A woman's perspective [Mod: Moved from MM]

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LadyMD

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I've been reading this forum for the past day and a half, partly as an excuse to avoid studying for finals and partly out of curiosity. I think this forum is kind of brilliant because you never really see men discussing this otherwise, and I agree with a lot of the philosophies espoused here...but some others kind of make me sad.

Full disclosure, so you know what kind of perspective you're getting here: I'm a college student and 21 years old, but not even remotely resembling the image that just jumped into your mind. I'm not a sorority wh0re, I don't go to frat parties, I don't play head games and I managed to work out my adolescent self-esteem issues a while ago and now have a pretty healthy self-image. I'm a serious pre-med student who rarely drinks, is into sports but not the wild girl lifestyle, and is saving herself for marriage.

I'm posting in the "Mature Man" section because this is pretty much the only demographic that I'm interested in, i.e. you are the only ones I'm interested in talking to about my perspective - or rather, the perspective of women like me.

I know that "good girls" aren't the type discussed on this site much, but I'm going to try and speak for them. Keep this for future reference, like ten years down the road or whatever.

#1: Most of us don't want guys with typical DJ traits, i.e. *******s. There's a myth that good girls seek out bad boys, but that is not true. When good girls seek out bad boys, you're actually dealing with a girl who is repressed, not a girl who has voluntarily chosen to hold herself to a higher standard. Huge difference. For me, a good girl is someone who checked out the bad boy in high school, was unimpressed, and decided she would wait for a gentleman instead. That sort of leads me to my second point...

#2: Not all good girls are repressed. I admit we're not that innocent and we do have fantasies (amazing fantasies, in fact), but we're not frustrated and we're not just dying to be seduced unless it's by the gentleman we've been holding out for. Many of us are fairly dignified women with self-respect and we're interested and engaged in our lives.

I think there's a popular misconception that good girls are boring, lead unfulfilling lives, and will make boring wives. I don't know what kind of girls you've been hanging out with, but I can promise you that being good and being fun company are not mutually exclusive. I really think you guys don't know much about women if you think that good women can't be exciting company.

#3: We are not into men who have a storied sexual history. I can say that I'm turned off when I find out that a guy has a history of being a player or has had lots of sexual partners. It makes me doubt his ability to commit. I wonder if he has issues with trust, or if he knows what love really means. If I have held myself to high standards, so I expect the same thing from my boyfriend. I'm not saying you have to be a virgin, because that's totally unrealistic, but good girls prefer men who are selective. If you've banged tons of girls and enjoyed it, I'm going to assume that you'll never get used to being exclusive and therefore will probably cheat.

Also, I hate imagining my man in bed with another girl, just as most men would hate imagining their girl in another man's arms.

#4: Different kinds of alphas work for different kinds of women. There is an alpha type that works for us, but it's not the type that popularly discussed on this site. Put simply, good girls are looking for a good man. Someone who is dominant, masculine, self-assured, all of that, but also just a fundamentally good person. Do you treat everyone with respect, even people who work for you? Are you responsible and kind? Do you have goals and do you work hard?

Notice the difference between Nice Guy/AFC and a Good Man. Even good girls don't want an AFC, but we do want a Good Man. Men like these are a sexual turn-on, literally. Sexual turn-on. Why? Because good moral character is beautiful. Besides, I know that if a Good Man wants me, it's because he held himself to a high standard and I met that standard. Gaining his admiration is more valuable, because his admiration means more.

Anyway, I hope that didn't come off as a lecture. I just wanted to speak for women like me. I know we're a minority, but I was a little shocked by some of the attitudes/misconceptions about women on this forum, and decided to post. Anyway carry on, gentlemen!
 

LadyMD

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That was actually a really thoughtful reply. Maybe I got a mistaken impression about this site, but I've seen so many threads that talk about cheating, boring good girls, only one type of "game", and just really shallow interests in general, that I wondered if maybe some people had a different idea of what a "DJ" is than I do. Plus, there seems to a majority of threads that focus on some of the worst traits women have - not in the sexual sense but more in the selfish, untrustworthy, "they all play mind games" sense.
 

FairShake

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LadyMD said:
#1: Most of us don't want guys with typical DJ traits, i.e. *******s.
To be fair, the kind of woman who sleeps with guys easily like *******s. And that's the kind of woman the guys on here want.
 

Iceberg

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LadyMD said:
That was actually a really thoughtful reply. Maybe I got a mistaken impression about this site, but I've seen so many threads that talk about cheating, boring good girls, only one type of "game", and just really shallow interests in general, that I wondered if maybe some people had a different idea of what a "DJ" is than I do.
It's interesting that you see those things. I've been part of this site for a while, and if anything, it seems like most of the less-experienced guys would love to have a boring good girl, and lack the ability to cheat because they aren't particularly good with women (yet).

Most of the threads I see, at least in the main forum, are from guys who have been cheated on or dumped by girls who they've bored the hell out of. And they're whining about how all girls are party girls or cheaters, or always looking to upgrade their man.

Rare is the post where I see a guy saying, "You know, I'm in a healthy relationship with a good girl, but I'm bored and I'm considering cheating."

I've SEEN them...but that's like 10% vs the 90% of posts about being dumped, etc.

Sure, there are some guys just looking to get laid...depending on how I'm feeling on a given week, I might be one of those guys....but I like to think of this site as being about becoming a better man. Not becoming a "player." Not about "game." Becoming a man who embraces his masculinity, instead of repressing it, as many of us mistakenly did for years of our lives.

Plus, there seems to a majority of threads that focus on some of the worst traits women have - not in the sexual sense but more in the selfish, untrustworthy, "they all play mind games" sense.
Yeah, well, that's the type of thing that would bring you to a site like this. If everything in your life were fine and dandy, guys wouldn't be here. There's not much conversation that's going to come from "Hey guys, I just wanted to stop by and say that everything is just great."

I'm 30 now...I probably started coming here when I was 18. And it took me about 4-5 years to actually learn how to break through those mind games. Now that I (kind of) know what I'm doing, I don't have many complaints to vent about, but I can help others with their issues.
 

Zunder

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LadyMD said:
I've been reading this forum for the past day and a half, partly as an excuse to avoid studying for finals and partly out of curiosity. I think this forum is kind of brilliant because you never really see men discussing this otherwise, and I agree with a lot of the philosophies espoused here...but some others kind of make me sad.

Full disclosure, so you know what kind of perspective you're getting here: I'm a college student and 21 years old, but not even remotely resembling the image that just jumped into your mind. I'm not a sorority wh0re, I don't go to frat parties, I don't play head games and I managed to work out my adolescent self-esteem issues a while ago and now have a pretty healthy self-image. I'm a serious pre-med student who rarely drinks, is into sports but not the wild girl lifestyle, and is saving herself for marriage.

I'm posting in the "Mature Man" section because this is pretty much the only demographic that I'm interested in, i.e. you are the only ones I'm interested in talking to about my perspective - or rather, the perspective of women like me.

I know that "good girls" aren't the type discussed on this site much, but I'm going to try and speak for them. Keep this for future reference, like ten years down the road or whatever.

#1: Most of us don't want guys with typical DJ traits, i.e. *******s. There's a myth that good girls seek out bad boys, but that is not true. When good girls seek out bad boys, you're actually dealing with a girl who is repressed, not a girl who has voluntarily chosen to hold herself to a higher standard. Huge difference. For me, a good girl is someone who checked out the bad boy in high school, was unimpressed, and decided she would wait for a gentleman instead. That sort of leads me to my second point...

#2: Not all good girls are repressed. I admit we're not that innocent and we do have fantasies (amazing fantasies, in fact), but we're not frustrated and we're not just dying to be seduced unless it's by the gentleman we've been holding out for. Many of us are fairly dignified women with self-respect and we're interested and engaged in our lives.

I think there's a popular misconception that good girls are boring, lead unfulfilling lives, and will make boring wives. I don't know what kind of girls you've been hanging out with, but I can promise you that being good and being fun company are not mutually exclusive. I really think you guys don't know much about women if you think that good women can't be exciting company.

#3: We are not into men who have a storied sexual history. I can say that I'm turned off when I find out that a guy has a history of being a player or has had lots of sexual partners. It makes me doubt his ability to commit. I wonder if he has issues with trust, or if he knows what love really means. If I have held myself to high standards, so I expect the same thing from my boyfriend. I'm not saying you have to be a virgin, because that's totally unrealistic, but good girls prefer men who are selective. If you've banged tons of girls and enjoyed it, I'm going to assume that you'll never get used to being exclusive and therefore will probably cheat.

Also, I hate imagining my man in bed with another girl, just as most men would hate imagining their girl in another man's arms.

#4: Different kinds of alphas work for different kinds of women. There is an alpha type that works for us, but it's not the type that popularly discussed on this site. Put simply, good girls are looking for a good man. Someone who is dominant, masculine, self-assured, all of that, but also just a fundamentally good person. Do you treat everyone with respect, even people who work for you? Are you responsible and kind? Do you have goals and do you work hard?

Notice the difference between Nice Guy/AFC and a Good Man. Even good girls don't want an AFC, but we do want a Good Man. Men like these are a sexual turn-on, literally. Sexual turn-on. Why? Because good moral character is beautiful. Besides, I know that if a Good Man wants me, it's because he held himself to a high standard and I met that standard. Gaining his admiration is more valuable, because his admiration means more.

Anyway, I hope that didn't come off as a lecture. I just wanted to speak for women like me. I know we're a minority, but I was a little shocked by some of the attitudes/misconceptions about women on this forum, and decided to post. Anyway carry on, gentlemen!
Id say this is typical female horsesh!t.

I almost stopped reading when I read "I'm saving myself for marriage". I take it that "saving yourself" means "sexually" saving yourself.

So already you are using your pvssy as some sort of prize that only a certain man will get to pump once he has qualified himself as worthy of your pvssy via marriage. If that man doesn't meet the "my ***** is on lockdown till marriage" crap you have laid down, then "he;s not for you" right, because he "won't wait".

Go back to whatever idiot church you belong to that would infiltrate the mind of an otherwise healthy individual with their idiotic repressive attitude towards human sexuality. Your not in the real world girl.
 

backbreaker

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Most of us don't want guys with typical DJ traits, i.e. *******s
i stopped reading right there. the truth is you are just as confused about what a "DJ Trait" is.

the rest of the post wasn't worth my time. not to be a jerk or anything it just isn't. not going to spend 30 minutes refuting something that someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
 

LadyMD

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Zunder said:
Id say this is typical female horsesh!t.

I almost stopped reading when I read "I'm saving myself for marriage". I take it that "saving yourself" means "sexually" saving yourself.

So already you are using your pvssy as some sort of prize that only a certain man will get to pump once he has qualified himself as worthy of your pvssy via marriage. If that man doesn't meet the "my ***** is on lockdown till marriage" crap you have laid down, then "he;s not for you" right, because he "won't wait".

Go back to whatever idiot church you belong to that would infiltrate the mind of an otherwise healthy individual with their idiotic repressive attitude towards human sexuality. Your not in the real world girl.
Posts like these, which I've seen around this site in past day and a half, are what I'm talking about. You think you've got women figured out, but you don't. I'm not talking about every member of this forum, just people who think like this poster.

i stopped reading right there. the truth is you are just as confused about what a "DJ Trait" is.

the rest of the post wasn't worth my time. not to be a jerk or anything it just isn't. not going to spend 30 minutes refuting something that someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
Fair enough, maybe I was reading threads that had posts written by shallow *******s who thought they were exhibiting DJ traits. That's entirely possible since I only found this site yesterday, so I apologize if I offended.
 

Von_S

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I've been getting "A woman's perspective" for coming up 30 years now. Whenever I see a blog post or have a conversation where a woman wants to tell me "What women really think" I seriously can't run away fast enough.

You frankly don't know; you all say one thing, do another; desire something and behave in a way to never achieve it. Its contradictory, so please save the advice and take it somewhere some AFC's will read it, ooohh and ahh over you and talk about how "different" you are. I think you're probably looking for Facebook.
 

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LadyMD said:
Posts like these, which I've seen around this site in past day and a half, are what I'm talking about. You think you've got women figured out, but you don't. I'm not talking about every member of this forum, just people who think like this poster.



Fair enough, maybe I was reading threads that had posts written by shallow *******s who thought they were exhibiting DJ traits. That's entirely possible since I only found this site yesterday, so I apologize if I offended.
"You think youv'e got women figured out, but you don't na na na na naaaa".

First off your a kid with no life experience, you wouldn't know the first thing about relationships, you obviously are a religous nut with your "saving yourself for marriage" crap, and your op reeks because you are all high and almighty with your virginity so any girl that isn't like you is a "bad girl".

Go do some living then come back to MM and tell us the about the wisdom you have garnered.
 

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LadyMD,

Try not to categorize the men on this site into one specific group or specific mindset.

There are those who are merely looking for meaningless sex with every and any slvt (or hole) they can find. Many of these guys have little moral standards and would sell out even themselves for a mere taste.

Then there are others who are actually here to learn, grow and evolve into something better than they are. These guys place themselves above any sexual conquest or women.

If you stick around long enough you'll learn who is who and just how different each group views the world and approaches life.

Welcome to the forum and appreciate your views.

Thanks.

Slick
 

LadyMD

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Von_S said:
I've been getting "A woman's perspective" for coming up 30 years now. Whenever I see a blog post or have a conversation where a woman wants to tell me "What women really think" I seriously can't run away fast enough.

You frankly don't know; you all say one thing, do another; desire something and behave in a way to never achieve it. Its contradictory, so please save the advice and take it somewhere some AFC's will read it, ooohh and ahh over you and talk about how "different" you are. I think you're probably looking for Facebook.
As you please. If you're determined to think the world is divided into AFCs and whatever you think you are, and if you've decided that there is your perception of women (which is obviously right) and what women think they want (because women clearly don't know what they want, men do!), then by all means live your life that way.

Zunder said:
"You think youv'e got women figured out, but you don't na na na na naaaa".

First off your a kid with no life experience, you wouldn't know the first thing about relationships, you obviously are a religous nut with your "saving yourself for marriage" crap, and your op reeks because you are all high and almighty with your virginity so any girl that isn't like you is a "bad girl".

Go do some living then come back to MM and tell us the about the wisdom you have garnered.
This will be the last time I respond to you, because I think you're the one who is talking like a kid here, but I just want to clear up some assumptions for the benefit of others who might read this thread.

1) I'm an atheist, i.e. not a "religious nut". Believe it or not, not all virgins are church-going Republicans with narrow beliefs. And if you can't think of virginity beyond the sexual context, that's your problem, not mine. Many women who choose to wait think of sex as an expression of love. We're guarding our hearts, not using sex as a weapon to ensnare prey. But if you can't see beyond whatever it is that makes you sound bitter and ignorant, then I can't do anything about it.

2) I'm not high-and-mighty, and if you read that into my post, it probably says more about you than it does about me.

3) I don't divide the world into wh0res and ladies, as you seem to think. I was responding to (a) specific comments I've seen repeatedly on this forum regarding the supposed promiscuity of college girls, which is why I made the distinction between my behavior as a college girl and what many men seem to think college girls are like, and (b) after that specific comment about sorority girls, I did not refer once to so-called "bad girls" again. I spent the rest of the time talking only about my beliefs.

I feel like I'm talking into empty space and wasting my breath though, so I'm just going to end this here.
 

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LadyMD said:
As you please. If you're determined to think the world is divided into AFCs and whatever you think you are, and if you've decided that there is your perception of women (which is obviously right) and what women think they want (because women clearly don't know what they want, men do!), then by all means live your life that way.



This will be the last time I respond to you, because I think you're the one who is talking like a kid here, but I just want to clear up some assumptions for the benefit of others who might read this thread.

1) I'm an atheist, i.e. not a "religious nut". Believe it or not, not all virgins are church-going Republicans with narrow beliefs. And if you can't think of virginity beyond the sexual context, that's your problem, not mine. Many women who choose to wait think of sex as an expression of love. We're guarding our hearts, not using sex as a weapon to ensnare prey. But if you can't see beyond whatever it is that makes you sound bitter and ignorant, then I can't do anything about it.

2) I'm not high-and-mighty, and if you read that into my post, it probably says more about you than it does about me.

3) I don't divide the world into wh0res and ladies, as you seem to think. I was responding to (a) specific comments I've seen repeatedly on this forum regarding the supposed promiscuity of college girls, which is why I made the distinction between my behavior as a college girl and what many men seem to think college girls are like, and (b) after that specific comment about sorority girls, I did not refer once to so-called "bad girls" again. I spent the rest of the time talking only about my beliefs.

I feel like I'm talking into empty space and wasting my breath though, so I'm just going to end this here.

Replace "religous nut" then with "feminist nut".

And frankly kid, I couldn't give a flying fvck if you respond to my posts or not - you chose to post in a mens fourm, if you can't handle the heat then fvck off.
Simple.
 

bukowski_merit

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Why would an "atheist" put such a high value on marriage? Why buy into that when you won't buy into a religion?

That's almost as absurd as a female vrigin shaming a site for things it doesn't really do (or try's to tell us what most good girls want in a man; when most "good girls" have at least experienced some bodily pleasure brought on by the opposite sex in thir life).
 

backbreaker

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I'm an atheist... okay at the very most a diest, and I am happily married. very happily married actually.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

bukowski_merit

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LadyMD said:
We are not into men who have a storied sexual history.
Who are "we"? Who are you taking it upon yourself to speak for?


LadyMD said:
I can say that I'm turned off when I find out that a guy has a history of being a player or has had lots of sexual partners.
I don't believe that these type of guys have shown much interest in you for you to be "turned off" by them. If they aren't actively trying to get into your pants - you being "turned off" means nothing! Because you're just KJing as if they do.


LadyMD said:
It makes me doubt his ability to commit.
What does a virgin care about commitment? Really... If you're not giving it up to him without a ring - why worry about such stuff? Do you think a "player" is going to fake like he loves you, get married to you, and put up with all that stuff just to get what you have under there? :crackup:


LadyMD said:
I wonder if he has issues with trust, or if he knows what love really means.
How can a man know that you really know what love is? How can anybody be sure someone knows what love really means?


LadyMD said:
If I have held myself to high standards, so I expect the same thing from my boyfriend.
This is fine.




LadyMD said:
I'm not saying you have to be a virgin, because that's totally unrealistic, but good girls prefer men who are selective.
Ok, so earlier when i asked you who the "we" is that you claim to represent - I think the answer is: Good girls? So you're trying to speak for good girls? And how do you have a voice for anyone other than yourself?



LadyMD said:
If you've banged tons of girls and enjoyed it, I'm going to assume that you'll never get used to being exclusive and therefore will probably cheat.
This is a self-esteem issue with yourself!
 

Von_S

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Gentleman, can we just all agree to not feed the TROLL?
 

I'm in the Mood

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I believe that the majority of the people in the DJD forum don't know what the fvck they're talking about. Maybe that's because of all of the awful threads there. I get sick of scrolling through them because nearly every thread has some sort of bullshvt title and content, and little truth or lessons to be learned within. Nevertheless, there are gems on this site, and for people who are on a lower level, reading the perspective and beliefs of someone who "doesn't give a fvck" can be very liberating.

As for attraction, and the AFC --- Man --- Bad Boy spectrum; it's more than just being an a$$hole or a badboy. Awhile ago I heard a girl say that a trait she was attracted to in a bad boy was that, "They know how to get what they want!" To know how to get what you want, you must first know what you want. You need to know your IDENTITY, and develop your CHARACTER. Maybe this is what ultimately attracts women? Maybe this is why a man should become the man he wants to be by selecting his thoughts wisely, turning them into beliefs, and manifesting his beliefs into real life actions.

LadyMD, I'm happy that you were brave enough to post here, despite the risk of men "jumping all over you" (which happens in the DJD forum.) You are courageous and curious, which I admire, however, I can only assume that you'd like to learn more about yourself here.

One of the things I noticed in one of the first paragraphs, about yourself, is that you seem to have some misconceptions about men.
Full disclosure, so you know what kind of perspective you're getting here: I'm a college student and 21 years old, but not even remotely resembling the image that just jumped into your mind. I'm not a sorority wh0re, I don't go to frat parties, I don't play head games and I managed to work out my adolescent self-esteem issues a while ago and now have a pretty healthy self-image. I'm a serious pre-med student who rarely drinks, is into sports but not the wild girl lifestyle, and is saving herself for marriage.
Men don't assume that all girls (college girls in particular) are wh0res looking for the next d!ck. Actually, who would want a girl like this anyway? We may be attracted to them because they are sexy, but we may also be repulsed by them for something like stupidity, blandness, or being too crazy, etc. One thing for sure is that, a man will trust and demand that his woman is faithful to him. A "party girl" could be a lot of fun if you enjoy your time together, but a man will know and expect that the girl is wild and unstable enough for a true loving relationship.

It's true that many men think with their d!cks. We objectify women and we may look at them like sizzling hot steaks, fresh from the grill. Now that's just raw desire and hunger. Men need to control their desires and explore the social and emotional sides of a woman. There are horny guys out there who may or may not understand this, but they lead with their d!cks because sex is such a powerful desire in their minds. Sure we all want sex, even you LadyMD, whether you admit to it or not, but no one truly wants the bullshvt of head games and objectification alone. There is a time for everything, but it's not a good approach to approach a woman with one thing in mind. It's disrespectful, that's what it is. A man needs to learn the right time and manner in which to admire a woman.

By the way, you DO play head games, whether you like it or not. And that's a good thing. You may not consider them to be head games, but other men are effected by it. In fact, saying that you want to save yourself for marriage could be considered a head game (unless you're strictly religious, in which case I'd consider it a limiting belief.) The games are harmless to the men that truly understand them. Head games, or what we like to call "sh!t tests," are a woman's way of weeding out men with poor character. It's excellent that you do this, because by weeding out a man, you let him know that he has to develop his character further.

Well that's all for now, I have to go. Bye!
 

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Lets's look at your "good man".What women think are jerks may just be men going their own way. When I date you and tell you I'm allergic to your cat and feather pillows....we have sex and suddenly you are talking about moving in with your d@mn cat; am I a jerk when I tell you not happening? When you choose a pet over a man and whine about "no good men", am I supposed to be sympathetic?

Unfortunately, if you take sex out of the equation;most women aren't worth talking to. I don't care what happened on survivor,dancing with the stars,real world,jersey shore etc. I am concerned about the effects of the European debt crisis on our economy[business owner],the government's rules and regulations,etc. Guess I'm not a good "talker". In a choice between me and the broke used-car salesman,women value the talker...then wonder where "all the good men" are.

The "good man" you are all looking for....played college ball, had a 4.0gpa,is nice to everyone,has morals,etc. is dating his EQUAL [as far as men are concerned] woman. So, if you are a smart 7...look at the smart 7's in class with you....you need to stop looking for a "good man" and start looking for the good enough man.
 

backbreaker

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sodbuster said:
Lets's look at your "good man".What women think are jerks may just be men going their own way. When I date you and tell you I'm allergic to your cat and feather pillows....we have sex and suddenly you are talking about moving in with your d@mn cat; am I a jerk when I tell you not happening? When you choose a pet over a man and whine about "no good men", am I supposed to be sympathetic?

Unfortunately, if you take sex out of the equation;most women aren't worth talking to. I don't care what happened on survivor,dancing with the stars,real world,jersey shore etc. I am concerned about the effects of the European debt crisis on our economy[business owner],the government's rules and regulations,etc. Guess I'm not a good "talker". In a choice between me and the broke used-car salesman,women value the talker...then wonder where "all the good men" are.

The "good man" you are all looking for....played college ball, had a 4.0gpa,is nice to everyone,has morals,etc. is dating his EQUAL [as far as men are concerned] woman. So, if you are a smart 7...look at the smart 7's in class with you....you need to stop looking for a "good man" and start looking for the good enough man.
I hate to get off track here, but i was going to make a post about the very thing

Honestly, I don't even think that's a flaw in women. it's just how women have rolled for the longest of times. Women have always natrually if not instinctively known they would have to share the best. It's true, women would rather share a winner then have a loser to themselves. Most won't admit it out loud. Not even to themselves.

women fight with the notion that they can't have the best man possible. men have an easier time saying look, i'm not fvckign natilie portman. But this woman here, she's very cute and she likes me, and i'm pretty attracted to her.

Chris Rock tells a joke...guys meet a friend's GF, she's looking good, she's smart, she's got her stuff in order, she's funny, the guy says to himself.. "man, i want a woman like that one day"

man meets a woman's best friend, he's good looking, in shape, money in the bank, very much DJ.. a woman says " I want THAT man"

There is some truth to that. It's not until reality comes crashing down, until most women are in their 40's do they start trying to settle or lower their standards from my experience with my mother.

I told this story the other day, my wife has this friend, fat as a damn offensive tackle, has a ****ty job, she doesn't clean her house and has a 10 year old son that takes more meds than a 80 year old, and spends all day on facebook, and talking to her friends about waht's wrong with every guy she meets. i'm like ***** you are 300 pounds! r u fvckign serious? the fact that guys are even attracted to her amazes me, but some are. hell she needs to make up her damn mind, yet she's single. a 300 pound woman, with absoutly, nothing, going for her. nothing. lol. can't find a "good enough man". that **** is laughable

Your standards should generally be in line with what you offer. If you th ink you can go years without giving it up because you are "saving yourself" yet you demand these sexy, masculine men to wait around for you, you are going to end up being the cat lady in 30 years.
 
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