AD, could you please give me your advice?

[DJXTC]

Wow man! ,it seems like you have some really good points, and have things put together well. My problem is, I've got a date tommorrow with a girl and I haven't a clue on what we're doing. And when I get home from whatever I'm going to do with this girl, "Lets call her girl 1", I have to call girl 2, whos number I got thursday. Or should I stick it out longer for five full days. But after that I have to get a hold of girl 3 and 4, whos number's I got Saturday night.
The thing is, the only real days I have off are Mondays and Thursdays. And on these days off I'd like to be in the company of a female. I'm sick of hanging out with my friends and getting wasted or watching tv. Anyhow with these girls so far, I've made a lot of eye contact and have done my best to let them do the talking. I've also been smiling alot and looking into their eyes,"they almost always blush and fix their hair with a grin". I like holding girls hands , and I like to grab their waists when I meet them and I'm talking to them, I even joke around and whisper things in their ears. I'm basically a real touchy guy when it comes to girls, is that bad? They seem to love it and almost always give me hugs or kisses when I leave.
I just need to know if I'm screwing anything up, or should I correct or change anything? What can I do next if I didn't already mess things up? I just want your opinion, because I know you have good knowledge of these things and I respect you. I have my looks and personality going for me, but I just need to apply them in a way that I can consistantly pick up girls and keep up my confidents. I've been in a lot of trouble in the past, but I changed all that I learned to se better judgement and think things over. I haven't always been happy with my looks, I started getting fit, eating right, and living a healthy lifestyle." now I'm 6'0 ,175 lbs. and 4% bodyfat. I'm only 18 and I've got a lot more to learn, but I've sure learned alot so far, and with the right direction, along with self motivation I've done evrything I've put my mind to.
I'm just asking you to point me in that direction, so I can get through this obstacle without any negative consequences. I've had a lot of things happen to me in the last couple of years, and its been very hard to keep a good state of mind, and have confidence. I've written a lot and anybody who reads this probably thinks I'm some kind of weirdo, but I'm very passionate about my goals and always willing to work towards improvement. Through all my ups and downs I've really come to appreciate life, and I can't live life thinking that I missed out on something just because of my ignorance. I know this is long and I apologize, you don't have to answer. But thank you for reading if you've made it this far.

Thanks always,
Joseph

 

[Anti-Dump]

Joseph,

Will answer tonight at around 5:30.

AD

 

[Austin Powers]

Joseph,

Will dispute AD's answer tonight at around 5:35.

J/K

------------------
International Man Of Mystery

Formerly, Low Self Esteem

 

[Anti-Dump]

Joseph,

I'm glad to see you turned your life around. The past is dead and gone.
The best is yet to be.

I sorry but I have to disappoint you.
I don't think my suggestions and comments will work for you. Why?

In your last TOPIC POST (6-17-00) you said "I'm not very tolerable about waiting for sex. Most girls take about four days, or I drop them.

Here's what I mean: The PURPOSE of waiting five days to call a girl is to show the girl you are NOT LIKE all the other guys. That you DON'T want to get right into bed with her. Most guys WANT to. It shows her you are DIFFERENT. That's what they want. DIFFERENT.

Now suppose you, Joseph, wait the five days. Then go on a date and JUMP her, YOU HAVE DEFEATED THE PURPOSE OF WAITING.

My tactics are DELAY and WAIT. Ever heard of an expression 'Fools Rush In Where Angels Fear To Tread'? If you RUSH the dating process you will fail.

I may be wrong but it looks like you are a PLAYER. By what you said in both of your posts.

You can't use ANY of my suggestions for being a player. Why? Because they are the <<<<<<OPPOSITE>>>>>> of being a PLAYER. That's why they work
with women. Every guy wants to look and act like a player. I am NOT against being a player. There is nothing wrong with that.

But if you want SUCCESS with women, that is REAL LOVE you have to do the OPPOSITE of the herd.

Good Luck.

AD

 

[DJXTC]

Thanks for explaining yourself, I guess my ideas are different. I just can't stay with one girl. Its very lonely being a player, because you only get a girl here and there. When you have a relationship you have someone there for you all the time. I thought about your ideas last night and I've decided to go with girl 2. But how can I keep the other girls as something to fall back on. I'll probably meet more girls tonight. What should I do? I would really like to see myself with girl 2, I think I like her. How am I going to do this? Lets just focus on her.

 

[Vassago]

Personally, I think the player has a better chance of finding a long term relationship. He meets more women so he has more options to choose from, he has more game so he can get the one he wants, and most importantly, he doesn't come from a place of need. I know that when I was hooking up with alot of women I always had long term relationship options, but when I decided to settle down and find someone special, everything seemed to dry out. I have met all of my past loves at times when the last thing on my mind was a girlfriend. Women can smell neediness a mile away, and I think that is the biggest factor. Of course there is also social proof, the challenge of taming a bad boy, the primal attraction to a dangerous man, etc, that all adds to the attraction, but at the same time if you go over the edge and become too much of a male slut it will come back to haunt you.

I have noticed that the guys who get the highest quality women are those guys who you cant really put into a catagory. Guys who have one women all of time, and that one women changes every couple months until they find one that they can totally connect with. They always treat these women well, but they dont settle for anything less then the best.
These are the real players. You'll never know it by talking to them, but you will here the women talk about them because they are dying to be the next in line.

 

[DJXTC]

Well should I call her tommorow night or what? It has been five days, now I have to move. Should I set up a date? Or is this when I get off the phone after 20 minuutes and call her back in four more days. I need a plan, I don't want to be a player anymore. Its time for me to get into a lasting relationship. Anti-Dump, can you tell me what I need to do before tommorow night. This is getting stressfull and I need to have everything planned out. Please give me a reply.

Thanks always,
Joseph

 

[Anti-Dump]

J,

Call her tonight at 7:00 PM and at 9:00 PM only. Don't leave a message if you get the machine. You will have to wait.

If she answers say "Hi this is FULL NAME, first and last. We met at the (place). Let's go (whatever you want to do) on THURSDAY. I'll pick you up at 8:00PM" (whatever time). I don't know if you have a car. In that case use your own words here.

If she says she is busy thursday, say "Oh that's too bad. We'll talk later.
" Hang up. But do it real smoothly. She can't know when you will call. She has to WAIT and WONDER about you. You will then call back Sunday night for a TUESDAY date.

I hope you have patience for all this Joseph. You can always say 'screw Anti-dump' you know.

Good Luck.

AD

[This message has been edited by Anti-Dump (edited 06-20-2000).]

 

[DJXTC]

Thanks man, that sounds good. The only problem now, is figuring out what I'm going to do on Thursday. I want to make a good impression on her. I never know what to do with a girl on the first date. I don't want to be tacky, and traditional, and go to a movie like everyone else. What kind of activities are acceptable on a first date. Could you or anybody give me any example of what I could do, and what I should stay away from. I need to know before tonight.

Thanks always,
Joseph

P.S. This is the only problem that I keep running into with girls, everything else I can do problem free. Most of the time I end up not calling a girl, just because I don't know what I'm going to do with them. I'm never going to get anywhere like that.

 

[Joseph]

Rather than a movie, how about a play? Got any theaters around there? Even if it is just a cheesy comunity theater she will think you are classy for going to a play. And they are usually dirt cheap as well.

 

[DJXTC]

Thanks, but thats out of the question for me. I like raves and concerts, but there is no way I'd step foot into a play. Where I'm from you have to have a little sugar in your tank if your going off to plays and musicals. I really appreciate the input though.

Thanks always,
Joseph

 

[DJXTC]

I have an idea. How about going to the beach, then going out for ice cream. Would that be good for a first date?

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by Vassago:
I have noticed that the guys who get the highest quality women are those guys who you cant really put into a catagory. Guys who have one women all of time, and that one women changes every couple months until they find one that they can totally connect with. They always treat these women well, but they dont settle for anything less then the best.
These are the real players. You'll never know it by talking to them, but you will here the women talk about them because they are dying to be the next in line.

How do I become 1 of those guyz?


------------------
~R*Y*A*N~

"I have run out of ways to fail; now I can only succeed!!!"

 

[Blue-eyed Devil]

joseph, how about a comedy club? i read somewhere about it and found it to be a really good first date idea. the comedian entertains your date and she has a great time. this may not be as impressive as your looking for but it's a thought...just my .02

devil

 

[Anti-Dump]

J,

The beach is perfect. Do that. Just walk around and have FUN.


Also check out my dating ideas on Page 7, 6-04-00 "Need ideas quick!" by GentlemenJB, 10:54 AM. For a first date.

Have fun.

AD

 

[DonMaximus]

Here is my list:

1. Do you like to cook? Cook for her.
2. Rent a video from Blockbuster.
3. Take a walk at the park or beach.
4. Volunteer at a shelter or homeless or
orphanage.
5. Go fishing at the pier.
6. Like to go hiking in the boonies?
7. Rollerblading or Biking.
8. Breakfast? Brunch? Lunch? Dinner?
9. Movies(only after 2nd date) or live
concert or performing arts.
10. Go to museums.
11. Disneyland? Magic Mountain? Universal
studio? KnottsBerry Farm? Etc...
12. Skiing, boat ride.
13. Dinner cruises.
14. Go for a drink at a pub.
15. Dancing/clubing
16. Kareoke/singing
17. Do you like coffe house, tea?
18. Watch the sundown/sunup, look at the
stars and moon.
19. Carriage ride.
20. Limo cruise out in the town.
21. Balloon ride over the blue yonder.
22. A good chat
23. Window shopping or shopping at the mall.
25. Massage parlor
26. Go to a friends invitation party.
27. Any circus in town? RingLingBrothers?
28. Watch for festivals like: Jazz, Chili,
Reggae, international dance festivals.
29. Go to swapmeets.
30. Like animals? Go to the zoo or Seaworld.
31. Baseball, Football, Basketball or any
sporting events.
32. Watch fireworks.
33. Go carts
34. Miniature golfing.
35. Kayaking.
36. Go to the border to eat lobsters.
37. Like to watch race car drivers or
monster truck shows?
38. Wrestling or is it to hard for you?
39. How about gambling go to casinos.
40. Batting cages.
41. Del Mar fairground.
42. Horse back riding.
43. Wine tasting at Vineyard.
44. Did I say saling yet?
45. Go to the mountains when it snows.
46. Day at the country to pick fruits.
47. Picnic at the park or wherever scenic.
48. Go to botanical gardens see flowers.
49. Like arcades? Go to Nickel City.
50. Do you do Yoga/Meditation.

I hope this help!

DonMaximus...

 

[DonMaximus]

Hey DJXTC,

My pimp partner also mentioned take some Salsa dancing, swing, meringay, country line dancing. This are offered free at nearby clubs. Go to your internet and type in Salsa dancing for your nearest location.

DonMaximus.

 

[Vassago]

Well if your really serious, start by reading two newsletters at <A HREF="http://www.seduction.com..."Wimps" TARGET=_blank>www.seduction.com..."Wimps</A> into Winners" and "Putting a Price on Yourself". Actually read them all, ignore the Speed Seduction stuff for now, but make sure you print out the two I mentioned and read them everyday. And dont worry, Im not gonna tell you to buy the SS products. Its not easy, but definitly worth it. Email me at vassago3@mailcity.com after you have read those two and we will go from there.

Originally posted by Ryan:

How do I become 1 of those guyz?

 

[DJXTC]

AD, I called her but her dad said she wasn't home. I didn't feel like calling her again later and having her dad pick up again. What now?

Don Maximus, thank you for all your ideas. I'm going to keep a lot of those for future refrences.

Vassago, I printed those articles out, but I haven't read them yet. I'll be sure to email you, once I read them.

Thanks always,
Joseph

 

[Anti-Dump]

Joseph,

Call her sunday night at 9:00PM for a tuesday date.

One call but this time leave your name with someone.

Never call a girl on the weekend. She must think about you while she is seeing other guys. Get them during the week. You have no choice to call on sunday because of your only days off.

When the other guys are making mistakes dating her on the weekend,
she will be thinking of you as her BACKUP. It is easier to dump a guy if she is waiting for you to call her.
That's why you never call on a weekend.

Good Luck

AD

[This message has been edited by Anti-Dump (edited 06-21-2000).]