A Few Things I've Learned
- You must have something going for you. You must have at least one of the following: a solid hobby that challenges you physically and mentally, a musical talent that you enjoy, a good job, a good major in school that reflects your true life ambition, a super charismatic personality, etc. Something. If you are nothing, you will attract nothing. All of these things must come from within you. It must be your core personality. You cannot have a certain hobby because you think it will attract girls. You do not choose a major in school because you think girls will be impressed. You do not affect an outgoing personality just to pick up girls. You must BE someone/something.
- You must like yourself. You must like your own company. It should not matter to you very much if you are alone. You should be able to entertain yourself and be happy with your own pursuits.
- At the same time that you are happy with being alone, to a small degree you should like the company of others. A man is supposed to be a bit of a loner but knows how to socialize.
- The less emotions you show, the better. Always keep something in reserve. Always have a bit of mystery. Always be slightly unpredictable. With experience you’ll learn how to be mysterious without being weird or unpredictable without being unstable or flighty.
- You should not pursue women. If you have the mindset that you are pursuing women, or are trying to get into a particular woman’s pants, you will lose. Rather, you should have the attitude that a woman will be a drain on your life, she will be a lying cheating heartbreaking shrew, and she will lie, cheat and break your heart until proven otherwise. Note the word proven. Women don’t realize they lie. A woman can break up with you, be walking out the door with her new boyfriend, look you square in the eyes and say “I really do love you” and many men will not only believe her, but rest secure in the belief that she will come back to them.
- To repeat: you should not pursue women. Read the first paragraph above. You must have your own life through which you find happiness regardless of whether you have a woman or not. In today’s world society, when a woman is ready, really ready, to be settled, sexy, and loyal, she will pursue you. There will be no mistake. When she is ready, she will cling you you like a sprung bear trap. Just because you ‘fancy’ her or think she’s attractive means nothing to her, in fact, it can spell doom for you.
- Again, you should not pursue women. When she (whoever she is) finds you attractive, she will pursue, yet a person cannot pursue something unless it is retreating. You must appear to retreat. Advance very slightly, then retreat. When a woman sees you and likes what she sees, very often because you don’t seem to notice her, she will find a way to meet you. She will find a way to talk to you. She will find a way to get into your life. A woman in today’s society will pursue.
- You should consider every woman you see as a potential, and take them all on casual dates. Do it by the rules. Specific time/place/activity dates on weeknights. Kiss close by the second date. Be mysterious. Be a gentleman, spelled gentle-MAN. Learn the subtle tactic of making all the right moves, yet remaining emotionally flat. Have NO expectations. If a woman sees you, and likes what she sees, she will imagine being in a relationship/sex/marriage soon enough. In other words, women make plans. It is therefore woman’s work to calculate and make future relationship plans. It is woman’s work. So let them do it. In the meantime, let the world be your oyster. All women are potential, and if any of them want you, let them prove themselves to you. It is a numbers game.
- Experience is the best teacher. The only ‘mistake’ is one from which you learn nothing, but you must make those mistakes. There are no shortcuts, you must pay your dues, you must make life mistakes. Fortunately you have this site and whatever ‘method’ you like to help you learn from those mistakes, but again, there are no real shortcuts, you must make mistakes. You must make a fool of yourself at least once, perhaps more, in your life. You must have your heart seriously broken at least once in your life, perhaps more. You must date many women. You must date very many women. You must try to be smooth, you must try to be a ‘player’, you must try to get her to start the process of trying to catch you. If she doesn’t, you must dump her and move on very quickly.
- You must read the DJ Bible. You must continue to read this site. Personally, I also purchased and read Doc Love’s “System-(part 1)” numerous times over a 2-year period. Whatever works for you, but you must combine theoretical, debated and field experience at the same time.
- You cannot “be yourself” unless you’ve thoroughly learned from your mistakes and have internalized all the male “rules” and “yourself” is the new you.
- Most men in today’s world, are chumps. Hollywood movies, literature, art, the media, all will be working against you. If you do it correctly, your friends will call you a woman hater or that you’re too demanding. If you break it off with a woman because she’s a self-centered b*tch, but she looks like Kylie Minogue, they’ll say you’re nuts. If you do it correctly women will initially seem to scorn you. But if you do it correctly, women will have a little voice inside that piques their curiosity and find you irresistible in spite of themselves, and they’ll pursue, but they’ll also test you relentlessly to see if yours is just an act. If you do it right, you’ll find yourself doing things your way and seeming to swim against the popular culture and current. See the second and third paragraph, above.
- Insecure men date beautiful women mainly to impress their friends. Insecure men want trophy women mainly to make themselves look better. Insecure men want to drive hot sports cars to impress their friends or solely to pick up chicks, even though they may not know what kind of engine it has. Insecure men want swoopy motorcycles to impress their friends or pick up chicks. Insecure men want “Paris Hilton” type women mainly so that their friends will be jealous. Real men on the other hand, date women who are good companions, who really turn them because they’re interesting and attractive. Looks are very important, but not the most important. Real men have sports cars because they enjoy tinkering with them on the weekends in addition to being fun with a woman. Real men have swoopy motorcycles because they belong to a motorcycle club, love working on them or race them in addition to occasionally giving a girl a joyride. Real men know that Paris Hilton is very likely to be a spoiled demanding brat. Finding a Paris Hilton lookalike who loves you and is completely loyal to you is like winning the Pennsylvania Power Ball Lottery. It can and does happen, but don’t give up your day job just because you bought one ticket. Note: if you inherited 5 million dollars, and your sole activity is driving around in your new Ferrari, getting sun on your Donzi, checking the time on your Rolex President and jetting to Ibiza only because there’s a beach bar that makes the best Mai-Tais, you WILL get a girl. But the possibility that she really likes you for you will be small. If you really do have money and show it up front, you’re an idiot, and this little opinion letter doesn’t apply to you anyway.
Part 2 below
