A truly tricky situation (I need a ******** translator)

magickarl

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Well heres a story (sorry it's a bit long):

Theres this girl who was actually dating my brother first, but they had a falling out and he left town for a while. Me and this girl hooked up, and at first it was awkward and we didn't really know what to do next. We understood that it would make a lot of friends angry, but opted to pursue things anyway.

Anyway, at first things were great, but some of my brothers friends would not stop harassing this girl about how low down it was to switch between brothers. (What they did not understand is that she and my brother had went separate ways before our thing was ever thought about) and eventually she told me it sort of made her feel guilty. I anticipated that this could be a problem, and I just flat out asked her if she wanted to deal with it or break things off. I explained to her in the most direct way possible that I am not interested in being around a woman who feels guilty being around me. She told me she really liked me wanted to continue to pursue a relationship. We started spending a lot of time together, but things were really not the same after I gave her the ultimatum. Sex was still great, and we would still have a lot of fun together, but a lot of the time together just kind of felt strange and I knew what was coming. Whenever she would complain about someone putting guilt on her, I would tell her to get over it or break up, and one day we did. Sort of.

I told her I was tired of all of this guilt nonsense, and then she gave me a line of ******** I'm still trying to figure out all the way. My main problem in doing so is that this girl in particular is an extremely honest one, and does not take me for an idiot (one of the reasons I liked her). Some of it still sounds like ********, but there are parts I want to believe. She said something about how she was sorry that she felt guilty around me, and that she wanted me in her life even in a "just-friends" capacity. A bunch of stuff about how she needs to figure her life out and doesn't really want to be with anybody right now, but if she could make a choice on how her life was going she would want to be with me.

It all sounded like BS to me, and truth be told I was fine with that. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and if I can't have this one, no matter how much I liked her, there are others I can move on to.

Here is where it gets confusing. I told her I was fine with that, but if she changed her mind, I was open to the possibility of a relationship. She told me something about not knowing what she wanted, and so I played the just friends game a bit with her and made some booty calls to other girls on the side. But she still likes to do things like kiss on me, and touch me in ways that children would describe as naughty. Specifically, she sucks on my neck and grabs my package at random.

I was watching a movie with her just last night, and she asked if I would rub her back. I said sure, did it, and next thing I knew she was nibbling on my ear and playing with my waistline.

I've even heard stories about her shooting down all other callers since we "became un-official" (thats what she is calling it) which adds credibility to the "she doesn't want to be with anyone" sentiment she expressed.

But then, out of nowhere, she will all of the sudden turn cold, and do some "just friends" type stuff like giving me a goodnight kiss on the cheek with a friendly hug.

And then, she changes her tune all over again, asking me questions about if I've hooked up with anybody else, and sitting on my lap taking pride in the fact that she could "stir my loins." I'm fairly certain she would attempt to initiate sex, but she is on the rag right now, and knows I am against playing in blood.

She still expresses sentiments about wanting sex, and wanting to spend lots of time together. Things like asking if she can spend the night at my house.

Could somebody please tell me what is going on? Is she trying to get me into a friends-with-benefits situation? Is she trying to test me? (She was very concerned during the relationship that I only hooked up with her to make my brother, whom I despise, angry) Or is there a chance that she really does just want some space to get her head straight but is still into me?
 

WC2

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I want to take your last sentence and answer your question. But I need to transform it first.

"Or is there a chance that she really does just want some space to get her head straight, but is still into me?"

No.

You know what I think? I think she needs a place to get her head straight, because she has figured out that right now she is just not that into you.

It's called branch swinging. She's holding onto your branch at the moment for comfort, until she sees a higher branch she can swing up to, using yours for support.

You kind of embellished it, but what I get from your post is that she initiated this breakup possibly on the grounds of things being weird and her feeling guilty.

I feel that she could very well feel guilty about it, but you must realize that women don't leave men they are in love with. Love is like a drug to women. If they truly do love a man, it takes a lot more than guilt to get them to leave.

I don't think this woman is in love with you anymore, or at least at the moment. There might be some times in which she feels 'love' around you and shows it, but overall she's just not feeling it enough to be with you right now. Unconsciously she wants someone else that she can 'love' until she's done with him too.

My advice to you would be to move on and stop seeing her. I know it's tough, I've been there a bunch of times.

But the truth is glaring right at you and you have to take it and swallow it. She's ready for something new and if she wasn't then she would still be with you 'officially'.

Maybe she will get her sh!t together and realize that she does need you after all, maybe she won't. Either way you should look out for your best interests and protect your emotions. Don't take a path like myself.. I got tangled up in a very emotional disastrous 2 year relationship that ended horribly for both parties. Be respectful and manly about it, but make sure you can see through the bullsh!t that this woman is throwing at you.
 

magickarl

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Thanks for some outside perspective man. I don't know, as much as I liked this one, when I think about it, I'm not willing to be some sort of back-up guy. And I'm not willing to invest any emotion into a lost cause.

I think I'll do exactly what you advised though: I'm going to step away from her, and if she decides that she wants me back, I guess I'll have to seriously question her intentions at that point and make that judgment call when the time comes. But honestly, I would have appreciated it a lot more out of her to be direct with me instead of giving me some maybes, a few what if's, and a truckload of horsesh!t. So I'm already pretty certain of my answer. Thanks again, and goodnight.
 

Lexie

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magickarl said:
Theres this girl who was actually dating my brother first
Dude, you should have stopped right there. Some girls are just off limits. She's obviously using you as a rebound from your brother so she doesn't have to go through that "missing him" stage where she feels lonely and eats a gallon of ice cream.

You just should have stayed out of this one from the get-go. Get out now, don't let her jerk you around with "guilt". You are right: tons of fish in the sea, and this one's only going to cause you more problems the longer you keep her around, especially if her friends are against her.
 

KarmaSutra

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You're her attention fix. Like any junkie she needs to shoot up often to satiate her desire. In her case it's attention. This broad will fvck anyone at any time in order to get her fix. The more drama she creates the more intense her fix and the longer it lasts.

Until she gets caught in her own web of bullsh1t.

Then she'll use her cvnt and her mouth to turn friend against friend and brother against brother. Whatever she has to do to remove the responsiblity for what she's done, she'll do it. With a big fat sh1t eating grin on her.

Do you really want to do anything with this idiot except drop a load in her ass?

Think about it.
 
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