Yo 5String,
As much as some would like to "wish it away", YOU know that a serious, long-term committed relationship is NOT for cowards, the cold-hearted, or the overly selfish. PUA tricks, player games, and guru gimmicks are no substitute for being a good man in a storm. None of those things really prepare guys for what it takes to MAINTAIN a relationship as serious as a marriage.
Because when it comes to marriage, you know by experience that there are always potential issues that come with it----like dealing with her family, your family, and a lot of other things that suddenly become YOUR problem just due to the connection you two share.
I actually think that what you're doing is to be commended rather than condemned.
Now, I think it's CRITICAL that people should always defend the lines of respect between themselves and all the other people in their lives----- However, the one thing that I believe is MORE important than commanding respect is for you to CONTINUE to stand in your "station"-----for you to continue to be TRUE to yourself at your core.
In other words:
Doing for others out of a desire to be true to yourself is always better than ACTING so untrue to who you are that you run the risk of no longer LIKING or RESPECTING who you are.
Everything within reason, of course.
I understand by reading your initial post that you were just frustrated and needed to get your "rant on", so I don't think this is really that big a problem for you-----EVERYBODY needs to vent once in awhile. In my opinion, we actually DESERVE to exercise this option.
Lastly, I consider you to be very knowledgeable and far too "self-aware" to ever allow yourself to be manipulated against your will. You ain't NEW to any of this shyt. You're a VETERAN----so just keep doing what you're doing.
You'll KNOW when you're behaving in ways that BETRAY who you are at your core by paying attention to how you feel INSIDE-----either while you're in the act of doing something, or DEFINITELY by the moment right "after" you've done it.
Life is messy.
Exclusive relationships are challenging.
But marriage? Well...marriage is MINISTRY.
And you seem to have a good one----so I encourage you to STAY on mission, bro'.
V.U.