Abandoning friends

[wavejams007]

HOw do the rest of you handle abandonment of you by your friends in HS? It just seems lately that a lot of my close friends now have different interests as me, and we don't hang out anymore. Even some of my best friends seem to always have something else to do when I want to hang out with them, and they don't invite me much to do anything with them. Whenever I invite them, there are a million excuses why they can't do anything.

Any suggestions as to what to do in this situation? My best bet is to just widen my circle of friends although I have a ton of friends already.

Man, being left out of the loop really sucks.

 

[SL1CK]

Stay out of the loop hole...be your own man...one day they'll come running back, and then you can reject them...success is the best revenge ... :kick:

 

[blind1]

Originally posted by SL1CK
Stay out of the loop hole...be your own man...one day they'll come running back, and then you can reject them...success is the best revenge ... :kick:

+1 be your own man

 

[j8snx1]

I agree that it does suck to be left out of the loop, and I got that a lot back then, and sometimes even now. But one way to solve this issue is by making new friends, or patching up the friendships with other people you ignored in order to try to hang out with the friends that are rejecting you now.

If they abandon you that way then they're not friends, simple as that. Make new buddies and return the favor to your so called "friends" when they invite you out with your new excuse: "im busy with MY friends."

 

[Docs]

I have lost a lot of friends to abondonment.

In the end..no one really fucking cares about you, it's all them.

Live and learn ^^,

 

[Boner da Stoner]

I find that having a tag along friend who just comments on whats going on is boring as hell!

Have you ever considered being exciting around them? Making jokes and partially being the reason why you and your friends hang out?

What do you invite your friends to do? Hang out?

 

[wavejams007]

I have one of the biggest senses ofhumor and am pretty exciting, although I don't like talking about my own qualities. Thing is, a lot of my friends are video game geeks, and I am not.

But I am going to just expand my friend circle.

Thanks

 

[ethnomethodologist]

What everybody said was true, thanks for your points of view, something for me to come back and think about in the future.

I am on opposite end of the spectrum, I WANT to abandon my friends right now. I want to leave them, because they are causing me pain, they are making me suffer for no reason at all, I ask them to stop, and they don't. I want to be stronger against all that they do to me, so I even ask them for advice, and they say the same things over and over again, about how its useless to even ask, how it's bull**** for me getting angry, and how they don't want to hear about it.

I am being selfsih is the message they are giving me. I am being selfish because I am not being nice to them as much as I possibly can be, they are telling me the truth.

So wavejams, how do you deal with people that mek you angry in your life, and how do they get what they want after you tell them to get out of your face?

 

[wavejams007]

Well, I am not the easiest person to make angry, but when people do piss me off, they had generally get away from me, cuz I will be physical about it, except towards women, but Ialways wait for them to take the first punch so as to act out of self-defense.

I think a balance need s to be found where you have several circles of friends, close friends, good friends, drinking buddies, general friends, and all the rest.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Sorry for pvssy footing around you there buddy. I didn't mean to say it in such a nice way that you got confused about what I really had to say.

I have balance, an extremely huge comlex dynamic social balance. You would go crazy if i dumped my thoughts into your brain all at the same time, and vice versa. I've got many friends, they can only get better from here though, I am friends with the low lifes, the scoundrels, the people who have problems, real problems, I am compassionate, I care about them, I don't want them to leave me. I reject girls, a lot, I have no problems with them, I could probably take a few lessons from myself on how to be nice, but still reject what I don't want. Slow and steady, well, fast and steady, I'm going to be the rabbit, finish the race, and help make the turtle run faster to the finish line.

Towards women, I only act in self-defense, true self-defense, I make them stop, without TRYING to hurt them. sometimes their wrists get sore, because they are punching me, I push on their foreheads when they try to bite me, I hold them down if they won't stop. If I have the chance, and they don't have other girls trying to beat me up as well(I don't believe I have this problem anymore since coming to this site though, I don't make the girls AS angry as I used to when I was almost completely wrong and trying to be nice to them while still lying), I unleash the tickle monster inside of me. My favourite solution for a female, I can handle them, up to a point, until they get truly abusive, and I am afraid of letting them be abusive, because one day I may not be able to hold myself back. I am afraid of myself, so when they get abusive, I tell them why I am leaving them, because I am afraid of me overreacting and hurting them. So I could, if I tried, apply this to males as well, past the point though, just call it damage contrrol with the girls and guys about the gettting physically angry, caveman style.

I was wondering about how you handle them WITH WORDS! How do you make people stop trying to hurt you, to stop wasting my time, with useless bull****? They waste my time, they try to get money from me, they ask anad ask and ask and ask, sometimes I just give in, to make them stop. If I was overlavish on them, I bet they would just keep wanting more, and never learning a lesson themselves. So how do I teach them a lesson, with my words?



Docs, I finally found my question.















How do I make them stop bothering me, with my words, without making anybody angry, without making THEM want to use physical force, AND without lying to myself at the same time?

 

[wavejams007]

this was more of a rant on my part than anything else. I was mad with some friends at the time I wrote this.

Ethno, I thought you were being sarcastic, but I sometimes struggle detecting sarcasm online.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

*pats wavejams on the back* Well goes to show what happens when I ask an 18 year old for advice. G'bye friend, I'll talk to you again, when you start to care.

To end on a high note, to make me happier, I have never lied on this board, without reason. If you cannot see the reason, I try to say it again, some people never learn, so I try to find the ones that do.

 

[Docs]

How do I make them stop bothering me, with my words, without making anybody angry, without making THEM want to use physical force, AND without lying to myself at the same time?

Being bluntly honest. You don't like them to abuse you, so you tell them that. They'll ask why, and you mention a little thing about how it hurts you and makes you angry.

I have to ask however, what is the reason girls bite, and how they 'abuse' you. It may very well be within yourself that they seek such actions. What I mean by that, is that you may be inviting the abuse and not realizing it yourself, then when it happens, shit starts rolling...

Just talk to me, tell me a story of how you met someone, and it turned into what you dislike now. Tell me everything you can think of, names, events, friends, problems. It is from stories that I excell at finding out the problems within. What you do, what they do, what everyone else does, and the personalities behind them tell a undeniable story.

I also read onwards, and they pester you for items they do not have, and stop at nothing to obtain them. I have this feeling that you are indeed dealing with the people you shouldn't be, for normal people have better things to do then to knock down those above them. But for the meantime, if you say something, be prepared to stand by it, because there's no use saying no if you'll give in because of consistent pestering like you have been. Even jsut walking away sends a message, and real people see their error, weaker uncaring people won't change.

Learn to change, learn to take control, learn to walk away and to let words backed with action (or the inaction) influence your life. If your friends cannot accept that you are of higher stance, and persist in bringing you down, I would take a serious reconsideration at what you are in, and how you can get out. But tell me the story, for that holds greater information.

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
*pats wavejams on the back* Well goes to show what happens when I ask an 18 year old for advice. G'bye friend, I'll talk to you again, when you start to care.

To end on a high note, to make me happier, I have never lied on this board, without reason. If you cannot see the reason, I try to say it again, some people never learn, so I try to find the ones that do.

sorry, but i am lost. R U saying idon't care? and also, the last part, what do you mean by that?

Not really being defensive, but at least to me you aren't making sense.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Yeah I'm saying you don't care, but somplaining about it, will only make me a loser. I care if you don't care, and I am saying you don't and in real life, you would laugh at me, I'm ****ing getting soft again, and I hate it. I am not being compassionate about what is bothering you.

How's this, you are a retard for asking me a question, and not meaning it. I answered you, and you wasted my time. I thought I was helping, and now your walking away.

How do I deal with people like you? That is what I was trying to ask, it has been years since I've been asking, nobody can every give me the answer, no matter which way I ask. Asking over and over again, is one of the ways I asked, make em angry, mix up the words, ask myself, it just never works.

YTou thought I was being sarcatic, so I told you, I don't lie blatantly to make fun of you. Sarcasm means I make an ironic statement, meant to tease you, If I do it, you will know, and you will respond, so I can test the subject, obviously I failed in the manner I was speaking to you.

So I said afterwards, why talk to an 18 year old, when this belongs in the mature man forum. I have solved you problem, time and time again, I got angry, and started questioning myself, I got sidetracked and thought you knew what I was talking about. Thanks after all, gfor revealing that you are still young, and that you have a lot to learn, so am I, but we are from different worlds.

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
Yeah I'm saying you don't care, but somplaining about it, will only make me a loser. I care if you don't care, and I am saying you don't and in real life, you would laugh at me, I'm ****ing getting soft again, and I hate it. I am not being compassionate about what is bothering you.

How's this, you are a retard for asking me a question, and not meaning it. I answered you, and you wasted my time. I thought I was helping, and now your walking away.

How do I deal with people like you? That is what I was trying to ask, it has been years since I've been asking, nobody can every give me the answer, no matter which way I ask. Asking over and over again, is one of the ways I asked, make em angry, mix up the words, ask myself, it just never works.

YTou thought I was being sarcatic, so I told you, I don't lie blatantly to make fun of you. Sarcasm means I make an ironic statement, meant to tease you, If I do it, you will know, and you will respond, so I can test the subject, obviously I failed in the manner I was speaking to you.

So I said afterwards, why talk to an 18 year old, when this belongs in the mature man forum. I have solved you problem, time and time again, I got angry, and started questioning myself, I got sidetracked and thought you knew what I was talking about. Thanks after all, gfor revealing that you are still young, and that you have a lot to learn, so am I, but we are from different worlds.

Dude, you can say I don't care if it makes you feel better, but it is a lie. I do care. Why are you in the HS section anyways?

Dude, to me it sounds like you are dealing with some personal issues, andI am probably not the best person to help you cuz U R still confusing me.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by Docs
Being bluntly honest. You don't like them to abuse you, so you tell them that. They'll ask why, and you mention a little thing about how it hurts you and makes you angry.

I have to ask however, what is the reason girls bite, and how they 'abuse' you. It may very well be within yourself that they seek such actions. What I mean by that, is that you may be inviting the abuse and not realizing it yourself, then when it happens, shit starts rolling...

Just talk to me, tell me a story of how you met someone, and it turned into what you dislike now. Tell me everything you can think of, names, events, friends, problems. It is from stories that I excell at finding out the problems within. What you do, what they do, what everyone else does, and the personalities behind them tell a undeniable story.

I also read onwards, and they pester you for items they do not have, and stop at nothing to obtain them. I have this feeling that you are indeed dealing with the people you shouldn't be, for normal people have better things to do then to knock down those above them. But for the meantime, if you say something, be prepared to stand by it, because there's no use saying no if you'll give in because of consistent pestering like you have been. Even jsut walking away sends a message, and real people see their error, weaker uncaring people won't change.

Learn to change, learn to take control, learn to walk away and to let words backed with action (or the inaction) influence your life. If your friends cannot accept that you are of higher stance, and persist in bringing you down, I would take a serious reconsideration at what you are in, and how you can get out. But tell me the story, for that holds greater information.

It wasn't meant in the first place for this purpose. We are great friends, but it is turning out towards where you are going Docs. I solved the abuse problem a long time ago, by unleshing the tickle monster inside of me. So THAT problem you just asked me about is now past. I said it, sorry if you missed that point. I am making a thread about the subject though. About the problem I have been discussing with you, my feelings are raw, and my actions are the most precise they have evr been. My sense have been fine tuned since new years, and I could probably make you a very excited person to know this, but I don't REALLY care, yet.

I will tell you when I am finished writing the thread though, and I will tell you if I was able to solve my problem. I think the whole area is about me, not wasting my time anymore.

one of my many problems

I insult my friend, by not showing him this website. I insult all of my friends, I don't want to show anybody anything they don't want to see or hear about... I have a lot to learn, that is why I am angry, it is towards me... ****in ****


"think hudini" "think ethno" "don't reveal your secrets TOO soon"

 

[Docs]

Alright, I look forward to reading it, remember to send me the link via PM.

Oh, and no one needs to know about this site, you don't need it, I don't need it.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by Docs
Alright, I look forward to reading it, remember to send me the link via PM.

Oh, and no one needs to know about this site, you don't need it, I don't need it.

Lol your right, I hope you read this as well wavejams. I was hella jaded, stupid as hell if you ask me. I just checked out how OLD this thread was, I am SOOOO sorry dude. You were right, I guess I was just venting, any time ANYBODY ever gets angry at you, just remember it's only because they are angry at themselves. You are the only person that really matters, well that is a lie. If they get mad at you, they are usually lacking somewhere, that they should have dealt with the problem already. I've learned a lot of lessons in my last 170 something posts, I wouldn't trade them for the world, I sure look back at some of them and see how self centered I was though. I was lying to ymself, that I was intelligent, and calling you guys out, omigod, I already knew the answer to my question, I wish I wasn't taking it out on you guys.

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

"In your whole life nobody has abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else."

-Don Miguel Ruiz-