How does that make you feel? Youre 28 and involved with an 18 year old, how do you think this story is going to end?

 

[dude99]

Bit of a coincidence it all happened when the flowers got there? I have a date with someone else tomorrow, I will be looking to spin more plates.

The flowers told her everything she needed to know. You are still on her hook and she has a green light to use and step on you again

 

[dude99]

Update -

She uploaded the picture of the flowers to her social media earlier, she deleted it, shes now re-uploaded the picture of her and the guy. I dont follow her on that social media

Plan b. See what i am saying now?

She used you and your flowers to make the guy who dumped her jealous. It worked. She posted the pic. He lost his mind. He was a good beta boy and went running back to her. Now the pic of the flowers is down and dude is back in her life.

You being her plan b worked......for her.

 

[Roober]

Should have said "i agree and good luck" to that first message. It is as clear as day.

NO MORE RESPONSES! block her phone number if she continues to antagonize you. She will still think you are getting the texts. Oh an cancel those dammmm flowers!!!!!



When your in a relationship, she should not be ghosting for 3 days. Trust me, it's a sign... You are essentially convincing her she made the right decision with the constant replies.

time to go complete no contact! Remove and block her from EVERYTHING, or just uninstall from your phone.

Should have cancelled those flowers...

 

[wonderer]

Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible. She said maybe she was being crazy.

I told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

I will not be contacting her again. A few things why I think this had happened:

1. I did not have sex with her
2. she still likes the other guy and has been using me to try and get him back / make him jealous
3. she does not want to be in a long term relationship - when we stopped talking before she said she was thinking of herself and that relationships take work. she loves little flings and attention from different guys
4. she does not know what she wants

 

[Roober]

Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible.

I told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

I will not be contacting her again. A few things why I think this had happened:

1. I did not have sex with her
2. she still likes the other guy and has been using me to try and get him back / make him jealous
3. she does not want to be in a long term relationship - when we stopped talking before she said she was thinking of herself and that relationships take work. she loves little flings and attention from different guys
4. she does not know what she wants

She sounds young and confused, which I suppose is par for the course. Either way, it's over now, don't let her back in...

 

[dude99]

Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible. She said maybe she was being crazy.

I told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

I will not be contacting her again. A few things why I think this had happened:

1. I did not have sex with her
2. she still likes the other guy and has been using me to try and get him back / make him jealous
3. she does not want to be in a long term relationship - when we stopped talking before she said she was thinking of herself and that relationships take work. she loves little flings and attention from different guys
4. she does not know what she wants

So.........now are you going to next her?

 

[sazc]

omg, so dramatic!

If you want an LTR and decide to spin plates to find it, if you encounter a chick that you like, do your best to keep the trust in place. Find someone who can communicate their feelings so you can have a mature discussion. a 17 year old isnt old enough to have a mature conversation, and then you totally messed with her emotions with the 3 day silence, etc.

There's nothing wrong with dating many women, just be sure you dont give any of them the impression that they are the only one. It's totally fair to tell them that you like to date for X amount of time before you consider an exclusive relationship.

Good luck

 

[dude99]

Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible. She said maybe she was being crazy.

I told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

I will not be contacting her again. A few things why I think this had happened:

1. I did not have sex with her
2. she still likes the other guy and has been using me to try and get him back / make him jealous
3. she does not want to be in a long term relationship - when we stopped talking before she said she was thinking of herself and that relationships take work. she loves little flings and attention from different guys
4. she does not know what she wants

So in the mindst of all of this have you dated any other women?

 

[icantgetlaid]

lol @ this thread .. i can't believe the members here let you get away with this behavior ...

there were several 'nextable' offenses she made when you were describing your situations with her back in November ... yet you continued to chase/waste emotional and financial resources/and then lose all dignity on top of it.

no sex after several weeks of dating = next
her STRAIGHT OUT TELLING YOU she doesn't want to be with you = next
no initiation on her part when you went ghost the first time = next

these are all super obvious nextable offenses ... when girls show signs of low interest (and you described tons of them way back on page 1) you cut bait quick and run the hell away.

we don't say that you should 'next' girls simply to save face .. we say it because you will get a way greater return on your investment when you pursue girls that actually have high interest in you

 

[Roober]

lol @ this thread .. i can't believe the members here let you get away with this behavior ...

there were several 'nextable' offenses she made when you were describing your situations with her back in November ... yet you continued to chase/waste emotional and financial resources/and then lose all dignity on top of it.

no sex after several weeks of dating = next
her STRAIGHT OUT TELLING YOU she doesn't want to be with you = next
no initiation on her part when you went ghost the first time = next

these are all super obvious nextable offenses ... hopefully you learned a valuable lesson here.

we don't say that you should 'next' girls simply to save face .. we say it because you will get a way greater return on your time/resource investment when you pursue girls that are actually very interested in you

After going through this recently, I can understand why he didn't.. It is tough when your in the thick of it... funny to watch all the new guys go through the exact same (near identical) process though

 

[Glassguy]

Update -

We started seeing each other again, it had become like old times, we were making out and she was kinoing me, hand in hand, head in my chest, she would give me good night texts with love hearts. She asked me to get her flowers the next time I saw her, I didnt do this.

Then yesterday I saw her and she said I was too good for her, and that she doesn't deserve it, said her emotions are all over the place, up and down, and that if we carry on we'd end up in a massive fight and not speaking, she said she could see as better as friends for years to come. She asked if I thought we were compatible. She said maybe she was being crazy.

I told her no, I cannot be friends with you if there are feelings, I told her to think about what she wants and I will not see you anymore. She was still sure she wanted to be friends and told me to think about it. We left the bar and she looked upset, I walked the other way.

She also talked about the other guy and how they still speak, she was calling him her ex, said that she had told him to F off, and she doesnt want to be with him. I think they had sex, she talked about how they had an argument about using protection, she wanted to, but he didnt. She also told me the truth about her age being 17.

I will not be contacting her again. A few things why I think this had happened:

1. I did not have sex with her
2. she still likes the other guy and has been using me to try and get him back / make him jealous
3. she does not want to be in a long term relationship - when we stopped talking before she said she was thinking of herself and that relationships take work. she loves little flings and attention from different guys
4. she does not know what she wants

Sorry, I am coming in late to the party.

I literally only read this page.

First off, you need self esteem and dignity. I dont kiss chicks that left me and had another guy nut in their mouth. No thanks.

Secondly, you knew she was seeing someone else immediately after ditching you. She is a wh0re. Not sure why you ever even considered taking her back, let alone sending a wh0re flowers in the first case.

Lastly, you are 28. Its cool to hook up with the younger chicks, but 18 is no age to even consider something halfway serious. They should be pump and dumps. If they are HB8s or 9s, pump and dump them a few times.

I am 39. I normally date 26-30 year olds. There is a world of separation between them and 18-22 year olds. Major maturity differences. The young chicks love drama. The 26-30 year olds want to have fun. Big difference. Even some of the 26/27 year olds lack life experience to the point that I am not interested.

You need to do a self evaluation of your worth, what you want and what you feel you need from these chicks. I promise you that if its more than a quick pump and dump, you need to start dating women more close to you own age.

If you for a second think you will find anything more than halfway fun sex with an 18 year old, you are going to be very much disappointed.

 

[Dingo]

She out gamed you.....