Admitting that you’re an inexperienced guy in your OLD bio

[AureliusMaximus]

Unless they specifically ask about it, DON'T mention it

There is no point of mentioning it in the first place.

 

[2Rocky]

OP Start with ONS's...it's like working day job's until you land a career. They are the learning and proving ground for Social Adeptness and Sexual advances. If it crashes and burns, you are not emotionally invested over weeks and months. Remember Easy come, Easy go.

As for lack of Relationship experience, you "just haven't been in a place in my life where long romantic relationships were an option." Because you : Moved too much, concentrated on your career, took care of your family, etc. All GOOD things...

Your social comfort in the discussion will tell the other person all about you. You aren't going to hide it. So don't try. Your confidence and Self Respect will make you attractive enough to women.

 

[needimprovement250]

Agreed. Dont talk about this

There is no point of mentioning it in the first place.

I obviously would never bring it up, and asking about putting it in a OLD bio wasn’t a serious question as I already said. But what about when she asks you? From all the stories I read from inexperienced guys on Reddit, most of them said that they were asked about their past relationships/dating history by the 3rd date. Some even said that they tried to give vague answers or play it off in a witty way and change the subject, but the girls were pretty persistent and wouldn’t let it go. So they just gave in and revealed that they had no experience and that’s where it ended, all of them got ghosted after that. It seems like women asking about a man’s past relationships/dating history is a pretty common thing these days.

 

[needimprovement250]

The 30 y.o virgin went on a date and started asking her questions like " when was your last LTr"?.

An experienced dude goes on a date with the same woman and never mentions his past nor does he asks for hers. If she pushes the issue he'll either give vague answers, or be smart enough to make it look like he was the one who ended it. He wont say he's been cheated on the last 5 relationships or something like that.

The experienced dude will go through phase 1( introduction phase) without revealing too much. Just a fun playfull date with some flirting and kino involved. Then move to phase 2(kissing ect) and ofcourse the third phase, sleeping with her.

Your past ect, all this MIGHT be pillowtalk. Even then I would be cautious about it .

So the 30 y.o virging basically lacks the ability to sell himself. He's been programmed to be honest and open. Which is crazy because he didn't got the results he wanted, yet he seems unable to switch up his strategy. The definition of insanity.

The 30 year old virgins whose stories I saw on Reddit were all asked by women about their past relationships and revealed that they had never been in one and also revealed that they were still virgins if that was also the case with them. They didn’t bring it up and volunteer that info about themselves.

 

[needimprovement250]

The 30 y.o virgin went on a date and started asking her questions like " when was your last LTr"?.

An experienced dude goes on a date with the same woman and never mentions his past nor does he asks for hers. If she pushes the issue he'll either give vague answers, or be smart enough to make it look like he was the one who ended it. He wont say he's been cheated on the last 5 relationships or something like that.

The experienced dude will go through phase 1( introduction phase) without revealing too much. Just a fun playfull date with some flirting and kino involved. Then move to phase 2(kissing ect) and ofcourse the third phase, sleeping with her.

Your past ect, all this MIGHT be pillowtalk. Even then I would be cautious about it .

So the 30 y.o virging basically lacks the ability to sell himself. He's been programmed to be honest and open. Which is crazy because he didn't got the results he wanted, yet he seems unable to switch up his strategy. The definition of insanity.

Yeah, I lost my virginity at 28. It wasn't that big a deal in 2003. The girl (26 at the time) was super cool about it.



While there is a decent amount of truth to the above, you really should not dwell on that.

You are worried about what is on the roof, but you haven't climbed up a rung on the ladder yet. Think baby steps instead.

1. Don't mention the inexperience thing. See if you can get a chick to meet up with you for a drink.

2. You might only get a conversation and then ghosted or friendzoned. It's ok.

3. Might get to a makeout with the next chick.

4. Might get the next chick's shirt off at her place.

And so forth... Build up (or rebuild) your experience "portfolio" over time. Even if it takes six months or year to get back in the sack.

TLDR: It's definitely still possible for you, but it's probably not going to be 0-60 in 3.2s.

Your 4 points that you made are all solid, my biggest concern is still the chance of being asked by a girl about my past relationships and dating history since I’ve read stories of guys being asked about that and her instantly losing interest in him after finding out. I have a bad feeling that my natural reaction is gonna be to get very defensive and refuse to tell her anything, and that comes from me just anticipating the rejection that’s probably about to happen, so the defensiveness would come from frustration.

 

[needimprovement250]

I think what's bothering the OP is he didn't lose his virginity through a relationship, he lost it in an ONS. The end result is the same, but the way he got there is tough.

But I don't get it, if OP was smooth enough to get a girl 7 years ago, why didn't he just pull the same formula on a different girl in the last 2,555 days?

So its either OP doesn't want sex, he wants a woman to love and respect him and nurture him, which doesn't work, or OP got into an accident after the ONS and doesn't look great.

What’s really bothering me is that I feel like I’m stuck in a catch-22 where I’m just gonna get rejected at every turn for having no experience, which I can’t get without having experience in the first place. I’m not really bothered by the fact that I lost my virginity in a ONS, I wanted it gone and I was able to get rid of it thanks to that.

But you see, that girl came onto me and asked me out before I could even shoot my shot. She pretty much did everything for me and I didn’t have to put in much effort. Now I don’t have the mindset that it should always happen that way for me, I’m self aware enough to know that was pretty much a fluke. So there was no formula I used and I’ve actually never gotten a girl, at 29 I’ve still never even asked a girl out, not once. I even told some incels that one time and even they said wtf why have you never even tried to ask anyone out? I do want sex, but it wasn’t until I finally had sex that I realized how much porn can affect your sexual performance. I had a lot of difficulty performing because I’m so psychologically hardwired to porn that real sex doesn’t do it for me, and I still can’t manage to quit despite knowing this.

 

[needimprovement250]

OP Start with ONS's...it's like working day job's until you land a career. They are the learning and proving ground for Social Adeptness and Sexual advances. If it crashes and burns, you are not emotionally invested over weeks and months. Remember Easy come, Easy go.

As for lack of Relationship experience, you "just haven't been in a place in my life where long romantic relationships were an option." Because you : Moved too much, concentrated on your career, took care of your family, etc. All GOOD things...

Your social comfort in the discussion will tell the other person all about you. You aren't going to hide it. So don't try. Your confidence and Self Respect will make you attractive enough to women.

I agree with a lot of what you said, but the problem is that I have no career and I still live at home with my parents, so I would have to think of different things to say other than that. But those things are another reason why I don’t even actively try to date, living with my parents and having no career is definitely gonna hurt my chances too. Not that I would bring a girl back to my parents house to hook up, but that isn’t even an option anyway because ever since my dad retired, he’s pretty much become a hermit. So I never have the house to myself because he hardly ever leaves the house anymore

 

[needimprovement250]

Its not the same type of stigma though? Any stigma in 2022 is feminist indoctrination and shaming. There is another thread on here that talked about a guy getting the police called on him for saying hello to a lady. Did you read that thread? Its really toxic right now and when everything becomes a stigma, I think the meaning of it loses it's intrinsic value, especially if the volume is over 30%...then its a systemic problem contributing to the eventual decline and ruin of society rather than a stigma. Its really tough out there and I think you should not internalize feminist concepts because they send mixed messages where you are always a loser no matter what you do.

What is the difference in your head between inexperience and a long dry spell? Think about it this way, pretend you lost your virginity like 10 years ago, what difference would that make to you today? You just have some checkmark? All your problems with women are solved?

You just become an incel who lost his virginity 10 years ago, with a 10 year dry-spell. See, no difference?

Yeah I saw that thread, I couldn’t believe it. That’s why I feel like a lot of guys are afraid to cold approach or do other in-person pickup methods these days. It really is becoming a pretty big problem though, 30% is a good sized chunk of the male population and I have a bad feeling that number is gonna continue to climb, imagine how much society will deteriorate if that number ever reaches 50% or close to it.

As for what I see the difference is, I think that after 3 sexual encounters you’re no longer inexperienced and you can just call it a dry spell. Any less than 3 and you’re still inexperienced, but that’s just my opinion.

 

[adanricci]

this will attract women who are sharks and will fuck your life up

 

[corrector]

Yeah I saw that thread, I couldn’t believe it. That’s why I feel like a lot of guys are afraid to cold approach or do other in-person pickup methods these days. It really is becoming a pretty big problem though, 30% is a good sized chunk of the male population and I have a bad feeling that number is gonna continue to climb, imagine how much society will deteriorate if that number ever reaches 50% or close to it.

It will hit 50% closer than you think. A jump from even 5 to 30% is like 6 times compared to a jump that is just over 50% right?

As for what I see the difference is, I think that after 3 sexual encounters you’re no longer inexperienced and you can just call it a dry spell. Any less than 3 and you’re still inexperienced, but that’s just my opinion.

Right, but what I'm saying is that experience with a dry-spell, lets say it's a very long dry spell, is not that different than inexperience.

Also in terms of women evaluating you for LTRs, a sexual encounter is not relationship experience. In fact, even I have too limited relationship experience myself as I never had a relationship last longer than 9 months, including when a wedding and marriage was involved and it felt too rushed and ended abruptely or just badly. Sexual encounters are too fleeting and they fade from your mind when you see the daily reality of how women are still treating you, which is exactly the same and a number of years pass by. It just comes like some weak checkmark.

What I'm saying is you don't want to put too much value on some weak checkmark that won't mean anything in a few years anyway, and won't even score points with women who are interested in LTRs as that wouldn't even be proper experience they are looking for. Relationship experience is a different kettle of fish and that requires the skills to get along with someone after the Honeymoon phase of the relationship is over and you start getting tired of each other and getting into fights, etc... how you start navigating that. What are you limits? This type of thing. A sexual encounter is a joke.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Hell No

 

[2Rocky]

I agree with a lot of what you said, but the problem is that I have no career and I still live at home with my parents, so I would have to think of different things to say other than that. But those things are another reason why I don’t even actively try to date, living with my parents and having no career is definitely gonna hurt my chances too. Not that I would bring a girl back to my parents house to hook up, but that isn’t even an option anyway because ever since my dad retired, he’s pretty much become a hermit. So I never have the house to myself because he hardly ever leaves the house anymore

Then your #1 priority is working on that part. You don't have NO Career, You are focusing on moving up in it. I don't care if it is a minimum wage part time job, or two of them. Develop cash flow from working 40 hours per week is your first step.
You might start with a temp agency and go day by day, but do SOMETHING!

As for having the house to yourself.... Do you think your father/parents NOT WANT you to not have a romantic /social /sex life? Newsflash, they had sex to have you. They know what is up. Have some self respect, and talk to them, explaining that a female friend is coming to visit you, and that you would appreciate some space when she does. Above all be respectful, since it is their house. Let them know that if something develops with a certain young lady, you will introduce her. Don't hide them or diminish the fact it is their house. You are fortunate to have parents still alive

If it is an ONS, you tell her "I'm in town visiting my parents, staying in the spare bedroom downstairs".
If it is a girl you are developing a relationship with, you are "Helping out my elderly parents, by staying with them. They've had some health issues." and leave it at that.

I'm going to pm you a couple videos that have some good guidance for young men who are adrift, lacking purpose. I hope you can find some direction.

 

[needimprovement250]

this will attract women who are sharks and will **** your life up

Good point, the brother of my soon to be brother in law actually just recently got his first real gf at 31 and he broke up with her about a week ago after he found out that she was just using him and she was also still hooking up with her ex. So that definitely can happen, women like that can see you as an easy target because they might think that the fact that you’ve never been with a woman could make it easy to take advantage of you by simply just providing the companionship and sexual intimacy that he’s been without for so long.

 

[needimprovement250]

It will hit 50% closer than you think. A jump from even 5 to 30% is like 6 times compared to a jump that is just over 50% right?



Right, but what I'm saying is that experience with a dry-spell, lets say it's a very long dry spell, is not that different than inexperience.

Also in terms of women evaluating you for LTRs, a sexual encounter is not relationship experience. In fact, even I have too limited relationship experience myself as I never had a relationship last longer than 9 months, including when a wedding and marriage was involved and it felt too rushed and ended abruptely or just badly. Sexual encounters are too fleeting and they fade from your mind when you see the daily reality of how women are still treating you, which is exactly the same and a number of years pass by. It just comes like some weak checkmark.

What I'm saying is you don't want to put too much value on some weak checkmark that won't mean anything in a few years anyway, and won't even score points with women who are interested in LTRs as that wouldn't even be proper experience they are looking for. Relationship experience is a different kettle of fish and that requires the skills to get along with someone after the Honeymoon phase of the relationship is over and you start getting tired of each other and getting into fights, etc... how you start navigating that. What are you limits? This type of thing. A sexual encounter is a joke.

That’s true, and things might get really ugly in society when its officially documented that half of the male population is getting laid while the other half is sexless.

Yeah I’ve actually read posts online from women who have said that relationship experience is more important to them than sexual experience if that’s what she’s looking for and what the guy is looking for too. Have you ever been rejected by women for having limited relationship experience? While I do have limited sexual experience, I have zero relationship experience and its definitely a concern that it could make it harder to find a relationship. You might be right about sexual experience being less significant because every woman likes different things in bed and what worked for one woman might not work for the next. You also can’t buy relationship experience either, you can at least buy sexual experience through escorts, but relationship experience has to be earned by getting into relationships.

 

[needimprovement250]

Then your #1 priority is working on that part. You don't have NO Career, You are focusing on moving up in it. I don't care if it is a minimum wage part time job, or two of them. Develop cash flow from working 40 hours per week is your first step.
You might start with a temp agency and go day by day, but do SOMETHING!

As for having the house to yourself.... Do you think your father/parents NOT WANT you to not have a romantic /social /sex life? Newsflash, they had sex to have you. They know what is up. Have some self respect, and talk to them, explaining that a female friend is coming to visit you, and that you would appreciate some space when she does. Above all be respectful, since it is their house. Let them know that if something develops with a certain young lady, you will introduce her. Don't hide them or diminish the fact it is their house. You are fortunate to have parents still alive

If it is an ONS, you tell her "I'm in town visiting my parents, staying in the spare bedroom downstairs".
If it is a girl you are developing a relationship with, you are "Helping out my elderly parents, by staying with them. They've had some health issues." and leave it at that.

I'm going to pm you a couple videos that have some good guidance for young men who are adrift, lacking purpose. I hope you can find some direction.

Well I should’ve mentioned that I’m actually in school for a certification program, but I forgot to. So at least I’m not a total NEET, but I do miss having a cash flow and I do want to figure something out (at least part time) in order to have some money coming in while I work on this certification program.

I don’t know if I really feel comfortable with telling my parents that they need to leave their house so that me and a girl can have sex, and that’s not my only obstacle. My room is not a place that I would EVER want to bring a girl into, I can send you a pic if you wanna see since you PM’ed me. I was thinking that if I had a cash flow again, then I could just get us a room every time I have a chance to hook up that just seems better and easier to me.

 

[corrector]

That’s true, and things might get really ugly in society when its officially documented that half of the male population is getting laid while the other half is sexless.

Yeah I’ve actually read posts online from women who have said that relationship experience is more important to them than sexual experience if that’s what she’s looking for and what the guy is looking for too. Have you ever been rejected by women for having limited relationship experience? While I do have limited sexual experience, I have zero relationship experience and its definitely a concern that it could make it harder to find a relationship. You might be right about sexual experience being less significant because every woman likes different things in bed and what worked for one woman might not work for the next. You also can’t buy relationship experience either, you can at least buy sexual experience through escorts, but relationship experience has to be earned by getting into relationships.

I technically have not been rejected for limited relationship experience. I am not really meeting anyone in the first place and if I have a divorce next to my name then I cant see that as being a cause of rejection. It does not mean I am doing well either, as I have an incel rep like you.

 

[2Rocky]

Well I should’ve mentioned that I’m actually in school for a certification program, but I forgot to. So at least I’m not a total NEET, but I do miss having a cash flow and I do want to figure something out (at least part time) in order to have some money coming in while I work on this certification program.

I don’t know if I really feel comfortable with telling my parents that they need to leave their house so that me and a girl can have sex, and that’s not my only obstacle. My room is not a place that I would EVER want to bring a girl into, I can send you a pic if you wanna see since you PM’ed me. I was thinking that if I had a cash flow again, then I could just get us a room every time I have a chance to hook up that just seems better and easier to me.

You don't need to tell them to leave the house. I never said that. Just introduce them and privaterly ask them nicely that they not hover.

As for your bedroom, a coat of paint, a platform bedframe and a new sheet and comforter set. Bam! Can be the new Guest Room. Get rid of any embarrassing paintings you mentioned, while preserving your parents' ego.

Not sure how handy you are or desire to become, but there is a lot of things you can do to the basement to make it a social space. Perhaps this would be a good project for you and your dad to take on together? As long as you are actively working on improving the space, construction debris is considered a Sexy mess. Social media progress pics actually get people invested in you.

I brought a woman into my house while I had a bare concrete subfloor, no counters, no stove in my kitchen and bare studs. She thought it was hot...

 

[needimprovement250]

I technically have not been rejected for limited relationship experience. I am not really meeting anyone in the first place and if I have a divorce next to my name then I cant see that as being a cause of rejection. It does not mean I am doing well either, as I have an incel rep like you.

We are currently in a pretty similar place then, and it seems like neither of us are really trying to meet anyone right now. Hopefully this won’t hold either of us back when we put ourselves out there.

 

[Kotaix]

Never, ever, give away your flaws or anything you're insecure about. Women should have to pry it out of you.

 

[needimprovement250]

You don't need to tell them to leave the house. I never said that. Just introduce them and privaterly ask them nicely that they not hover.

As for your bedroom, a coat of paint, a platform bedframe and a new sheet and comforter set. Bam! Can be the new Guest Room. Get rid of any embarrassing paintings you mentioned, while preserving your parents' ego.

Not sure how handy you are or desire to become, but there is a lot of things you can do to the basement to make it a social space. Perhaps this would be a good project for you and your dad to take on together? As long as you are actively working on improving the space, construction debris is considered a Sexy mess. Social media progress pics actually get people invested in you.

I brought a woman into my house while I had a bare concrete subfloor, no counters, no stove in my kitchen and bare studs. She thought it was hot...

Oh ok I thought you did say to have them leave, but maybe I just misread that. The problem is that my parents do hover quite a bit, usually I can’t grab my keys without them asking where I’m going and if I leave without them noticing, they’ll usually call/text to see where I went. I also can’t ever be in my room or the backyard for more than 15 mins before they come to see what I’m doing, my mom has even tried to get my to share my phone’s location with her, something that I refuse to do.

I don’t have embarrassing paintings on my wall, but what I do have in my room that is embarrassing is two claw machines, the kind that you would find in an arcade. Years ago, I thought that it could be a good side hustle for me to have those in places like bars or laundromats, but it never worked out and they’ve just been sitting in my room and collecting dust ever since. My parents won’t let me remodel or make any structural or cosmetic changes to my room and my dad has no desire to do any kind of home improvement so I can’t do anything to it. I think just working for hotel money so that I can take a girl to a private place for sex is probably a better idea for me.