A woman's perspective [Mod: Moved from MM]

[st_99]

There is an alpha type that works for us, but it's not the type that popularly discussed on this site. Put simply, good girls are looking for a good man. Someone who is dominant, masculine, self-assured, all of that, but also just a fundamentally good person.

This is pretty generic, I mean, a fundamentally good person? That could mean so many different things, I don't think anyone here is a murderer or mugs old ladies.

And as far as being self-assured, thats exactly what this site is all about, its at the heart of everything that goes on in here. Impenatrable confidence and poise is the holy grail. Not easily attainable. You gloss over it like the majority of the population isn't f*cked up in terms of confidence and self worth. It is.

 

[zekko]

Pretty good post, LadyMD. Certainly a lot better than some of the women who have come here to post. Here are a few thoughts provoked by what you said:

#3: We are not into men who have a storied sexual history.

There is a group here who definitely thinks that the more girls a guy fvcks, the more attractive he is. But if that is truly the case, why do so many guys actively try to hide the fact that they are players?

In my experience, women tend NOT to be attracted to players. Having said that, there is always a segment of the female population who WILL be attracted to them. However, these tend to be rather low quality women.

As they say here, women like guys who have options.

#4: Different kinds of alphas work for different kinds of women. There is an alpha type that works for us, but it's not the type that popularly discussed on this site. Put simply, good girls are looking for a good man. Someone who is dominant, masculine, self-assured, all of that, but also just a fundamentally good person.

The dominant, masculine, self-assured part is what attracts the woman.
When it comes to being a fundamentally good person, that is a choice made by a higher level of the brain.

This is similar to a guy who sees a well shaped attractive woman. He is attracted, but then he has to put her through the other filters of his brain to determine whether or not she is a worthy or suitable woman for him.


Finally, I like what Slickster says here. There are lot of different types of guys who come here, who have a lot of different types of goals and wants. You can't just throw everybody into one big batch (although there is a group here that I swear is brainwashed into being one single united cult).

LadyMD,
Try not to categorize the men on this site into one specific group or specific mindset.

There are those who are merely looking for meaningless sex with every and any slvt (or hole) they can find. Many of these guys have little moral standards and would sell out even themselves for a mere taste.

Then there are others who are actually here to learn, grow and evolve into something better than they are. These guys place themselves above any sexual conquest or women.

If you stick around long enough you'll learn who is who and just how different each group views the world and approaches life.

 

[Zunder]

I truly shake my head at some experienced mm members that give this chick any credit for what she posted.

 

[Powerlifter]

Listen Zunder, you need some education yourself bro. You tell this young lady to go back to her whatever idiot church is a bit harsh. Not all churches teach to stay a virgin and nowhere did I see she attended church. For the record the ones I have attended in times pass have actually taught live life and experience it, then figure out what is right for you. The bishops and Pastor never once never teaching a dogma or prejudice view. Get off your high horse bro, this young lady didn't deserve your ignorance or hot air.

Powerlifter.

Id say this is typical female horsesh!t.

I almost stopped reading when I read "I'm saving myself for marriage". I take it that "saving yourself" means "sexually" saving yourself.

So already you are using your pvssy as some sort of prize that only a certain man will get to pump once he has qualified himself as worthy of your pvssy via marriage. If that man doesn't meet the "my ***** is on lockdown till marriage" crap you have laid down, then "he;s not for you" right, because he "won't wait".

Go back to whatever idiot church you belong to that would infiltrate the mind of an otherwise healthy individual with their idiotic repressive attitude towards human sexuality. Your not in the real world girl.

 

[Zunder]

Listen Zunder, you need some education yourself bro. You tell this young lady to go back to her whatever idiot church is a bit harsh. Not all churches teach to stay a virgin and nowhere did I see she attend church. For the record the ones I have attended in times pass have actually taught live life and experience it, then figure out what is right for you. The bishops and Pastor never once never teaching a dogma or prejudice view. Get off your high horse this bro, this young lady didn't deserve your ignorance or hot air.

Powerlifter.

Listen "Bro" how about analysing the crap she posted instead of making generalised statements?
My take she was a religuous nutter was undertsandable given her crap about "saving herself for marriage" and that she's a good girl inferring woman that don't meet her ideal of "saving themselves for marriage" are "bad" girls.
Turns out she is an aetheist with a wholly unrealistic idealised pedalstised view of the world and that a man must fit her frame of having her pvssy on lockdown. fvck that shyt. Give me a break.
Try to find positive in her horseshyt if you like, thats your call "bro".

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Saving yourself for marriage is a religiously imposed social convention, but it's against human nature. That's why it's bullshvt. Women who say that are trying to fulfill an unrealistic fantasy and are sexually inhibited. Unless you're androgynous or asexual, you will have the desire for sex and you will want to act on it when turned on. Denying your biological drives is insanity.

A wild example would be back in the day when it was rude to leave the dinner table when invited to dinner at someone's place, and you had to eat everything they served you. Imagine you're full and you have to go to the bathroom, but social conventions state that you must be a good dinner guest, stay at the table and finish everything on your plate. If you choose to live up to this outrageous ideal, you'd possibly end up busting a gut and dying.

 

[Burroughs]

Denying your biological drives is insanity.

yes...100%

and oh yeah...stop feeding the fvcking OP troll.

 

[Zarky]

What women say they want and what they respond to are two completely different things. How many times must we go over this? A woman will never give you insight into women, because she has no insight into her own behavior.

 

[LadyMD]

Thank you to those who wrote thoughtful replies - I agree I had some misconceptions about this site when creating this thread, although a couple of posts here sort of reinforced my original impression.

To briefly address the many replies: I didn't mean to come off as the perfect girl in search of the perfect boy. I never claimed to be a perfect girl and I don't have an idealized image of a good man. My last boyfriend was not at all what society would consider "good-looking", but I liked him because he was smart, honest and confident in himself. He was definitely not a Mr. Darcy though, and I am not looking for a Mr. Darcy. I don't date guys based on their income by the way. Education is important to me, but I don't chase after bankers or something.

And when I say that I believe a player-type of guy is more likely to cheat, it's not because I have low self-esteem and think I'm unworthy to keep a guy interested. I think a cheater is entirely responsible for his own actions, it's not a reflection on his girlfriend. And vice versa - cheating girlfriends take full responsibility for their actions and their boyfriends aren't to blame.

I was very interested in one poster's comment that players try to hide their player history, because I've only seen the opposite in my experience. Maybe this is something that older men do and I just haven't seen it yet.

It's entirely possible for a non-religious person to believe in marriage. And as to the comments about virginity = insanity...well, it's too bad if you think that way, I don't have the time to sit here and explain why you're wrong, and I don't really care.

 

[AW1983]

Unfortunately, if you take sex out of the equation;most women aren't worth talking to. I don't care what happened on survivor,dancing with the stars,real world,jersey shore etc. I am concerned about the effects of the European debt crisis on our economy[business owner],the government's rules and regulations,etc.

Hear, hear!

I would love to meet *one* girl with any knowledge of what's going on in the geo-socio-political-economic scene. I know their brains are less "rational" "logical" and "fact-oriented" than ours, but come the fvck on ladies, the world is going straight down the drain at an alarming rate...this stuff involves YOUR survival, and your children's. Pull your glazed eyeballs away from the reality tv for two minutes a day and read the news online. Then maybe you'll earn some respect.

We've all heard "Guys only want one thing"...Well GIVE US SOMETHING MORE THEN.

 

[Burroughs]

The "good man" you are all looking for....played college ball, had a 4.0gpa,is nice to everyone,has morals,etc. is dating his EQUAL [as far as men are concerned] woman. So, if you are a smart 7...look at the smart 7's in class with you....you need to stop looking for a "good man" and start looking for the good enough man.

sodbuster this gets to the heart of the male/female disconnect in modern society...during the younger years 16-26...women have a 2 point hb superiority to men...ie a young female hb 7 can reliably get an 9 dude...so this is what they expect..thing is as women age...the disparity begins to fall...till the 28-33 year old aging female hb 7 is lucky to get a 6 guy with the money and the 400 Lex....THATS WHEN THEY START COMPLAINING ABOUT NO GOOD MEN...trouble is most aging females still are calibrating by the 2 hb point advantage they had as 20somethings....and media does nothing to school women on this, take sex in the city...in NYC today no mister big would be caught dead with a carrie unless she took it in the azz like a champ and licked butthole regularly...in real life: mr big simply has too many options and carrie too little...But women fly into histrionics when they realize this and turn to massive doses of prozac and or mimosas to mask the truth.

 

[SharinganUser]

TL;DNR

Learning about attraction from women is like learning how to hunt from the animal that you want to cook up for dinner. - SharinganUser.

 

[Zunder]

It's entirely possible for a non-religious person to believe in marriage. And as to the comments about virginity = insanity...well, it's too bad if you think that way, I don't have the time to sit here and explain why you're wrong, and I don't really care.

But you had time to write the waffle in yourt opening post?

No do go on, I'd love to hear how "right" it is for a woman to be a virgin until married, especially if its not because of religuous mumbo jumbo - your an aetheist so that is even more interesting. I'd like to tell you to tell us all how the boyfriends you have had felt you were "right" too. I mean - you do have a boyfriend don't you? He is not a jerk or an assdhole and he keeps his **** in his pants just like you ask, and he will definietly wait around until your big day in white to finally get a taste of what he has been waiting for. Thats your utopia isn't it....

The point is you are a silly little kid with no concept of life, social dynamics, sex, and the hard grind that it can all be. You don't know shyt and as someone said earlier probably best we don't feed the troll.

 

[Zarky]

probably best we don't feed the troll

and yet you have

 

[Zunder]

and yet you have

Fed it big onions

 

[Zarky]

which will make it fart like crazy :yes:

 

[Pair A Dice]

OP,

Do you at least give good head?

 

[HalfAddict]

I would say OP is describing a nice woman, who does not exist. The day you find some good girls, let this guy know because all I see are vapid, idiotic, alcoholic hookers.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Welcome, LadyMD

Haven't read everyone's replies, yet, so forgive me if this has been talked about.

I would have to chime in with a comment about your initial impressions of what this place might be.

By reading most of the everyday drivel posted by some of the less experienced (and often younger) guys on here, the impression you'll get will be quite skewed. I know I shake my head quite often at some of the advice given here.

You need to realize that everyone who visits this site is on a different path, and at different points in the journey.

Many rely on tricks, tactics, alpha male b.s. and various superficial exploits to "pull hot chicks" and get laid. As a younger man, that stuff was exciting but as you get older (I'm soon to be 33yrs old) you really start to come into a place where, as you said, you become a good man.

I am at a point as a matured man where I can walk the line between being masculine, dominant, protective and "alpha" while also being caring, nurturing and genuinely interested in the woman I date, and what she has to say.

Have I been with many women? Yes. I don't think there is anything wrong with exploring one's own sexuality, sharing experiences with someone else and simply playing the field to get a sense for what you like and what you don't like.

At the end of all this, I now have a very strong sense of who I am and what I want from a partner. Had I fallen into the trap of marrying my highschool sweetheart (as many of my friends did) I'd be 12+yrs into what would most likely be a pretty lackluster marriage.

I have reached a point where I am looking to plant my feet and start a family with an exceptional woman. I am grounded and I am not afraid of commitment. The issue is, I hold myself in such high regard and know that I won't settle for anything less than the right woman for me.

This is MY issue. Most of the women I meet fall short. I break it off, once I realize that I don't see myself spending my life with them. Why would I just go along with something, just because we've been dating for a couple of years?

But, at the age of 33, I'm very much UN-interested in adding more notches to my belt. It was never my intentions in the first place, but over the years I've been with many women. I never just ditched them, though. Either we both knew it was a one night stand or something to just enjoy but not get too involved with, or it turned into a long term relationship that eventually ran it's course. No regrets and I shared some amazing times with some amazing women.

It is what made me the man I am today. I've learned compassion and how to simply love people for who and what they are. If I can bless someone's life, even for a night, and they can do the same for me then where is the harm in that?

Again, I reiterate that I'm a matured man, so my views will absolutely not resonate with the late teens and early twenty something guys on here who arepredominantly driven by hormones, the need for "status" and the fear of being discovered for what they truly are, at this stage of their growth and development: BOYS

 

[Cheeks]

LOL at a forum of mature men trying to engage in an intelligent debate with an age 21 feminist atheist.