A Man Must Become

[ThunderMaverick]

How do you give rep points anyways?

 

[Bonez]

Men are desired for what they do, women are desired more for what they are.

I was told that before and I think its truer than the original statements.

 

[penkitten]

Men are desired for what they do, women are desired more for what they are.

I was told that before and I think its truer than the original statements.

i could argue that i am not desired for what i am, i am desired for what i do. however, i think it would be best to say that sometimes the grass seems greener on the other side, no matter which side you stand on.
(in total honesty, the grass seems greenest nearest to the septic tank... which is entirely another subject.)

 

[Colossus]

There is something about 'becoming' a Man that separates us from women. Some men dont ever fully 'become', they simply grow into adults.

For cultural examples, look at indigenous tribes around the world. Almost all of them have some sort of initiation period for their boys, and these times are characterized by isolation, danger, separation from their mothers, and often pain. We lack these rites in western culture, so each of us must come to our own through different trials and tests.

Women are valued for what they are (insert adjective here), not so much what they do or have the potential to do. Think of a little girl, dressed in her balarina outfit dancing and singing her heart out on the coffee table to catch her father's love and affection. She wants her father to love her; to be captivated by his beautiful daughter.

Now think of young boys, challenging their pal to jump off the highest bar of the swingset. If he doesnt do it, he is weak. He is shamed and roasted by his fellow boys. If he does do it, he's the f*cking man. He conquered his fear, and maybe he broke his arm, but he did it in honor.

With men, iron sharpens iron.

We grow through challenge, while women grow through praise.

There is truth to the original quote, because women are simply loved for being women. Their essence is Beauty, and each has her own.
Men are loved for what they DO, for what they have become or have the power to become. A man's essence is his Strength.

Its so simple yet so many of us miss it.

 

[STR8UP]

^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^

 

[iqqi]

"Behind every great man, is a stronger woman."

And here are a few more that you won't agree with:


"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."

"One is not born a woman, one becomes one." (I like that one because it just goes to show that most of what can be said about a man... has been said about a woman. And be sure to credit iqqi when quoting that!)

 

[Reluctant_Seducer]

didn't read the other posts but personally;
I feel that a man must become a brother to other men though a leader,a mentor as well as a comrade,better the world for his fellow man.

while being a man to his woman,taking responsibility,doing what needs to be done loving her and the family unconditionally while retaining his role as a father/man for his family.

just my $.02

 

[joekerr31]

"Behind every great man, is a stronger woman."

the only reason this quote exists is because men who are taking on challenging things in the world often value having someone they can trust to share their thoughts with.

in this sense the wife becomes sort of like his trusted confident / therapist / bedroom wh*re.

in this dynamic the world mistakes her contribution as essential. when in truth he would have probably accomplished just as much without her, and simply would have replaced her with a variety of other women.

in addition women sometimes will act as a motivator for some men - they will carry on the struggle to succeed because they want to provide for their wife.

women love to believe that their man wouldn't have been successful had it not been for her, but the truth is in most cases you could toss one woman out and replace her with another and it would all be the same.

in some rare cases this turns out not to be true (can anyone say bill clinton?

 

[iqqi]

"Behind every great man, is a stronger woman."

The thing that strikes me about this quote is the BEHIND part.

I think that a great man would choose a great woman, and it would take a strong woman to be able to let her man's greatness take the shine as opposed to her own.

I think many great men had these kind of women behind them, and it is indeed part of why they were able to be so great.

 

[edger]

a woman on the other than hand, if she so chooses, can bypass creating her own life and simply marry into a males already successful life.

And this is the thing that seriously needs to STOP(otherwise things for us will never improve..really guys, it's serious). It's time men man up, and tell their wives or girlfriends this is no free ride, to go out and try to get a f*ckin' decent job like the rest of us. And therefore threads like this won't have to be created.

most of these women are very good at keep their marriages going.

Very, very true. And when I hear about the divorce rate statistics, I can't understand where they've come from.

 

[STR8UP]

women love to believe that their man wouldn't have been successful had it not been for her, but the truth is in most cases you could toss one woman out and replace her with another and it would all be the same.

in some rare cases this turns out not to be true (can anyone say bill clinton?

The TRUTH of the matter is that it isn't nearly as much that a woman elevates a man to success, as it is that many women stifle a man's potential to be successful.

The right woman= slightly better environment to foster success.

The wrong woman= forget about it.

 

[iqqi]

I think my definition of great might not be the same as many people's definition of successful, so I wouldn't use the two as a synonym for one another.

Often people equate success with cars, money, and women, while I think greatness is something bigger than that in the grand scheme of things.

 

[ketostix]

The TRUTH of the matter is that it isn't nearly as much that a woman elevates a man to success, as it is that many women stifle a man's potential to be successful.

The right woman= slightly better environment to foster success.

The wrong woman= forget about it.

Yeah I agree, the woman is mostly along for the ride and all she can do is screw up the man's greatness and success, or stay out of his way. Also, I'm sure you could find great men that had pretty average wives and even wives that henpecked and criticised his decisions and ideas, yet he was able to tune her out and do what he thought was best anyway.

 

[Colossus]

"Behind every great man, is a stronger woman."

And here are a few more that you won't agree with:


"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."

"One is not born a woman, one becomes one." (I like that one because it just goes to show that most of what can be said about a man... has been said about a woman. And be sure to credit iqqi when quoting that!)

Stop trying to make yourself more important than you are. We're all aware of the smug satisfaction you get out of turning threads into p!ssing matches with little emasculative jabs.

women love to believe that their man wouldn't have been successful had it not been for her, but the truth is in most cases you could toss one woman out and replace her with another and it would all be the same.

This is so true.

The average woman would rather have beauty over brains because she knows that her sexuality and physical beauty is the ONLY power she has over a man, and that is only if he allows it. Which most men will. A good woman can influence her man's success, but is never responsible for it.

Dont try to assume undue credit for something you didnt actually DO, just because you were THERE.


Fundamentally, no human being, male or female, is better than another.

But a Man is Man with or without a woman. Woman is companion.

You could also argue that a woman is a woman with or without a man, which is true, but as I alluded to above, I believe our creator made woman for man, not man for woman. Before anyone takes gross offense to that, re-read the bold sentence.

 

[jonwon]

I'll stick one of my own in:

Behind every great man, is a divorce waiting to happen.

And i would bet there are far more great so called men out there who become great then had a women latch on after the act. ( i can think of several pop stars, film stars and business men at the top of my head).

Or the women saw a potential earner and stuck with him, or her pimp i mean her mum told her to

What a silly quote please link the source, feminist monthly maybe?

 

[joekerr31]

Very, very true. And when I hear about the divorce rate statistics, I can't understand where they've come from.

i should have clarified further. while women are very good at keeping their marriages going (if they want to), they also become comfortable in their routine and end up falling in to the 'give an inch take a mile' scenario.

a woman becomes SOOO comfortable with her control over her AFC husband that she ends up abusing him so much that at some point he snaps back. at which point, she thinks all she has to do is escalate the situation further to regain control. which causes him to fight back. so then she has to escalate it even more. and eventually the two parties have done sooo much damage to each other that its beyond repair.

at which point she is miserable living with him and figures its time to take him to the cleaners.

you can only push even an AFC so far. at some point the AFC will fight back.

but make no mistake about it, women pride themselves on being able to control their men - so when a marriage breaks down, you'd think they'd take responsibility for a lot of it.

but the reality is that they can only control their man to the extent that he is willing to be controlled. and they tend to, over time, lose sight of that and pull so much bullsh*t that at some point he fights back.

the reality is that when a marriage breaks down its usually for reasons that both parties are unaware of. its the result of a process that takes years. of each party neglecting each other.

these AFCs may take sh*t from their wives, but then in return they stop giving her attention (hey, who wants to fawn over some woman that treats you like crap).

anyway, women are good at controlling things during the courtship and honeymoon phases or a relationship. they are typically HORRIBLE at nurturing a relationship long term. the sex dries up, they start nagging, they start blaming their husband for their lack of happiness in life, etc.

 

[joekerr31]

The TRUTH of the matter is that it isn't nearly as much that a woman elevates a man to success, as it is that many women stifle a man's potential to be successful.

The right woman= slightly better environment to foster success.

The wrong woman= forget about it.

yep.

and a big part of the problem is that successful men are often out there giving their wives a huge chunk of the credit for their success. and why?

because if they don't say goodbye to sex and say hello to divorce.

but because they do this women have this childlike belief that they somehow were responsible for their man's success.

no offense, but the fact that he spent 16 hours a day for 20 years building his success is the reason he was successful.

 

[joekerr31]

oh and btw, look at how many single successful men there are out there...

bill mahrer
jerry seinfield
henry rollins
the founders of google

the list goes on and on.

a woman is NOT required to be successful in life. the belief that one is, is yet another facet of the matrix at play.

 

[STR8UP]

anyway, women are good at controlling things during the courtship and honeymoon phases or a relationship. they are typically HORRIBLE at nurturing a relationship long term. the sex dries up, they start nagging, they start blaming their husband for their lack of happiness in life, etc.

Of course! Women want weddings, not marriages, right? Makes sense to me.

A man tends to "settle in" to a marriage, becomes complacent, thinking he can take a breath and relax. The woman then starts to lose the spark and looks for the BBD.

Seriously, besides the horrible odds for success, this is one of the things that turns me off from the idea of marriage. I know, I know, if you have the right woman, blah, blah, but even with the right woman you STILL have to avoid complacency. You STILL have to be the king of the world 9-5 Monday thru Friday AND the king of the world at home. You can't ever turn it off. You can't relax. It's always an uphill battle.

I suppose that's the tradeoff you have to make for all of the benefits of being a man.

 

[bigjohnson]

.... it would take a strong woman to be able to let her man's greatness take the shine as opposed to her own.

By this "logic" the local crackwhôre must be incredible to allow so many others to outshine her.