A Man NEVER has to Grow Old

[STR8UP]

One of the most common subjects on the MM board is the “I’m getting old, what now” type post.

And for the life of me, I can’t figure out WHY so many guys are so worried about getting older. That’s what WOMEN do. Their market value DECREASES with age, whereas a man’s market value INCREASES.

Lets look at two examples.

First, you have a 40 year old guy who “thinks” his potential is all but gone. He has just turned the big FOUR-O, and now any negative feedback from the opposite sex automatically has to do with his AGE. And often times it might be just that, but ONLY because his attitude projected INSECURITY over his age rather than PRIDE.

And it’s really as simple as that. If you think you are old, and act like you are old, other people will TREAT you like you are old.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum you have Hugh Heffner. The guy is what, 80 years old? And he lives in a mansion and has three girlfriends and still runs a successful business.

BUT BUT BUT! I hear you saying…..

But what?

If you say “but”, all you are doing is saying that YOU personally COULDN’T live the lifestyle Hef lives….that YOU personally don’t believe that you are good enough to achieve his level of success in life and with women.

BUT BUT BUT! “It’s all a lie!” “He probably can’t get it up anymore!” BUT BUT BUT!

I don’t wanna hear it.

Sure, not everyone even WANTS to be Hef, I doubt that I would want to be doing what he is doing when I’m 80, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t POSSIBLE.

Realistically most of us won’t be the next Hugh Hefner. But does that mean that as soon as we turn 40 we have to hang it up? Do we have to trade in our Diesel jeans for Perry Ellis slacks? Our sports car for a sedan? Our bad ass bachelor pad for a house in the suburbs?

I got news for everyone. The generation gap that existed 20 years ago…..it doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m sitting here listening to music that I’m sure a lot of 20 somethings enjoy. I can sit down and have dinner with a 22 yr old and talk about music, movies, art, travel, WHATEVER…..without so much as an awkward moment.

You don’t have to aspire to be an 80 year old gigolo, but NEVER, EVER, EVER, let our femi-centric society dictate to you how you should look and behave at a certain age.

Trust me, as a man, it is NOT in your best interest. A man NEVER has to grow old.

 

[guru1000]

Money Post!

This is the truth if this is what you choose to be the truth.

We can sit here and make 1000 excuses of WHY all day long. The answer will always be BECAUSE IT'S YOU.

Now stop making excuses with your defeatist attitudes and get out there in the field. Whether you are 18 or 80, the only one who holds you back is YOU.

 

[lookyoung]

Excellent thread for the mature man. This thread should be in the Bible. I agree with everything you have to say.

 

[reset]

I got news for everyone. The generation gap that existed 20 years ago…..it doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m sitting here listening to music that I’m sure a lot of 20 somethings enjoy. I can sit down and have dinner with a 22 yr old and talk about music, movies, art, travel, WHATEVER…..without so much as an awkward moment.

Great point. With technology and communication the way it is now.... you're only "out of the loop" if you choose.

 

[betterthandead]

I don't know man, I'm pretty jaded about the whole dating scene. As of this point I'm very happy living single although at times I'd like some poontang but unwilling to jump through the hoops for it. I meet a girl, I think she's normal then she turns out to be one of those controlling beasts. I meet another girl and she's already sizing me up, running down a list of things I have or don't have. I meet another girl and she's got a boyfriend/husband.

I've got a new strategy though, since it's been years since I've been doing art I signed up for this upcoming art class at this community college and also decided to take up ballroom dancing.

Never give up, and if you feel depressed/down. Don't even try, take care of yourself first before you get out of the cave.

 

[ketostix]

This is one of the few times I have to disagree with you Str8up. Let's put it this way, you have to mention Hugh Heffner as an example of old guy with younger girl. But what he has is basically a prostitute/john realtionship. The girls don't like him. And how many "Hugh Heffners" are there? Why aren't there a million "Hugh Hefners"? There's millions of younger guys getting the young. All things being equal being much older than the girl is a deficit.

Am I saying a 30-40 year old man can't get an early 20's year old girl. Hell no, that's what I'm doing. But it's because of making it up in other ways, not beacuse being older is an advantage in itself.

 

[iqqi]

This is one of the few times I have to disagree with you Str8up. Let's put it this way, you have to mention Hugh Heffner as an example of old guy with younger girl. But what he has is basically a prostitute/john realtionship. The girls don't like him. And how many "Hugh Heffners" are there? Why aren't there a million "Hugh Hefners"? There's millions of younger guys getting the young. All things being equal being much older than the girl is a deficit.

Am I saying a 30-40 year old man can't get an early 20's year old girl. Hell no, that's what I'm doing. But it's because of making it up in other ways, not beacuse being older is an advantage in itself.

I'd rep you for this, except you suck.

The title says: A Man NEVER has to Grow Old

The problem is... yes, you do. We grow older everyday, fact is, Jack. Til we can't grow old no more, than we DIE.

Some of the ideas in this thread are great, but the title and the fervor and the reasons behind it scream midlife crisis.

Embrace your age. Also embrace what was great about your youth.

I'd advise anyone who is reading this thread and looking for guidance and answers, to refer to this finely written and balanced thread by our esteemed peer Senor Fingers: Growing Up...

 

[ketostix]

I'd rep you for this, except you suck.

The title says: A Man NEVER has to Grow Old

The problem is... yes, you do. We grow older everyday, fact is, Jack. Til we can't grow old no more, than we DIE.

Some of the ideas in this thread are great, but the title and the fervor and the reasons behind it scream midlife crisis.

Embrace your age. Also embrace what was great about your youth.

I'd advise anyone who is reading this thread and looking for guidance and answers, to refer to this finely written and balanced thread by our esteemed peer Senor Fingers: Growing Up...

Nice try but I don't disagree with Str8 on philosophical reasons but only on practicality reasons. That's the difference bettween you and I. So I disagree with you even more.

 

[iqqi]

Nice try but I don't disagree with Str8 on philosophical reasons but only on practicality reasons. That's the difference bettween you and I. So I disagree with you even more.

I thought I was disagreeing over practicality reasons.

Anyways, you don't have to explain anything to me!

I just mostly agreed with what I put in bold. Homie.

 

[Metro3pilot]

I agree with STR8

that being said my knee and back hurt, and I need to take a nap ...where's my damn glasses, I will post more later.

age should not be a limiting factor, it's all in your head

:rockon:

 

[Señor Fingers]

This is by far one of my favorite STR8UP posts ever.

It really is matter of framing things properly!

I would like to add that you can insert just about any excuse here in place of "old" (like short, fat, bald, hairy, asian, white, purple, paisley, ADD, social phobia, OCD, left-handed, right-brained et fuking cetera)

Same rule applies cause it is your perception of these "obstacles" that greatly determines how you handle them (and feel about yourself)

Am I saying a 30-40 year old man can't get an early 20's year old girl. Hell no, that's what I'm doing. But it's because of making it up in other ways, not beacuse being older is an advantage in itself.

In the physical sense you are right, but at the same time you can't sleep on the experience a mature man brings to the table. Girls are forever looking for a father figure to coax out the woman that lies dormant beneath that girlish surface.

As far as I'm concerned, as long as your balls aren't sagging to your knees and you take relatively good care of yourself, there really is no reason why you can't use that older guy mystique to your advantage.

 

[DavenJuan]

damn.. i wish i could show this thread to my good friend who "was" a go getter, high on life, type of guy. he turned 30 and ever since been mildly depressed solely based on his age

this hit home because the only thing that is holding him back not from just women, but from life in general is the fact that he is getting older.

its a mindset... and for my friend "PRINT"

Hopefully this will be a bit inspiring for him.

 

[reset]

he turned 30 and ever since been mildly depressed solely based on his age

Similar thing here. Now I'm aware of it. I'm going to stop making jokes about myself about "being old" at freaking 31. Wherever it comes from, this is a limiting belief based on nothing other than external validation. "other people have said over 30 is old and uncool therefore that's what I am".

 

[MacAvoy]

STR8UP,

I'm pretty sure it was you but I'm not positive but I thought you had a great way of turning the tables & having a 20 year old girl qualify you after she tries busting on your age.

Can you explain it again please. I want to have it ingrained for when those 20 years old start using that line on me.

 

[STR8UP]

This is one of the few times I have to disagree with you Str8up. Let's put it this way, you have to mention Hugh Heffner as an example of old guy with younger girl. But what he has is basically a prostitute/john realtionship. The girls don't like him. And how many "Hugh Heffners" are there? Why aren't there a million "Hugh Hefners"? There's millions of younger guys getting the young. All things being equal being much older than the girl is a deficit.

Good point.

But you have to realize that ALL relationships are symbiotic, meaning each gets something from the other.

Do Hugh's girls go "Ewww.....creepy old guy!" when they kiss him? I doubt it.

Do they get super wet thinking about fukking him? I doubt that as well.

But there exists a middle ground where it isn't exactly a "typical" romantic relationship, which isn't necessarily him handing them money for pu$$y.

I will admit that his example is extreme, and a lot of it is for show. But the point is that he has transcended the limitations society has placed upon him. There's no reason whY ANY of us have to let society shackle us to their collective idea of how you should be when you are a certain age.

Remember the man eater chick I posted about before? It's funny cause in one breath she would say something about me needing to "act my age", then in the next breath she's telling her friend I'm "hot".

That chick was obviously full of sh!t, but I can respect the fact that even though she wasn't always tactful about it, she always spoke what was on her mind. And one of those things was her idea that I shouldn't wear a skullcap or that I shouldn't be taking pictures of my female friends showing their boobs.

This chick didn't even realize that in one breath she was complimenting me because she had at least some attraction, and the next she was criticizing me based upon the kind of person society TOLD her I should be. She didn't even realize that her criticism didn't stem from her OWN perception, but that of society. And the funny thing is, I don't even think society gives a rats ass cause she's the first person to comment on something like that.

Point is, half the time when people say stuff like this they haven't taken three seconds to figure out WHY they are saying it. They just blurt it out because it's a default that is ingrained into them.

Am I saying a 30-40 year old man can't get an early 20's year old girl. Hell no, that's what I'm doing. But it's because of making it up in other ways, not beacuse being older is an advantage in itself.

To a point age IS an advantage.

Obviously a 20 year+ age gap is extreme, but that doesn't mean that a couple cannot have a happy, functional relationship. It doesn't mean that the woman is only a money grubbing leech, and it doesn't mean the man is "creepy" and can only get women because of his money.

 

[STR8UP]

STR8UP,

I'm pretty sure it was you but I'm not positive but I thought you had a great way of turning the tables & having a 20 year old girl qualify you after she tries busting on your age.

Can you explain it again please. I want to have it ingrained for when those 20 years old start using that line on me.

Yea, when the topic of age comes up all you have to do is put her on the defensive. She COULD say that you are "old" which would be considered a negative trait, but the thing most guys don't understand is that you being oldER can just as easily look at her youth as being a negative thing in that she lacks maturity and wisdom. If you BEGIN the interaction from that angle "Awwww....you're just a BABY!" rather than lying about your own age or trying to skirt the topic or play it down or whatever, you have instantly set the frame for HER to qualify herself to YOU, and not the other way around.

Best case is from that point on she is tripping over herself trying to prove to you that she isn't a "baby", worst case is that she will throw it right back at you and you can use it to flirt. Either way, what you DON'T want to do is set the frame that you are too old, and that's what most guys do when they get all nervous around younger women thinking they have to qualify themselves.

This is why I NEVER lie about my age. When the subject comes up throw it out there and be proud, and make HER prove her maturity.

 

[reset]

There's a problem though when we're in our late twenties to mid thirties and speculating about Hugh Hefner. That's a ways a way.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I turned 40 this month, and while I'm not planning on dating anyone anytime soon, I don't think it's so bad. Like pretty much anything else in life, there's a necessary balance you need to accept as well as adjust to when you hit 40. Without glossing myself too much, I've got a lot going for me now - I married well, I have a straight A, well adjusted daughter, I'm reasonably attractive, I'm in better shape than 95% of the guys I know in their early 30s, I have a great career with a LOT of perks, I travel every year - basically I've got nothing to complain about, so I have to take this into stock when I think about getting older.

On one hand i enthusiastically agree with STR8; I generally find most (not all) people my own age or a bit older, incredibly boring. The main reason for this is because most are defeated or on their way to being so due to never really understanding why they keep pushing the same rock perpetually uphill. They get boring, not because they're old, but rather because HOW they matured (or got stalled in their maturity). The connections they should've made when younger are just now showing their consequences and the resulting rationales for the state they find themselves in are predictably being proffered. Thus, they're boring.

Aging doesn't have to be a bad thing, in fact I rather look forward to 50 now because I think I'm learning how to balance aging and adjusting. I find most of my friends are 5-15 years my junior, but they relate to me as a peer. Hell, I still relate with teenagers fairly regularly.

All that said, I think there is some merit to "acting your age" as well, because there's a certain amount of respect that is commanded which comes along with this. That doesn't mean you have to start wearing fedoras and sipping martinis from the golf cart, it's just accepting your status and maturity level.

A good example of this is when I've auditioned for bands since I relocated to Florida. 90% of these bands don't want a 40 y.o. guy to be playing lead guitar for a band of mid to late 20 somethings even though I can smoke every guitarist they'd auditioned to that point. My other option was then to get into a project with some "mature musicians" (dubious at best), but then you have to take them with a grain of salt because most of them aren't done partying yet and still want to booze it at the local biker bar (only place to hire them). My solution was to be more professional and hire myself out as a part time session player (on my own schedule, very important) and do the occasional open mic / jam night thing as I saw fit. It's a blessing and a curse; my age, experience and knowledge make me a great musician, but the same makes me less desirable.

 

[iqqi]

All that said, I think there is some merit to "acting your age" as well, because there's a certain amount of respect that is commanded which comes along with this. That doesn't mean you have to start wearing fedoras and sipping martinis from the golf cart, it's just accepting your status and maturity level.

Thing is, (and I actually love your post), that respect you can command can only be had IF you "act your age".

A 40 year old who is at the bar dressed like a 21 year old, and trying really hard to be the life of the party, just doesn't command the same sort of respect as the man sitting at the table sipping a scotch and smoking a cigar, watching the other 40 year old make a fool of himself.

I think this thread is great but it toes a fine line between promoting retaining a youthful zest and love for life... and acting like a fool in the midst of a midlife crisis.

There ARE differences once you hit your 30's. In your looks, in your life, and in the way people treat you. Its best to be realistic about that, because they aren't even bad differences, unless you are hung up on being young.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It always makes me feel better about my age to see UFC fighters in their mid to late 30's, some pushing 40.