A girl's perspective on boundaries

[RangerMIke]

You obfuscate and divert the matter at hand to support an illogical conclusion. If your exclusive gf of 3 years starts to appear 20 min late with each meeting and such behavior bothers you, do you (a) dump her/disappear with no explanation; (b) discuss the lateness with her, and then dump her if behavior continues, or (c) stay with her and say nothing.

In the same manner you set your terms to reject the venture, based on your "inadequacies."

You are using an example that honestly does not bother me. Women are ALWAYS late.... It's just the way they are. I'm not trying to obsure anything. If I know that I need to be someplace at 8pm, and it will take me 15 minutes to get there from my girl's house, I will tell her to be ready at 7pm, she'll be 20 minutes late (typical), we'll leave in plenty of time. Why fight about stuff like this, plan around it. You can either stand in the driving rain shaking your fist at the sky while you get soaked: pull out an use you umbrella. Which option makes you look more centered and reasonable?

Okay.... you asked me an honest question. Let me give you an example of something I DON'T tolerate from women. Getting blown off... it's a sign of disrespect. If a women tells me she is going to do something, she better do it. I don't tell them this up front in some sort of chick-like Sheldonesque "relationship agreement". It's common knowledge that people should treat each other with respect...

I'm dealing with this right now with a woman I'm seeing, without going into detail, she failed to do something that she said she would do. This is how I handled it.

I said NOTHING about it. That's right NOTHING. Next time I saw her I just smiled and said nothing, I changed the subject. I don't fight with her, my life is a drama free zone, ...... I just let it go. Silence is a whole lot more powerful than arguing with a women which is pointless, she knows she let you down. If you start acting all butt hurt and chick-like, whinning that your 'boundries' have been violated, then she just turns the emotional agurement on you, that you are acting like a 'child'. And guess what, you ARE acting like a little fvcking girl.

A couple of weeks from now, when I need something else done, I will causally mention to her that I would ask her to do it, but I can't rely on her word to get it done. She'll know what you are talking about.... again don't get all butt hurt about it.

You will get one of two responses. (1) She will apologize and ask for another chance, or (2) say nothing. If she says nothing, walk away, she is a taker with a bad attitude. If she works to prove herself to you again, she may stay.

 

[Soolaimon]

The boundary crew's argument has no substance cause they repeat the same fallacies over and over.

The woman is either going to respect you or not respect you.

The woman is either going to cheat or not cheat.

Setting a boundary is not going to change any of that.

Telling her she can't hang out with other men is not going to stop her from doing so.

If she does hang out with another man you guys claim you are going to dump her.

You certainly don't need an useless verbal boundary to dump a woman.

When she breaks your boundary that makes it useless.

If you were a man of value she would respect you and make it clear to you that she wants no other men. No verbal boundary is needed at all.

The only thing the boundary does is give phony assurance to insecure men who have been cheated on in the past.

They need to have the woman to "agree to their terms" to calm their fears of her hanging out with other men to feel secure.

As we all know verbal words mean nothing and it should be her actions you should be watching instead.

The boundary crew members are ignorant cause the woman can agree to all of their terms and expectations (wink wink) and still have their other men in the background without them being the wiser.

That is called having their cake and eating it too.

Boundaries don't stop cheating or women hanging out with other men.

It's just a security blanket giving phony assurance to insecure men thinking they can control a woman's actions through their verbal boundaries that the women can break with ease.

Looks like Sooli is pro-verbalizing boundaries, having told his plate never to smoke in his car. .

Looks like guru is posting more fallacies in support of his useless boundaries.

You are a divorced 40 year old man. Your wife broke the boundaries you set through marriage and you still argue for them. That is hilarious!

Not wanting a woman to smoke in a car is totally different than you being scared of her hanging out with other men that you are insecure and feel inferior of.

I never "told a plate to never smoke in my car". That's what you boundary guys would do trying to define terms by whining to her to follow your "rules and terms".

When she put a cigarette in her mouth to light up I took the cigarette out of her mouth and threw it out the window and I told her "I don't want people smoking in my car".

I used action when needed not useless verbal words to get in an argument about.

That is what a woman craves. A man of action. Not inferior men defining terms of exclusivity out of insecurity for something that may never happen.

You anti-boundary people are being hypocritical because you are willing to set boundaries over anything on the planet except when it comes to her going out with her male friend.

You are being hypocritical cause you set boundaries telling your woman not to hang out with other men.

But you have no problem with her texting or talking to those men.

When she gets cozy with those men after all that texting and talking she will hang out with them behind your back and you won't be the wiser. She can't let you know she is seeing them cause you set boundaries and she can't let you know she broke them.

Boundaries allow women to hide men from you. Boundaries don't prevent your woman from seeing the men they want to without your knowledge.

That makes your boundaries useless and a waste of time.

If you had high value and she respected you there would be no need for boundaries cause she would never see other men out of fear of losing you.

Sooli is the other guy on here who believes girls will "cut out other men on their own". So is he also saying that they will still keep their male FRIENDS, or will they cut them out also?

You are a divorced man that saw first hand that boundaries are useless when your wife broke your boundaries of marriage. Why do you still argue for them when they failed you and don't work?

Obviously you (and the rest of the boundary crew) have no value to have your pending woman cut men out of her life on her own unless you prod her do so with boundaries and expectations. What does that say about you? That means you have low value and a low quality woman.

I guess you (and the rest of the boundary crew) never had a woman you were dating tell other men "I'm sorry but I'm dating a really great guy right now and he is all that I need. Hope you find what you're looking for."

Women will do that for men of value that they want to be with. They don't need useless jokers around that are less in value.

Trying to tell a woman not to hang out with those men that she hasn't given up yet is what you and your crew does through boundaries.

You are worried about those men she won't give up on her own. So you set boundaries in order for that to happen cause of your insecurity that you guys frame for "strong men of value".

When a woman has a valuable man she doesn't have time for her friends. She is too busy spending time with her man.

If your woman is spending time with her friends then you aren't worth much to her at all. That's why she is with her friends instead of you.

Most people have friends of the opposite sex in their social circle. That is what normal people have. The women aren't out having sex with those men that they rarely see except for group get together's.

Don't you guys ever have parties or get together's with your friends? Or do you just sit there at home hovering around your woman making sure she follows your boundaries every single minute? LOL

Of course, silence. The "anti-boundary" crew can't rebut the above. As stated earlier, their continued communications with women who entertain orbiters are buffers to unconsciously support their compromised relations.

I've refuted everything you and your boundary crew has tried to put forth as your evidence for boundaries.

Setting a boundary makes no difference with a woman who has orbiters.

If she wants to see those orbiters or any other man she will behind your back even with a boundary. The boundary is useless and a waste of time.

If you guys were intelligent enough to screen women properly you would know not to even consider committing to a woman who is entertaining other men trying to put boundaries on her that she may not follow.

I want each of you girlie-men, a/k/a anti-boundary-ers, to take your hands, place them between your legs. Now ... do you have chickpeas or watermelons?

LOL. Says the low value inferior man scared of men who should be less in value.

"Ohhh nooooo she might hang out with this guy after all. I better set a boundary with her so she knows better not to do that and respects me as a man and that I can gain some value in her eyes."

How weak and pathetic is that? LMAO

Notice, at least in this thread, that most "DJs" who oppose boundaries comprise the younger generation. Many young men have been castrated by the feminine imperative, and lack the balls to impose their will upon life.

The principle is rudimentary. Either you have the balls to engage life solely by YOUR terms or you don't.

Grab your balls gentlemen and be men.

Sound like you've been castrated a long time ago worrying about women having more value and power than you. That's why you need to enforce your boundaries to gain phony power on her.

The act of setting boundaries is an imposition of your will upon another, and the antithetical failure to set boundaries, then, is others' (including life's) will imposed upon you. Your will comprises your inherent desires. Accordingly, if your choice belies your desires, then you are subjugated to others' terms, not your own.

Life isn't always about "your terms" all the time cause nobody is ever going to follow "your terms" all the time.

Ask your ex wife how she feels about that statement you just made. LOL

All of you boundary guys have ex wives and girlfriends who refused to follow "your will", "your terms" , "your rules", "your expectations", "your boundaries" that is why they cheated on you with other guys. And you still argue for boundaries. Amazing!

Your boundaries are useless cause they failed you before.

And that is something that none of you boundary guys can refute no matter how hard you try.

 

[guru1000]

You can either stand in the driving rain shaking your fist at the sky while you get soaked: pull out an use you umbrella. Which option makes you look more centered and reasonable?

Neither, just get out of the rain.

A couple of weeks from now, when I need something else done, I will causally mention to her that I would ask her to do it, but I can't rely on her word to get it done. She'll know what you are talking about.... again don't get all butt hurt about it.
.

You just imposed an overt boundary. The only distinction was your delivery was passive-aggressive, but, nonetheless, overt. A covert boundary, which would also be effective, would be saying nothing, just withdrawing attention.

Seems like all the anti-boundary-ers, including Sooli, are, in fact, pro-boundaries. Peaks, your comrades are awaiting; when will you join the darkside?

 

[RangerMIke]

Neither, just get out of the rain.

Something is happening you don't like... you remove yourself for the situation. Exactly.... now why wouldn't you have had a 'boundries' discussion with the rain? Of course you're going to say it's stupid... but is it? Having a boundies discussion with the 'rain' is just as pointless as having a boundries discussion with a woman.

You just imposed an overt boundary. The only distinction was your delivery was passive-aggressive, but, nonetheless, overt. A covert boundary, which would also be effective, would be saying nothing, just withdrawing attention.

Seems like all the anti-boundary-ers, including Sooli, are, in fact, pro-boundaries. Peaks, your comrades are awaiting; when will you join the darkside?

EVERYONE HAS BOUNDRIES, you know stuff you are not willing to live with.
Some of you guys think women are fvcking stupid? Somehow you think that you need to spell out what is proper behavior?.... Come on man.... they know what ticks you off.

Setting boundries does absolutely nothing to improving the chances that you will have a successful LTR... nothing.

 

[guru1000]

Something is happening you don't like... you remove yourself for the situation. Exactly.... now why wouldn't you have had a 'boundries' discussion with the rain? Of course you're going to say it's stupid... but is it? Having a boundies discussion with the 'rain' is just as pointless as having a boundries discussion with a woman.

A fallacy of equivocation: Rain and women are neither homogenous nor interchangeable, thus your entire analogy supports a false conclusion.

EVERYONE HAS BOUNDRIES, you know stuff you are not willing to live with.
Some of you guys think women are fvcking stupid? Somehow you think that you need to spell out what is proper behavior?.... Come on man.... they know what ticks you off.

As rudimentary as women not knowing that not removing their shoes before entering my house ticks me off, your quoted argument is fallacious in its entirety.

Here's a little secret: Your values were indoctrinated congenitally by the hands of social conditioning. No two people--man or women--share 100% congruent thinking patterns and values.

Setting boundries does absolutely nothing to improving the chances that you will have a successful LTR... nothing.

Exactly, now you get it. Boundaries are set to facilitate your exit, not to keep an LTR.

 

[:-)]

In the same manner you set your terms to reject the venture, based on your "inadequacies."

But isn't what you say a non-sequitur. I didn't reject the venture. The venture is still ongoing. I merely questioned the methods.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Im reading through the new pages just makes me realise more and more why you must spin plates.

Couse if you give your heart to just 1, youre toast. Exactly how much toast is another matter.

I think boundary should be set with not ****ing other people when you feel you want to be exclusive, and if she takes it badly tell her peeps nowadays have interesting definitions of "exclusive" so you are obliged to talk about it. Always be polite when talking to people, not only women, polite and firm, you will see how many doors this opens.


Now the attention shower - you cant stop this if the girl's self esteem is low you cant fix that - just relax and take notes and discard if you feel desrespect arose.

 

[jurry]

Sooli ftw.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

The neutered anti-boundary crews "attractiveness" only lasts until they verbalize a boundary. Since of course in their opinions any and all woman will leave them and or ignore any boundary they would place in an exclusive relationship if they dared bring it up.

 

[sylvester the cat]

The neutered anti-boundary crews "attractiveness" only lasts until they verbalize a boundary. Since of course in their opinions any and all woman will leave them and or ignore any boundary they would place in an exclusive relationship if they dared bring it up.

There is no anti boundary crew. That has already been established. We are all pro boundaries. We just differ on how to execute said boundaries.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I have found that women can be reasonable and respond to explicit expectations. Atom Smasher said it well that men are the leaders and women look to the men to lead. Part of doing that is by communicating your expectations when she requests exclusivity.

If you don't train your dog, how will it know in what manner to act?

NOT EVEN MEN can agree on what is acceptable behavior by women.....so how is a woman to know?

Danger, we're not talking with men here who have had any kind of experience with successful long-term relationships. It's all theory and guesswork stemming from lack of experience and a DEFINITE lack of understanding of the core spirit of women.

Remember how many times I've talked about my girlfriends snuggling up to me and thanking me for setting boundaries? Not once has that been acknowledged by the theorists.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Women are the ocean, men are the rocky shoreline. The ocean needs the shoreline in order to have definition. When the shoreline is breached, the ocean overruns the land and dissipates as there is nothing left to contain and define it. The ocean becomes a non-entity without its defining boundaries. Such is the spirit of a woman.

Coincidentally, when the shoreline is breached it becomes an impotent "nothing" to the ocean. It is incapable of containing and defining her.

The spirit of the woman craves the containing and defining spirit of the man. She follows his lead, his instruction. Women most assuredly do not intrinsically know right from wrong when it comes to male/female relationships. They completely lack an internal locus of control. They look to the man for that. When single, they look to the herd for definition. This is a temporary definition in order to keep her psychologically integrated as a human being.

When giving herself to a man she is leaving the protection and paradigm of the herd and adopting her man's paradigms. This is what submission is. If she is not given definition and instruction in boundaries, she cannot be a fully committed and loyal partner because she will disintegrate, being neither part of her former herd nor part of an alpha's "pack", under his guidance and protection.

Authentic, feminine women recognize their craving for leadership and expressed boundaries. Although a handful may verbally object, their wiring and capabilities of mind supersede.

For some women these boundaries need to be spelled out verbally. For others, it becomes established in a more casual conversation. Again, this is where a man either succeeds or fails in making his expectations clearly known by the skillful use of language. Women understand subtext very, very well, even if subconsciously. It's up to the man to express his expectations in a way she can understand.

It is rather amusing to see these theorists making arguments for women that women themselves would ultimately reject. My women have always stuck around for the long haul because they took (and take) comfort in the defining, containing and protecting boundaries that I've set for us. I don't think of it as "set for her", but rather "set for us".

 

[sylvester the cat]

Remember how many times I've talked about my girlfriends snuggling up to me and thanking me for setting boundaries? Not once has that been acknowledged by the theorists.

This girl thanked me too for setting boundaries. She also snuggled quite regularly stating how many times she liked being told what to do:


http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224931

Luckily my eyes were open from the start.

 

[zekko]

Some of you guys think women are fvcking stupid? Somehow you think that you need to spell out what is proper behavior?.... Come on man.... they know what ticks you off.

Setting boundries does absolutely nothing to improving the chances that you will have a successful LTR... nothing.

Danger was right, this has been DEBUNKED about a million times. The MEN on this forum cannot even agree on what proper behavior is, but you expect all women to know?

Whatever arguments you no boundary people make, I don't want to hear this one again. It simply is NOT true. I don't want to hear any more of this "They'll do what is right ON THEIR own" idea, it's nonsense.

Boundaries are set to facilitate your exit, not to keep an LTR.

Agreed, and very well put. You don't set boundaries to hold on to someone, you set them so that they know how to please you while they are with you, and so they know that certain actions will end the relationship.

As I've said before, we ALL draw the line somewhere. Simply saying "cheating" doesn't do it. Where is the line? Does the penis have to enter the vagina? Spending the night in bed? Showing her boobs? Grinding on a guy's c0ck, clothes on, on the dance floor? 10 minutes of soul kissing? A five second kiss on the lips? A peck on the cheek? Going out for drinks together? Having lunch together? Going to the zoo for the day? Coffee date? Liking someone on Facebook?

We all know where we draw the line, shouldn't the two of you agree on what the point is? That's what setting boundaries accomplishes. It's not as simple as simply saying "intercourse", unless that really is where you draw the line, lol. But I think most of us find other actions disrespectful long before intercourse occurs. The question is, where is that point?

 

[RangerMIke]

Exactly, now you get it. Boundaries are set to facilitate your exit, not to keep an LTR.

Sorry. This makes no sense to me. Why would you need to set boundries for yourself, wouldn't you know what you are willing to tolerate? Laying the framework for what will drive you away? Really?

 

[guru1000]

Sorry. This makes no sense to me. Why would you need to set boundries for yourself, wouldn't you know what you are willing to tolerate? Laying the framework for what will drive you away? Really?

Maybe your course of action and thinking will answer your own question:

A couple of weeks from now, when I need something else done, I will causally mention to her that I would ask her to do it, but I can't rely on her word to get it done. She'll know what you are talking about.... again don't get all butt hurt about it.

Here, you lay out an overt boundary. Now:

You will get one of two responses. (1) She will apologize and ask for another chance, or (2) say nothing. If she says nothing, walk away, she is a taker with a bad attitude. If she works to prove herself to you again, she may stay.

If option (2), your boundary and her ensuing response facilitates your exit. Using your own words, does it make sense now?

 

[RangerMIke]

Danger was right, this has been DEBUNKED about a million times. The MEN on this forum cannot even agree on what proper behavior is, but you expect all women to know?

Whatever arguments you no boundary people make, I don't want to hear this one again. It simply is NOT true. I don't want to hear any more of this "They'll do what is right ON THEIR own" idea, it's nonsense.


Agreed, and very well put. You don't set boundaries to hold on to someone, you set them so that they know how to please you while they are with you, and so they know that certain actions will end the relationship.

As I've said before, we ALL draw the line somewhere. Simply saying "cheating" doesn't do it. Where is the line? Does the penis have to enter the vagina? Spending the night in bed? Showing her boobs? Grinding on a guy's c0ck, clothes on, on the dance floor? 10 minutes of soul kissing? A five second kiss on the lips? A peck on the cheek? Going out for drinks together? Having lunch together? Going to the zoo for the day? Coffee date? Liking someone on Facebook?

We all know where we draw the line, shouldn't the two of you agree on what the point is? That's what setting boundaries accomplishes. It's not as simple as simply saying "intercourse", unless that really is where you draw the line, lol. But I think most of us find other actions disrespectful long before intercourse occurs. The question is, where is that point?

LOL!!! this is really funny!

If you are in an exclusive realtionship with a women... trust me... she knows more about you than you know about yourself. She already knows what you will and will not tolerate. You are not talking about generalities, and some generic woman amoung a multitude. You are talking about a man and woman who know each other well enough to agree to exclusivity.

Truth is, I guess, that I really don't care about boundries because I'm not willing to have any for myself. On occasion a woman I'm dating brings up exclusivity.... I push back, sometimes she hangs around for awhile, but eventually she will leave. All the other women I see are completely free to fvck whomever they want. They can even do it right in front of me and I could not care less.

If setting boundries works for you then go ahead and do it... personnally I do not feel the need to articulate what I already know about myself, and what I am willing to tolerate.

Like I said before, they ONLY thing I care about is they they do what they say they are going to do. They know this without me saying anything, mostly because I LEAD BY EXAMPLE. I am true to my word, and that is what I expect.

 

[Soolaimon]

Here's a question for the boundary crew.

When you go out to a restaurant or to a store with your woman do you have to "define terms" or "inform her" that you need to pay for the merchandise or meal first before you leave the premises? LOL.






The point is every member of the boundary crew has failed marriages and relationships with boundaries.

But they still argue for them and believe boundaries to be everything after they saw first hand that they don't work through their own experiences.

Crazy!

Setting boundries does absolutely nothing to improving the chances that you will have a successful LTR... nothing.

Exactly. But the boundary crew refuses to admit that even though their relationships and marriages failed with boundaries. You would think they wouldn't be in so much delusion when they all saw first hand that is doesn't work.

All boundaries do is give the insecure man the phony assurance that he needs to feel secure with the woman he feels uneasy about.

He tells the woman she can't hang out with other men. He can't feel secure until she "agrees to his terms".

So what if she agrees to "your terms" at that particular time.

When she wants to she will hang out with another man. Your verbal words does nothing to stop that except to show off your insecurity of informing her you don't want her to do that.

If she was a quality woman who respected you there would be no need to inform her cause she wouldn't have a collection of orbiters around.

Men and woman cannot have a bonafide friendship. For a man/woman friendship to exist, at least one party must desire the other.

It takes 2 people to have sex.

Every man will desire a hot woman.

When the hot woman has no attraction for the man he isn't going to get laid.

Boundaries are set to facilitate your exit, not to keep an LTR.

Like I said you don't need to set a boundary in order to facilitate your exit. That's pathetic. Just do it.

Your verbal words isn't going to change her behavior on what she wants to do.

How did your verbal boundaries work out with your ex wife?

Whatever arguments you no boundary people make, I don't want to hear this one again. It simply is NOT true. I don't want to hear any more of this "They'll do what is right ON THEIR own" idea, it's nonsense.

LOL. Only you and your crew thinks it's nonsense cause you never had a quality woman do things for you before.

When you commit to an idiot and you have low value you run into problems having to act like a parent instead of a boyfriend. You committed to the wrong woman and with your ex wife. That's your own fault.

You never had a woman tell another guy this? "I'm sorry but I'm dating really great guy right now and he is all that I need."

That action is what my woman did to other men. She verbally told them she doesn't need them anymore. That is her doing it on her own. Getting rid of other men. Quality women do that for valuable men.

You don't need to sit them down defining terms or smoothly get them to drop men through slick nuances. They do it on their own. When you see them doing that you know they understand what exclusivity means.

Therefore you don't need to verbalize an useless boundary to them cause they already are doing what you want.

If you guys have to resort to defining terms you have low value and a low quality woman you're expecting to be quality.

That will be a fail like you guys have already found out through your failed marriages and relationships with boundaries.

We all know where we draw the line, shouldn't the two of you agree on what the point is?

Here is more of your failed boundary logic.

Of course the woman will agree with you at the start that you shouldn't see other people.

When she loses attraction for you down the road she will start to see other men.

That agreement you made at the beginning won't matter to her anymore making it useless.

The agreement you made at the start does nothing to change the outcome of your relationship. It's only for your assurance.

If you're a lousy boyfriend she isn't going to give a sh1t about your "agreement". She will cheat on you and dump you.

Remember how many times I've talked about my girlfriends snuggling up to me and thanking me for setting boundaries? Not once has that been acknowledged by the theorists.

I've acknowledged this several times.

Those are your ex girlfriends. The boundaries didn't work. If they liked the boundaries so much why aren't you still with those women?

Some women are stupid and need to be told how to do everything. Those are women you avoid like the plague cause when you're not around to guide them they will break your boundaries cause they are too stupid to think on their own.

Maybe you guys have a lot of time to guide your women 24/7 but I certainly don't.

I prefer women who are classy intelligent and respectful where I don't have to tell them what is right and wrong for everything little they do.

You guys are committing to the wrong women and not screening them properly.

Personally I like it when the woman snuggles up next to me telling me "You're the only guy that I want and need in my life." after she got rid of the other jokers. That shows the value I have and that she understands what I'm looking for.

I didn't need to "define terms", "give expectations", "smoothly convey to her she should only be with me" in order for her to come to that conclusion.

That is what value does for you and what quality women will do for you.

For some women these boundaries need to be spelled out verbally.

Those are women you should not commit to cause they are too stupid to know any better. When you're not around they are going to think it's ok to cheat without your guidance. Those women are not LTR material. That is why you screen them and decline an exclusive relationship with them.

For others, it becomes established in a more casual conversation. Again, this is where a man either succeeds or fails in making his expectations clearly known by the skillful use of language. Women understand subtext very, very well, even if subconsciously. It's up to the man to express his expectations in a way she can understand.

When you are a man of value and have a woman telling other men "I'm sorry but I'm dating really great guy right now and he is all that I need" you don't need to set any verbal boundaries cause she is doing it for you and she understand very, very well what an exclusive relationship is on her own without you having to define terms or give expectations to.

You can define all the terms you want in anyway you like. When her interest level drops she isn't gong to care about the terms you defined previously.

She is going to do what she wants seeing other men and then you are going to have to dump her just like if you never set a boundary. The boundary is useless and does nothing. It's an imaginary security blanket to ease your worried mind of her wanting to see other men. It does not prevent her from doing so.

The boundary is there only to give yourself assurance that you informed the woman cause you're worried about her seeing other men.

The boundary has no affect on her interest level and attraction when it drops. It becomes meaningless and forgotten.

Women can agree to your terms and still keep other men in the background to avoid a confrontation. The boundary does nothing to stop that.

Women should show you through their own actions that they understand exclusivity. Not you trying to inform them what it means.

My woman explicitly showed me she understand what it means. That is why our relationship is successful.

The other guys had women not showing them through their own actions what it means. They had to tell her what they expect from her. That's why their marriages and relationships failed when the women lost interest or didn't care to follow or understand the terms they put forth.

Boundaries are useless and a waste of time.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

Here's a question for the boundary crew.

When you go out to a restaurant or to a store with your woman do you have to "define terms" or "inform her" that you need to pay for the merchandise or meal first before you leave the premises? LOL..

At times yes you do. If a chick gets something for you and you two go out later on she may reach for her purse and you'd tell her: I got this one.

You do date women don't you?

When you are a man of value and have a woman telling other men "I'm sorry but I'm dating really great guy right now and he is all that I need" you don't need to set any verbal boundaries cause she is doing it for you and she understand very, very well what an exclusive relationship is on her own without you having to define terms or give expectations to.

So in other words your own "girlfriend" verbalized a useless boundary to other dudes who don't care about her useless verbalized boundary.

Your "girlfriend" made it a point to "tell you" explicitly what she tells men who don't care about her useless verbalized boundary?

Does she make a checklist to "report" to you every time she uses her useless verbalized boundary?

Cool "example" bro. No ones buying it unless she knows you're an insecure simp otherwise she wouldn't need to tell you. You'd just KNOW because you're so "valuable" in her eyes. GTFO

 

[Soolaimon]

At times yes you do. If a chick gets something for you and you two go out later on she may reach for her purse and you'd tell her: I got this one.

You do date women don't you?

LMAO someone can't understand sarcasm.

Has nothing to do with a woman being stupid enough not to know what it means to go to a restaurant or store like you guys claim she has no understanding of what a relationship is.

You're The411/Demfeeelz/Tictac

So in other words your own "girlfriend" verbalized a useless boundary to other dudes who don't care about her useless verbalized boundary.

LOL. If they didn't care they wouldn't have wanted to go out with her to contact her before we became exclusive.

It wasn't a "boundary". She was telling them she isn't interested in them.

Your "girlfriend" made it a point to "tell you" explicitly what she tells men who don't care about her useless verbalized boundary?

Quality women will do things for men of value. You have to tell her to get rid of other men cause you have no value,

Does she make a checklist to "report" to you every time she uses her useless verbalized boundary?

LMAO. Why would she? I bet that's what you boundary guys do with your women to make sure she is following through with "your terms".

Cool "example" bro. No ones buying it unless she knows you're an insecure simp otherwise she wouldn't need to tell you. You'd just KNOW because you're so "valuable" in her eyes. GTFO

LMAO. Nice projection! Sure beats having you needing to be insecure enough to stoop so low to define terms to her to get rid of men.

Any woman who wants a man will get rid of jokers they don't need.

Not sure why you and the crew have such a hard time understanding something that isn't that difficult when a woman wants you.

 

[zekko]

Truth is, I guess, that I really don't care about boundries because I'm not willing to have any for myself. On occasion a woman I'm dating brings up exclusivity.... I push back, sometimes she hangs around for awhile, but eventually she will leave. All the other women I see are completely free to fvck whomever they want. They can even do it right in front of me and I could not care less..

Okay, so if you are not interested in being in an exclusive relationship, why are you posting in a thread specifically about being in one?

Regarding girls that you are seeing fvcking other men: Some may find this "I don't give a sh!t" attitude admirable, and if it works for you, great. Personally, I find it repulsive to think about banging the same hole that another penis has recently been in, and it becomes more repulsive exponentially. The more other men she has been fvcking, the more repulsive I find it.

It's like another thread here recently, talking about prostitutes. Maybe one girl has had 30 lovers in her lifetime, the prostitute may have had 30 in the last few weeks. Each is repulsive, the latter is moreso. While it's cool if you don't share this repulsion, I think it is a perfectly natural reaction to. There's an evolutionary advantage to finding a womb that other men's sperm don't have access to. It significantly increases the likelihood of your sperm passing on your DNA.

If setting boundries works for you then go ahead and do it... personnally I do not feel the need to articulate what I already know about myself, and what I am willing to tolerate.

I don't feel a NEED to either. It's just that in my infinite thoughtfulness, I am letting her know what my expectations are so she doesn't find herself out on her @ss. I'm just that cool a guy

Like I said before, they ONLY thing I care about is they they do what they say they are going to do. They know this without me saying anything, mostly because I LEAD BY EXAMPLE. I am true to my word, and that is what I expect.

I agree with leading by example, I am a big proponent of that. I think that's a major part of leading, especially with women, you have to role model proper behavior for them. I am true to my WORD also, which is why I verbalize the boundary.