A prime example why even "be a man" advice falls short in the matrix

[DJDamage]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSbbkO1yYa4

This video seems at first like a good advice initially but then it raises a few questions such as:

1) why would a man go out on a first date for a meal to start?

2) why is it already predetermined that the "man has to pay" for the meal?

3) Was the man boring? was he psychotic? has interest levels been determined as to why this woman choose to pick up the phone, or did she lack any respect?!

4) After he calls for the waiter, the behaviour has been fixed, why would he still insist of calling off the date?! He hasn't achieved anything.

5) why does he sulk up like a little boy (clearly annoyed) yet still offer to take her back home and pay for the entire meal?! she still gets off on a good deal. If you really want to cut her off, go quietly up to the register, pay for your own meal portion and walk out the door with no explanation.

I think there is a new wave of men trying to reclaim "masculinty" these days. yet are listening to the same guys that peddle short easy answers for cash without teaching the fundamentals of being a man and looking at the bigger picture. In the end you are the same old fool with less money in your pocket, unless you find sosuave.

 

[Gerard-890]

DJDamage, I'm not trying to ruin your thread but I was having this similar discussion with Str8up in another thread about this. I viewed the video, now you asked:

1) why would a man go out on a first date for a meal to start?

>> Ask the guy. How is this the fault of the woman?

2) why is it already predetermined that the "man has to pay" for the meal?

>> Ask the guy. Again tell me how is this the fault of the woman?

3) Was the man boring? was he psychotic? has interest levels been determined as to why this woman choose to pick up the phone, or did she lack any respect?!

>> It's obvious that she was bored to death. I mean the guy has dragged her to a boring date. What's exciting about that? I would take a phone call too, maybe it's something "exciting" happening so there can be an excuse to get off this boring date!

4) After he calls for the waiter, the behaviour has been fixed, why would he still insist of calling off the date?! He hasn't achieved anything.

> smh

5) why does he sulk up like a little boy (clearly annoyed) yet still offer to take her back home and pay for the entire meal?! she still gets off on a good deal. If you really want to cut her off, go quietly up to the register, pay for your own meal portion and walk out the door with no explanation.

>> Tell that to the guy!! How is this the fault of women.

This I hate women stuff that you guys all share is crazy. YOU spend money on women, take them on boring dates, then BLAME women for being boring and not sleeping with you?

You call that the matrix that's supposed started by women? Are you kidding me? MEN made the matrix, MEN DID IT!

It's all in your f'in head, how about you snap out of it and come back to being a regular human being that enjoys life, sex, and women in particular.

Women NEVER SAID you had to give ANYTHING, it's YOU who want to GIVE SOMETHING.

:yawn:, now I'm being bored.

 

[guru1000]

DJDamage, I'm not trying to ruin your thread but I was having this similar discussion with Str8up in another thread about this. I viewed the video, now you asked:

1) why would a man go out on a first date for a meal to start?

>> Ask the guy. How is this the fault of the woman?

2) why is it already predetermined that the "man has to pay" for the meal?

>> Ask the guy. Again tell me how is this the fault of the woman?

3) Was the man boring? was he psychotic? has interest levels been determined as to why this woman choose to pick up the phone, or did she lack any respect?!

>> It's obvious that she was bored to death. I mean the guy has dragged her to a boring date. What's exciting about that? I would take a phone call too, maybe it's something "exciting" happening so there can be an excuse to get off this boring date!

4) After he calls for the waiter, the behaviour has been fixed, why would he still insist of calling off the date?! He hasn't achieved anything.

> smh

5) why does he sulk up like a little boy (clearly annoyed) yet still offer to take her back home and pay for the entire meal?! she still gets off on a good deal. If you really want to cut her off, go quietly up to the register, pay for your own meal portion and walk out the door with no explanation.

>> Tell that to the guy!! How is this the fault of women.

This I hate women stuff that you guys all share is crazy. YOU spend money on women, take them on boring dates, then BLAME women for being boring and not sleeping with you?

You call that the matrix that's supposed started by women? Are you kidding me? MEN made the matrix, MEN DID IT!

It's all in your f'in head, how about you snap out of it and come back to being a regular human being that enjoys life, sex, and women in particular.

Women NEVER SAID you had to give ANYTHING, it's YOU who want to GIVE SOMETHING.

:yawn:, now I'm being bored.

I agree with taking responsibility for your actions .

Judging from your posts, either you have high estogen, low testosterone or the liklihood, you are a woman.

Especially the paranoid post about sexual rape. That was a classic.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Some other poster wrote something similar to this the other day. His problem was that he was in a gift shop with his girlfriend on vacation and she walked out of his ear-shot to answer her phone, talking discretely to the person who called her. He had the right to react like this guy in the video does.

In this video, the girl answers the phone and she isn't disrespectful in any way. She appears to try to get off the phone in a timely manner. Any guy who reacts like the guy in the video does is going to come off looking like a total tool. A reaction like his is only merited if the girl's conversation is clearly passing over the bounds of being disrespectful. If I was on that date and my phone rang, I would answer it, wrap up the convo as fast as possible, then apologize. The girl is not being rude. She is just answering the phone and promptly trying to get off it.

I think there is a new wave of men trying to reclaim "masculinty" these days. yet are listening to the same guys that peddle short easy answers for cash without teaching the fundamentals of being a man and looking at the bigger picture. In the end you are the same old fool with less money in your pocket, unless you find sosuave.

I agree with you, and these men are fvcking annoying. These so-called gurus are cashing in on the kinds of guys who know more about Everquest than they do about women. When I say that, I mean the kinds of guys who aren't just bad with women but bad with social interaction in general. That's a crop of men that aren't going to understand the ideas behind inner game and things like that.

The real gripe that I have with this video is, if this girl is being truly disrespectful (which I don't think she is), there has to be some reason for it. A woman who is truly interested in a guy won't flip open her cell phone and engage in a convo during a date. The problem isn't with her answering the phone. Rather, it's probably an issue with the guy, who likely had done something to lower her IL before the call even took place.

This video is really just another example of an attempt at a quick-fix, marketed toward a segment of desperate guys who don't understand the bigger picture of masculinity.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Also, the guy's biggest issue in that video is his haircut, not the girl answering her phone. What the fvck is he thinking cutting his hair like that? He looks like Drew Gooden during the NBA playoffs from last year.

 

[Metro3pilot]

if this girl is being truly disrespectful (which I don't think she is), there has to be some reason for it. A woman who is truly interested in a guy won't flip open her cell phone and engage in a convo during a date. The problem isn't with her answering the phone. Rather, it's probably an issue with the guy, who likely had done something to lower her IL before the call even took place.

So it's the guy's fault huh ? excuses excuses, justification of someones bad behavior ...... he was boring so I was like shyt since the world revolves around me I'm going to take a phone call ....

I had the same thing happen on a second date except it was a text and not a call, after the 3rd text I asked her if she needed a ride or could get a ride home ..the text stopped

was she bored ? who cares I know she was rude and was not going to waste another minute on her ..... That's ok

That's my perogitive.

:rockon:

 

[Gerard-890]

Funny guru, because you critized me in the last thread by judging Str8up haven't never met the guy when I never said that Str8up as a bad person, just his beliefs were.

Now all of a sudden you are judging me calling me basically a woman (high estrogen and low testosterone).

What is up with this discussion forum that when someone has different views than the remaining PACK, they are either:

1.) A troll
2.) A fraud
3.) A woman
4.) Someone trying to cause problems
5.) An idiot

I guess it's true what they say, when someone has THEIR FLAWED BELIEFS firmly inside of them, it will take a building constructor to uproot them.

Guru I personally think your last statement was rude.

 

[Mr.Positive]

This video is really just another example of an attempt at a quick-fix, marketed toward a segment of desperate guys who don't understand the bigger picture of masculinity.

I agree..and I'll say that a woman, or man, answering the phone, during dinner, on a date, is showing a major sign of disrespect towards the other person. I've had firsthand experience with this as well...

However, the guy in this video, did not act like a man, IMO. He acted like a hurt whiney little b!tch.

It seems like just another reason why women ask where have all the men gone. Smile in the face of your advesaries..

It's control over your actions and emotions...and a situation like this, will test you. Something similar has happened to me.

What I would have done..

#1..finish my fvcking meal, and enjoy it. Then, take her home asap, and never call her again.

 

[squirrels]

MEN made the matrix, MEN DID IT!

:yes:

 

[Sun Tzu]

You sit down to eat. You take out your cell phone and shut it off in front of her. You ask her to do the same in order that you and she may enjoy each other's company without interruption. You state that this is your policy.

Problem handled before it even arises.

 

[DJDamage]

I'm pretty sure he wasn't bashing the woman in the video, he was bashing the dude in the video and his ultimately poor portrayal of what the SoSuave community strives to be, and that being a real man

Yep, I don't know where Gerard was going with his post.

now you asked:

I wasn't asking directly. I was pointing to the fact that there are other questions out there that needs to be addressed and therefore the solution is not as clear cut as the video suggested. Real men do not listen to some guy and not question his method (otherwise you are nothing but a robot). Real men come up with their own solutions, learn from them and then better themselves because of it.

This I hate women stuff that you guys all share is crazy.

Where do you see hate in my post?! Seduction is all about learning and there will be some frustrations and growing pains but its all part of the game.

You call that the matrix that's supposed started by women? Are you kidding me? MEN made the matrix, MEN DID IT!.

Did you even read my post? where does it say that the matrix started by women?!

It's all in your f'in head, how about you snap out of it and come back to being a regular human being that enjoys life, sex, and women in particular.

I snaped out of it when I WAS A REGULAR HUMAN BEING. Being a regular human being means being a part of the masses of people who work jobs they hate, being clueless about life and women and end up living in a miserable existence until they die. Never fulfiling their own dreams but someone elses.

Women NEVER SAID you had to give ANYTHING, it's YOU who want to GIVE SOMETHING.

Can you even be more vague? did you read this inside a fortune cookie??

:yawn:, now I'm being bored.

really? you seemed to have a good time jumping from topic to topic dissecting everything and blowing your own horn on top of a soap box.

 

[Mr. Me]

Yes, this is just another guy out there trying to make a buck on men by peddling his version of "How To Succeed With Women" stuff.

Insofar as his method goes, it sucks. He's teaching men to act like little brats. Her call was short and she got off the phone, and that's when I would've asked her - nicely - to turn her phone off for the duration of our time together. Been there, done that. They don't do it again after that and you've gained their respect.

I've also had it happen where a gal gets a call and without even saying an "excuse me" or blinking an eye, retrieves her phone from her bag and walks away to talk. She's just shown me she's rude. My response was to walk away as well.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

This is a textbook Leykis 101 rule. In fact Leykis would say it's too polite to even offer her a ride home. Just pick up while she's chatting, pay your half of the check and leave her ass there to find her own way home. These guys aren't covering any new ground with this.

That said, Leykis also was the first to point out that you are in fact paying for her exclusivity by asking her out and paying for the date. I do think it's a bit harsh, but however you handle it just know it's an iron clad indicator that you are not her first priority. However you choose to handle it, it should be an automatic NEXT.

BTW, the bald dude in the video looks a lot like KARMA.:yes:

 

[Interceptor]

Being the Man NEVER 'falls short".

In all cases, 'being the Man" is always the answer.
It can NEVER EVER EVER 'fall short."


But one has to understand what a MAN IS, and OneSelf.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

DJDAMAGE, try to understand that this isn't some form of a masculine sh!t test. Certain behaviors in different cultures are considered rude, but how did they get that way? Because someone at some time didn't like what the behavior implied and became offended by it. 10 years ago when cell phones were less of a commonplace thing no one would've given 2 sh!ts about accepting a phone call at a restaurant table because it was new. In 2008 we've learned what that behavior implies. Only in this instance it's men who're offended by it (or should be) and since the societal default is for men to supplicate to women, particularly men trying to qualify for their intimacy, they've got to fight not only against the rude behavior, but how the effort to make it rude will be interpreted by feminiized society. That's a tough road to hoe, but when enough guys stick to a zero tolerance policy about it, the rude behavior will be curbed.

And for the record, I'm not holding my breath on this since too many AFC chumps will be all too ready to let it slide in an effort to seem "not like other guys" and separate themselves from the herd.

 

[reset]

And for the record, I'm not holding my breath on this since too many AFC chumps will be all too ready to let it slide in an effort to seem "not like other guys" and separate themselves from the herd.

But you think most guys (A=average FC) would do that (supplicate) anyway. So they're trying to not seem like the rest of the herd but they are the herd. Why is this confusing to me.

I had this same notion growing up that I was different than other guys by being supplicating. But I was just like most dudes. The guys that weren't supplicating were actually in the minority.

This must come from feminist brainwashing that all men are pigs. Right?

 

[wjh]

There are several ways to handle this.

Safe to say... The man in the video handled it like a sensitive brat.

Regardless, this is why it's important to qualify a woman before taking her to dinner. Had he done his job and qualified her prior to going out to dinner, found out she was rude or inconsiderate, he would not have been in this position to begin with.

Asking a woman out to dinner, her accepting, and you showing up to entertain her does NOT = attraction and genuine interest. For her it's "just a date" with a guy she thought was "OK." I know I'm making assumptions here. But there are a lot of factors we're not aware of. We just caught a snippet of an interaction.

If you've screwed up and tried to pamper a girl in hopes of getting laid, you deserve to be treated like a tool. Dinners, for the DJ, are for GREAT girls you've already pre-qualified and determined were really into you.

I think a lot of guys fool themselves into believing they're interesting and/or different just because a woman accepts his dinner invitation.

Sure Leykis' rule to just outright leave can save you the embarrassment of laying out the harsh treatment in public, but that isn't even necessary. Just as women test men, men should filter out disinterested women.

 

[iqqi]

This is a textbook Leykis 101 rule. In fact Leykis would say it's too polite to even offer her a ride home. Just pick up while she's chatting, pay your half of the check and leave her ass there to find her own way home.

WOW.

If that isn't overreacting, I don't know what is. I am POSITIVE the chick would be thanking god you let her know on the first date how much of an uptight drama king prick you are.

First of all, if in fact her manner of taking the call was rude (say, more than one call, or she held a lengthy discussion, or interrupted an intriguing conversation with her date), then maybe cut the date short, and don't ask for another one. Plain and simple, without losing your own dignity.

But however, it seems that her answering the call was NOT in a rude manner. I haven't watched the video, I am going off of what some of the other guys said. Other guys, if YOU were on a date with some chick, and you took a quick call, and she promptly stood up, paid her half of the bill, and stormed out, what would you think? You'd think, she was one crazy RED FLAGGED biotch, and goddam maybe you need to start picking them better.

I personally refrain from taking calls when I am with someone on a date, however not everyone is schooled on proper ettiquette, and I will make exceptions for a person's lack of "properness", as long as the person isn't being completely rude.

An ex of mine took a call once when we were in bed together. It was a 4 way business call. I actually enjoyed it, because I loved to hear him in his business speak, and I loved his voice period. I knew that he would have gotten off of the phone in a heartbeat if I gave him the impression I didn't appreciate it. That is one of my best memories of him, sigh.

Don't be so uptight about sh!t ALL the time. Dating is hard enough, isn't it??

 

[The Forms]

... Leykis also was the first to point out that you are in fact paying for her exclusivity by asking her out and paying for the date.

Quit taking yourself so serious is what I'd tell a guy who talks like this. You're setting yourself up to not like the women you're dating when you think like this. This "paying for her attention" thing makes you come off as uptight and insecure in dealing with social situations (becasue you're treating a social situation like a business situation, which it is not, and you have to apply the right norms). Some women might approach a date like this, but not the majority. Most see a date as a time to get to know someone new. If he freaks out over something small like this, it doesn't matter if you next her, because she ain't picking up your calls again anyhow.

The guy comes off as a whiney little *****. The girl said she had been waiting on an important call. Talk about overreacting! So she answers her phone, it's maybe a little rude for a FIRST date, but certainly no deal breaker. I once had a girl answer a text message when she was giving me a handjob. Do you think I put my pants back on and said, "well you obviously have more important things to be doing right now?"

If she answers one call, and then apologizes and says, "I've been waiting on an important call," that's fine (which is what she did). No reason to next her. Reading too much into stuff like this is silly. If something like this happens and you react like that, you really need to learn to chill, and quit taking yourself so seriously. Acting like this won't get you laid, it will just get you a lot of ****ty dates.

 

[Aenigma]

WOW.

If that isn't overreacting, I don't know what is. I am POSITIVE the chick would be thanking god you let her know on the first date how much of an uptight drama king prick you are.

If her phone rang when a woman was having dinner with Donald Trump, Brad Pitt, or some other high status alpha male, do you think she would pick it up and talk or mute the ring and apologize for leaving it on?

Yea, I thought so.

Only an idiot would say that she would risk losing such a catch, if even for a night, over anything any of her stupid friends have to say. A high status alpha male knows how valuable he is- hell he has women chasing him every day! He KNOWS he's the catch and that any time a woman spends is a priveledge he grants her. He knows his time is more valuable then hers, and he knows that his value is greater then hers. By talking on the phone in his presence she is, by her actions, stating "I consider your time, value, and attention to be of so little consequence that I may freely waste it by blathering on the phone in your presence when I have your exclusive and undivided attention." A high status alpha male will not tolerate this. When a woman dosen't silence her phone, or takes time to say more then "Sorry, can't talk now", he knows that she does not see him for the valuable male* that he is- and he will think "biiiiiiitch, don't get confused on your place in the big picture; you're nothing compared to me".

Now, I may not be rich (yet). And I may not be famous (yet). And I'm certainly not Donald Trump (yet?). But, I have a very high opinion of myself, my abilities, and my potential. I KNOW that my time, energy, and attention are extremely valuable and are not things to be taken for granted. I am better then 99.999% of woman out there, and if they don't recognize this- they can kindly f-uck off. If a woman thinks she is better the me- she can kindly f-uck off, I don't care how hot and smart she THINKS she is; she can't hold a candle to me.


Like Robert Greene says in 48 Laws of Power,

Law 34- Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like one


*You have to be honest with yourself though. If women aren't treating you like a high status alpha male, there is probably a reason that they think this. Ask yourself what reason/s there are for this, what you can do to fix them, and then get to work. A man unworthy of a crown will not be able to wear one for long.