Ok elaborate because I had a whole problem with college girls not liking the fact that I was 28, saying I was too old, and you're an entire decade beyond that.
I mean for one I’m never at a loss for words or a one liner. And I basically get my mail forwarded at this point to this one particular bar so I know the vibe in there well. I have rapport with the staff, the head bouncer I actually used to work for him back in the day, so at a base level I have a lot of various points of conversation and social proof I can lean on so to speak.
so with that said, this is what works for this particular bar, I have to stress it’s unique to the vibe there. It’s a dance club themed weekend, the crowd is younger, it’s the trendiest, and I don’t drink. So I have a lot of awareness and financial staying power.
my boy and I set up on the end of the bar closest to the dance floor. We do not leave. The crowd is always coming in and out. Doing this gives me the opportunity to get to know the hot bartender and whatever guy is working back there also. Even though I’m getting red bulls in beer cups, 1: I look like I am drinking and 2: I am always throwing a $5 even though I get them free all night (maybe bc my boy drinks enough for both of us lol).
it’s very simple for me dress wise. I always have a backwards hat. The hat I wear is worn in and is very unique. It’s one of the most exclusive golf clubs in the country. Hardly anyone knows the logo but the logo itself is great. A 4 leaf clover with a horse. White hat. I wear jeans, a pair of black Reebok running sneakers, and I just cycle a couple of sweatshirts and periodically throw them around my waist over the course of the night, on and off. I take care of my body. I am relatively lean, my skin is clear as I take fish oil and do sauna, I actually had to pull my license out yesterday- the girls thought I was 30. The bartender thought 35.
my girl last night pulls up next to me and orders a drink. Her sister and friends are with her. So she reminds me looks wise of my wife’s attorney so I just ask her if she’s a lawyer. We start talking about that and I mix between talking to her and looking straight so I give the vibe that I’m just letting her order. She asks me so what’s my name, at which point I know I am in business. I said it’s d/w3 and the I go, that’s actually my real name (joke that plays well with girls in the club) but she’s too young to get it. She’s 2 months into drinking age. So I get hers and then I immediately say I’m 38.Remember the bartender is hot and I’m getting eyes from other girls around the bar so I’m basically doing the push pull, and she’s caught off guard. I lean in and I say, hey Lauren you wanna make a bad decision with me later - she smiles and I know I’m in business. She starts talking to her girls , they motion for her time to go, I look at her and I say have fun with a genuine smile. I bet my boy a dollar she comes back. He puts a dollar in my shirt in ten minutes.
So I’m basically posted at this bar for 4 hours. She’s in and out. At one point she comes up and I’m talking to other girls from her school. I’m like omg you guys both go there? This girls a tattoo artist and they’re like omg how do you know Lauren, I’ve known her two years! I look at my watch and I say, it’s been about 25 minutes. Get a laugh. Tatto girl leaves. At one point her sister and friend are there with me and Lauren isn’t. I start working the sister. Joking around, building rapport, joking that she’s gotta tell her sister I’m too old for her. I talk to other women etc. this tall smoke walks by me, I ask where she’s going she says restroom I say great going there also, take her hand and start cutting through the Floor. I walk her right past my college girl, could not have missed us. Tall girl makes out with me, we see Santa have a laugh. Ok adios to her.
at one point, I do spy a guy getting lauren into some engaging conversation- I’m watching this from a distance and I have good eyesight. This is where being sober helps. So I walk around and I notice my smoke over on one side. I go look to get a conversation going with her in Lauren’s line of vision. Then through total luck I bump into a couple of my elementary school teachers that I met like 6 weeks ago. We laugh, I point my boy out who never called her and I say with large enough gestures to catch Lauren’s sight line that he’s over on the other side and go get him. So that little gambit works and they do a drive by of our spot after I walk over.
guess who comes to find me after that little piece of theater but Lauren. She comes back and I kiss her. She asks if that’s what I meant about the decision, I'm like no we’re going to be bad later - she goes to hit the bathroom and I don’t see her for a bit. It’s getting late and she’s going to be fairly buzzed now and decision making is gonna get jaded and susceptible to influence so I say by to my bartender, I tell my boy let’s go and I tell Lauren we’re leaving. She’s outside with us and her sister and friend are looking for their Uber. Now, lauren lives Ironically two minutes from me. She’s about to order an Uber because the other ones are going totally different direction. We wait for helicopter sister to leave and then I take Lauren home. She shocked that I know how to get to her apartment, I’m like yeah I grew up here. Start pointing stuff out, former coach of a pro hockey teams house, pass my father Point his out, have this joke that the only person in her family I haven’t met yet is her parents.
so we get to her place and she gives me the look in the car. I says you wanna hang and make out for a bit. She says sure. In we go, I meet her goldfish and wejump on the bed and the rest is history.
