Abundance mindset mentality

[Glassguy]

We always have discussions about having "an abundance mindset". But does it mean that you have to have women lined up waiting for you? Absolutely not.
For years when I was not in an exclusive relationship, I ran a rotation. And was good at it. That's worth a separate post altogether
While it helps to have multiple women knocking down your door, it's not necessary to have an abundant mindset. Let me explain:
Anytime I have left a relationship (fwb, exclusive, engagement and marriage) i have always found a better woman. Every single time. Maybe it took a little time of dating a decent amount of women, but I've always upgraded. Maybe that is because we all find out more of what we are really looking for and have a better understanding of what we aren't compatible with as we date a lot of women. So we take or should take that with us and screen women even harder when we apply what we've learned from previous dating experiences.
When I've hit a dry spell and it seems as though really good women are hard to find (especially in today's dating world), I can fall back to knowing that I always find better.
That in itself leads me to an abundant mindset. So don't fret if you don't have 4 chicks lined up. It's no big deal. Keep your swagger and positivity.
Just because I could line up plenty of dates next week if I wanted doesn't mean that I should or that it's well spent of my time. I'm beginning to realize that quantity doesn't outweigh quality.
So keep that positive mindset and screen these women hard based on what you are compatible with and what you aren't. Dating is time consuming and expensive if you let it be. Focus on the women who have the qualities you're looking for and realize that you'll find better and upgrade more than not.

Happy Hunting

 

[justaroundthecorner]

When I've hit a dry spell and it seems as though really good women are hard to find (especially in today's dating world), I can fall back to knowing that I always find better.

I think it depends who are you. How would you rate yourself objectively (looks, money, character, overall "attractiveness", what women tend to gravitate towards you?) and what are your prospects of getting more attractive/more successful?

For example: I am of average height, average frame, well educated, with above average personal wealth (but nothing exceptional even if I earn well as I do not come from wealthy background), started to fight off first signs of "dad bod" recently - I look young and I'm the smart guy type but since my interests were always quite nerdy, I never really attracted the top SMV women (the best looking gals I scored were 8s, mostly due to my game and intelligence as nothing else was my forte) I also understood that I feel the best having good looking (not necessarily beautiful) but nerdy or old fashioned woman and that I am definitely not a "rotation" type of guy (I never got a thrill from an idea of having more than one woman at the same time - in my mind it was as if someone else would steal time from me that I could spend on my hobbies, reading, meeting with friends, getting higher qualifications for my job etc.). Taking all under consideration, I doubt my prospects could get much better from what I have now (divorcing my wife would lead to being a single dad of higher mid-tier attractiveness and there are millions of such guys in this world) it would also ruing peace of mind I have now.

Therefore I am wondering what is your plan for your personal life considering you seem to be 8 years older than I am?

Staying single and w/o personal obligations like children is major forte when it comes to dating, but do you really think that every next woman will be better than the last one? I kind of think 49-50 years old mark is end of prime time for all guys (for some guys its even earlier, counting prime as somewhere between 30 - 48 depending how healthy is or was your lifestyle). I believe after that every woman you will meet will have some major flaw you will need to accept.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But does it mean that you have to have women lined up waiting for you?

Nope... Wrapped in plastic, and laying face down in the basement freezer, is infinitely more accessible than having a few million broads you've met online(and who may not show up)on speed dial. The sex is almost guaranteed to be more frosty than ardent, but alas, there are trade-offs for everything in life

 

[sevbucmash]

Wrapped in plastic, and laying face down in the basement freezer

You sound like you have a body in your basement freezer.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You sound like you have a body in your basement freezer.

Wouldn't be surprised to learn that many a squatter has ODed in the basement of this apartment complex I currently call home... Critters beyond even Rog Corman's imagination https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1263433/ almost certainly guaranteed that these poor souls remain classified as "Missing"

 

[Gamisch]

We always have discussions about having "an abundance mindset". But does it mean that you have to have women lined up waiting for you? Absolutely not.
For years when I was not in an exclusive relationship, I ran a rotation. And was good at it. That's worth a separate post altogether
While it helps to have multiple women knocking down your door, it's not necessary to have an abundant mindset. Let me explain:
Anytime I have left a relationship (fwb, exclusive, engagement and marriage) i have always found a better woman. Every single time. Maybe it took a little time of dating a decent amount of women, but I've always upgraded. Maybe that is because we all find out more of what we are really looking for and have a better understanding of what we aren't compatible with as we date a lot of women. So we take or should take that with us and screen women even harder when we apply what we've learned from previous dating experiences.
When I've hit a dry spell and it seems as though really good women are hard to find (especially in today's dating world), I can fall back to knowing that I always find better.
That in itself leads me to an abundant mindset. So don't fret if you don't have 4 chicks lined up. It's no big deal. Keep your swagger and positivity.
Just because I could line up plenty of dates next week if I wanted doesn't mean that I should or that it's well spent of my time. I'm beginning to realize that quantity doesn't outweigh quality.
So keep that positive mindset and screen these women hard based on what you are compatible with and what you aren't. Dating is time consuming and expensive if you let it be. Focus on the women who have the qualities you're looking for and realize that you'll find better and upgrade more than not.

Happy Hunting

Good post.

I geuss the concept of the "abundance mindset " can have several meanings.
-One obviously is the physical part, having "plenty of women " at any given time .

The other one is the mental/spiritual part of it. Confidence might be the easiest explanation.
When you know that you will ALWAYS meet new women you don't have to worry about the last one.

An abundance mindset basically allows a man to NOT put all his chips on women and/or the love ,loyalty and cooperation from a woman.

Heck ,in today's daring world a decent stand-up man ( between smv 6 and 9) will meet many women with many flaws , and only now and then he will meet a GREAT woman with truly great potential. Once you know this you can put your mind on other shyte.

 

[jhonny9546]

I relate to what you're saying, it's happened to me twice, not four times.


But I think my experiences were a bit different from yours. I fell into oneitis with the first woman I really connected with, and no matter what I did, I just couldn't shake her off.


It wasn’t something superficial like idealization or anything like that, this woman triggered something deep in my unconscious, and it lit up like a flame. I wasn’t ready for it, and it took a long time to realize that this woman, this figure, still has a powerful impact on me. She didn’t have to do anything, just her presence, the way she moved, her mannerisms, her voice, the way she looked at me... I'm sure many people here have experienced something similar. They say it’s our unconscious speaking.


That said, I’ve moved past it. Fortunately, I managed to find a woman who surpassed her in other ways, even though, in hindsight, none of the women I've met since have been able to spark that same unconscious "response" in me.


Now I also understand why so many couples stay together even when things aren’t working. There’s this invisible bond holding them, this deep, unconscious connection.

 

[Glassguy]

I relate to what you're saying, it's happened to me twice, not four times.


But I think my experiences were a bit different from yours. I fell into oneitis with the first woman I really connected with, and no matter what I did, I just couldn't shake her off.


It wasn’t something superficial like idealization or anything like that, this woman triggered something deep in my unconscious, and it lit up like a flame. I wasn’t ready for it, and it took a long time to realize that this woman, this figure, still has a powerful impact on me. She didn’t have to do anything, just her presence, the way she moved, her mannerisms, her voice, the way she looked at me... I'm sure many people here have experienced something similar. They say it’s our unconscious speaking.


That said, I’ve moved past it. Fortunately, I managed to find a woman who surpassed her in other ways, even though, in hindsight, none of the women I've met since have been able to spark that same unconscious "response" in me.


Now I also understand why so many couples stay together even when things aren’t working. There’s this invisible bond holding them, this deep, unconscious connection.

Trauma bonding is a real thing also lol

 

[Barrister]

Now I also understand why so many couples stay together even when things aren’t working. There’s this invisible bond holding them, this deep, unconscious connection.

Or what is more likely is people are just afraid of change. Most LTRs/marriages are unhappy and most of them are the victims of inertia. One or both parties are simply afraid to pull the trigger because it’s just easier to keep doing what they’re used to rather than deal with the unknown or the cost of splitting (for marriages). Has zero to do with a “deep, unconscious connection.”

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

We always have discussions about having "an abundance mindset". But does it mean that you have to have women lined up waiting for you? Absolutely not.
For years when I was not in an exclusive relationship, I ran a rotation. And was good at it. That's worth a separate post altogether
While it helps to have multiple women knocking down your door, it's not necessary to have an abundant mindset. Let me explain:
Anytime I have left a relationship (fwb, exclusive, engagement and marriage) i have always found a better woman. Every single time. Maybe it took a little time of dating a decent amount of women, but I've always upgraded. Maybe that is because we all find out more of what we are really looking for and have a better understanding of what we aren't compatible with as we date a lot of women. So we take or should take that with us and screen women even harder when we apply what we've learned from previous dating experiences.
When I've hit a dry spell and it seems as though really good women are hard to find (especially in today's dating world), I can fall back to knowing that I always find better.
That in itself leads me to an abundant mindset. So don't fret if you don't have 4 chicks lined up. It's no big deal. Keep your swagger and positivity.
Just because I could line up plenty of dates next week if I wanted doesn't mean that I should or that it's well spent of my time. I'm beginning to realize that quantity doesn't outweigh quality.
So keep that positive mindset and screen these women hard based on what you are compatible with and what you aren't. Dating is time consuming and expensive if you let it be. Focus on the women who have the qualities you're looking for and realize that you'll find better and upgrade more than not.

Happy Hunting

An abundance mindset just simply means (in my opinion) that you are a man with options..so much so that the effect of losing one (or however many) of your options doesn't effect you as much as it would if your options were scarce.

Within those options there will always be some better than others, but that's what is expected considering there are so many variables as what these options bring to the table and how beneficial they are to you.

But in a nut shell, if you have 12 women in your rotation and for whatever reason you lose two, you probably won't be effected as much as losing 2 if you only had 5.

How effected you are by a loss, is relative to how many you have to lose...even if quality is considered.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Good post. Honestly an abundance mindset has everything to do with solidity of self. If you are solid alone then you have the ability to exercise patience & judgement when choosing to spend your time with a woman, and you'll hone what is acceptable and what isn't in a woman who you reward with your time.

This is a very different mindset than a guy who is looking to fill some need in himself or validate himself through sex or association with beauty.

Sexual needs from a physiological standpoint are certainly valid, but sex just for sake of sex and conquest for sake of conquest is going to get old after a while. It will not bring fulfillment.

Therefore real abundance is internal. It is internally validated and unconcerned with external influences.

I agree with the quality quest. You see your time is your single most valuable and your single most limited asset. Those of you who are young and those of you who are struggling financially may not fully grasp that, but time is the thing you cannot create more of.

Therefore who you elect to spend time with is a very important choice. Prioritize yourself first and your own self care (physical/mental/spiritual) and then make wise choices about your time and the company you keep.

The people you surround yourself with can create chaos or create harmony....

 

[Vanderdonck]

Love the post. Over the years the abundance mindset for me has gone from a mantra to something that's just internalized and part of me. It's as natural to me as my right hand. (Har har.)

And I know that if I ever slip, I always have the tools ready to work on my mind. The affirmations, meditation, the knowledge that it will get better or when to take time to myself. Part of abundance is simply knowing that I can course correct when things get rough or slow. That goes for all phases, women are just a part of that.