Pretty standard story – met girl, moved too quickly. I’m 30 and she’s 23…we met on new years this year and instantly hit it off. It turns out her mom lived on the same street as my office so before I knew it, I was picking her up on the way home to play house almost everyday and dropping her back home when I went to work.
3 months in, we exchanged I love yous By month 5, I decided to give her a key in my building and the extra parking spot followed by going on a trip to the Bahamas (we both paid for ourselves). By month 6, I realized we had barely had a single disagreement seeing each other since we met and this is a loving and caring person I’d consider as a long-term partner
Then 3 weeks ago I went to Miami for a bachelor party and it all went to ****.
We had gotten into a minor fight before I left about some of the “party favors” me and the boys would indulge in on special occasions when partying – and I had previously agreed I wouldn’t do it anymore (I was looking to cut that out of my life anyway) but she seemed to have a hard time believing I wouldn’t indulge on a major Miami trip with a bunch of my closest friends.
On the second night, we end up face timing (huge mistake and I am absolutely hammered) and she gets mad and accuses me of lying to her about what state I’m in (even though I didn’t do anything wrong). Eventually she gets annoyed, tells me we’ll talk about this later and to go have fun. What do I do like an idiot? Call her a million times drunkily trying to convince her I didn’t do what she thought I was doing. This, of course, ultimately annoys her more and we stop talking until I get back.
When I’m back, there is a different aura – she is cooking less, she is still around all the time but slightly distant…sex is still OK but definitely less affectionate than before I left. What do I do? Act needy, make things worse by asking what’s wrong and end up trying to confront her about it at her friend’s party. (this past Friday) to which we both ended up getting mad and I left. She’s been around my place since but things have been ****tier than ever.
I know what I did wrong and I know she definitely lost interest/attraction over the last 3 weeks – mostly because I was needy with my eagerness to fix our fight on the spot and because I couldn’t control my emotions. I get these are repulsive qualities to women and before this month, even with how quickly things had moved, I hadn’t acted like this which is probably why there were no issues.
The question as always in these kind of questions/threads – can this be fixed or is it time to cut losses? It’s only been a couple weeks of bickering but I get attraction can get killed fast. Part of me wants to work it out but part of me is feeling things will never be the same again.
My strategy: I’m starting to accept this may end in my head and use it as a lesson for next time a girl I really like comes into my life. I’m going to let her contact me, and when we’re together, act like I did when things were carefree and less emotional like when we first met (I did this last night and it seems to have worked positively)
Appreciate any thoughts, tip or advice to get the spark back and rectify myself for acting like a goof who can’t control their emotions.
Cheers.
3 months in, we exchanged I love yous By month 5, I decided to give her a key in my building and the extra parking spot followed by going on a trip to the Bahamas (we both paid for ourselves). By month 6, I realized we had barely had a single disagreement seeing each other since we met and this is a loving and caring person I’d consider as a long-term partner
Then 3 weeks ago I went to Miami for a bachelor party and it all went to ****.
We had gotten into a minor fight before I left about some of the “party favors” me and the boys would indulge in on special occasions when partying – and I had previously agreed I wouldn’t do it anymore (I was looking to cut that out of my life anyway) but she seemed to have a hard time believing I wouldn’t indulge on a major Miami trip with a bunch of my closest friends.
On the second night, we end up face timing (huge mistake and I am absolutely hammered) and she gets mad and accuses me of lying to her about what state I’m in (even though I didn’t do anything wrong). Eventually she gets annoyed, tells me we’ll talk about this later and to go have fun. What do I do like an idiot? Call her a million times drunkily trying to convince her I didn’t do what she thought I was doing. This, of course, ultimately annoys her more and we stop talking until I get back.
When I’m back, there is a different aura – she is cooking less, she is still around all the time but slightly distant…sex is still OK but definitely less affectionate than before I left. What do I do? Act needy, make things worse by asking what’s wrong and end up trying to confront her about it at her friend’s party. (this past Friday) to which we both ended up getting mad and I left. She’s been around my place since but things have been ****tier than ever.
I know what I did wrong and I know she definitely lost interest/attraction over the last 3 weeks – mostly because I was needy with my eagerness to fix our fight on the spot and because I couldn’t control my emotions. I get these are repulsive qualities to women and before this month, even with how quickly things had moved, I hadn’t acted like this which is probably why there were no issues.
The question as always in these kind of questions/threads – can this be fixed or is it time to cut losses? It’s only been a couple weeks of bickering but I get attraction can get killed fast. Part of me wants to work it out but part of me is feeling things will never be the same again.
My strategy: I’m starting to accept this may end in my head and use it as a lesson for next time a girl I really like comes into my life. I’m going to let her contact me, and when we’re together, act like I did when things were carefree and less emotional like when we first met (I did this last night and it seems to have worked positively)
Appreciate any thoughts, tip or advice to get the spark back and rectify myself for acting like a goof who can’t control their emotions.
Cheers.
