A Lump of Coal?

[thedeparted]

I just had a hilarious idea... I'm gonna send the girl that dumped me by email after 3 month's a lump of coal. Wrap it up nice in box. Drop it off at her office. With a note not to open until xmas. How awesome will it be when she sees it there, thinks "Awe, the Departed is such a sweet nice guy, what a loser, God what is wrong with him." And then after three days opens it up and finds....

:moon:

PS yeah I know it's freakin' immature. But it's also FUNNY. And how many times has this bltch humped and dumped, expecting that no man would ever call her on her disappearing act, thinking that she is free to use and lose without accountability?

 

[thedeparted]

True. But she already knows that. Other downsides?

 

[MaTuA]

Fvck that!! Just Do It!! Never downplay a flash of genious when you get an idea!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It's part of the human condition to desire what we think is justice. It's our nature to make comparissons, and in the instance of inequality, to see them corrected. And although we rarely consider the ultimate consequences of our actions, this isn't the reason we should temper a desire for vengence. The thing we ought to consider is the overall efforts and resources necessary in order to exact revenge and weigh them against the things we might achieve for our own betterment by redirecting them to our own purposes. Even the efforts required for a slight revenge are better spent with concerns of our own.

This might seem like a longwinded way of saying "Living well is the best revenge", and to a degree I think that's true, but beware the 'Well-lived' life spent in pursuit of revenge. Revenge should never be the motivation for success.

Even the time and mental effort needed to consider some appropriate way of making her aware of how she mad e you feel are resources better spent on meeting new prospective women who will reciprocate your interest.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Rollo's right.

 

[Warrior74]

that shyt is lame. Forget about her. why are you even still thinking about her? 3 months? Damn. That's pathetic son. Still hurt eh?

 

[thedeparted]

well I already fvcked another girl. I live well enough. and I don't want her back. I didn't even like her that much in the first place.

I just don't like how women get a free ride no matter how they behave. she's gonna be fvcking the new guy, whispering the same BS to him, and lining up the next branch just like she did with me.

in the old days, she'd get a reputation. but today, anything goes, and it's so anonymous you'll never know what you're dealing with. I think it's a problem for society as a whole. so this was just my idea of a way to right a wrong. as long as we're always turning the other cheek, we'll keep getting smacked.

I guess that nobody agrees with me. but when I look back on other women that treated me badly where I did nothing, I feel bad. but when I look back on those that paid for it somehow, I feel much better. it seems like a little revenge, a little justice, is good for my twisted soul. maybe I'm a vengeful b@stard, and maybe it's morally weak, but tit for tat is a proven strategy, and I am neither a christian nor a gentleman.

PS if it blows up in my face that will be my own damn fault, which I can certainly live with.

 

[slaog]

I normally would say don't bothar with her but fvck it, it's christmas. Go for it!


Give her a pack of condoms and tell her give one to each of her men. That'll really make her feel proud of herself.

 

[romangod]

With your luck, the lump of coal will turn into a huge diamond after 3 days and she'll never have to work again.


Don't do it!


Cheers!

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

It's totally immature. I wouldn't do it. It just tells her that you are not over her yet.

 

[wjh]

Lame and immature.

I personally have better things to do with my time.

 

[Warrior74]

well I already fvcked another girl. I live well enough. and I don't want her back. I didn't even like her that much in the first place.

I just don't like how women get a free ride no matter how they behave. she's gonna be fvcking the new guy, whispering the same BS to him, and lining up the next branch just like she did with me.

in the old days, she'd get a reputation. but today, anything goes, and it's so anonymous you'll never know what you're dealing with. I think it's a problem for society as a whole. so this was just my idea of a way to right a wrong. as long as we're always turning the other cheek, we'll keep getting smacked.

I guess that nobody agrees with me. but when I look back on other women that treated me badly where I did nothing, I feel bad. but when I look back on those that paid for it somehow, I feel much better. it seems like a little revenge, a little justice, is good for my twisted soul. maybe I'm a vengeful b@stard, and maybe it's morally weak, but tit for tat is a proven strategy, and I am neither a christian nor a gentleman.

PS if it blows up in my face that will be my own damn fault, which I can certainly live with.

this is the part where I call you an idiot. It ain't your job to hold women accountable or to bring justice. What are you, the Frank Castle of relationships?

ya! you fvcked one girl. LOL. obviously that don't mean shyt cause you still on this lame weak man business.

Don't try to dress it up and justify it. Just admit it. She hurt you and you want to hurt her back. Say that outloud. Look at your self in the mirror and say that to yourself. Until you face that truth you will stay with these delusions of justices and vengence and accountablility. But in reality, She hurt you, and you want to hurt her back.

But this will not hurt her. She isn't thinking of you. She hasn't thought about you. She has moved on and you are not important to her. Your gift will not matter, because you don't matter to her. This will hurt you even more. Now not only are you hurt, your insignificant as well. Doing this is just bringing more negativity in your life. Nothing positive.

Just admit it to yourself. She hurt me, I want to hurt her back. Be honest. Good luck.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Contrary to popular belief, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. And you're not indifferent to her.

 

[thedeparted]

well, I've been indifferent to her for a month, Rollo. is that gonna have any impact? since she never heard from me again she just conveniently *forgt* about me entirely, right? her point in cutting me off with an email was precisely to wipe her hands of everything with minimal effort. her last line was like "and there is really nothing more to say." by remaining silent don't I just enable her to get the last word and treat me like a bad one night stand? how can you have any respect for yourself if you just let a girl walk out on you like that?

anyway, the plan hit a snag b/c coal is flammable and can't go USPS. I'd have to ship UPS hazmat or else deliver it in person which is way too much effort. but I don't like going quietly into that good night like a little boy to his corner. there must be something a guy can do in this situation to even the score. I've waited a month, and I'll wait more if necessary. but I'm not letting this shlt go unanswered, that is unacceptable

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

well, I've been indifferent to her for a month, Rollo.

No, you haven't. If you were indifferent you wouldn't worry about having an 'impact' on her, nor would you have even started this thread.

Now think of this, what could you have done with all of the energy, time and effort you've put into brooding about an appropriate 'impact' you could make? You're the PRINCE; if she can't appreciate that then does she deserve anymore of your consideration? That's impact enough; all you're doing now is wasting time.

 

[Warrior74]

he's made up his mind. let him burn. I knew he made up his mind when he didn't respond to my post at all. She hurt him and he's trying desperately to hurt her back. Dood, just go out like a real bytch and bust the windows out her car and slash her tires and write "I LOVED YOU!" in lipstick on her windshield! LOL.

He doesn't think that any of us have been where he is, and that we are telling him this advice not out of some cationary DJ dictum, but from hardcore experience and life lessons. Apparently the consensus is wrong and he is right. Because of course none of us know what the hell he's really "going through". Waaaaaaah! LOL.

 

[ketostix]

well I already fvcked another girl. I live well enough. and I don't want her back. I didn't even like her that much in the first place.

I just don't like how women get a free ride no matter how they behave. she's gonna be fvcking the new guy, whispering the same BS to him, and lining up the next branch just like she did with me.

in the old days, she'd get a reputation. but today, anything goes, and it's so anonymous you'll never know what you're dealing with. I think it's a problem for society as a whole. so this was just my idea of a way to right a wrong. as long as we're always turning the other cheek, we'll keep getting smacked.

I guess that nobody agrees with me. but when I look back on other women that treated me badly where I did nothing, I feel bad. but when I look back on those that paid for it somehow, I feel much better. it seems like a little revenge, a little justice, is good for my twisted soul. maybe I'm a vengeful b@stard, and maybe it's morally weak, but tit for tat is a proven strategy, and I am neither a christian nor a gentleman.

PS if it blows up in my face that will be my own damn fault, which I can certainly live with.

I say give it to her. As you probably know I'm on the fence about the predominant view here, that "indifference will show the woman best". Ironically, that advice is similar to the Christian, "Turn the other cheek". Although, there's another Christian tenet, "If your bretheren transgesses against you go to him and tell him.", or something to that effect. Anyway, never responding to women's bad behavior is what men have been doing for a long while now and has that really resulted in women staying in line? NO.

In this case, you are basically sending the implied message that you don't approve of her. That's not the same thing as saying to her, "You hurt my feelings. If you'd change, I'd take you back wah wah..". It's really just a neg hit, an indicator of disinterest or disapproval. It won't gratify her ego like some here are saying. when guys stay silent whenever a woman doies something wrong, women just rationalize that as a sign of no backbone and carte blanche to do anything they want.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Gotta weigh in on this one. Ok so you want to exact revenge? SILENCE. PURE AND TOTAL SILENCE. That's all she deserves of you. Go forth and build your kingdom. Fill your datebook with women deserving of your time and effort. If you had truly moved forward, even if you have been sleeping with another woman tells me that you still hold captive the idea that you can have an "effect" on this former womans psyche. You think she cares? Not at all, she will laugh at you. How's that grab you? She will get the better of you by LAUGHING at your "weak and pathetic" in her mind gesture. You want to give her that opportunity? Well if so, by all means waste a day finding the prettiest example of carbon you can find, wrap it up real nice with a bow, and realize you will get NO reply or comment from her, but when she opens it she will LAUGH OUT LOUD at your childishness. NOW is that how you want this to roll?

OR do you want to spend that day at the gym working on you, do you want to spend it with a new plate trying out a new venue, or concert, or snowshoeing in the mountains. Sounds to me the VICTORY here is INDIFFERENCE as previous posters have advocated. By all means tho....if you want to make a fool of yourself go forth and waste your time on a woman that has hurt you.

KC

 

[STR8UP]

I think there is a BIG difference between showing disapproval toward a woman you are dating who exhibits bad behavior, and trying to get back at a woman who has left you and doesn't want to be with you.

The former is about you setting your boundaries and not taking any sh*t so you can prevent more misbehavior down the road.

In the latter, the woman has already decided that you are not worth her time. It doesn't matter what you do or say to show your "disapproval," she's done with you. So putting in the effort of sending some kind of message like "you're a slut! Here's some coal," will only serve to confirm for her why her interest level in you dropped.

Exactly.

Big, BIG difference between setting boundaries and exacting revenge. One is beneficial and constructive, the other is counterproductive and DESTRUCTIVE.

The only thing that you need to remember is that in a situation like this you have NO leverage, and as such your actions will DAMAGE YOU and EMPOWER HER.

 

[ketostix]

I think there is a BIG difference between showing disapproval toward a woman you are dating who exhibits bad behavior, and trying to get back at a woman who has left you and doesn't want to be with you.

The former is about you setting your boundaries and not taking any sh*t so you can prevent more misbehavior down the road.

In the latter, the woman has already decided that you are not worth her time. It doesn't matter what you do or say to show your "disapproval," she's done with you. So putting in the effort of sending some kind of message like "you're a slut! Here's some coal," will only serve to confirm for her why her interest level in you dropped.

She doesn't want to be with him, so a "neg hit" is not going to affect her. Waste of time, and a chump move.

I do see the distinction and you make a good point. I'm just saying while it doesn't really do the OP much good now to send her this gift, it doesn't harm him either. And most of all I don't see her gaining any more victory if he does than she does by him going silent. Women have the mentality of, "Even if I don't like someone I still want them to like me". She won't be under any allusion that he still does moreso than if he just stayed silent contrary to what a lot of guys here are saying. It's still a greater negative reinforcer than silence, and while it might not benefit the OP it will make her think twice about acting the same way next time.

All I'm saying is going silent doesn't have as much effect on women as some people say. And it's not much of a negative reinforcer for females' bad behavior as evidenced by most guys going silent yet women's behavior continues to worsen if anything. The same logic that says women will twist a message sent into her favor applies to the message of silence too. Besides if he's willing to burn a bridge and it makes him feel better, it's not that big of a deal.