About being less nice and not giving a f*ck

[skinnyguy]

6 months ago, I was on a date with an HB at a bar. This one AFC came up to her and started creepin on her, so I shoved him and threw my drink in his face. I thought this was pretty alpha, but she didn't and I never saw her again.

I am wondering what you guys think of my theory that not being nice only works for certain guys. We have all heard of guys posting on here saying to stop treating her like a princess, stop putting her on a pedestal, etc. Which I all agree with. But them some say you need to be outright selfish and be a borderline douche. For example, not paying for anything even if you ask her on a date, if she asks you for a favor deny every time, not opening doors, negging her all the time, and saying sarcastic things to her.

I think this would work for a bad guy with a shaved head and tattoos. But for a nerdy Asian engineer? If he did this, he wouldn't even get his foot in the door with girls because they'd call him an a**hole. Meanwhile, the drug dealer is perceived as attractive for doing the same things, because he has the bad boy persona.

Not trying to be a White Knight here. I'm not advocating for guys to buy girls things and be a doormat. I'm just saying that going all out "jerk" can be counterproductive if you're not super Alpha. The theory here is that it makes you MORE alpha, which I'm not sure is true, but I've seen this backfire when I try it.

Ok, I've had enough of this mental masturbation. Off to watching the Daily Show.

 

[Beetlesales]

notsureifsrs.jpg

Seriously though, you have no clue what it means to stand up for yourself around women.

It has absolutely nothing to do with being a douche, or throwing drinks in people's faces.

You need to have your "own" life, outside of the relationship. This is what females truly want.. It shows you can be happy without her in your life, and you are holding your hand out and asking her if she wants to come along for the ride. This masculine energy makes her feel feminine. Take the lead, and the female will follow.

In regards to showing her how manly you are. Have a healthy debate with her some times, don't agree on every point, and make sure you have your own personal views about things.. She will respect you for this.

A careless douche bag only gets so far. But being a masculine, alpha male with a side of douchiness will make you a king.

 

[skinnyguy]

notsureifsrs.jpg

Seriously though, you have no clue what it means to stand up for yourself around women.

It has absolutely nothing to do with being a douche, or throwing drinks in people's faces.

You need to have your "own" life, outside of the relationship. This is what females truly want.. It shows you can be happy without her in your life, and you are holding your hand out and asking her if she wants to come along for the ride. This masculine energy makes her feel feminine. Take the lead, and the female will follow.

In regards to showing her how manly you are. Have a healthy debate with her some times, don't agree on every point, and make sure you have your own personal views about things.. She will respect you for this.

A careless douche bag only gets so far. But being a masculine, alpha male with a side of douchiness will make you a king.

I agree with most of this. The only thing is, I'm not sure that having a life of your own will attract women by itself.

I kno a lot of IT people in the Silicon Valley who have their own lives, money, etc. Yet they cannot pull tail to save their lives. If they walk into the club people will overlook them for the druggie or the big black athlete.

I think what you're doing in your life and who's in your social circle is much more key than your attitude. A person who's a club promoter with tons of friends will get more pvssy than the engineer who is making 200K because of his lifestyle. The engineer might be incredibly confident, but no one will bat an eye at him compared to the other guy.

I think that the much better advice (rather than saying be "confident") would be to get a really cool job that makes you high status because then you have access to a bigger, cooler social circle.

At the end of the day, confidence alone won't get you anywhere. Girls care MUCH more about who you are on the outside than the inside. This has been proven millions of times throughout history, such as when HB 9's are seem dating professional athletes who have multiple groupies, or an abusive guy with a criminal rapsheet.

 

[logicallefty]

Skinny I think there is some truth to your theory.

Certain "alpha" actions are better accepted by certain men doing them because of how they look on the outside VS. if those save exact "alpha" actions were done by a less alpha looking man... Is that your point?

I can't say I support throwing a drink in a guy's face though.

In your situation if the AFC was really being a pest, and sounds like he was, I might have looked at my date, looked at my phone, and said

"Hey my a$$ just sent me a text message. It tells me that that table over there (point to new spot) has more comfortable chairs than here. We (as in you and your a$$) are moving over there want to join us?". Make sure Mr. AFC hears you too.

 

[Tictac]

Women perceive you acting in your own best interest as 'being a jerk'.

You don't need to do anything more than that.

 

[johnywhite17]

How is throwing a drink in some guys face because he was "creeping" alpha? That sounds like a beta white knight trying to win a girl by "defending her honor." Your lucky you didn't get the **** kicked out of you.

 

[Krueg]

Honestly, I think throwing your drink in some guys face was pretty rude and made you look small. You over reacted and out of rage threw your drink at him!? A Don Juan would of laughed and joked about it, your with her and she's with you. You have to control your emotions next time!

Your having the wrong attitude. Women do not bring happiness to your life. They are a companion that follows you by your side. Like your Dog for example!! Women with high interest follow your lead, get rid of women who have low interests! They all come and go, follow your dreams and passions! Improve YOU, you only got one life...

 

[Beetlesales]

I agree with most of this. The only thing is, I'm not sure that having a life of your own will attract women by itself.

I kno a lot of IT people in the Silicon Valley who have their own lives, money, etc. Yet they cannot pull tail to save their lives. If they walk into the club people will overlook them for the druggie or the big black athlete.

I think what you're doing in your life and who's in your social circle is much more key than your attitude. A person who's a club promoter with tons of friends will get more pvssy than the engineer who is making 200K because of his lifestyle. The engineer might be incredibly confident, but no one will bat an eye at him compared to the other guy.

I think that the much better advice (rather than saying be "confident") would be to get a really cool job that makes you high status because then you have access to a bigger, cooler social circle.

At the end of the day, confidence alone won't get you anywhere. Girls care MUCH more about who you are on the outside than the inside. This has been proven millions of times throughout history, such as when HB 9's are seem dating professional athletes who have multiple groupies, or an abusive guy with a criminal rapsheet.

Why would you change career paths simply to score females? That sounds like a pretty stupid idea to me..

Overall, happiness is NOT gained by having a female in your life. Trust me, been there, done that.

Happiness comes from within yourself, and is derived from the core. It's not affected by a third party (female in your life, new job, money, etc)

Not to brag, but I've owned 6 vehicles in my life, tons of toys, had loads of money, good looks, all of that.. I thought having a nice Jaguar and a pocket full of a hundreds would turn me into some macho, alpha male. And in turn would catch me loads of pusssy.. Boy, let me tell you, that was the opposite of the truth.

At 23 years of age, all it did was make me depressed, and lonely.. and I was on the verge of suicide when I finally lost both my money and the girl I was chasing.

Believe in yourself and what you do, and the women will follow. Life is about chasing your purpose. Not about pleasing others.

 

[Pardner]

6 months ago, I was on a date with an HB at a bar. This one AFC came up to her and started creepin on her, so I shoved him and threw my drink in his face. I thought this was pretty alpha, but she didn't and I never saw her again.

This is pretty beta and is why you never saw her again.

Alphas don't act this way.

 

[mangotot]

That was a waste of a good drink.

 

[Mike32ct]

OP: I agree with your theory completely. I've said it myself a few times. Women will only let certain guys get away with (and benefit) from douchbag behavior.

If you don't look like a bad boy, you won't benefit from hardcore douchy behavior. You will actually make women despise you and possibly make yourself a target of a real bad boy who decides to white knight for her.

There are two types of a$sholes according to women.

1. The bad boy as$hole who turns her on.

2. The nice gentle looking guy who acts like as$hole that she despises and would never want to F.

 

[Mr Wright]

Yes, you have to be congruent. Whether you like it or not, people will have a certain first impression of you and expect you to act as someone who fits that role. It's actually attractive to slot out of that role and not conform to the stereotype but only if you do it slowly. If you shock someone out of that perceived stereotype, it's too much too soon.

Remember play to that first impression but slowly work your way out of it. I do it with girls all the time and it's a sure fire way to get them interested. That's why when these "alpha" douche's show a bit of a soft side these girls cling to that like a leeche, just do that but the opposite. But no throwing drinks, you're not a woman.

Also this just highlights my view that guys on here are not socially intelligent. Hang out with girls more, you'll pick up on the things they do and don't like.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Women perceive you acting in your own best interest as 'being a jerk'.

You don't need to do anything more than that.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Tictac again.

 

[VikingKing]

Women perceive you acting in your own best interest as 'being a jerk'.

You don't need to do anything more than that.

Yup. You dont be a jerk by your standards, but by a womans standards.

Simply not trying to please her, supplicating, or putting her on a pedestal (which is the norm, they are used to this) is being a jerk.

You don't have to be mean or rude.

For example at this job I had, there was this cute mexican girl. She would get a visit from every beta at work. Now me, I was very professional and not rude but not friendly.

She always tried to get my attention by making i contact, smiling at me. When I didnt reciprocate she would give me this "sad face" look, like I was being a jerk. Really I was just being professional and focusing on my work. But she was used to guys coming and chatting her up (and drooling all over her).

 

[hudpes]

What tictac said, plus, be a man and let her be a woman. Open doors for her, you gently but firmly lead, let he follow, decide where to go, don't ask, sit at a table you like, don't ask her opinion, but don't cross the line to bossy. Other than that, it's all about what you want and if she's not coming along for the ride with you, she's out, you won't even remember her name the next day. That's the mentality.

 

[Darth]

Be yourself. Hopefully yourself is a total bad@ss. If it's not, you become the nerdy guy trying to be a bad@ss.

Remember, if it doesn't come from deep within, it's no good. Building up a fake external shell is no good.

Throwing the drink in the guy's face is not going to impress the doll; it's going to make her think you're a total poser. Which you are at this point.

 

[Tictac]

Throwing a drink in a guy's face is about a fem a move as you can make.

 

[zekko]

Throwing a drink in a guy's face is about a fem a move as you can make.

That's what I was thinking, isn't throwing a drink in a guy's face a chick move? Something a girl would do.

Also agree the OP severely overreacted. Not to mention, do that to the wrong person and you might end up dead.

 

[In2theGame]

Women perceive you acting in your own best interest as 'being a jerk'.

You don't need to do anything more than that.

This simple statement is true. Basically if you dont bend to what she wants, Your being a jerk lol.

 

[skinnyguy]

Skinny I think there is some truth to your theory.

Certain "alpha" actions are better accepted by certain men doing them because of how they look on the outside VS. if those save exact "alpha" actions were done by a less alpha looking man... Is that your point?

I can't say I support throwing a drink in a guy's face though.

In your situation if the AFC was really being a pest, and sounds like he was, I might have looked at my date, looked at my phone, and said

"Hey my a$$ just sent me a text message. It tells me that that table over there (point to new spot) has more comfortable chairs than here. We (as in you and your a$$) are moving over there want to join us?". Make sure Mr. AFC hears you too.

I would think that not doing anything and letting him feel up my girl would be beta, but ok lol.

I know I shouldn't have done it, I was drunk. Girl was an HB 5 so it didn't really matter to me.

Yes, you're spot on. Let me summarize.

Alpha says "nice azz" to a girl on Instagram: he's "hot"
Beta says "nice azz" to a girl on Instagram: he's "creepy"