AFCs I've known

[The Bat]

This begs the question: How did we get to this point? Many decades ago women looked up to men as providers, caretakers, fathers, and all around good guys. How did we get to a point where even the term AFC was invented? Sure, there were probably AFC's in the 40's and 50's, but I'm guessing there weren't a lot of them. Today, there's way more AFC's than real men. It's sad that we've gotten to this point.

That's a really good question. I read somewhere that combination of political movements including sexual revolution of the 60s, women's suffrage movement, civil rights movement (women saw the power lying underneath the victim role).

Surely, some people will blame the media. But how did the media get to that point? Why wasn't there somebody to put a stop on the non-sense when the media first started publicizing the BS?

What about academics? What about the legal system (which was influenced by the political movements)?

These are just a few answers that may answer the question. But you are right when you say that it's a little discomforting to know that we're at this stage where AFCism is killing dreams, souls, and lives in great numbers.

 

[WestCoaster]

I'm actually a proponent of many of the movements you listed, even feminism to a certain point. The problem when any movement goes awry is when it gets extreme. Sure women should fight for equal rights and pay. Should they tear down men to get what they want? No. But that's what the movement has become.

The Civil Rights movement was much wiser than feminism. The extremists, like Malcolm X, had followers, but not many. The focus was on issues like racial equality. African Americans and others were wise enough to figure out that their movement wouldn't go very far as long as others kept getting torn down. Now of course others got torn down and still do today, but the feminist movement has morphed into mostly a complete hatred of men. I don't get it.

So perhaps that's how we've gotten to this point. I actually put more of the blame on men instead of women or political movements. If men had quit apologizing for being men, this wouldn't have happened. And I don't care what the media or a political movement says, real men are their own men and are not influenced by outside factors.

All I know is most men are wimps these days, especially married men. I know maybe one or two married men who aren't pushed around by their wives -- and I know a lot of married men.

Usually the problem is in the mirror looking right back at you.

 

[KontrollerX]

I see so many examples of AFCism every single day and it INFURIATES me. All my friends are AFC's except for one, who is an absolute natural.


Here is an extreme example of an AFC, and I just got word this morning that this former friend of mine died of a heroin overdose three days ago. He was found dead in his apartment.

Ben was an amazing artist and musician. He could have had a record deal. He was Bob Dylan reincarnate, I swear. He got hooked up with the wrong chick, and he spiraled into intravenous drug use because of her and her addiction. Then, he got her pregnant.

One night, they were having an argument (read: she was yelling and screaming at him) and he tried to follow her into the house. While he had his hand around the door to push it open, she turned around the KICKED the door shut with his hand in the way. She broke nearly every bone in his left hand. That was the end of his musical career.

Did he leave this b1tch? Nope. Instead, he decided that it would be a good idea to have another child with this she-devil. He tried to clean up, but it was hopeless. She was the accelerant in his downward spiral, and he KNEW IT. My friends and I finally had to kick him out of our lives because he broke into my buddy's house and stole his checkbook and forged checks all around town.

He left town and moved with this cvnt to Washington state. Right now, she is in the hospital with failing organs and will die soon. Ben is now dead. He died with a needle in his arm. Now there are two children without parents.

He could have gotten out while the getting was good. The signs were there like a neon sign in Vegas. He chose to ignore those signs. He chose to stay with this woman WHO KILLED HIM! SHE RUINED HIS LIFE!! Because he couldn't play music anymore, he sank into a depression which was fueled by drug use and a realization that he now had two children with this she-devil.

RIP Ben. You deserved much better.

Damn Magma.

Thats awful.

My condolences for your friend and I guess Latinoman really was right.

Selecting the wrong woman literally can kill you.

 

[ElChoclo]

As Borat would say, "NICE!"

Here's one whom I know;

Leaves school, tries studying engineering at night whilst working as a clerk. Can't do it. Changes to a high paid blue collar job. Travels the world, spending up big. Buys a house for himself.

One day in his house he meets his cleaning lady Started dating his cleaning lady, a small girl from Vietnam. Knocks her up. Gets married to her. At the wedding she has a gut and his father gives some drunken speech about the Vietnam war being resolved by this marriage or some crazy thing.

Leaves his high paying job to follow his dream of self employment. Series of dead end blue collar jobs. Finally ends up driving around town fixing ovens and fridges. Brother was dux of the school dual honours in science and engineering and science at university. Father was an actuary.

Has 2 kids. Ends up living in a shed behind the house in a cheap area where his 2 kids and wife live, for about 8 years, paying child support to his useless wife and the mortgage working 70 hours a week. Finally gets a divorce, family home sold. Buys another somewhere. Never heard from again.

 

[The Bat]

Coincidentally, Law & Order had an episode tonight (I believe it was a new one) that exemplified AFC at his worst.

Eric works for Bob in a auto body parts garage. Bob runs a website under the false guise of a Marine selling antique maps. Turns out that Bob stole these maps from the library and is making an illegal profit off of them. Profit for what, you say? You guessed it. To buy gifts for his online girlfriend Jenny.

Eric was involved online with Jenny also and found out about Bob and her. He drives 600 miles in a car "borrowed" from work to inform Jenny that Bob is a wannabe. Couple of days later, Eric is murdered.

Police later find out that Jenny's mother is posing as Jenny and receiving money and gifts from Bob. When Eric drove up and told her about Bob, Jenny's mother figured her "income" was sabotaged since Eric would expose Bob to Bob's family.

So, who killed Eric? Jenny's mother, posing as Jenny online, tricked Bob into killing Eric. The real crux of AFCism occurs towards the end of the episode. The DA is trying to get Bob to confess that it was Jenny's mother who had tricked him into killing Eric. The way DA gets the confession is by telling Bob that he would be such a warrior, a true knight to Jenny if he helped put the real culprit (Jenny's mother) behind bars. Bob is, of course, excited to be with Jenny forever when he confesses and gets a deal out.

Turns out Jenny was killed by her own mother years ago. The mother was using Jenny's online persona to reel in suckers and have her send gifts and money. Bob is upset when he finds out that his "one and only" has been murdered even though they had never met off-line.

Recap, Eric the AFC drove up 600 miles in a "borrowed" car to save Jenny from Bob the fake. Bob the AFC killed Eric because Jenny told him that she loved him and would be her hero if he committed the murder. Jenny's mother, the gold digger, killed her daughter and used her online persona to get free gifts and money from chumps online. Actually, in one scene, Jenny's mother's neighbor was also an AFC because he is a "sweetheart and a good handyman" who fixes her stoves and ovens. I want to say that the DA was manipulating Bob into a confession when he tells him that Jenny is waiting for her prince and want him to do the "right" thing, blah blah blah. Watch the episode.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting how media portrayed AFCs. I'm willing to bet there are chumps out there who sympathized with Bob (and Eric to some extent) for his blind belief in one-itis and doing the right thing as a "warrior".

Ugh. I almost want Jack McCoy, Jerry Orbach, and Jesse Martin back rounding up gangsters, corporate frauds, and religious extremists.

 

[iqqi]

Pardon me, but none of these guys sound AFC.

These are not average chumps! These are sick, sick people being attracted to other sick people.

AFC to me is the guy who brings flowers to the first date and doesn't dump the girl when she kisses another guy at the bar.

You guys are bringing up some sick sh!t, and you have to admit that your friends, or the guys in the TV shows, were SICK to start with. They were attracted to someone that mirrored something within, (sick), and got SICKER, and into a worse situation. Which is much easier to do then healing thyself.

Think about it.

 

[Max Power]

There's so many AFCs I know it's hard to choose.

One of the reasons I never became a complete married AFC was my older brother. His bad example was a good example for me.

High school. My brother has a girlfriend, great personality, he's in grade 11. After graduation my brother asks girlfriend to marry him, she is freaked out and says No. He drops her.

Brother gets another girlfriend, unattractive bad personality. He asks her to marry him. He's living at home and working at a saw mill, she's still in high school she says Yes. Her father gets my brother a high paying job with the city. After four years of engagement they never get married.

Brother has another girlfriend. Sexy and good body and very ambitious and intelligent. Proposes to her. She says we're too young. Brother cheats on good girlfriend and quickly is married to pregnant slut girl who came out of nowhere. I'm 14 and pregnant slut girl's 50 year old mom hits on me at wedding reception. Brother has kid who looks nothing like him. Years later we discover it wasn't his kid and -- get this -- he was aware of that before marrying this woman.

Brother and slut girl married for 3 years buys a house two blocks from my parents' house. She gets a job as a waitress, ****s a sales guy and leaves my AFC brother. Actually she didn't leave him, but kicked him out. Slut girl and sales guy still live in my brother's house two blocks from my parent's house.

Brother picks up a college intern at work and is married to her within 2 years. She's super hot but an air head. Doesn't like my family. They're married for three years. She ****s the mayor's son and leaves my brother.

Brother is now 30. Marries obese attention *****. Attention ***** thinks she's smarter and more enlightened than everybody in my family and calls my dad a racist after he made a pretty funny off coloured joke. To make things worst, my elderly dad was pretty upset about the allegation. At least he was the last time I talked to him. He died shortly after that spending his last days wondering if he was racist, even though he was a foster parent to children of all races when he was younger. Why because some obese attention ***** who was married to my brother had to call other people racist to give her obese ass validation. Obese attention ***** also ruins every Christmas dinner with similar behaviour from 1993 to 2000.

Marriage to obese attention ***** lasts close to 10 years until my brother is diagnosed with M.S.

Brother has to go on compensation and quit job because his motor skills fail. Obese attention ***** leaves my brother less than a year after he is diagnosed and about the same time his last big cheque from his former employer is cashed. Even though my in shape brother was okay with being married to 10 years to an obese big mouth who was so enlightened, she had no problem dropping him like a toy one year after he is diagnosed with a serious disease.

Fast forward to today. Brother is nearing 50. Has lived in a home for the disabled for five years. He is losing a lot of cognitive abilities. I suspect he will propose to one of his 20 something female caretakers. He hits on them all the time when I go to visit. LOL.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Pardon me, but none of these guys sound AFC.

These are not average chumps! These are sick, sick people being attracted to other sick people.

I really wish this were the case, but while they sound extreme, these aren't isolated individuals they ARE the majority and thus the average. Of the men I described, were you to meet them, you'd think they were just normal, well adjusted guys. They pay their bills, love their mothers and go to church on Sunday. They're not deviants. The commonality among them, and the majority of men in western culture, is a default toward supplication where women are concerned and the fallout from this AFC mindset IS the resulting stories you're reading here.

 

[STR8UP]

That's one of the saddest stories I've read, AFC being one of the causes of his death.

This begs the question: How did we get to this point? Many decades ago women looked up to men as providers, caretakers, fathers, and all around good guys. How did we get to a point where even the term AFC was invented? Sure, there were probably AFC's in the 40's and 50's, but I'm guessing there weren't a lot of them. Today, there's way more AFC's than real men. It's sad that we've gotten to this point.

How many AFC's would you find in a primitive tribe in the jungles of Borneo? Not too many, I would expect.

It's a cultural thing that probably started when things began to get cushy with the advent of modern life. Feminism exacerbated the problem and caused it to reach the proportions its at today. I would guess that has or is close to reaching its peak, and is soon going to change for the better, probably within our lifetime.

I would personally like to thank the internet for opening my eyes to the sad way of life I was leading.

 

[STR8UP]

Surely, some people will blame the media. But how did the media get to that point? Why wasn't there somebody to put a stop on the non-sense when the media first started publicizing the BS?

It's all a reflection of society.

It's very difficult for people to grasp the concept that the media is a profit driven machine, without a mind or motives of it's own. Why is that so hard to understand?

The media REACTS to what the consumer desires.

The consumer BUYS a show where the man is seen as a pu$$y, so that's what's produced.

Does it contribute to the problem? In a way. However, the media is a BUSINESS with no responsibility to try to change the course of society.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

It's all a reflection of society.

It's very difficult for people to grasp the concept that the media is a profit driven machine, without a mind or motives of it's own. Why is that so hard to understand?

The media REACTS to what the consumer desires.

The consumer BUYS a show where the man is seen as a pu$$y, so that's what's produced.

Does it contribute to the problem? In a way. However, the media is a BUSINESS with no responsibility to try to change the course of society.

Is this part of the reason why a guy that seems like a DJ can sudden become an AFC in marriage? Is it that he was pretending to be a DJ, but allows the AFC to come out because he feels validated by society, or is he a DJ that concedes defeat?

 

[Diamondhead]

Is this part of the reason why a guy that seems like a DJ can sudden become an AFC in marriage? Is it that he was pretending to be a DJ, but allows the AFC to come out because he feels validated by society, or is he a DJ that concedes defeat?

I honestly believe it's because as males, at our core, we're not all that different from women. You always hear how men are logical and women are the emotional ones..... I think we learn to display alpha traits because of the reward of attracting women, as women no doubt respond to that behaviour on a primal level.

But at the deepest realm of our psyche, I believe all humans, men and women, crave the same thing. Emotional comfort, intimacy, a "connection" and all that fluffy **** that we're taught to mask, at the very least. Therefore even the most rugged of alpha males, when put in a (seemingly) safe and secure environment like marriage, slowly allows those vulnerable characteristics to come out, and the facade to a certain extent is lifted.

I'm not saying all men are secretly emotional sissies, because most of that alpha behavior is getting in touch with our male side that feels very very natural.... I just believe that we have that women side to us more than most are willing to admit, and when you feel you can let your guard down, that side tends to show its colors.

 

[Magma]

Post Deleted

My post got deleted. I don't believe that it contained anything that warranted a deletion.

In the spirit of QUALITY OVER QUANTITY, I took my time and expressed my opinion regarding the question of "How did we get to this point?" and to also address Iqqi's post. *cough* troll

Apparantly, someone didn't like what I said and deleted my post.

I find the deletion of my post to be particularly egregious.

Thank you.

 

[STR8UP]

I'm not saying all men are secretly emotional sissies, because most of that alpha behavior is getting in touch with our male side that feels very very natural.... I just believe that we have that women side to us more than most are willing to admit, and when you feel you can let your guard down, that side tends to show its colors.

I agree with the premise behind your post, but I think it's more that men are also human, and therefore are subject to the same desire for socialization as women are.

Fact is, men aren't emotionless drones and women aren't completely irrational and random. We are all living in this world together, we (should) compliment each other, which requires interaction.

So I don't necessarily believe that it is your "feminine side" that seeks intimacy, it's your human side, the part of you that desires to be "with" someone, same as a woman desires to be with someone.

 

[iqqi]

I really wish this were the case, but while they sound extreme, these aren't isolated individuals they ARE the majority and thus the average. Of the men I described, were you to meet them, you'd think they were just normal, well adjusted guys. They pay their bills, love their mothers and go to church on Sunday. They're not deviants. The commonality among them, and the majority of men in western culture, is a default toward supplication where women are concerned and the fallout from this AFC mindset IS the resulting stories you're reading here.

Yeah but you could say the same for the so called female monsters. They SEEM normal. But they aren't. Something is really messed up. Now some AFCs can be pushed into being insane, but they DID CHOOSE that insane/ill woman that made them that way.

Another thing is, I could put down a few stories from my friends who are female and AFC and how men they chose ruined their lives. Notice I said MEN THEY CHOSE.

I think something is wrong, but it isn't as simple as with one gender. I think it is a family thing, and I don't think it has everything to do with just one gender as the bad guy.

Anyways my previous point was in regard to the more insane stories that were given. Those were twisted, and involved sick, mental people on both sides.

I think my main point would be, it isn't as simple as labeling someone an innocent naive AFC, and blaming a woman.

 

[synergy1]

I can think of one instance of a good friend who has had his life ruined by marrying the wrong women. He is the product of an intelligent, well to do family, the father being a doctor. He graduated college with an excellent degree but never seemed to develop his sense of confidence along the way. He married the first women he met - a women that recognized that a family of a doctor lineage must have money.

This wasn't the case as it would come to play out. Over time, the marriage deteriorated, and they had two kids. From there it only got worse, as the wife realized she would never get a cut of the inheritance from the fathers side, she literally went insane. She essentially alienated herself from her entire family, and kept wasting her husbands money. The Many people urged him to get a divorce , but he did not.

A great person is thus lost to the wrong marriage.

 

[STR8UP]

I got a good one for you.

A H/S friend of mine has been married to his wife for quite awhile now. At least ten years I'm sure.

She started seeing someone else, so what does he do? He picks up the family and MOVES out of town so she can't see the guy anymore. What happens when they move? She starts seeing ANOTHER guy.

Now he's all up her ass, no sex, she calls all the shots and he's right there to jump through her hoops.

He's one pu$$y whipped mofo if I ever saw one.

 

[The Bat]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/military_the_enemy_within

It's a long read but it's well worth it. An incredible story of AFC at its finest, yet with extreme consequences. AFC because he not only became the "surrogate" father (give me a break!), but he took up the place of that Knapp soldier and went to war instead. Knapp excused herself out of going to the war zone because it was either "go to war and leave the kids behind" or "disobey orders and stay with kids". Obviously, disobeying military orders such as deployment will demand harsh punishment from the military, so our "hero" went to Iraq instead.

Then the story gets better with the wife seperating and failing to stand by her "hero" husband...

AFC tragic greek-hero at its best yet with the worst outcome...

 

[Deep Dish]

Hey Rollo,

Just out of my curiousity, nothing more, where do you find I fall into the behavioral spectrum? I mean, you don't really know much about my background, but suffice to say I do have my history of blunders in my earlier youth, which I definitely think I've largely overcome. As you know, my personal problems were rooted more along the lines of mental health, which forever will remain an issue to manage, than fitting into the typical AFC paradigm. Since we've met several times, I'm just curious what you think.

Cheers.

 

[KingBeef]

Shawn
Shawn is a guy I know who basically ONEitised on EVERY girl who EVER dated him. He'd been married for about 2.5 years to a fairly religious girl who told him she "wanted to be a pastor's wife" only to have her eventually cheat on him with a guy who was the Bad Boy and ended up in Las Vegas. Shawn went on to get a master's in education, and moved to a string of "coulda been" GFs, who'd date him for about 2-3 weeks, figure out his Disneyesque views of love, LTRs and men & women in general. He was a very good songwriter until he found himself in one of these "coulda been" ONEitis spells. Then every song was about the girl he thought was his "gift from above" and he proceeded to smoother her in his clingy-ness and idealize her on a pedestal. He went through about 3 or 4 of these while I knew him until he met his 2nd wife. Mary was a single mother of one son and technically his step-cousin (his step-fatehr's, brother's daughter). She'd "accidentally" gotten pregnant by a black guy on the college basketball team and according to her very strict father had disgraced the family, but them being religious she had the baby and began her life as a single mom. Shawn adopted the Cap'n-save-a-ho persona and started this whirl wind ONEitis crusade to "do the right thing" and not only marry her, but legally adopt her son. Mary of course was happy to have the help, but saw Shawn for what he is; desperate and a romantically idealistic AFC. Mary was actually a pretty good friend of Mrs. Tomassi for a time and she'd confide in her that she wished he had the ambition and drive that I had. The short version was that she wanted a Man she could respect - similar to her authoritative father - and while Shawn was welcome help, she just wasn't hot for him. Now Shawn is legally bound to her and the child he never fathered and has little respect for him.

"gasping for words" :crazy: :crazy: