After 3 months shes gone cold

[wonderer]

I had made another tread about this but not all the information was correct, and also wanted to give the whole story. Sorry for the long post.

I met a girl 3 months ago, she is 18, I am 28. Things were going great.

I gamed her well until this point. Push/pull, texting was 60/40 with her mostly initiating, I would keep meeting to once a week.

There was a point early on where she bluntly said she didn’t want to see me anymore. This was because she was subtly asking for a relationship a number of times which I was too arrogant in my response. I went ghost for a day and then went a bit AFC – said I wanted her. It worked on this girl and we started seeing each other again.

Now to the issue, we had planned going to a play for some time, she bought the tickets for us, and we were both very excited for it, we agreed a couple of dates ago that we would sleep with each other that weekend, but I didn’t mention it again as she said she was scared and would need to think about it.

We went on another date after that, this was 10 days ago I knew her IL was sky high through these actions:

-Kinoing me, head in my chest and hugging constant

-she bought me gifts

-taught me I love you in her native language

-said she wished she could see me every day

-said she could not sleep the night before because she wanted to see me

-said I really like you a lot

I then didn’t initiate texting for 3 days after the date above where I then initiated with some small talk, day after that I asked her to meet at 2 for the play, she said she couldn’t go, her mum didn’t let her, there was no offer of another meet-up, I didn’t make a big deal of it and said that’s okay, I didn’t set-up another date. Turns out she went to the city with some friends she hasn’t seen in a long time.

I then went ghost for a day, then re-initiated again, asked her how her weekend was, she said she was studying (a lie) again a few texts, I wanted to gauge her interest, I wasn’t getting much, response. I then ghosted for another day, where I then initiated for a fourth time, I said have you heard from your cat in Russia, I got a lengthy response which I was pleased about, I then said again that I missed him, she replied “he doesn’t miss you” no laughing faces or “haha’s”, I then asked how she was where I got no reply. This was yesterday.

I really think something has happened, no initiating from her in 10 days, and not much texting. My plan is to go ghost another 3 days to see if she initiates, and then give her a call and ask her out. That way I’ll know where I really stand, she hasn’t bluntly said she doesn’t want to see me like before. Although not sure going ghost is going to make thing worse either, as my AFC moment before actually worked. If there’s an issue with the mum I need to think of a reply to that too.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Did you have sex with this girl at all?

It sounds like she's the kind of girl who is overly flirty with most guys and probably has quite a few of this "mini" type of relationships over the course of a year. Her super forward style had you thinking that she really was into you and that you were special but the reality of the situation is that she is probably like this with most guys she dates.

Also if she was looking for a relationship and you shot that down because you wanted to appear "alpha" that could have backfired on you. Women with options who aren't getting what they want in a relationship will start looking elsewhere while still seeing you. You must have just fell off the radar when she eventually found someone who fit the bill better than you did.

 

[dude99]

I had made another tread about this but not all the information was correct, and also wanted to give the whole story. Sorry for the long post.

I met a girl 3 months ago, she is 18, I am 28. Things were going great.

I gamed her well until this point. Push/pull, texting was 60/40 with her mostly initiating, I would keep meeting to once a week.

There was a point early on where she bluntly said she didn’t want to see me anymore. This was because she was subtly asking for a relationship a number of times which I was too arrogant in my response. I went ghost for a day and then went a bit AFC – said I wanted her. It worked on this girl and we started seeing each other again.

Now to the issue, we had planned going to a play for some time, she bought the tickets for us, and we were both very excited for it, we agreed a couple of dates ago that we would sleep with each other that weekend, but I didn’t mention it again as she said she was scared and would need to think about it.

We went on another date after that, this was 10 days ago I knew her IL was sky high through these actions:

-Kinoing me, head in my chest and hugging constant

-she bought me gifts

-taught me I love you in her native language

-said she wished she could see me every day

-said she could not sleep the night before because she wanted to see me

-said I really like you a lot

I then didn’t initiate texting for 3 days after the date above where I then initiated with some small talk, day after that I asked her to meet at 2 for the play, she said she couldn’t go, her mum didn’t let her, there was no offer of another meet-up, I didn’t make a big deal of it and said that’s okay, I didn’t set-up another date. Turns out she went to the city with some friends she hasn’t seen in a long time.

I then went ghost for a day, then re-initiated again, asked her how her weekend was, she said she was studying (a lie) again a few texts, I wanted to gauge her interest, I wasn’t getting much, response. I then ghosted for another day, where I then initiated for a fourth time, I said have you heard from your cat in Russia, I got a lengthy response which I was pleased about, I then said again that I missed him, she replied “he doesn’t miss you” no laughing faces or “haha’s”, I then asked how she was where I got no reply. This was yesterday.

I really think something has happened, no initiating from her in 10 days, and not much texting. My plan is to go ghost another 3 days to see if she initiates, and then give her a call and ask her out. That way I’ll know where I really stand, she hasn’t bluntly said she doesn’t want to see me like before. Although not sure going ghost is going to make thing worse either, as my AFC moment before actually worked. If there’s an issue with the mum I need to think of a reply to that too.

She is 18. Too immature to rationalize a relationship. She will be in love one day, hate you the next. Up monday. Down Tuesday.

She is dating other guys. Her interest in you is gone.

Also. Not talking to her for 1 day then initiating the next day isn't ghosting. It is showing her that she owns you, by your admissions you went back 4 times.

Next! Stop wasting your time on a girl who is probably still in high school

 

[wonderer]

Did you have sex with this girl at all?

It sounds like she's the kind of girl who is overly flirty with most guys and probably has quite a few of this "mini" type of relationships over the course of a year. Her super forward style had you thinking that she really was into you and that you were special but the reality of the situation is that she is probably like this with most guys she dates.

Also if she was looking for a relationship and you shot that down because you wanted to appear "alpha" that could have backfired on you. Women with options who aren't getting what they want in a relationship will start looking elsewhere while still seeing you. You must have just fell off the radar when she eventually found someone who fit the bill better than you did.

No she is a virgin. I asked her about past relationships and she had been in one four month one in the past, hadnt slept with that guy either. I sucked up after the too alpha moment, I think she actually started to think I was her bf without bringing up any sort of chats, showing her cat her "new friendboy", and calling me her boyfriend recently. I didn't want to be the first to bring up relationships or exclusivity.

I dont know if theres another guy in the picture, she would say the best day of her week was when I saw her, its also took me a lot of graft to get to where I was, first kiss on the 3rd date, she joked about me being the first person she had kissed, she was a terrible kisser to begin with. I wonder if its the mum, but even if it was, surely shed have the same feelings. I haven't ask her out since the flake, thinking NC few more days then calling. Ill move on if its not a positive call

 

[BeExcellent]

The family is campaigning against you. To the mom you are a 28 year old man looking for sex with her virgin teenage daughter. So the parents are warning her. The 18 y/o listens to her mom. This may actually be a good girl to have but you are going to have to make more effort and woo the parents regarding your intentions.

If you don't like that, move on. This is a woman who is being taught not to sell herself short. Mom & dad think you are after sex only & are coaching her.

If you are looking for a plate only this is going to be more frustration than it's worth. The parents are creating interference that you may not know how to handle. She doesn't like you enough to disobey her parents.

 

[wonderer]

The family is campaigning against you. To the mom you are a 28 year old man looking for sex with her virgin teenage daughter. So the parents are warning her. The 18 y/o listens to her mom. This may actually be a good girl to have but you are going to have to make more effort and woo the parents regarding your intentions.

If you don't like that, move on. This is a woman who is being taught not to sell herself short. Mom & dad think you are after sex only & are coaching her.

If you are looking for a plate only this is going to be more frustration than it's worth. The parents are creating interference that you may not know how to handle. She doesn't like you enough to disobey her parents.

What can I do? her parents live in Russia. Im not looking for just a plate im looking for more. I had joked about it in the past about her parents going to kill me and she said well my parents are in russia and im here. She has a very strong connection with her mum. This is my 3rd day of NC. Going NC could make her mum see me as really bad? She goes home for chsitmas holiday in two weeks should I say Ive got gifts for the mum.

 

[Desdinova]

she is a virgin.

Such a lost opportunity.

I then didn’t initiate texting for 3 days

I then went ghost for a day,

I then ghosted for another day,

Pulling back on contact doesn't work until the woman is truly invested in you. She cannot be truly invested if you haven't fvcked her yet. A woman's interest level is also very volatile in the beginning. You need to keep it high until it's sitting there on it's own.

She's done with you. Her interest level has dropped to the ground and crashed into flames.

 

[wonderer]

Such a lost opportunity.

Pulling back on contact doesn't work until the woman is truly invested in you. She cannot be truly invested if you haven't fvcked her yet. A woman's interest level is also very volatile in the beginning. You need to keep it high until it's sitting there on it's own.

She's done with you. Her interest level has dropped to the ground and crashed into flames.

I was very close, gutted, we would be in my car and id have her topless but she would always move my hands away, id freeze-out and try again but no luck, this went on 4-5 different meetings. Make-out sessions were very heavy. Just wouldnt let me go further. We agreed we would sleep with eachother and get a place to stay, she would say things like "when I sleep with you", she was on her period so it was a waiting game, then this all happened

 

[Silko]

It sounds like she's the kind of girl who is overly flirty with most guys and probably has quite a few of this "mini" type of relationships over the course of a year. Her super forward style had you thinking that she really was into you and that you were special but the reality of the situation is that she is probably like this with most guys she dates.

Oow, this is an eye opener, and seems to match my ex. She broke all her past relationships ... and never complained a lot about. Even more, she tries to stay friend with them ... the once that stay as 'friend' ... she is in control ... others disappeared.
Also, the once that stay in her life ... she speaks often negatively about, complaining about.

I understand better now my 'position' in that row ... yes ... she broke up too, and seems again already very quickly engaged in other things.
Oh yes, she tries also to stay friends ...

 

[dude99]

Lip service. This is an example of why you attention to her actions...and not her words.

She was keeping you on a string wiith words. Her actions pushed your hands away.

Dude she isn't interested. Next.

 

[wonderer]

Update

I tried to call her this evening as I wanted to ask her out, this was my final see as to what was going on. I called, no answer, the text conversation then goes like this:

Her: did you call me?
Me: yeah, are you free to talk?
Her: not today
Me: Thats okay! im just leaving for london now anyway
Me: does ghost (nickname) want to meet cactus (nickname) for coffee soon?
Her Then piss off

Im done now. She disrespected me too. Im glad that she told me to piss off because now I know exactly where I stand.

Still so confusing as to why the complete change. Few things I can think of:

• The mum (even if this wast he case surely thered still be feelings)
  
• me going NC for days when things were good, although our texting was sporadic anyway
  
• Me pushing for sex, I was very close, her getting scared about it all
• Me never doing anything nice for her, no gifts or anything, this wouldve gone back to the mum, I was using the no gifts before sex rule, it was 3 months
• I dont think there was enough re-assurance / comfort for this virgin

Im going NC. Maybe ill call her in the future, this is one volatile, emotional girl. Also not sure if this important but she has daddy issues - her and her dad arent on speaking terms and always argue, her and her mum are very close

 

[Juanto]

Im going NC. Maybe ill call her in the future, this is one volatile, emotional girl.

Drop this girl like a bad habit mate, especially after this interaction,

 

[Silko]

such a pity another person can confuse us so hard.

it shouldn't be never the/your case

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Chicks under 25 should NEVER be taken serious as a gf. Dude99 nailed it, read it 10x.

You could meet another 20 something next week and it could end up being a month fling.

You've been on here since 2014. How do you not know this?

 

[Tenacity]

You've been on here since 2014. How do you not know this?

Being ON HERE is the OP's problem and it's what led to him losing his girl. Let's break this down further..........

I met a girl 3 months ago, she is 18, I am 28. Things were going great.

I gamed her well until this point. Push/pull, texting was 60/40 with her mostly initiating, I would keep meeting to once a week.

Stop the Sosuave/Manosphere gaming stuff. All you have to do with women is fix your looks, personality, and finances to a point to where they deem you "attractive"......from there....you can just relax and go with the flow of your personality in terms of keeping things fun, interesting, and having a good time together.

The situation was going well with you and her because she was attracted to you, it had nothing to do with any of the Manosphere "games" that you were playing because if the "games" is what made her like you.......she would have never left you (as you continued to play the games).

She LEFT you because she eventually figured out all you were doing was playing games, and she got fvcking tired of it.

There was a point early on where she bluntly said she didn’t want to see me anymore. This was because she was subtly asking for a relationship a number of times which I was too arrogant in my response. I went ghost for a day and then went a bit AFC – said I wanted her. It worked on this girl and we started seeing each other again.

She's attracted to you and wants to be with you in a relationship. You then begin playing the bullshyt Manosphere games (because that's what you were told to do from anonymous pseudo Alphas on this website). She got tired of it and pulled BACK.

Then you dropped the games, got real, and she CAME back again. You call this acting AFC, NO, that's called reciprocating interest....thus, once she seen you reciprocating interest she CAME BACK.

Now to the issue, we had planned going to a play for some time, she bought the tickets for us, and we were both very excited for it...............We went on another date after that, this was 10 days ago I knew her IL was sky high through these actions:

-Kinoing me, head in my chest and hugging constant

-she bought me gifts

-taught me I love you in her native language

-said she wished she could see me every day

-said she could not sleep the night before because she wanted to see me

-said I really like you a lot

I then didn’t initiate texting for 3 days after the date above

So the girl is CLEARLY into you as she believes you are into her.......then you start the bullshyt games again by not texting her for 3 days or something?

Sir, take off your Manosphere programming for a minute and ask yourself a question....if someone did the same shyt to YOU that you did to this girl....what would YOU do? Wouldn't you get pissed the fvck off and pull back/say fvck it as well??

..... I then initiated with some small talk, day after that I asked her to meet at 2 for the play, she said she couldn’t go, her mum didn’t let her, there was no offer of another meet-up, I didn’t make a big deal of it and said that’s okay, I didn’t set-up another date. Turns out she went to the city with some friends she hasn’t seen in a long time.

I don't blame her. Let's see, should she continue playing games with "Wonderer" over here...or go hang out with people who genuinely want to be with her?

I then went ghost for a day, then re-initiated again, asked her how her weekend was, she said she was studying (a lie) again a few texts, I wanted to gauge her interest, I wasn’t getting much, response. I then ghosted for another day, where I then initiated for a fourth time, I said have you heard from your cat in Russia, I got a lengthy response which I was pleased about, I then said again that I missed him, she replied “he doesn’t miss you” no laughing faces or “haha’s”, I then asked how she was where I got no reply. This was yesterday.

Yes, she's finally done playing with your ghosting a.ss. You just lost a potentially GOOD GIRL because you have been on this website, listening to anonymous, one-dimensional fvck-tards who post NO information on ANY women they are with.........but program you guys to go out in the field and use their bullshyt a.ss "techniques" on women.

If you would just focus on remaining "attractive", which is to have your looks decent, personality decent and finances decent..........you will be OK. There's no such thing as Alpha Male, Beta Male, AFC, or any of this other bullshyt that these anonymous fvck-tards on this website preach.

All you have is attractive or unattractive.....interested or not interested. If you are attractive and dealing with an interested chick, all you have to do is just continue to maintain the relationship through having fun, spending time, and letting her know you care. That's it.

 

[dustmuffin]

• Me pushing for sex, I was very close, her getting scared about it all

• Me never doing anything nice for her, no gifts or anything, this wouldve gone back to the mum, I was using the no gifts before sex rule, it was 3 months

So you have been dating this woman for three months and no sex yet? I know she is crazy are you? I would have dumped her a long time ago. You need to do the same. If she liked you she would have f ucked you on the first date. I have a three strike rule. No sex after three dates and I'm gone.

You have invested a lot in a woman that hasn't invested anything in you. Cut your losses, learn from your mistakes and move on.

 

[Tenacity]

So you have been dating this woman for three months and no sex yet? I know she is crazy are you? I would have dumped her a long time ago. You need to do the same. If she liked you she would have f ucked you on the first date. I have a three strike rule. No sex after three dates and I'm gone.

You have invested a lot in a woman that hasn't invested anything in you. Cut your losses, learn from your mistakes and move on.

DustMuffin....she DID invest in him. She took him out, bought him things, etc. A woman has to fvck on the first date or she doesn't like you? Lol....wow.

The girl is a damn virgin, she just wanted to save it a little bit but she was CLEARLY going to give it up to the OP eventually. It also looked like she would be pretty loyal to him and by her being so young as well as the OP being the first to POP her cherry........man that has "good deal" written all over it.

We as guys complain about women being hoes and slvts....then when they don't act like hoes and slvts, we complain SOME MORE about why they aren't acting like hoes and slvts.

 

[pyros]

1 YOU CANNOT GAME A VIRGIN the same way you would game a 26 years old woman. (duh)
1.1 You did nothing nice for her as you said in THREE MONTHS, with a 18 years old girl.
2. She probably understood that you just wanted sex.

Smart girl, dumb OP.

 

[wonderer]

1 YOU CANNOT GAME A VIRGIN the same way you would game a 26 years old woman. (duh)
1.1 You did nothing nice for her as you said in THREE MONTHS, with a 18 years old girl.
2. She probably understood that you just wanted sex.

Smart girl, dumb OP.

I gamed her too hard. I took the rule of treat all women the same. Ive been on this forum for way too long learning all the hard and fast rules and completely messed up.

 

[om1xr]

I gamed her too hard. I took the rule of treat all women the same. Ive been on this forum for way too long learning all the hard and fast rules and completely messed up.

Imitation will fvck up many opportunities, in game or life in general you should be fluid and learn to read and interpret the signs girls send and then you act on it. treating girls the same have some advantages but it also have some disadvantages. people psychology differ and gaming is no more than understanding the human psychology and using that to your advantage. you seem to not enjoying the play of gaming and dating and that will be a big obstacle because you ain't having fun dude and if you are gaming like it's some kind of a job process thing then that's not how this thing works.

now forget the rules, guidelines and whatever. with younger girls you need suspense, sexual tension, adventure and above all fun, and it's perfect for you too because you never get old.

anyway I don't know if you can salvage this but as a note try to stop have the attitude of just wanting girls for sex: some will use that as a power play and they will mess up your mind and resources and there are a lot of fvcked up chicks out there, again suspense and sexual tension is a weapon you should use especially when you are after a sex but you send the signals that you ain't after it.

plan something, a walk, a bowling thing, a hiking but don't kiss her, eye fvck her, touch her, get closer as you are going to kiss her and then pull away and go on doing something else. while having some texting convo; be engaged and after some minutes disappear, when she asks or suggests commitments say "oh this is bad " "**** this again" and then ghost for a few hours and the when you reengage tell her to meet in a place...etc/

enjoy the game man, don't look separate the ends and means, make the means and ends as one, game for gaming's sake.

but that's just me. if that's not your style then find your style but you haven't gamed that chick at all but she gamed you hard because of LMRs and now you are posting here continually about her.

there are many ways that you can get her back begging but it depends on the girl...can she sees you with other girls? does she get jealous? is she needy? what she likes about you? is she clingy? is she possessive?...etc. ask yourself these questions and remember that the biggest need of humans is to be needed; the whole social medias is based on that and attention and validation and ego inflation comes as just a byproducts of that needing instinct.

when you find answers to the above questions and see what values she evaluate and what values you offer; you can use that but you have to think for yourself and act on that but more importantly have fun with it and drop that neediness. take a week and use that time on other things, don't think about her, go cold approaching, read books, do some online gaming and go on some dates, and after that week play with her again but just see it as playing not a means to an end and you will have a different flavor with it.

this was long but i hope you get something out of it, if not for this one, maybe for the next ones.