AFC Suicide

[Rollo Tomassi]

As hard as it might be to swallow, these suicides are NOT the woman’s fault.

Oh, I think you're missing my point. I in no way meant to imply that these women had anything directly to do with these guy's suicides. They only did what women will do as their conditions dictate. These men were both 100% responsible for their own deaths. And that's just it, it was their ego-investment in their AFCness (for lack of a better term) and in their ONEitis that killed them. It was their inner AFC that drove them to suicide.

This is why I argue that ONEitis is a mental disorder, and in extreme cases, has the potential to be terminal. As I stated, if a man internalizes for the majority of his life that he "can't live without" a woman and he has even mild self-esteem issues or personality disorders it may be that he literally can't live without a girlfriend or wife. I'm blaming women out of hand - put simply, women will do what women will do according to their conditions. So when paired up with an AFC and then quite understandably wants to leave him either for her own good or a better option, this AFC extremisim comes into play. Honestly, I think this AFC mentality is comparale to Borderline Personality Disorder in neurotic women.

 

[grinder]

Oh, I think you're missing my point. I in no way meant to imply that these women had anything directly to do with these guy's suicides. They only did what women will do as their conditions dictate. These men were both 100% responsible for their own deaths. And that's just it, it was their ego-investment in their AFCness (for lack of a better term) and in their ONEitis that killed them. It was their inner AFC that drove them to suicide.

This is why I argue that ONEitis is a mental disorder, and in extreme cases, has the potential to be terminal. As I stated, if a man internalizes for the majority of his life that he "can't live without" a woman and he has even mild self-esteem issues or personality disorders it may be that he literally can't live without a girlfriend or wife. I'm blaming women out of hand - put simply, women will do what women will do according to their conditions. So when paired up with an AFC and then quite understandably wants to leave him either for her own good or a better option, this AFC extremisim comes into play. Honestly, I think this AFC mentality is comparale to Borderline Personality Disorder in neurotic women.

I was referring to the some other posters who immediately fell into the blaming game. No offense meant to your OP. I should have quoted them to be more succinct.

 

[Firepower]

He was a raging A-Hole on-air and did his best to offend just about anyone who listened to his show or called in, but in real life he was one of the biggest AFCs I've encountered.

With a psy background, this is obvious internal conflict. Professionals know what results follow.

Who cares more for the brother-in-law - you, or his wife of 20 years. The widow quickly married a millionaire. I am curious if she even took the time to write about it in a forum.

 

[edger]

I have friends heading for this situation now. In sh1t marriages, depressed and unhappy, and stuck with stroppy, spoilt wives. How to help these guys when they wont help themselves?

From what I've experienced, I can tell you right now, a woman WILL NOT stay in a relationship, become involved with you, or keep you as a f*ck buddy if she's not into you. A woman staying in a relationship, marriage, or getting involved with an AFC guy seems to be a common fallacy on this board among some posters. From my experience, I can tell you, it's never worked like that for me. Never. Never. Never.

So Redline, if these friends of yours were in such "sh*t" marriages(with their wives not being into them), then why are their wives still with them? Because obviously their wives are still INTERESTED in them, regardless if they're AFC.

 

[STR8UP]

I have known and heard of females that brag gleefully and boast of some guy commiting suicide over her. Isn't this really what these girls are essentially trying to do, destroy the guy?

Jophil you pretty much nailed it. "Adolescent logic", that's spot on.

someone posted an AWESOME link to a pdf about women

http://www.theabsolute.net/minefield/woman.pdf

One of the quotes really stood out to me, because it's actually quite disturbing, but i believed it to be true;

No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a
glow to see him commit suicide for her.

If this isn't enough to give you a different perspective on women, I don't know what is!

 

[grinder]

someone posted an AWESOME link to a pdf about women

http://www.theabsolute.net/minefield/woman.pdf

One of the quotes really stood out to me, because it's actually quite disturbing, but i believed it to be true;



If this isn't enough to give you a different perspective on women, I don't know what is!

That awesome link contains a lot of stuff that sounds like complaining and whining and pissing and moaning.

I’m forgetting which sex is supposed to do this.

This Jim Rohn quote bears repeating once again: Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better.

 

[ketostix]

This Jim Rohn quote bears repeating once again: Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better.

I still wish more women strived to be better..

 

[Interceptor]

Because you're not seeing it from the women's point of view.

They are with the AFC because the AFC is the PROVISIONER.

My experience is the opposite. I can count at least 10 marriages personally in which all women settled with the AFC Provisioner.
And they're staying.

And at least one of them is straying....

 

[ketostix]

Seems like if you are the provisioner you shouldn't be the one that's AFC. Am I missing something here? Does being a provisioner automatically mean you're an AFC?

 

[STR8UP]

That awesome link contains a lot of stuff that sounds like complaining and whining and pissing and moaning.

I’m forgetting which sex is supposed to do this.

This Jim Rohn quote bears repeating once again: Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better.

That's beside the point.

There is more deep, philosophical wisdom about women in that link than I have seen anywhere on the internet.

Of course, some of it you have to take for what it is- humorous.

 

[Interceptor]

Keto, Provisioner is different than being the Provider.

I got this viewpoint from Rollo, that states that a man is supposed to be able to be a Provider, BUT The AFC is only looked upon as a Provisioner.One is a Masculine trait, the other is to be used by a woman for material good, food, clothes, shelter, disposable cash, etc.

It is derogatory term.

Yes, a Provisioner IS AFC, and vice versa.

The way I see it the four main masculine traits are:

Lover

Hunter

Warror

Provider

His Leadership trait can emerge in any one of these areas.

 

[ketostix]

But still you're saying a woman wants a provisioner in a marriage, right?

I don't really see a distinction between being a provider or a provisioner other than the woman gives you other things you want in return or not. In either case you still have to actually provide, and not just have the ability or potential to provide.

If woman didn't want a provisioner they wouldn't pressure a man to be one and yet still stay with him, so I partial agree with grinder, I think it was.

 

[Interceptor]

Well..Keto, a Woman DOES need "Provisions", so do we.But the idea, the notion of a PROVIDER is totally removed from that of a PROVISIONER.


A Provisioner simply provides the basic necessaties, and is thought of as NOTHING ELSE.

A Provider is a masculine Man's inherent trait.

He goes out to hunt for food and shelter.

The provisioner gives up his wages and life to provison, not PROVIDE (as in food, clothes, shelter, but ALSO sex, intimacy, companionship, leadership, etc) for a woman.


Provider= Masculine man. meaning, is respected, and gets Sex.

Provisioner= Chump, being taken for a ride, gets nothing else, but the "satisfaction" of provisioning a woman's lifestyle.

Provider=Good

Provisioner=Bad

 

[Maxtro]

Wow, this is scary stuff. I used to have frequent suicidal thoughts. Back then I was WBAFC (way below average frustrated chump.) The main motivation was that I was so alone. I couldn't foresee a life without women. Originally I had planned to kill myself when I hit 25 if I was still single. Obviously I dropped that plan.

I am more stable now but I still can't imagine a life without a woman. Actually is it possible for a straight man to live alone forever? How many men here can say they will be alright if they never had sex or never kissed a woman again? A life of loneliness isn't worth living. By nature humans are social animals.

It is a very natural belief for men to believe that they need a woman. That is the reason that this board exists.

 

[STR8UP]

I am more stable now but I still can't imagine a life without a woman. Actually is it possible for a straight man to live alone forever? How many men here can say they will be alright if they never had sex or never kissed a woman again? A life of loneliness isn't worth living. By nature humans are social animals.

That's why I'm gonna enjoy myself as much as possible for the next ten years, then I'm gonna hit up either SE Asia or eastern Europe and stuff a hot little 25 yr old sex toy in my suitcase

 

[ketostix]

Well..Keto, a Woman DOES need "Provisions", so do we.But the idea, the notion of a PROVIDER is totally removed from that of a PROVISIONER.


A Provisioner simply provides the basic necessaties, and is thought of as NOTHING ELSE.

A Provider is a masculine Man's inherent trait.

He goes out to hunt for food and shelter.

The provisioner gives up his wages and life to provison, not PROVIDE (as in food, clothes, shelter, but ALSO sex, intimacy, companionship, leadership, etc) for a woman.


Provider= Masculine man. meaning, is respected, and gets Sex.

Provisioner= Chump, being taken for a ride, gets nothing else, but the "satisfaction" of provisioning a woman's lifestyle.

Provider=Good

Provisioner=Bad

Still what do women want, a provider or a provisioner? It would seem like if women wanted providers instead of provisioners they would facilitate him being a provider and stop trying to force a man into a provisioner. They stay with provisioners because that's what they want. No?

 

[Luthor Rex]

I told some friends once that "oneitis" and "AFCness" (I explained the terms) are the cause of many deaths, injuries, and fights.

Guys commit suicide all the time over women; guys get in bar fights over trampy women who will be 500 pounds and b-tchy in the near future.

It's amazing the damage American society and hollywood has done to the American man. It's really, really sick and sad.

If positive masculinity was re-asserted in our culture, this **** would go away overnight.

But women will fight it because it means we'd judge them on more than just being a hot piece of azz. Their empowerment and their cultural regime would be usurped.

A culture of positive masculinity would leave a lot of women alone and out in the cold.

:crackup:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Wow, this is scary stuff. I used to have frequent suicidal thoughts. Back then I was WBAFC (way below average frustrated chump.) The main motivation was that I was so alone. I couldn't foresee a life without women. Originally I had planned to kill myself when I hit 25 if I was still single. Obviously I dropped that plan.

I am more stable now but I still can't imagine a life without a woman. Actually is it possible for a straight man to live alone forever? How many men here can say they will be alright if they never had sex or never kissed a woman again? A life of loneliness isn't worth living. By nature humans are social animals.

It is a very natural belief for men to believe that they need a woman. That is the reason that this board exists.

This is the lonley old man myth.

This notion is one of the biggest AFC rationale ever perpetrated on men. Is lonelines a disease that necessitates a cure? Precious few men ever truly allow themselves to be alone and learn real independence and self-reliance. The vast majority of guys (particularly in western culture) tend to transition from mother to wife with little or no intermission between, going from LTR to LTR until they 'settle' without ever having learned how to interact as an adult.

The fear of loneliness is entirely too exaggerated in modern western romaticism. The popularized fear-mythology of becoming the "lonely old man who never loved" is the new 'old maid' myth made popular in an era when a woman's worth was dependent upon her marital status and equally as false a premise. But in generation AFC, men (who've become women) have this repackaged and are shamed into believing this horsesh!t as part & parcel of feminized gender role reversal. And thus we get Speed Dating and eHarmony and a host of other "conveniences" to pacify the insecurities that this reversal makes for poor, fatherless boys who believe they'd better find someone, ANYONE, before a certain age or risk a lifetime of loneliness untill they wither away in old age.

Don't buy into the powder-puff idea that if you don't find your ONE by the time you're 30 and ASAP you'll tempt fate and risk a life of quiet desperation. This contrivance only serves the interests of women who's imperative it is to enjoy their party years in their 20's with as many Jerks as they can attract and have a stable Nice Guy who's petrified he'll live a life of loneliness and desperation waiting for them at 28-30 to marry and ensure their long term security.

Don't buy this lie. The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it. How you handle being alone and what you do with that freedom and the opportunities it provides is the real measure of a man.

The reason I post here at all is because I believe the effort I put out in order to free Men's (and women's) heads of damaging ideologies is worth it if it saves a life. I mean that literally. Whether it means preventing an immediate suicide or a slow death in an AFC marriage, so be it. MAXTRO is a prime example of this. Obviously you CAN live without a woman - you've been doing it long enough now. But it's exactly this midset that killed my brother-in-law; he couldn't live without his ONE. I'm not saying my sister-in-law was blameless, but my focus is on his ONEitis mental disorder.

The fundamental delusion that all AFCs entertain is the fallacy of the ONE. They are predisposed (and pre-whipped) to ONEitis even when they are still dateless virgins. I realize this runs contrary to the popular belief that ONEitis is an all-consuming concern to identify with one solitary woman. This presumes the AFC is in an LTR of some kind with an actual subject to base his ONEitis on. This is really only one half of the equation. AFCs are predisposed to ONEitis before they stumble into an LTR. Essentially they prepare themselves to identify wholesale with what feminized society tells them is their responsibility as a man to do.


On Provisioning/Providing
As much as I'd like to make a distinction between these terms, that really wasn't my intent. Provisioning sounds negative in the sense that it seems associated with something (resources) being taken, whereas Providing sounds benificent and responsible, and seems associated with willful giving. OK, fine, I really hadn't marked it that way, but I suppose it works. However, regardless of the semantics of it, a man is seen as a resource for security for women in the long term. How his status as a resource is appreciated by that woman is the real distinction that's at issue.

 

[WestCoaster]

Great post Rollo, very insightful. This theory is something that's not out their to the masses, that's for sure.

Example of this ... one of my college roommates, great guy, still one of my best friends even though he lives 500 miles away. I've known him for 20+ years.

When he graduated from high school he went to the community college in his hometown (good move) and lived at home (bad move). He then transferred to the college I was attending and lived with others (good move). Upon graduation he moved back to his hometown and with mom and dad (bad move). He lived there until he got married ... you know where this is heading.

After 10+ years of marriage, probably 15, he tells me his wife is filing for divorce. I don't know the dynamics of it (I was never super impressed with her), but I do know my friend never learned independence. Last time I brought up the "home front" I received no reply. I'm really not sure what the guy will do, he's had a mom or surrogate mom his entire life. Sad, really.

 

[Maxtro]

Ok I'm stuck then. How am I supposed to believe that I can live my life alone? As I have mentioned many times on this forum, I am 26 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I've only kissed one girl and I've never had sex with somebody I had an interest in. I am alone and I am not happy.

This semester I've had 3 girls that I've considered as prospects. I actually went out with one of them. But after the date, which I thought went really well, she broke all contact with me and I haven't seen her since. The other two girls are in relationships. Even though one of them is in an LDR, I know that I don't have the skills necessary for any of them to be attracted to me. I know that those girls have no interest in me at all. So all 3 prospects have dried up and I have no hope at all of getting a girl this year.

So now here I am down and depressed. Thinking that the future holds nothing for me. I know I will meet more women. But then I'm scared that none of them will like me and this whole fvcking cycle repeats itself. I am so tired of going after girls and failing. It's very hard to keep trying when one has had no success. At what point should I give up?

Is there any way to become happy and somehow remove my desire for a woman? The only time I am even remotely happy is when I am around women. But the buzz I normally get isn't as strong any more. The things that I used to enjoy just don't really matter any more. The only thing that has mattered for me for the past few months was getting a girl.