Zul'Gin
New Member
Hello to you all
My very first post here at SS, though I consider myself as a "passive" member since 2006.
Let’s get down to business shall we?
The thing is I just don't know how to proceed with this girl at work. We are not close partners and we hardly see each other during the week.
I've been working at this company for 8 months now as an outsourcing. I recently started getting closer to this girl i.e. (saying hello whenever I see her etc.)
Several weeks ago I received a Facebook Friend Request from her and I was like: "Yeah! Something’s up with this girl".
At the end of July her b-day was coming, and one day I came across to her, small talked to her and asked her if she was going to do something for her b-day. She said yes and asked me if I wanted to come to her party. Of course I accepted her invitation.
Her party was a Friday night and I think the overall outcome was pretty positive. I got along well with her best friend, a girl who works with her. I think this is a major plus. I thought this was going to be an outward moment since it was the first time we saw each other outside work.
After that Friday night a whole week passed by, no contact at all. I found out that she was on vacation. Next week after that, I got to talk to her via company's messenger.
I like to use C & F, it seems natural on me, but don't like to overdo it. She seems a little bit shy with her responses. She does not write a lot also. I don't want to smother her either.
Anyway, last Thursday I managed to ask her out (via messenger), AND MAYBE I THINK THIS IS WHERE I DID WRONG: I asked her if she wanted to join me at the mall, have a little walk around and watch a movie later ("Despicable Me").
Firstly I asked if she was free that day and she replied yes, so that's why I asked her to join me. She said it sounded good, but minutes later she told me it was going to be difficult for her because she was going to the gym.
I think maybe she just freaked out. Maybe a more casual date could have been better, and less pushy?
Her response hit me hard in the head because moments earlier she told she was doing nothing!!
Ok, I said "No worries" and ended the conversation.
Next day in the afternoon, she came by my cubicle, says hi and brought the stylus spare for my Nokia cell phone (this was discussed in our early chats during the week). I told her I'll pay for it next week (i.e. this current week); she said “no worries and take it as a gift”, she then went away.
At that moment I was a feeling a little bit down because she had declined my invitation.
Minutes later I wrote to her saying thanks for the stylus, fitted perfectly on my Nokia and that I was going to pay for it. At that moment I just wanted to ditch this girl....
Well, she then replied by saying that, I could buy her a drink instead of the money. Could this be taken as a counter offer from her, trying to reestablish a connection?
Attraction is not a choice, and I don’t want to force anyone to like me….
My gut feeling is telling me that her IL is not that high enough…
FYI,
I am the one who always start the conversations.
She doesn't write much.
I ask for your advice on this one, what do you recommend? Is this a lost case; am I over thinking this stuff? Should I give her a last chance by asking her out again?
Please don't tell me I shouldn't date a coworker, that's a risk I'm willing to take
Plus I will not work here forever!
Thanks in advance for your inputs.
I don't know if I explained myself clear enough!! Feel free to ask.
Zul' Gin!
My very first post here at SS, though I consider myself as a "passive" member since 2006.
Let’s get down to business shall we?
The thing is I just don't know how to proceed with this girl at work. We are not close partners and we hardly see each other during the week.
I've been working at this company for 8 months now as an outsourcing. I recently started getting closer to this girl i.e. (saying hello whenever I see her etc.)
Several weeks ago I received a Facebook Friend Request from her and I was like: "Yeah! Something’s up with this girl".
At the end of July her b-day was coming, and one day I came across to her, small talked to her and asked her if she was going to do something for her b-day. She said yes and asked me if I wanted to come to her party. Of course I accepted her invitation.
Her party was a Friday night and I think the overall outcome was pretty positive. I got along well with her best friend, a girl who works with her. I think this is a major plus. I thought this was going to be an outward moment since it was the first time we saw each other outside work.
After that Friday night a whole week passed by, no contact at all. I found out that she was on vacation. Next week after that, I got to talk to her via company's messenger.
I like to use C & F, it seems natural on me, but don't like to overdo it. She seems a little bit shy with her responses. She does not write a lot also. I don't want to smother her either.
Anyway, last Thursday I managed to ask her out (via messenger), AND MAYBE I THINK THIS IS WHERE I DID WRONG: I asked her if she wanted to join me at the mall, have a little walk around and watch a movie later ("Despicable Me").
Firstly I asked if she was free that day and she replied yes, so that's why I asked her to join me. She said it sounded good, but minutes later she told me it was going to be difficult for her because she was going to the gym.
I think maybe she just freaked out. Maybe a more casual date could have been better, and less pushy?
Her response hit me hard in the head because moments earlier she told she was doing nothing!!
Ok, I said "No worries" and ended the conversation.
Next day in the afternoon, she came by my cubicle, says hi and brought the stylus spare for my Nokia cell phone (this was discussed in our early chats during the week). I told her I'll pay for it next week (i.e. this current week); she said “no worries and take it as a gift”, she then went away.
At that moment I was a feeling a little bit down because she had declined my invitation.
Minutes later I wrote to her saying thanks for the stylus, fitted perfectly on my Nokia and that I was going to pay for it. At that moment I just wanted to ditch this girl....
Well, she then replied by saying that, I could buy her a drink instead of the money. Could this be taken as a counter offer from her, trying to reestablish a connection?
Attraction is not a choice, and I don’t want to force anyone to like me….
My gut feeling is telling me that her IL is not that high enough…
FYI,
I am the one who always start the conversations.
She doesn't write much.
I ask for your advice on this one, what do you recommend? Is this a lost case; am I over thinking this stuff? Should I give her a last chance by asking her out again?
Please don't tell me I shouldn't date a coworker, that's a risk I'm willing to take
Plus I will not work here forever!Thanks in advance for your inputs.
I don't know if I explained myself clear enough!! Feel free to ask.
Zul' Gin!
