Addressing The CWAF's Biggest Fear - Cheating

[Peaks&Valleys]

When your frame is strong, and the attraction is strong enough, you can set all kinds of rules and boundaries.....and she will comply. She will comply because those are your rules, and she wants to be with you.

But then you've stepped into the following realm:

You can say setting boundaries is just a price, or something she needs to know, or being a man, but it's just a less extreme version of hiring a Private Investigator......same lines

(Oops, that was a previous mis-type. I fixed it, in bold.)

No it isn't, and it isn't even remotely similar. I really don't get where you are coming from here.

This is an example of my reasoning:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210879

Come out and say it, Peaks. You do not have any objection if your girl hangs out one on one with other men. If you want to say it is beta to have a problem with that, at least approach the argument from that point, instead of being vague about it.

As I've stated zekko, if she wants to hang out with other men when she has an opportunity to hang out with me, then something's not right in the relationship. I will guide, explain certain things, however I will not forbade them from hanging out with anyone.

My other posts on this subject will answer all of your "you're beta" accusations pertaining to this^ statement.

And again: I never told my girl she couldn't see other men. I told her I didn't have any interest in having a girlfriend who saw other men. I believe that's basically what Danger has been saying all along, too. It's a filtering process. There is a difference there. I don't know why you can't get that through your head.

I got this through my head. You can word it anyway you want.

She wants to be your girlfriend.
She still wants to hang out with other guys.
Which one is most important to her?
You.
So she ditches other guys.

In this scenario, she still wants to hang out with other guys. WANTS.

You could have a 51%-49% lead in the other guys to zekko ratio so she'll pick you. What happens down the line when the percentages flip only a few points?

See my first post in this thread.

I don't understand how any man could argue with this.

Well, there's been quite a few men arguing with this. Did you skip over all of the gazillion arguments? You seem to be a smart guy, but I feel you, and a few others, are being extremely close minded about this. If you really want to know how or why someone could argue with it I bet you could figure it out. You don't have to accept it, but, if you wanted to, I bet you could understand the other poster's POV.

Here are two other threads where we've been "discussing" this topic:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215684
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215338



If your frame and attraction is strong enough you won't need to tell her to not to see other men. And you shouldn't.

"well they're programmed by society to believe they can do that, duh P&V."

Oh, so telling them not to do it, is going to re-program them?

"yeah, all you have to do is tell chicks something and their whole mind set will change, they need to know the boundaries or else they'll cross them."

I have a better idea, try withdrawing your ATTENTION when they do something that crosses a boundary, they'll learn, and they will not want to cross that boundary again. Also, see SgtSplacker's rendition of how his woman learned a lesson on pushing the boundaries of their relationship.

You can have the strongest frame there is, with all the attraction in the world. But the second you tell your woman this: "I don't go exclusive with women that hang out with other guys." You have shown an insecurity.

"but if you have a strong frame it won't matter!"

Yeah, for now, it won't. But that is a chink in the armor. <------truth.

Her mind: Why does he care who I see and don't see? Does he think I'll cheat on him? I wouldn't do that. Why is he beworried that I'll cheat on him?
^doubts start to creep in, as slowly as this may be.

"oh, you're afraid of coming across as insecure or unattractive."

No, I'm breaking down the dynamic. I'm not insecure, that is why I don't say those things. It has nothing to do with the perception. I am simply not insecure when I go into an LTR. If I was at all worried about her seeing other men then I wouldn't go into it. If I felt I had to tell her not to see other guys that I was threatened by, then for more reasons than one, I would not get into the LTR.

"well, chicks will cheat on you all the time, whenever they get the chance, you won't know!"

This is where you're wrong.

Bull$hit. I have fvked tons of taken girls who were goddamned class A actresses right in front of their boyfriends. They could have won Academy Awards. And these are not "rare" because I can think of almost ten right off the rip.

Either you're full of $hit here, or you're telling the truth. Either way, our mind sets are on complete opposite spectrums, and I believe we have different ways of qualifying women that we bring into our lives. So your projections on my relationships are incorrect.

Also, I like what Shark has to say here:

When a girl cheats for emotional reasons you don’t need a list of signs, it will be shamelessly obvious. Her attraction for someone else will manifest itself as full-blown emotional withdrawal following with increased nagging, lack of sex, and a harsh indifference. More importantly, she will make her attraction for another guy blatant, and her obligation to you will only harbor resentment.

 

[JoeMarron]

Well, there's been quite a few men arguing with this. Did you skip over all of the gazillion arguments? You seem to be a smart guy, but I feel you, and a few others, are being extremely close minded about this. If you really want to know how or why someone could argue with it I bet you could figure it out. You don't have to accept it, but, if you wanted to, I bet you could understand the other poster's POV.

I've seen the quadrillion arguments and they all miss the point. A man has the right to demand whatever price he wants for a relationship. A man who knows and is confident in his value will not give a fraction of a fvck what a woman or anyone else thinks about what he wants in a relationship. All this sh!t about controlling women, cheating, insecurity, etc. is all irrelevant. A woman has a hell of a lot more to gain from monogamy than a man. A sensible man would therefore demand exactly the type of relationship he wants. If you don't want your girl hanging out with other men one on one then demand that price. If you want sex every day then demand that price. If you want your girl to wear a damn pink leotard when she's around you then demand that price. If you want a private investigator to follow your girl around then demand that price.

When your frame is strong, and the attraction is strong enough, you can set all kinds of rules and boundaries.....and she will comply. She will comply because those are your rules, and she wants to be with you.

Exactly.

In this scenario, she still wants to hang out with other guys. WANTS.

You could have a 51%-49% lead in the other guys to zekko ratio so she'll pick you. What happens down the line when the percentages flip only a few points?

Who cares what she wants. If she doesn't want to accept the frame then she can be replaced.

You can have the strongest frame there is, with all the attraction in the world. But the second you tell your woman this: "I don't go exclusive with women that hang out with other guys." You have shown an insecurity.

Who cares whether you, her, or anyone else thinks it's insecure or not.

Her mind: Why does he care who I see and don't see? Does he think I'll cheat on him? I wouldn't do that. Why is he worried that I'll cheat on him?
^doubts start to creep in, as slowly as this may be.

Fvck her thoughts.

A man lives his life and brings women into it. He doesn't conform himself to what a woman wants him to be. Ironically, women will be attracted to him because women are attracted to men who act like men. If you choose to not state your expectations to a woman then that's fine. Run your relationships how you want to run them but know that there are other men who have different expectations than you.

 

[El Payaso]

Sigh...this topic again.

 

[dasein]

Once you advance to where you are only dating above average women in looks and desirability, when a relationship starts to gel and things get exclusive (which you should put off as long as humanly possible) you best better understand what's going on in her life and have a voice in it. You best better have ground rules for what a relationship is and isn't on the front end or you will get walked all over at least, not even getting to cheating prospects. Even the most sterling game wears some after a few months, and even high quality women with high interest levels are capable of bad, impulsive behavior. I've had more than one bride on a wedding day get only a little drunk, grab my ass, and try to kiss me in a quiet corner...on... her... wedding... day. And guys, I'm not George Clooney, far from it.

Just because a -logical man- generally wouldn't behave in a certain way when highly interested in his SO does not mean that a woman won't!! IME that's the END of the "boundaries... if she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat" discussion. Men and women are vastly different in emotional composure and especially accountability for their actions. Expecting logical male behavior, loyalty, honor, etc. from a woman, even a better than average one morally, is a gigantic mistake. The closest you can get is crystal clear understandings about what is and is not acceptable, and even that's not any kind of guarantee, just a minor speedbump. Remember we are dealing with the creature with the most enhanced powers of rationalization in the known universe, especially in human history, and a creature that is told thousands of times a day (in the US anyway) that she is perfect, that every desire she may have and any behavior she may engage in is AOK, above reproach. She can do no real wrong and if she does? there's a convenient male scapegoat to blameshift to right around the corner.

Anyone who has dated a woman who regularly has men trying to throw business cards and flowers into her convertible will understand exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone who has dated women who turn all the heads in restaurants and bring the whole staff to your table "coincidentally" will understand. If OTOH, you've dated nothing but boohogs and homelies, well, who the f cares if they cheat? Let em do whatever the hell they want. You were probably tired of f-ing their pimply ass anyway. If you have one with the body of a Penthouse Pet who loves to do poledances for you every night and want to hold onto that until -you- get tired of it, better set some groundrules.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

A man lives his life and brings women into it. He doesn't conform himself to what a woman wants him to be.

The fact that you made this statement as an argument to what I'm saying, shows that you have absolutely no understanding of my "philosophy"(as zekko would say).

On the rest of your stuff: The girls I'm with want to have sex with me, they want to spend time with me. I don't have to demand it. :crazy:

But hey, to each his own.

EDIT:

I've had more than one bride on a wedding day get only a little drunk, grab my ass, and try to kiss me in a quiet corner...on... her... wedding... day. And guys, I'm not George Clooney, far from it.

^So how should the groom have handled this one before the wedding day? Did he not set enough boundaries? And, if so, how would these type of boundaries be implemented? Mr. Marron, I know you have a wedding coming up, how are you planning on preemptively handling a situation like this from occuring?

 

[dasein]

^So how should the groom have handled this one before the wedding day? Did he not set enough boundaries? And, if so, how would these type of boundaries be implemented?

Wasn't the point, but OK. Not much can be done in those situations as far as setting boundaries, damage was done long ago by not having them and not taking the reins. Admittedly, this kind of thing has only happened to me three times out of more than 100 weddings. That end result at a wedding came from a pushover attitude in the man over time though. I have friends whose wives/brides wouldn't even dream of such because their man has made it crystal clear that such is not acceptable and there would be 0 second chances. None with that type of man grabbed my ass, surprise surprise. (on a side note, guys, don't ever ever be the type to think you are "winning" a woman to be your wife and begging her, courting her with a bunch of hollywood movie crap, promising to give her everything, therein lies oblivion, have seen it DOZENS of times, you will be wishing you were dead within a year)

I've been in every role here, the guy who tries to "be cool" and not possessive who gets cheated on, the guy who sets definite groundrules and gets cheated on anyway, and the guy who sets groundrules that end up making a difference in certain situations in retrospect.

I prefer the latter, partially because it forecloses some of their most absurd braintwisting rationalizations when things go South. "You don't seem to care what I do so I smoked crack with that band dude, but I swear that's all that happened." "You should have tried harder to keep me in line," yaddayadda. Those are things that tempt me to violence when I hear them, but since changing to the crystal clear groundrules type far in the past, I don't hear them. I hear lots of other BS, :yes: just not the most egregious, eye-crossing female rationalizations. They at least -know- very clearly what I consider acceptable and not.

The point was that even quality women can mess up impulsively due to emotions, and that boundaries and groundrules are just speedbumps. A speedbump may be all that is necessary to slow things down though and change certain outcomes, so why not have them?

 

[zekko]

She wants to be your girlfriend.
She still wants to hang out with other guys.
Which one is most important to her?
You.
So she ditches other guys.

In this scenario, she still wants to hang out with other guys. WANTS.

You could have a 51%-49% lead in the other guys to zekko ratio so she'll pick you. What happens down the line when the percentages flip only a few points?

I would hope I would have a lot bigger lead than that. If not, I wouldn't consider her high interest enough to be an LTR. And down the line when the percentages might flip a few points, maybe she will cheat. Maybe she won't. But she won't be able to come home and say "hey, I spent the day with some dude, I knew you would be okay with it".

Peaks, you claim that if a girl likes you a lot, she will automatically drop all her orbiters. I completely disagree with this. Some women will, some won't. But let's take an example from your post in the "orbiters" thread. Your girl was planning to spend the day with her orbiter. She didn't in this example, but if she had automatically gotten rid of him, why was she planning on hanging out with him?

I'm usually happy if they have someone else to hang out with, gives me some fvcking space. Then this is what usually happens:

Me: you're hanging out with "orbiter" today right?
Her: nah, I don't feel like it.
Me: *sigh*

You can have the strongest frame there is, with all the attraction in the world. But the second you tell your woman this: "I don't go exclusive with women that hang out with other guys." You have shown an insecurity

Utter feminist nonsense. I suppose as soon as I say "I don't go exclusive with women who fvcks other guys" I have shown an insecurity there too? I laid down my expectations from a position of strength, not insecurity. Was I fearful that she was going to cheat, or leave me? No, because she can be replaced.

"well they're programmed by society to believe they can do that, duh P&V."

Oh, so telling them not to do it, is going to re-program them?

Society tells them to have orbiters. My experience is that when I tell them my expectations, they realize that this is a far more sensible approach to a relationship than the "hookup culture sex in the city" society has. They may then realize they actually agreed with this approach in their hearts, but had gone along with what society was telling them. This is very similar to how Atom Smasher talks about women appreciating his setting boundaries. Women take their cue from the men in their lives, as it should be.

Bottom line: I want to know if they will agree with my philosophy on relationships. If not, then I will audition other women for the part.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

That end result at a wedding came from a pushover attitude in the man over time though. I have friends whose wives/brides wouldn't even dream of such because their man has made it crystal clear that such is not acceptable and there would be 0 second chances.

This is the only thing I feel needs to be expressed verbally, if anything. But usually, that is implied, and obvious once they get to know me. Plus, I wouldn't have a gf who would even think it would be an option. (cheating)

That end result at a wedding came from a pushover attitude in the man over time though.

I've seen this type of beta provider, they're usually confused, and not sure what to do, and are in limbo, afraid to lose the girl. Sometimes they make a fall from grace and end up as this guy: "sure babe, I'll be the cool provider husband, you can hang out with your friends, while I go to bed early because I have to get up and work, you can do whatever you want. Here's my black amex as well, in case you need to buy anything. Aren't I cool. Yeah, I know you love me."
Then as soon as he's out of the picture she's pulling some guy into the bathroom and blowing lines off his ballsack. Then sneaks back in at 4am where he's either sound asleep, or pretending to be asleep and just looking the other way.

^This is the guy that a lot of posters picture as the guy that doesn't set boundaries. However, if your girl acts like this guy's chick, then you've got a lot more issues than boundaries. You can set all the boundaries you want with this one, but she'll find a way, ashleymadison.com comes to mind.

The problem here^ is ATTRACTION. She's with her bf/husband for other reasons than ATTRACTION, either that, or through time, she's lost ATTRACTION for him. IMO, this is the type of guy that has to set rules, guidelines, and/or constant demands for his women: How much they have sex, what she can or cannot do. If it was up to her, she would rarely do any of these things on her own. This type of guy is there for financial/emotional support, she gets her rocks off somewhere else.

I prefer the latter, partially because it forecloses some of their most absurd braintwisting rationalizations when things go South. "You don't seem to care what I do so I smoked crack with that band dude, but I swear that's all that happened." "You should have tried harder to keep me in line," yaddayadda. Those are things that tempt me to violence when I hear them, but since changing to the crystal clear groundrules type far in the past, I don't hear them. I hear lots of other BS, :yes: just not the most egregious, eye-crossing female rationalizations. They at least -know- very clearly what I consider acceptable and not.

Chick logic. They'll find a reason to blame it on you. "You do blah, blah, blah" or "you don't do gerble, garble, gerble.

Peaks, you claim that if a girl likes you a lot, she will automatically drop all her orbiters. I completely disagree with this. Some women will, some won't. But let's take an example from your post in the "orbiters" thread. Your girl was planning to spend the day with her orbiter. She didn't in this example, but if she had automatically gotten rid of him, why was she planning on hanging out with him?

She will drop any of the threatening ones (any previous contenders). I've also said, a gazillion times, usually concurrently, if she doesn't then don't make her your gf!!!
I made this post in "should I allow my gf to live with guys thread"

Me, hang with who you want. For me, once we(her and I) get to where it looks like we're going to be exclusive, there usually isn't any question. We're spending 4 to 6, sometimes 7, nights a week together. I know her routine, her friends, she knows mine. If, she had previously disrespected me, or gone out with guys that I would consider "threatening", I would have backed away somewhat. I've never had to tell her to stop hanging out with guys. They do that on there own. A few of them have had guy friends that they saw every now and then. One chick was young, 20, and she just had all kinds of friends. I was never worried about them. And knowing her, I really felt I had nothing to worry about. Another chick had a **** ton of orbiters. She was fvcked in the head though, and I did see this as a red flag, however I was blinded by other things. She used them for her own personal gain, they would pay for drinks/food when they were with her. And she would honestly try to use them to make me jealous. But this part always back fired on her. She'd invite me out:

Her: come meet us
Me: who's "us".
Her: orbiter #1 (who was with her when I met her), and orbiter #2.
Me: oh, I'm good, I just feel like staying home tonight
Her: c'mon, blah, blah, blah,
Me: nah, have fun, I'll call you tomorrow
Her: BLAH!! You're such an a$$hole!

1 hour later

Her: Hey, you still at home? Do you mind if I stop by?

I don't mind other guys in their lives, usually. If they're a genuine friend to them, then you have nothing to worry about. If they're a beta orbiter, you have nothing to worry about. If they're a slick DJ like myself? Then I need to deal with that one when/if it comes up. However, she should know that that is not acceptable. If she doesn't then I fvcked up in somewhere in my screening process.

I don't mind it if it's not threatening. A GNO is more threatening than her getting lunch with beta Steve she's known for the last ten years.

When things start getting serious, she wants to see me ALL THE TIME. That's why, if she does have an orbiter or a guy friend that she hangs out with every so often, I'm like "Good!" go hang out! Lets give us some breathing room for a few hours. You guys would automatically assume she's spread eagled 5 minutes after she meets up with orbiter/guy friend. Whatever. Anyways, I don't recall a gf ever hanging out with a guy friend orbiter for a full day, I've hung out with my married chick friend for a full day though. Depending, it's not a regular thing usually, but like in my example, if they have a guy friend or an orbiter they knew from before we met, they're always a distant second in priority. And 99% of the time, it's when I'm doing something else.

Utter feminist nonsense. I suppose as soon as I say "I don't go exclusive with women who fvcks other guys" I have shown an insecurity there too?

Really man?

So you don't see a difference between the following two sentences?

"I don't go exclusive with women that hang out with other guys."
and
"I don't go exclusive with women who fvcks other guys."

Absolutely diabolical.

Society tells them to have orbiters. My experience is that when I tell them my expectations, they realize that this is a far more sensible approach to a relationship than the "hookup culture sex in the city" society has. They may then realize they actually agreed with this approach in their hearts, but had gone along with what society was telling them. This is very similar to how Atom Smasher talks about women appreciating his setting boundaries. Women take their cue from the men in their lives, as it should be.

Bottom line: I want to know if they will agree with my philosophy on relationships. If not, then I will audition other women for the part.

Fair enough zekko. You've got your way, and I've got mine.

 

[TheException]

I've seen the quadrillion arguments and they all miss the point. A man has the right to demand whatever price he wants for a relationship. A man who knows and is confident in his value will not give a fraction of a fvck what a woman or anyone else thinks about what he wants in a relationship. All this sh!t about controlling women, cheating, insecurity, etc. is all irrelevant. A woman has a hell of a lot more to gain from monogamy than a man. A sensible man would therefore demand exactly the type of relationship he wants. If you don't want your girl hanging out with other men one on one then demand that price. If you want sex every day then demand that price. If you want your girl to wear a damn pink leotard when she's around you then demand that price. If you want a private investigator to follow your girl around then demand that price.



Exactly.



Who cares what she wants. If she doesn't want to accept the frame then she can be replaced.



Who cares whether you, her, or anyone else thinks it's insecure or not.



Fvck her thoughts.

A man lives his life and brings women into it. He doesn't conform himself to what a woman wants him to be. Ironically, women will be attracted to him because women are attracted to men who act like men. If you choose to not state your expectations to a woman then that's fine. Run your relationships how you want to run them but know that there are other men who have different expectations than you.

Generally this mindset is a good one to have Joe.......the whole "fvck what anyone thinks" is extremely beneficial to have......but not here.

I understand the whole premise that men can "set any boundary they want".....but that doesnt mean those boundaries arent "based in fear" or "bad boundaries". In the face of that charge, you guys cower up and say "well fvck you guys I can set whatever boundary I want".......this is the EXACT SAME as the beta AFC chump who proclaims "I want girls to like me for me....I dont want to change", whenever they first become unplugged.

The beta chump has been doing "unattractive things" and "insecure" things his ENTIRE life....thus he has limited success with women. By placing boundaries because you fear her cheating......you limit your personal growth. When you say things like "who cares if Im insecure and set a boundary, I want to".......you still prove you have a little of that beta blood inside of you. Instead of getting defensive and trying to defend your ego......you should seek to conquer ALL FEARS AND INSECURITIES instead of allowing them to manifest themselves.

 

[TheException]

Exception's own gf brought a strange man into their home when he wasn't there!

You are worse than MSNBC when it comes to quoting someone. You completely spin and misquote people and I hope other members arent stupid enough to believe you. He wasnt a "strange man" jacka$$....he was some beta chump from class who just happened to be her partner on a project. I would love to see how some girl you were dating is supposed to get around her boundary on this one.....

"Yaaaa sorry brad I cant meet to do this project. My boyfriend, Danger doesnt allow me to hang out with other guys in order to date him. Maybe we can do this by facebook chat? Oh wait.....no.....he wouldnt like that either."

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Danger, that was in reference to JoeMarron's post, look at the quotes, they say JoeMarron.

Anyways, I wouldn't mind hearing how you would handle the whole "bride cheating on her wedding day" ordeal.

You know what there Danger. Here's the bottom line: I want a girl I can trust. And I want a girl that has her trust in me. If I start setting rules and guidlines, then the relationship goes away from being about trust. Yeah, I'd also like to live in a Utopia. However, I don't think I've ever been burned. Maybe this is just my way, and it works for me (and a few others). I also have a good intuition, I can read people very well, maybe that has something to do with why I don't ever feel the need to set boundaries.

 

[TheException]

Peaks, you claim that if a girl likes you a lot, she will automatically drop all her orbiters. I completely disagree with this.

So its on record here that you believe the only way for her to drop orbiters is to proclaim a boundary on them?

I dont fully agree with Peaks statement. I believe women will almost always have orbiters and ive explained this through biology. They monopolize male attention. The issue is.....you see any other male as some sort of "threat" or label it "disrespectful".

Utter feminist nonsense. I suppose as soon as I say "I don't go exclusive with women who fvcks other guys" I have shown an insecurity there too? I laid down my expectations from a position of strength, not insecurity. Was I fearful that she was going to cheat, or leave me? No, because she can be replaced.

Its not feminist nonsense.....Im a MAN SAYING IT TO YOU. YOU ARE INSECURE. You confuse yourself and think "being protective of your investment(Danger quote)" is strong. Any time you worry about something or fear what MAY occur.....its a position of weakness. Period. You guys place this boundary in fear that she will cheat on you.

For example.....lets say you KNOW 100% she will not cheat. Crazy I know, but its guaranteed shes 100% faithful. Would you still place this stupid boundary on her?

1. If you say no.....congratulations, you have just passed step 1 and now realize the true reason you place the boundary is because you FEAR HER CHEATING.

2. If you say yes(which I bet you will all say and scramble around now and look for a reason to actually say yes) then why? Dont be bland, be bold. Dont just say "its disrespectful".....tell me WHY its disrespectful. Its just her filling a need for male attention. The best part is.....the more alpha you are, the more she will seek orbiters to give her attention because you restrict the amount you actually give her.......you guys actually are proving to her how beta you are.

Society tells them to have orbiters.

*Buzzer* sorry.....thats incorrect. Their biology tells them to have orbiters pal. We need as a forum to get away from this "everything is feminism and male shaming". Sure.....feminism is detrimental and certainly influences a lot of men. But not here......almost everyone is aware of the feminism influence. So quit trying to blame everything on that. Its about the facts here......women simply have a biological imperative to gather as much male attention as possible.

READ THE DAMN ARTICLE BEFORE YOU POST ABOUT IT DAMNIT. The only person whose clearly read it is P&V and it seems to have helped him and added to his belief system, while the rest of you spin your wheels in the mud saying the same things.

And P&V......I cosign almost everything you have been saying in this thread. I fear your words are falling on deaf ears with this bunch though. Nice work.

"Save those only who wish to be saved"

 

[dasein]

The problem here^ is ATTRACTION. She's with her bf/husband for other reasons than ATTRACTION, either that, or through time, she's lost ATTRACTION for him.

I'm in the Danger camp on this, it doesn't matter if she is 100% invested, attracted, wrapped, however you want to say it. Almost all women are subject to situational impulsivity. With the better ones, it's high situational, takes a lot... but still impulsive if the right buttons are pushed. The application of game proves this in spades. I'm an average guy in many ways who learns fast, works hard, who has had -many- women drop all pretense and literally put their hands down my pants in crowded bars, pull their tops up over their bras in three star restaurants... these were professional women making 250 a year and still the bell works on them. Some of these women had a serious BF that they planned on marrying, some of them had a man who -thought- he had a GF, but who hadn't pressed the issue of behavior to find out if he really did or not.

A humble man concludes, "If I can -do- that, get that response quickly when I want it, it can be -done- to me." I'm not even playing their favorite song on a guitar, riding around in a Porsche or giving them an eball. Cut down opportunities for bad behavior, reinforce good behavior, greater probability of contentment or at least lack of drama... for the time being. If they can't handle that, then we don't need to be exclusive. Personally, I think this topic is relatively simple and being talked to death, not excluding myself from that assessment either.

That is why I don't give them permission to go play with matches and a gasoline can in the yard. They may do it anyway, but it won't be on my watch, and won't be while we are exclusive, at least the minute I find out about it. This may or may not prevent any cheating or bad behavior, but keeps the results as near binary and crystal clear as possible. Makes my life easier, and I can't emphasize enough the importance of doing everything in one's power to make your life with women easier.

Cats love people too, rub all over you, purr and meow... then the shiny bell with the feather on it rings and rolls across the floor... there goes the cat. I wish women had the logical capacity men do, I wish they didn't thrive on drama, attention and constant stimulus, and some of them don't. Those are very rare and stick out like a sore thumb, can be given more leeway. For the rest? Lay the groundrules when they ask for exclusivity and keep those reins on and tight. True insecurity is being afraid to do that because it might "chase them off."

All the nonboundary folks need to watch the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzlMfPy_BPU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C-R23d-zSc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvFzEgLiMk

 

[TheGambino]

I got a question boys. I have a discussion with my nephew. I seriousley think that all girls over the world would cheat when the right man comes to her and escalates intoo having sex in the right situation.

He thinks that there are women who would never ever cheat whatever man comes around.

what do you guys think?

 

[In2theGame]

I'm in the Danger camp on this, it doesn't matter if she is 100% invested, attracted, wrapped, however you want to say it. Almost all women are subject to situational impulsivity. With the better ones, it's high situational, takes a lot... but still impulsive if the right buttons are pushed. The application of game proves this in spades. I'm an average guy in many ways who learns fast, works hard, who has had -many- women drop all pretense and literally put their hands down my pants in crowded bars, pull their tops up over their bras in three star restaurants... these were professional women making 250 a year and still the bell works on them. Some of these women had a serious BF that they planned on marrying, some of them had a man who -thought- he had a GF, but who hadn't pressed the issue of behavior to find out if he really did or not.

A humble man concludes, "If I can -do- that, get that response quickly when I want it, it can be -done- to me." I'm not even playing their favorite song on a guitar, riding around in a Porsche or giving them an eball. Cut down opportunities for bad behavior, reinforce good behavior, greater probability of contentment or at least lack of drama... for the time being. If they can't handle that, then we don't need to be exclusive. Personally, I think this topic is relatively simple and being talked to death, not excluding myself from that assessment either.

That is why I don't give them permission to go play with matches and a gasoline can in the yard. They may do it anyway, but it won't be on my watch, and won't be while we are exclusive, at least the minute I find out about it. This may or may not prevent any cheating or bad behavior, but keeps the results as near binary and crystal clear as possible. Makes my life easier, and I can't emphasize enough the importance of doing everything in one's power to make your life with women easier.

Cats love people too, rub all over you, purr and meow... then the shiny bell with the feather on it rings and rolls across the floor... there goes the cat. I wish women had the logical capacity men do, I wish they didn't thrive on drama, attention and constant stimulus, and some of them don't. Those are very rare and stick out like a sore thumb, can be given more leeway. For the rest? Lay the groundrules when they ask for exclusivity and keep those reins on and tight. True insecurity is being afraid to do that because it might "chase them off."

All the nonboundary folks need to watch the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzlMfPy_BPU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C-R23d-zSc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvFzEgLiMk

Nice post, Had to rep this. From my experience with loads of women, This is true, Especially the bold parts. Letting them go ahead and hang out with other men is just asking for trouble/drama into the relationship.

"I wish women had the logical capacity men do, I wish they didn't thrive on drama, attention and constant stimulus" -- This is why they are built to be led and directed by men.

 

[zekko]

So its on record here that you believe the only way for her to drop orbiters is to proclaim a boundary on them?

I dont fully agree with Peaks statement. I believe women will almost always have orbiters and ive explained this through biology. They monopolize male attention. The issue is.....you see any other male as some sort of "threat" or label it "disrespectful".

You complain about Danger misquoting you, but you're doing it yourself here. No, I did not say the only way for a woman to drop orbiters is to set a boundary. Some women do not believe in orbiters in an exclusive relationship to begin with. Some can take or leave it.

I don't see every other male as a threat. But I do see spending one on one time with other males as disrespectful.

Its not feminist nonsense.....Im a MAN SAYING IT TO YOU. YOU ARE INSECURE. You confuse yourself and think "being protective of your investment(Danger quote)" is strong. Any time you worry about something or fear what MAY occur.....its a position of weakness. Period. You guys place this boundary in fear that she will cheat on you.

Well, that's your opinion. I disagree.

If it was so insecure that a man has problems with his woman hanging out with other men one on one, why does Peaks insist they will get rid of these men on their own? After all, according to you guys the only reason a guy would object is because he's insecure, right? Why would she instinctively do something on her own to appease some guy's insecurity?

Anyway, you and Peaks have no problem with your girl spending time with men. That's where we part company, and we can "spin our wheels in the mud" saying the same things over and over, but obviously once we split from that point there will be no agreeing.

That is why I don't give them permission to go play with matches and a gasoline can in the yard. They may do it anyway, but it won't be on my watch, and won't be while we are exclusive, at least the minute I find out about it.

This is the way I see it, and the way my ex-wife saw it, btw. It's simply a smart lifestyle choice. Doing otherwise is asking for trouble.

I got a question boys. I have a discussion with my nephew. I seriousley think that all girls over the world would cheat when the right man comes to her and escalates intoo having sex in the right situation.

He thinks that there are women who would never ever cheat whatever man comes around.

what do you guys think?

Generally speaking, when talking about human behavior, I think that any time you speak in absolutes, you have a good chance of being wrong.

 

[Jaylan]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzlMfPy_BPU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C-R23d-zSc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvFzEgLiMk

Lol, preteens in the first two.

Lets be serious.

Elvis is the only one with grown women. And even at that time, he wasnt at the height of his career when women went really nutz as he burst onto the scene. Lets put the Beatles and Elvis in context. The reason they had such large "mania" with women is because they were of a brand new generation of men and music. A generation of music that brought women sexy men, with good voices, and nice dance moves.

The 60s and 70s were a large revolution. Nowadays, freakouts like that are done by preteens. While plenty of women (and men) will cheat in the right situation. There are many who wont. Gotta find the right ones. Some people keep their word, and others dont. Thats the difference between high quality and low quality people in my view.

 

[dasein]

Lol, preteens in the first two.
Lets be serious.

Let's. -Not- preteens in the Beatles vid, most at least 16. I can find plenty of vids of grown women acting like groupies last week, that wasn't the point though. The point can be seen in the Beatles video in the difference between the behavior of the young guys in ties and blazers and the shrieky girls.

Once you reach your late 20s and beyond, you will learn that they don't change that much. They just get better at hiding it and do their shrieking on the inside. Rest assured, they are still shrieking though.

 

[In2theGame]

Once you reach your late 20s and beyond, you will learn that they don't change that much. They just get better at hiding it and do their shrieking on the inside. Rest assured, they are still shrieking though.

This exactly.

 

[In2theGame]

I was trying to find an example of how these chicks "think" when it comes to feelings even if they claim to "Love" their boyfriend. I didnt have to search hardly at all to see the first thing on yahoo Answers. Look at what this girl is saying. This is why i say If the guy in question is in the right place, at the right time saying the right things the right way,... She will bend for him due to that emotional spark he triggered. In this case its the guys friend which makes it worse but he probably seeing no threat, meanwhile she's crushing on the new guy. Letting your GF/Wife freely just hang out with other guys is asking for it, unless you dont give a fvck about her, you have to restrict this kind of behavior. Although this girl in this post is 20, Women in general are like this and they rarely have self control. Even if they claim they do, Its programmed into them to be emotional and potentially make dumb-azz decisions based on how they "Feel". Copied and Pasted exactly as is from Yahoo Answers:

"My boyfriend and I have been together a year. Im 20 hes 21. I love my boyfriend I do. Hes a solid, stable, loyal guy. Hes just an all around good person he would help anyone who ever asked for it. I come to realize last night that I think I'm becoming attracted to his friend James. James is just a hilarious person (my bf is the serious acting type) and I have found out that some how we just "click" together he gets my goofy jokes and we laugh all the time together. Last night at a party my boyfriend kinda just took off with his friend Josh so James was my "buddy" all night. He made me laugh and made me entertained. Hes constantly flirting with me and there have been times when I've caught him staring at me. He even found me at college a few times to talk for like a half hour in the lounge. I can't help that he is good looking too.

I've never told my boyfriend about James' flirting because like I said they're really good friends. I did tell him about seeing him at school and he said "yeah babe thats alright haha you don't have to justify yourself to me. So whats James been doing? havent seen him since blah blah" I dont know what to do because I still love my boyfriend and I cant imagine my life without him. When hes not with me I don't feel complete. How can I stop feeling this way about his friend?"

I would bet that if they hung out together just as friends and the dude made a move... She would cheat even though she LOVES her BF and then cry about it later saying "OMG i shouldnt have done that". typical female actions.

Here's another one from Yahoo Answers where this girl is upset because her boyfriend doesnt like her having male friends:

"My boyfriend lately has been complaining and getting mad at me for having male friends. I don't flirt with them or have any intimacy for them whatsoever. They are just like really cool friends i love to hang out with. Especially my friend Adam who I knew since we were babies. Then I have another friend Cameron who I'm good friends with but could never see him in that way. Matthew, (my bf) never really liked it before and just dealt with it, but I always knew in the back of his mind he wanted to say something. Lately what really set him off was when i had plans to go to the ice skating rink with Adam and I had to cancel date night plans with him because i was already hanging out with Adam. He is now gotten so angry about it, he wants me to stop being friends with Adam and Cameron
What do I do? Please help me!! "

There is nothing much to be said about this other than imagine the fit she would have if her boyfriend was hanging out with his female friends and breaking plans with his GF for another girl. In this case according to her thinking, Its okay.

Here's a response to one of the questions regarding a woman upset because her BF sees a problem with having her male friends, The post made good sense and he understands, However, The women ripped him apart saying he was insecure and jealous and "THEY ARENT LIKE THAT"... We've all heard that one gentlemen.

"Your bf is not being a jerk. Definitely normal behavior and heres why.
When you tell your friends hey I know u like me but I have a bf, in his mind he is thinking

-"well if she has bf problem I might be the go to guy for problems ;-) .
- Or maybe a rebound.
- If I continue being close friends with her I'll have a higher chance to fck."


Your bf knows what every guy is thinking about especially if they have been long time friends with you.

The thing is every girl hears me say this n their reply is
- No, I know my friends arent like that
- Many guys are but not my friends
- No trust me, I know them.
- Not every guy I meet wants to do me.
- its possible but im not gna cheat.
(Fact is, its not about you being a cheater or a hoe. its the fact that your male friends are sticking around to get "something". )

Its that kind of annoying, gullable, & naive female thinking that makes us (boyfriend/husbands) upset."

That guy seems to get it but the Women ripped on him because he spoke the truth.