advice needed to find a younger woman efficiently

[alleycat]

Hello friends,
I need your advice please.
What would you do if you were a male in his mid-50's who is in good shape, trim, attractive, wealthy, and interested in meeting a woman in her 20s or 30s to spoil with international travel, opera and theater, fine dining, etc.?
I know a lot of women don't want guys that much older, but there have got to be some who want that kind of scenario, especially if the man can take them on trips around the world and help them financially.
Please do NOT suggest websites like Seeking Arrangement, SugarDaddy.com, etc. I've tried them and they are absolutely inundated with scammers and fake profiles.
Also please don't suggest traditional dating venues like Match, eHarmony, or Tinder. Nearly all of the younger women on these sites are looking for men in their age range. Plus I don't want my photo public. (I work in a high-profile job in a conservative profession).
Finally, I'm not interested in and don't have the time to go to bars, gyms, yoga classes, cooking classes, Spanish classes, etc, to start conversing with much younger women to see if, by some remote chance, she'd be interested in dating someone much older than she is.
I think I need to find somewhere that I can post an ad that will target a large number of women in their 20s and 30s, without showing my photo. Or some kind of curated dating service that has access to a large pool of women.
I just don't know where that would be. In the past, I could have done this on Craigslist Personals or in the local CityPaper, but those options are no longer in existence.
I'm not getting any younger, and unfortunately I'm not attracted to women in their 40s and 50s.
Thank you for any suggestions. If you have one that actually works you will have changed my life.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Move to South or Central America, I recommend Colombia since they have the best looking women in all of South America.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Sounds like you need a sugar baby, most will be on OLD. Given all your restrictions and lack of time it’s going to be a **** show, the lack of investment of time and the “no face” part of things makes it worse. You’re going to need to sift.

That or try a matchmaking service, how about “The League” since you seem to be well heeled? If not a matchmaker will most likely cost an arm and a leg.

good luck.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

You need to use a fee for service professional match maker. That will run you from 5K to 10K and up depending on the service you choose. Some are as high as 50K to 100K. All of these services charge a high price to successful men and charge the women little to nothing. Why? Myriad men in your shoes want a much younger woman, and few truly hot on the ball young women want a partner their father’s age. Most want a similar aged young man to build a life with, have a family with, grow old together with.

So the women can afford to be choosy because these services are man heavy. Now. I don’t care who you are or what your preferences are. You do you. And I know couples where the two people met under non organic scenarios. I have one friend who married a much younger mail order Russian bride. She is intelligent and beautiful. I know a happily married couple who met 20 years ago on Its Just Lunch (which is a service that does charge the woman a substantial amount as well as the man). The wife is gorgeous and the man a well educated PhD.

I know a very successful man who married a former exotic dancer and turns out she is a remarkable wife & mother…

It is going to require some level of effort to find & meet the sort of girl you imagine. And you are going to need to be attractive enough to keep such a girl.

I have been approached countless times by much older men in my life. Fabulously wealthy (100s of millions net worth) a handful of times, but typically millionaires of some sort. I turn them down, now as well as in the past. Why? Because a 20+ year age gap means at some point the likelihood is that he’s going to be too old to remain virile, fit, & attractive. I took the long view. Currently I’m 53. I look 35. Men who are 65 and older simply are NOT sexy to me. I run circles around them energetically and sexually. I had the foresight to understand this all my life & I’m seeing it play out just as I imagined.

My fiancé is 45. Eight years younger. And he looks great (looks like a surfer, tall, trim, fit, handsome). But people assume I’m younger than him. It’s funny.

The high end matchmaking services are likely your best bet. It’s pay to play obviously but if you want someone serious that is your best shot for getting exactly what you want. You otherwise are going to have to make an effort somewhere socially. George Clooney met his wife at an exclusive charity function for example. The other thing the more exclusive matching services offer is vetting someone for class & poise. You are unlikely to find that in any but the most exclusive venues or clubs.

You need to figure out also what is most important to you. I know a rich physician in Orange County who owns a yacht and is around our age. He dates 21 year old eye candy. I see him with a new chick almost at every event we both attend. His girls are hot but crass and do not have class or poise. He cycles through them endlessly. He’s attractive & in shape. He just shrugs his shoulders at their lewd behavior. Just part of it he asserts. He doesn’t care how they reflect on him. And those are his values & his choices.

So your values (what is most important above all else) is going to drive your strategy.

And there are men here who meet 20 somethings on Tinder & Bumble too who are mid 40s and up.

Determine exactly what kind of woman you require & let that drive your game plan. Simply wholesale eliminating entire categories of venues to meet people is perhaps shortsighted. You could meet someone anywhere. I met my fiancé out randomly one night after the guy I was dating went utterly sideways. I was single for all of an hour or two. And I met my partner that fast. So you never know when or where.

Adjust your closed minded attitude and be open. Beautiful women are everywhere.

 

[alleycat]

Thanks everybody and especially to you, BeExcellent - your response was the most helpful and I'll look into engaging a high-end matchmaking service. But are there any that are known to be reliable? I've read horror stories about It's Just Lunch and some of the other services.

Pierce.Manhammer, thanks but I don't understand what you mean by "Sounds like you need a sugar baby, most will be on OLD."

 

[Baibars]

I don’t understand why you want to spoil a local young girl. Why don’t you travel abroad for younger girls? You don’t need to spend much on them and you will have a good time.

 

[alleycat]

I don’t understand why you want to spoil a local young girl. Why don’t you travel abroad for younger girls? You don’t need to spend much on them and you will have a good time.

Where are you thinking in particular? Zimbabwe mentioned Central/South America, but most of the girls there are relatively short, and I want a tallish girl (at least 5'7", and yes I know I'm further limiting my chances).

 

[Baibars]

Where are you thinking in particular? Zimbabwe mentioned Central/South America, but most of the girls there are relatively short, and I want a tallish girl (at least 5'7", and yes I know I'm further limiting my chances).

there are several African/Asian countries and I don’t think those women would be more shallow than local women you’re planning to spoil. They will be even better. Travel and enjoy your life instead of being a sugar girl for western girls.

 

[BeExcellent]

If you prefer tall and beautiful then Eastern Europe is good. Also Nordic women although they do tend to be more liberal minded.

If you are an athletic sort take up volleyball or sand volleyball. It’s fun & social & is ideally suited to tall athletic women…many of whom are young & attractive.

I’ve heard decent things about The League. I have a acquaintance who is a pro matchmaker in the desert southwest. She is always looking for quality women to match with her stable of men. Search in your area for exclusive match making services. Interview them. Expect a sales pitch. Read reviews with a grain of salt. Why? Some people have utterly unreasonable expectations and their perceptions and opinions reflect this…part of why successful men end up single is that can be too demanding or unreasonable. Difficult. Know it all. No great woman wants to deal with that.

So be real about your attitudes & expectations. An open minded stance will get you much further than an entitled stance.

 

[alleycat]

@BeExcellent - thanks again. Your thoughts make a lot of sense, and I'm trying to keep them in mind when I read the reviews of pro matchmaker services in my area. There seem to be 8-10 services, and each of them gets some scathing reviews ("scammers", "crooks","liars" etc.) I guess the clients who don't find someone who meets their expectations (which as you say, may well be unrealistic) are furious that they paid $10K, $40K, $60K with nothing to show for it. Still, it's difficult to give these agencies the benefit of the doubt when so much money is at stake, and to start to wonder how many of the positive reviews are actually planted by the firms themselves.

 

[SW15]

I think I need to find somewhere that I can post an ad that will target a large number of women in their 20s and 30s, without showing my photo.

This isn't realistic. You need to show a photo if you aren't doing in-person approaching.

You need to use a fee for service professional match maker. That will run you from 5K to 10K and up depending on the service you choose. Some are as high as 50K to 100K.

The high end matchmaking services are likely your best bet. It’s pay to play obviously but if you want someone serious that is your best shot for getting exactly what you want.

The matchmaker channel is the only channel available if you don't want to publicly display your pictures and don't want to do in-person approaching. Matchmakers are rarely discussed in SoSuave forums. I don't think a lot of men end up using them. Many of the men that do end up using matchmakers end up having a poor experience.

You otherwise are going to have to make an effort somewhere socially. George Clooney met his wife at an exclusive charity function for example. The other thing the more exclusive matching services offer is vetting someone for class & poise. You are unlikely to find that in any but the most exclusive venues or clubs.

You need to figure out also what is most important to you. I know a rich physician in Orange County who owns a yacht and is around our age. He dates 21 year old eye candy. I see him with a new chick almost at every event we both attend. His girls are hot but crass and do not have class or poise. He cycles through them endlessly. He’s attractive & in shape. He just shrugs his shoulders at their lewd behavior. Just part of it he asserts. He doesn’t care how they reflect on him. And those are his values & his choices.

Online dating gained popularity because making an effort socially is often a total pain. So a lot of people think that by screening online, they'll end up saving time. Online dating in the last 25 years has rarely been a time saver for men but more of a time suck. There are few shortcuts in dating & in relationships. Many men waste years of their life learning that.

If you are an athletic sort take up volleyball or sand volleyball. It’s fun & social & is ideally suited to tall athletic women…many of whom are young & attractive.

I did this (sand volleyball) during the mid-2010s when in my early 30s. I find tall, athletic women attractive, which is problematic when you are only 5'10". It wasn't the most efficient use of my time but there were worse ways to spend time.

I can't imagine a man over 40 doing this.

 

[Epimanes]

The only efficient way to find a much younger woman is to have a fat wallet.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'm not getting any younger, and unfortunately I'm not attracted to women in their 40s and 50s.

Unfortunately? No, I would say that your preference is, in fact, quite fortunate.

As to your inquiry, it sounds like you are basically looking for a gold-digger/semi-prostitute. There is definitely a subset of younger, attractive women who would be interested in dating a rich older guy. Many of those women also do escorting part-time, just FYI. You really have two options if you want to meet those types of women.

One, you have to be plugged into the lifestyle that attracts these women. It means going to the right events, parties, etc. I'm assuming that you are not plugged into that lifestyle and that you have no desire or ability to do so ( otherwise you wouldn't be asking your question here).

Your second option is escorts. Because like I said, most of the so-called "sugar babies" do escorting on the side, too. Seems like it would be the most efficient option.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Advice from the old lady:

You need to use a fee for service professional match maker. That will run you from 5K to 10K and up depending on the service you choose. Some are as high as 50K to 100K. All of these services charge a high price to successful men and charge the women little to nothing. Why? Myriad men in your shoes want a much younger woman, and few truly hot on the ball young women want a partner their father’s age. Most want a similar aged young man to build a life with, have a family with, grow old together with.

So the women can afford to be choosy because these services are man heavy.

So you are recommending that he use a service that could cost up to $100K and that is "man heavy" with "choosy" women? Umm, why? There are much cheaper and more efficient ways of accomplishing his objective (which, as I understand it, is to find a prostitute who will also be his travel buddy and dinner date).

 

[Bokanovsky]

Thanks everybody and especially to you, BeExcellent - your response was the most helpful and I'll look into engaging a high-end matchmaking service. But are there any that are known to be reliable? I've read horror stories about It's Just Lunch and some of the other services.

Don't bother. Those services are mostly scams.

 

[alleycat]

@Bokanovsky - you made a light bulb go off in my head! Why should I waste all that time and money looking for a young woman through an online site or an expensive dating agency when I can find escorts immediately, many of whom would be happy to be a sugar baby / travel companion? Like you said, so much more efficient to go the escort route.

P.S. You're correct - I'm not plugged into the lifestyle that attracts these women, so even more reason to do what you suggested. But, I'm curious why you wrote that my preference for younger women "is in fact quite fortunate", given that (a) I'm looking for something that our society frowns upon, and (b) most women want someone in their own age group. How is that a blessing and not a curse?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My experience with younger women is they don’t really care about being ‘spoiled’. My Zoomer ex- thought going to Chipoltle was splurging. The young women I’ve dated were more interested in just hanging out. Getting Starbucks. Watching movies . And Sex. Never even seemed all that into travel.
They want lots of attention. And spending time together. And no ‘dry texting’.
There certainly is the much ballyhooed stereotype of the young lady being spoiled by her older man. I’m sure there is some truth to this. However. Those types of girls seem not attracted to me. Outside of work. i dress very casually & my daily use car is nothing special.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Op: I see you’ve figured out what a sugar baby is - basically a woman that exchanges her companionship/sexual favors for a “generous gentleman”, as they like to say.

If you’re ok with pay for play, which is an antithesis to the prevalent mindset here, I’d simply make sure you’re showing your success ina physical way: clothing, haircut, shoes and venues, get out there to high end venues, the gals who would be open to what you’re offering will find you.

I knew a woman who I dated years back and I simply wouldn’t commit my time or resources to who popped on a matchmaking service after I let her down (she was late 40’s) and dated guys - she last I heard is about to shack up with a guy she dated off the service for a couple years. I’ve heard it’s good for women, not so good for men.

The best of luck.

 

[BeExcellent]

So you are recommending that he use a service that could cost up to $100K and that is "man heavy" with "choosy" women? Umm, why? There are much cheaper and more efficient ways of accomplishing his objective (which, as I understand it, is to find a prostitute who will also be his travel buddy and dinner date).

Not recommending per se. But if privacy is a concern in addition to his other requirements and money is no object? Why not? All you need is one chick for the role of life partner.

Rich guys spend high sums of money on cars & other unnecessary items all the time. Investment in a partner is just that; an investment. No shame in seeing it that way.

 

[behimo]

I recommend strip clubs. If you look good, have money and convey confidence in your speech and body language I'm sure you can find a young woman to date.