Is it time to leave, or am I abandoning the ship too early?
I’m 28 years old. Met my girlfriend at a club three years ago. She is 7 years my senior. She was my only ****budy for four months and slowly developed into my oneitis. 18 months later our son was born. And three months after that we moved out of town and rented a small house in conjunction with a horse ranch. Reason being she’s big on horses and our living situation then wasn’t sustainable. She bought two horses at the time he was three months and a couple of months later she had three. Can’t believe I allowed this but I could never imagine how extremely timeconsumeing horses are. I worked two jobs to pay for the bills and the horses. In december last year I decided to quit one job and keep the other one (as a musician working weekends). What happened was that I suddenly took care of the baby all day everyday except for when I was gigging. She in the meantime took care of her horses.
Around new years I decided to start working on my own music again, which I had put aside when she got pregnant. She completely freaked out, saying I had betrayed her, claiming I had promised to give up music when we decided to have a kid, which of course I had not said. What I did say was that I was tired of touring and that life wasn’t for me. I deeply regret saying this, feeling guilty to possibly have drawn her into false belief that I would never tour again.
She voiced the whole spectrum of mustrust, said she hated me, was gonna leaving me, all that stuff. These tantrums came and went for the rest of this winter and spring, whenever we had an argument basically.
Good God I wish I found the manosphere earlier. My realisations are: We’ve built this castle in an ocean of quicksand. I had a picture in mind of how a family worked and was formed, fed to me from childhood. I believed every kink could be ironed out as we went, of course it’s not like that. We are very, very different in terms of values and interests.
A couple of months back she got an offer to rent the whole ranch and accepted it, starting July. Renting for money we basically don’t have, or she feels that I should supply. Don't know why I didn't say no to this, probably because I was tired of the whole situation couldn't think clearly.
since the beginning of this year the relationship has grown poisonous. It's a constant power struggle, who should work and who should take care of the baby. I’m trying to command the situation, but honestly she’s the most stubborn person I've ever met. Add to that that we are swedes, which almost by default means she’s a brainwashed feminist. Obviously I’ve ****ed up big time from the start. Only reason I’m hesitant to leave is our son, I love him endlessly and want him to have great childhood. I never had a father myself, which most likely explains my behavior on many levels. Anyway, should I fight this ****storm, just ****ing man up intending to be WITH HER trying to plug all the leaking holes, or leave a badly built sinking ship and man up without her. is There any chance of this working out? Grateful for insights and some common sense comments.
I’m 28 years old. Met my girlfriend at a club three years ago. She is 7 years my senior. She was my only ****budy for four months and slowly developed into my oneitis. 18 months later our son was born. And three months after that we moved out of town and rented a small house in conjunction with a horse ranch. Reason being she’s big on horses and our living situation then wasn’t sustainable. She bought two horses at the time he was three months and a couple of months later she had three. Can’t believe I allowed this but I could never imagine how extremely timeconsumeing horses are. I worked two jobs to pay for the bills and the horses. In december last year I decided to quit one job and keep the other one (as a musician working weekends). What happened was that I suddenly took care of the baby all day everyday except for when I was gigging. She in the meantime took care of her horses.
Around new years I decided to start working on my own music again, which I had put aside when she got pregnant. She completely freaked out, saying I had betrayed her, claiming I had promised to give up music when we decided to have a kid, which of course I had not said. What I did say was that I was tired of touring and that life wasn’t for me. I deeply regret saying this, feeling guilty to possibly have drawn her into false belief that I would never tour again.
She voiced the whole spectrum of mustrust, said she hated me, was gonna leaving me, all that stuff. These tantrums came and went for the rest of this winter and spring, whenever we had an argument basically.
Good God I wish I found the manosphere earlier. My realisations are: We’ve built this castle in an ocean of quicksand. I had a picture in mind of how a family worked and was formed, fed to me from childhood. I believed every kink could be ironed out as we went, of course it’s not like that. We are very, very different in terms of values and interests.
A couple of months back she got an offer to rent the whole ranch and accepted it, starting July. Renting for money we basically don’t have, or she feels that I should supply. Don't know why I didn't say no to this, probably because I was tired of the whole situation couldn't think clearly.
since the beginning of this year the relationship has grown poisonous. It's a constant power struggle, who should work and who should take care of the baby. I’m trying to command the situation, but honestly she’s the most stubborn person I've ever met. Add to that that we are swedes, which almost by default means she’s a brainwashed feminist. Obviously I’ve ****ed up big time from the start. Only reason I’m hesitant to leave is our son, I love him endlessly and want him to have great childhood. I never had a father myself, which most likely explains my behavior on many levels. Anyway, should I fight this ****storm, just ****ing man up intending to be WITH HER trying to plug all the leaking holes, or leave a badly built sinking ship and man up without her. is There any chance of this working out? Grateful for insights and some common sense comments.
