A little panicked; going on first date with high value woman, advice please!

[RickR13]

So, we had our date last night. It went well. We met a local pub and had a couple of apps and few drinks. She was totally into me. I didn't even have to try. I kissed her at the bar and she invited me to her house. Preceded to explain that I'm the exception, this is not her norm, shes doesn't typically do anything like this (inviting men over, let alone someone she just met) , yadda yadda yadda. Her house is 5,000 square feet lol. Just her and her 2 daughters live there part time. We ended up talking and making out. Slept on her couch. She was way into me and wants to see me again right away, yikes. I'm not sure how i feel about all of this. ;/ Guess I'll go with it and see what happens. She makes a lot of money, but I paid for the food and drinks. That's all I got for now.

Any advice on how to proceed with this thing?

 

[RickR13]

Update...

Date 2 last night. Although she said she doesn't consider it a real date, as we went out for an appetizers and some beers at a bar. I picked her up at her place, and we went to the pub. Had a real good conversation. We both had a few beers so feeling relaxed.

Lots of good topics discussed. She told me about some past relationships, current life issues, and what shes looking for. Not to be whatever, but she is really into me. I'm an interesting guy, with good looks and charisma as she puts it. I feel like I'm in the drivers seat with this one which is nice for a change. She definitely says way more nice things about me than Ive said about her.

We ended kissing a lot sitting at the bar. In fact she wanted to make a point that I was someone special to her so at one point she climbed up on my lap and planted a long wet kiss on. There weren't a whole lot of people there, but maybe 10 or so? We were sitting smack dab at the middle of the bar so this was all happening there in the open. I paid for the drinks and food again. No offer on her part.

We left and went back to her place where we talked while lying on the couch. Not much more kissing went on, but she made it clear she wanted to build a relationship before she sleeps with someone. She is totally sexual, and made a point of letting me know that. Not that hadn't figured it out already, but she said she would prefer sex every night, and her biggest two things in a relationship are trust and sexual chemistry. Fell asleep with her only to drive home at 4a as I had to work this morning.

So anyway, I could go on, but so far its going well. Again, this is a successful woman that needs no one to provide for her. Funny thing is I'm not intimidated at all, in fact my confidence is turning her on big time. To be honest Ive always been a little passive, so I'm intrigued at how this thing is playing out as well.

She wants to date on Valentines Day, but I have my daughter that night and dont know if I can swing it. I offered to make it up over the weekend if it doesn't work out, but she really wants to do something Thursday. How would you guys handle Valentines Day with this woman?

 

[RickR13]

Yeah, I probably could have, without going into details though I'm a bit hesitant. I'm not exactly sure what would have happened after that. I can see it happening soon though. this girls is horny as hell.

Will ramp it up on the next date, test her a bit.

 

[GotED?]

My .09 cents on this is:

1) She has low-self esteem - as most women with 'baggage' does so unconsciously knowing they are not high valued target as other women without children. You MAY think she is high valued because she is rich, but her having 2 daughter would turn off a lot of men other than hump & dump scenarios.

2) She may have a history of short-term relationships. The fact is true that a woman who comes on strong in the beginning, burns out even quicker in the short run and can't finish the race. There certainly are (both men and women) those who get too blinded by the excitement of a new 'love' that when that feeling burns off, so does the new man. Just watch out for that behavior in her past.

3) She may have control issues. Any woman who says she wants to wait for sex because she values a connection and relationship first could be a) absolutely true or b) a control freak and manipulator knowing the value of her vaggie hole. Don't be played for too long, though quality women typically will wait a while.

Good luck,

Exodus

 

[RickR13]

My .09 cents on this is:

1) She has low-self esteem - as most women with 'baggage' does so unconsciously knowing they are not high valued target as other women without children. You MAY think she is high valued because she is rich, but her having 2 daughter would turn off a lot of men other than hump & dump scenarios.

I'm not sure about this. She's has made it clear that her two daughters are her #1 priority. So far shes told me that shes had plenty of men, successful men, date her, and an actual marriage proposal to her since her divorce. But none have been what she is searching for, from what I can tell is a natural chemistry. I dont get any low self esteem vibes from her, although its only been two dates so that may come thru at some point. Don't see any right now though.

2) She may have a history of short-term relationships. The fact is true that a woman who comes on strong in the beginning, burns out even quicker in the short run and can't finish the race. There certainly are (both men and women) those who get too blinded by the excitement of a new 'love' that when that feeling burns off, so does the new man. Just watch out for that behavior in her past.

Yep, I'm aware of this and that's why I'm trying to set the pace in some regards. Going to keep her in my frame as not to burn through this initial phase.

3) She may have control issues. Any woman who says she wants to wait for sex because she values a connection and relationship first could be a) absolutely true or b) a control freak and manipulator knowing the value of her vaggie hole. Don't be played for too long, though quality women typically will wait a while.

Good luck,

Exodus

I'm a bit uncertain at this point as she is very sexual, but has also looked me dead in the eye and explained how she feels about relationships, and with ours just beginning, she specifically has stated she needs to be ready. To be honest the tension is a bit attractive to me at this point, so I'm just going to go along for now and try not too rush it too much. I cant see her holding out much more than a couple more dates to be honest.

Thanks for the input!

 

[GotED?]

I'm not sure about this. She's has made it clear that her two daughters are her #1 priority. So far shes told me that shes had plenty of men, successful men, date her, and an actual marriage proposal to her since her divorce. But none have been what she is searching for, from what I can tell is a natural chemistry. I dont get any low self esteem vibes from her, although its only been two dates so that may come thru at some point. Don't see any right now though.

Just a quick reply to your comment above:

This to me would be a very small but TBD possible redflag. Anyone woman who tries to talk a big talk and especially talks herself up in front of you is almost 90% guaranteed low-self image and low-self esteem.

A truly confident individual (both men and women) would have no need to ascertain their level of value by talking about it. They would truly be humbled and let you figure it out what they are worth. One who has to brag about how much attention he or she gets, is a) certainly an Attention Wh0re and b) is an empty talking shell without much inside.

Just be careful about any signs of crazyiness in the future.

Enjoy.

Exodus

 

[BeDJ]

Rollo branded this shit in my head.

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to **** you will find a way to **** you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, **** the **** out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to **** will find a way to ****. The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who ****ed the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.

From here

If you have been out on a few dates and she tells you to wait while you're both naked in bed, something is amiss. Maybe she won't have sex until a relationship, until marriage, until meeting her parents, until Christmas, until whatever reason. Then, sex no longer happens naturally, instead, it's a negotiation - on her terms. Sex is now a reward and she will be using that to control the relationship.

Edit: Rollo freestyle rappin' again. Replace **** with fυck.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

In answer to the Valentine's Day question: I wouldn't do shiznit.

Seriously - you JUST met her. Anything involving birthdays, holidays, V-Days, etc. within the first 90 days shouldn't even be on the radar. As much as you think you know her, you do NOT know her that well just yet. As such, she hasn't earned the privilege of being taken out by you on Valentine's Day.

Thank god you have a daughter - she's the perfect built-in excuse as to why you can't take her out that day. Let her know that, much like she said about her daughters, your daughter comes first - heck, tell her you're doing daughter-father stuff for V-day. if she likes you she should eat that right up; if she's all about herself and starts boo-hooing you for spending time with your daughter vs. her, at least you'll know the kind of person you're dealing with.

And then, when you take her out this weekend, don't do any make-up V-Day stuff; just make it a normal date. Again, she hasn't EARNED the right to any V-Day gifts yet, and you shouldn't feel worried about what will happen if you don't get her anything. (Also a though: is she planning on getting YOU something that day?)

Hope this helps!

 

[RickR13]

Rollo branded this shit in my head.

From here

Edit: Rollo freestyle rappin' again. Replace **** with fυck.

I agree with this, but in this case I think she is withholding only because she doesn't want to come off as being too easy, and maybe things haven't turned out the way she anticipated in the past. Wants to try something different. I have no reason to believe it wont happen. The tension is all there.

 

[RickR13]

In answer to the Valentine's Day question: I wouldn't do shiznit.

Seriously - you JUST met her. Anything involving birthdays, holidays, V-Days, etc. within the first 90 days shouldn't even be on the radar. As much as you think you know her, you do NOT know her that well just yet. As such, she hasn't earned the privilege of being taken out by you on Valentine's Day.

Thank god you have a daughter - she's the perfect built-in excuse as to why you can't take her out that day. Let her know that, much like she said about her daughters, your daughter comes first - heck, tell her you're doing daughter-father stuff for V-day. if she likes you she should eat that right up; if she's all about herself and starts boo-hooing you for spending time with your daughter vs. her, at least you'll know the kind of person you're dealing with.

And then, when you take her out this weekend, don't do any make-up V-Day stuff; just make it a normal date. Again, she hasn't EARNED the right to any V-Day gifts yet, and you shouldn't feel worried about what will happen if you don't get her anything. (Also a though: is she planning on getting YOU something that day?)

Hope this helps!

This helps a lot. This is just the reinforcement i was looking for. On that note I completely expect her to respect my decision to not see her on V-Day. Thanks!

 

[RickR13]

If you have been out on a few dates and she tells you to wait while you're both naked in bed, something is amiss. Maybe she won't have sex until a relationship, until marriage, until meeting her parents, until Christmas, until whatever reason. Then, sex no longer happens naturally, instead, it's a negotiation - on her terms. Sex is now a reward and she will be using that to control the relationship.

Edit: Rollo freestyle rappin' again. Replace **** with fυck.

I agree, although we haven't been naked together in bed. If that were the case I can promise you there would be sex lol.

So far its been two dates and we've made out/slept on her couch. Fully clothed.