A recurring problem with my friends...

[RangerMIke]

There must be something in the water because I've had FOUR really good friends in the last couple of weeks have the same problem with their relationship chicks. That problem is that their chick suddenly started getting b!tchy. We have all been there, here is the reason it happens and what you should ALWAYS do:

Reason: There is another dude, who she THINKS is better than you, is in the picture who, at some level, expressed interest in your chick. Her hypergamy is being triggered and she is starting to think she can do better. This is the case 75% of the time, the remaining 25% could be a function hormone because of her age or mental state. She's likely not crazy... just preping to monkey branch.

Solution: There will be relationship coaches that tell you it's your fault... because they make money convincing you that, YOU CAN do something about this. They play on the natural male trait to want to fix sh!t that goes sideways... truth is there isn't anything you can directly once it starts to happen. If you have not ALWAYS put effort into yourself, trying to be the best man possible then you will not avoid other dudes looking better than you do.

The only thing you can do in this case, is focus on yourself... don't 'try' to fix anything or make her happy. God help you, but if you are married, no matter what you do you are fvcked, because when you start focusing on self improvement, you will be told you are 'ignoring' her, and this will drive her off, if you do nothing... she will become b!tchyer and b!tchyer, as you slide into fatness and misery. She owns your balls, so get ready to have them chopped off, divorce is expensive because it is worth it. Bite the bullet and divorce her... if she will not come around, end it. It will be painful (trust me I know) but it is the ONLY way.

If you are not married, just break up with her and start dating other chicks. She might come back around, but if she doesn't so what... there are other chicks.

Bottom line the only way to deal with a b!tchy chick is to fvcking walk away from it... if she is no fun she gets ignored.

 

[ubercat]

Truth. In my shameful AFC days I once had a hot little chick who I thought was my girlfriend was really just a plate. She said u r not as funny as the other Kiwi guy I know. Classic disrespect prior to monkey branching So I stopped the car and said she should ring clown boy and left her on the side of the road.

Women aren't always good at evaluating their options. Anyway six months later she hit me up again. She's always been good in bed so I had a bit more fun but I'd finally worked out that's all she was good for. So I guess all in all was a hard fought draw but none of it was terribly pleasant.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with this but there are other scenarios that trigger it as well.

1.) She has a friend who is single/soon to be single/cheats that talks about how much fun it is to be wh0ring around and how great the single life is.....then tries to drag your chick into the lifestyle.

2.) You stop putting effort into yourself (not putting effort into her is a copout). Very simple, you get complacent and let yourself go.

The trick is to have clear boundaries from the beginning on what you wont put up with. Constant b!tching and nagging is something that I will walk on in a second. I dont need negative people in my life, or the ones that are always the "victim".

I have used this line several times and it will work if she knows that you mean it-

"Hey this isnt really going the way I though it would. I am going to take some time away from us and go a different direction for a while. Seems things have changed and what we have right now isnt something that I am interested in staying in. Take care".

All chicks b!tch and nag a little. Its part of their makeup. Its when its constant that there is an outside influence. Especially the picking fights over something stupid just to invent a reason to monkey branch.

This is one prime example of when you need to put the oars back in the water and get on the move (away from her).

Be the aggressor and pull away. If she is just going through something not related to another guy in the picture or the possibility of it, she will come back around very quickly.....and also learn that you wont tolerate this type of behavior in the future.

Its always better to flip the switch in them first rather than being in the dark.

Good post Ranger Mike.

 

[Glassguy]

I will also add this- if you are being somewhat aloof and a challenge, making her chase the carrot, she wont look around (as much).

Women want what they cant have. Always.

There are always better looking guys than you out there, but if you are keeping the relationship fun, challenging (in a good way) and arent getting complacent on yourself, these things seem to be a non issue.

If you offer high value (from self improvement) and make her invest, she will have less of wondering eyes.

 

[Roober]

Oh man, Ranger, you are normally solid on advice. This thread is a bit disappointing, but simultaneously covertly discloses much about you.

Women get moody, testy, bitchy, (insert any derogatory term here) when their man displays weakness...

Is he leading her properly?
Is he showing his love?
Does he even have some sort of goal or purpose in his life?
Is he following his purpose?
Does his life revolve around his purpose?
Is he giving her the D really well in bed?

It would impossible to determine WHERE (not "if") they are failing without spending every waking moment with them. The problem is likely that they are "trying" to fix the problem. Women don't want fixes, they want a... hmm... dog! Someone who is completely unaffected by her emotions, and will show her love regardless of how she is feeling. Someone who listens to her crap, then looks at her, tilts his head, and licks her face.

I am realizing that being man is much more difficult than I once thought it was. Many men just do not have natural leadership abilities, so it makes sense that they would fail in leading their women.

As a man, you have to..
1. Plan everything - from her birthdays to weekend activities to dinner each night. Basically, if she didn't plan anything, you better have an idea.
2. Give her the D like the first time... every... single... time
3. Focus on your purpose, whatever it may be, at that point in your life
4. Handle her emotions - if she gets upset, you pick on her till she reveals it. I have found playing with nipples, throwing food at her, and pinching her works... still testing more things...
5. Take zero offense to anything she says... because... often times she has no idea what she is saying
6. Stand up for your values. DO NOT EVER deviate on your values (ie. family, children, money, etc.) to please others. This is different for everyone

The list goes on, but that is a tall order, and most men (?) are not capable of doing it... I struggle with 4 and 5 mightily as I did not grow up with a functioning family with healthy conflict resolution skills. Even number 3 can be tricky if your fvcking 1-2 times a day...

 

[guru1000]

Remember Gentlemen, hypergamy is a theory, not a superseding law governing all social matters. Hypergamy is prevalent among single women seeking their best option, just as, we men seek the hottest women whom we are most compatible with.

Relationship "game" is different. Both parties have needs. The trick is understanding the distinction between her "needs" and her "wants." Feed her needs (overall) and any temporary emotional fluctuation she engages will subside. But don't feed her "needs," and the relation will end, irrespectively. Walking away or not walking away is irrelevant when you longer meet her needs.

 

[resilient]

Ah, the old "grass is always greener on the other side" idiom.

I never equated b!tchy side with monkey branching, yet it makes some sense... Clearly, the disrespect is a sign of lowered or lowering interest level followed by covert or not-so-covert moves to jump branches.

I agree about the self-improvement part because even if she does firmly attach to another branch, you have a jumpstart at acquiring a new plate because you're taking control of the wheel of your ship as captain and are hopefully course-correcting a better path to where you want to be on all levels of your life. That's attractive to all plates whether potentially in the rotation or not.

Sloth and lazy is a lose-lose scenario.

Self-improvement is at the minimum a win-lose scenario to help you to obtain some benefit in your life regardless if she stays or not.

 

[ubercat]

Sorry Roober you can be handling your business just fine and if a better Rooster walks by that hamster starts spinning.

Remember it's all about them. If that week she's worried about getting old and losing
her looks attention from someone good looking guy might do the trick.

If one of her friends has cracked 1000 Instagram orbiters she suddenly wants to be party girl some guy out of one of her social groups who is the Life of the Party starts looking good.

This is where screening is important for a ltr should have taken a good hard look and know what u r getting. If you ignore red flags like victim mentality and being overly dramatic don't expect much stability. Most guys just fall into an ltr by default so of course it seldom ends well.

And Mike was spot on about keeping one foot out the door. A woman is there to provide sex, children and entertainment. If she stops meeting her KPIs she can trundle off and make the next guy miserable.


Of course you should handle your business and it does improve your chances but this is life some days you get the bear some days the bear gets you.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Way to scientific about this, chicks are always bitchy. Period end of story.

 

[Roober]

Sorry Roober you can be handling your business just fine and if a better Rooster walks by that hamster starts spinning.

Remember it's all about them. If that week she's worried about getting old and losing
her looks attention from someone good looking guy might do the trick.

If one of her friends has cracked 1000 Instagram orbiters she suddenly wants to be party girl some guy out of one of her social groups who is the Life of the Party starts looking good.

This is where screening is important for a ltr should have taken a good hard look and know what u r getting. If you ignore red flags like victim mentality and being overly dramatic don't expect much stability. Most guys just fall into an ltr by default so of course it seldom ends well.

And Mike was spot on about keeping one foot out the door. A woman is there to provide sex, children and entertainment. If she stops meeting her KPIs she can trundle off and make the next guy miserable.


Of course you should handle your business and it does improve your chances but this is life some days you get the bear some days the bear gets you.

I think guru pretty much hit the nail on the head below. Hypergamy is not a law governing the human race, merely an idea that every human looks for their best match.

Remember Gentlemen, hypergamy is a theory, not a superseding law governing all social matters. Hypergamy is prevalent among single women seeking their best option, just as, we men seek the hottest women whom we are most compatible with.

Relationship "game" is different. Both parties have needs. The trick is understanding the distinction between her "needs" and her "wants." Feed her needs (overall) and any temporary emotional fluctuation she engages will subside. But don't feed her "needs," and the relation will end, irrespectively. Walking away or not walking away is irrelevant when you longer meet her needs.

More often than not, when her needs are no longer being met, disrepect, b1tchiness, and other general poor behavior will begin. Men often fail to recognize their part in the process, and it keeps happening to them... over... and over... and over. Which brings me to my original point @ubercat. If a man is doing everything he is supposed to do, that other rooster won't be any more than a "oh, he's cute..." Now, there are some pairs that just aren't compatible and that is where the man has to walk away, but that should have been identified long before a relationship has been established.

In the case of relationships, the first step is recognizing that you are part of the problem. IF you have ever seen a c0ckfight, there is a common theme. The more confident and strong one will win every time, regardless of how they look.

 

[Jediknight888]

I think b*tches be crazy is the most accurate statement I've ever heard.

I had a woman recently come on to me more aggressively than ever. She started with texts about how strong her feelings were for me and she couldn't hold it back anymore. She then started sending me nude photos all in the same initial text string.

At first like all guys I was excited and my ego went through the roof. This woman is gorgeous and every guy I knew wanted to bang her. After a few weeks i recognized this was my only attraction to her. She continued texting me for weeks. I typically waited for her to write me first but then I'd join in and work to steer the texts toward seeing her again. I didn't want to boost her emotions up for free. When we met in person at least I'd get something physical out of it.

This is when the problems started. She was always too busy or always had an excuse to meet. If we did meet up on a Tuesday even if I did everything perfect, by Friday she'd be flaky and I'd just tell her it's not working out. We wouldn't talk for the weekend and by Monday or Tuesday we would be texting again. This got to the point that after a few weeks it was very predictable. We slept together on Tuesday.... Friday she'd say we're not dating and I don't plan on sleeping with you again. However, in my head I knew if I filled her head with enough nonsense I could get her to come see me and get her in bed again. I told her to f off and put her in the review mirror for eternity.

In my experience these types of women have very little stability in their lives. They have mediocre jobs and are financiallyand emotionally unstable. Overall they are depressed and need someone to make them feel good about themselves. Men gawking at them does the trick. The problem is that it's only NEW men that do it. Once you inflate their ego enough times.... they build an immunity to your compliments. Thus needing new compliments from someone else. This is a never ending cycle because the true problem with these women is that their life is in the toilet and until they fix that and truly become independent they arent worth your time. It is an endless tornado of destruction where they take and take and take and never give anything back.

As the post above mentioned, as men, we need to do a better job screening these women before we let them in with their emotional baggage, financial needs, and overall destructive behavior. It doesn't matter if she's a 10. I'd take a 7 that is a stable financially independent women with her sh*t together any day over a 10 that is a trainwreck.

 

[guru1000]

I think guru pretty much hit the nail on the head below. Hypergamy is not a law governing the human race, merely an idea that every human looks for their best match.



More often than not, when her needs are no longer being met, disrepect, b1tchiness, and other general poor behavior will begin. Men often fail to recognize their part in the process, and it keeps happening to them... over... and over... and over. Which brings me to my original point @ubercat. If a man is doing everything he is supposed to do, that other rooster won't be any more than a "oh, he's cute..." Now, there are some pairs that just aren't compatible and that is where the man has to walk away, but that should have been identified long before a relationship has been established.

In the case of relationships, the first step is recognizing that you are part of the problem. IF you have ever seen a c0ckfight, there is a common theme. The more confident and strong one will win every time, regardless of how they look.

Yup. Most interrelational advice here is directed entirely outward. Introspection--too--needs to be looked at to identify your contributing role.

Women are not all that complicated once you understand the whole picture. If a woman "needed" marriage, and you didn't, just understand that "need" you cannot fulfill will end the relation in time.

Be cognizant of her needs when the relation begins, and you will see exactly how the relation can end.

 

[Bible_Belt]

if a better Rooster walks by that hamster starts spinning.

Does the better rooster have those same insecurities? I don't think so, and I think that is part of what makes him the better rooster.

 

[btownbuck2012]

The only thing I'll add is that he doesn't necissarily have to be any better than you - she simply could be bored and overly familiarized with you. Therefore, as OP said, there's no use in trying to fix this as NOTHING will convince her to not go for what appears to be the better option when familiariaty has set in to the LTR. Again, another reason why I consider woment to be inferior. Not bad people, just inferior.

 

[resilient]

Additional thoughts to add to the discussion:

I never understood a plate or LTR obsession with the newness factor of another potential branch.

Is that new car smell sooooooo luring she can't resist temptation?

...or is it Disney chasing feels that scratch her itch (i.e. Prince Charming)? Glass slipper syndrome.

I'm aware that she does develop some immunity to the seductive charm in and out of the bedroom when like btown says that familiarity angle kicks in and it isn't as novel (much like how the brain craves novelty to keep the good vibes going).

I'm honestly impressed how some couples have gone for decades as the world has turned and turned and somehow two people still find each other attractive and have maintained love and respect (while hopefully not straying).

And also.... think of all the women who get swept away in trashy romance novels or get excited about others gossip or jealous of her girlfriends bfs/fwbs/husband/boy toy, etc and secretly want or desire what they have.

They crave emotional excitement just like we crave physical excitement.

Familiarity does breed contempt... that is certain.

There must be some biological connection to this behavior.

 

[That_dude]

Honestly.. Just sounds like a typical chit that happens right before a breakup

 

[BeExcellent]

This is an interesting thread. I agree that in the initial stages of dating that the correct attitude to have is that if she's a drag then dump her.

But as guru mentioned relationship game/frame is different than the period of initial attraction/lust/infatuation and it's different than "midgame" a term someone coined the other day which is useful which to me describes that timeframe where the relationship is getting legs and transitioning from the initial attraction stages to the more established LTR type frame.

Nobody is perfectly behaved all the time. Men get down and moody and bummed out and grumpy and crabby sometimes just like women do. Life happens to all of us as we go along in our time here. Add to that the fact that we are all dynamic beings and we are changing constantly over time.

This is where one's sexual/relationship strategy becomes important. If the relationship strategy is merely wash/rinse/repeat forever, then I subscribe to @RangerMIke and his solution to the problem. But many men prefer a different sexual strategy, that of the LTR or even that of marriage. For those that pursue the LTR strategy (up to and including marriage) there must be some allowances for things that occur in life from both the man and the woman. You don't just drop someone over any and every little thing.

There must be consideration of the needs of each person. As noted if a woman seeks marriage, a wise man who never wants to get married must accept that at some point there will be a fork in the road. Somebody has to accommodate someone else. Either the guy decides he wants the woman in his life bad enough to go on and marry her (else wise lose her), or the guy decides that it is more important NOT to marry, which leaves the woman the choice to leave him if marriage is THAT important or stay if HE is that important. And you see choices of this nature play out all the time.

It seems from my own observations in my own life and of those around me that there are a number of crucial points along the way where things tend to stress as the relationships and the people in them grow and change. I'd say the 2-3 month mark is the first place you see some stress. This is usually where the transition is going on between initial attraction and something longer term (perhaps with concurrent discussions of exclusivity.)

After that I'd say the 1 year mark is the next stress point typically, especially if the woman is pushing a particular agenda and it has a go/no-go decision point in her mind. Beyond that I'd say the 2 year mark is the next big one. This is a point by which both people typically know well enough the other person, how they respond to "stuff" in life, and are able to make a decision about whether or not marriage is on the table. Out beyond the two year mark things become more dependent on variables within the relationship (what each person's needs are, what each person's goals are, whether or not to cohabitate, whether or not there are new jobs or new babies or other material life events... the variables are endless.) So I think generalizing/assuming about an individual relationship is somewhat dubious at best.

Having said all that it does remain important at all times that the man fulfill the masculine/leadership role (even when shjt hits the fan and the chips are down) and that the woman fulfill the feminine/support role (even if things are bad for the short term.) The upset in these roles is where many problems arise. And if either party gives up on taking care of themselves and keeping an attractive appearance then it should not come as a surprise when the other party is no longer attracted. Entropy is always the enemy in the LTR game, and so is too much routine. Breakdowns in communication and taking one another for granted also plant seeds of discontent that fester if left to grow unchecked.

So I think it's more complex than "she isn't fun any more, dump her." The facade that people put forth publicly and the spin one individual puts on the situation is often rather different than the empirical reality of facts going on inside the relationship. One can never assume one knows the facts.

 

[ubercat]

This is where I think it gets a bit OTT here this constantly spruiking your alpha image often gets in the way of meaningful discussion.

Better is better according to the unmet need. Or it might be better fullstop. I don't think pragmatically understanding your market value is a tell for insecurity.

And the reality if your a bit long in the tooth, i.e. experienced is that you might not care greatly. Which is the point I was making. Relationships r rarely permanent these days. All your relationships ended for one reason or other. You can't control all the variables.

If u follow the collected wisdom here she wasn't the centre of your life anyway and you have the skills anytime you want to use them.

 

[RangerMIke]

Oh man, Ranger, you are normally solid on advice. This thread is a bit disappointing, but simultaneously covertly discloses much about you.

Women get moody, testy, bitchy, (insert any derogatory term here) when their man displays weakness...

Is he leading her properly?
Is he showing his love?
Does he even have some sort of goal or purpose in his life?
Is he following his purpose?
Does his life revolve around his purpose?
Is he giving her the D really well in bed?

It would impossible to determine WHERE (not "if") they are failing without spending every waking moment with them. The problem is likely that they are "trying" to fix the problem. Women don't want fixes, they want a... hmm... dog! Someone who is completely unaffected by her emotions, and will show her love regardless of how she is feeling. Someone who listens to her crap, then looks at her, tilts his head, and licks ..

Really... please tell.me about myself. This should be good.

My advice is simple be the best you can... but there are always better men out there and there is nor

Oh man, Ranger, you are normally solid on advice. This thread is a bit disappointing, but simultaneously covertly discloses much about you.

Women get moody, testy, bitchy, (insert any derogatory term here) when their man displays weakness...

Is he leading her properly?
Is he showing his love?
Does he even have some sort of goal or purpose in his life?
Is he following his purpose?
Does his life revolve around his purpose?
Is he giving her the D really well in bed?

It would impossible to determine WHERE (not "if") they are failing without spending every waking moment with them. The problem is likely that they are "trying" to fix the problem. Women don't want fixes, they want a... hmm... dog! Someone who is completely unaffected by her emotions, and will show her love regardless of how she is feeling. Someone who listens to her crap, then looks at her, tilts his head, and licks her face.

I am realizing that being man is much more difficult than I once thought it was. Many men just do not have natural leadership abilities, so it makes sense that they would fail in leading their women.

As a man, you have to..
1. Plan everything - from her birthdays to weekend activities to dinner each night. Basically, if she didn't plan anything, you better have an idea.
2. Give her the D like the first time... every... single... time
3. Focus on your purpose, whatever it may be, at that point in your life
4. Handle her emotions - if she gets upset, you pick on her till she reveals it. I have found playing with nipples, throwing food at her, and pinching her works... still testing more things...
5. Take zero offense to anything she says... because... often times she has no idea what she is saying
6. Stand up for your values. DO NOT EVER deviate on your values (ie. family, children, money, etc.) to please others. This is different for everyone

The list goes on, but that is a tall order, and most men (?) are not capable of doing it... I struggle with 4 and 5 mightily as I did not grow up with a functioning family with healthy conflict resolution skills. Even number 3 can be tricky if your fvcking 1-2 times a day...

While I appreciate the wall of text and personality analysis, based on my assumed history, you have missed my point... and really do not understand what I am all about.

Do not listen to me if you intend to maintain a relationship. I do not believe LTRs are possible in modern society. You can say my attitude is based on past experience, and you are right... everyone's attitude is based on past experience... and what we observe. You can ether learn those lessons or continue to get burned... your choice. I like my life, it works for me... if you are a guy that feels the need to chain yourself to one chick... have at it, but the odds are stacked WAY against you.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I am realizing that being man is much more difficult than I once thought it was. Many men just do not have natural leadership abilities, so it makes sense that they would fail in leading their women.
As a man, you have to..
1. Plan everything - from her birthdays to weekend activities to dinner each night. Basically, if she didn't plan anything, you better have an idea.
2. Give her the D like the first time... every... single... time
3. Focus on your purpose, whatever it may be, at that point in your life
4. Handle her emotions - if she gets upset, you pick on her till she reveals it. I have found playing with nipples, throwing food at her, and pinching her works... still testing more things...
5. Take zero offense to anything she says... because... often times she has no idea what she is saying
6. Stand up for your values. DO NOT EVER deviate on your values (ie. family, children, money, etc.) to please others. This is different for everyone

The list goes on, but that is a tall order, and most men (?) are not capable of doing it... I struggle with 4 and 5 mightily as I did not grow up with a functioning family with healthy conflict resolution skills. Even number 3 can be tricky if your fvcking 1-2 times a day...

Phew!

Or, you could just go your own way until you find a loyal woman.