foreverace87
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2013
- Messages
- 77
- Reaction score
- 6
Men,
I will admit it, I’ve SCREWED UP BIG TIME. We all make mistakes but this one is beyond embarrassing, to save face I could only come to this forum for genuine advice because I know you won’t sugarcoat anything. I am ready to take the heat, so go on and throw any opinion you would like at me.
Above all, let this post be a lesson to ALL THE MEN out there. DO NOT DATE, COMMIT to, or even worse, MARRY a single mom. They are only good for one thing. It’s never too late to get out, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! And do not confuse a Single Mom (SM) for a widow.
The Facts
1) I ended the relationship with this woman 4 weeks ago.
2) I have maintained NO CONTACT (absolutely no contact) and going on week 5. I have not heard from her at all, no text, no calls, no emails, nothing.
3) I DO NOT plan to get back with her. This decision is firm and final. The only reason for me to ever see her would be the possibility of being **** buddies.
The Summary
1) I had the bright idea of getting into a relationship with a single mom of two kids. I dated her for a year and a half. I had to relocate because of my job. It was a long distance relationship and we traveled to see each other. The more I tried to break it off, the more she got involved in my life.
2) I am 27 years old, fit, and well educated. She is 31, has two kids, an awesome body, and is a freak in bed. She also has a lot of emotional baggage. Which SM isn’t?
3) The sex was great, the traveling together was great, but here is where things went to hell.
4) She decided to leave her job, go to court against her ex-husband to allow her and her kids to move to where I was. She spent a quite a lot of money ($4000) on this legal process. I on the other hand wasn’t a fan of this. I told her upfront that SHE WILL NOT move in with me and that I will not be a father figure to her kids. She proceeded with the legal process anyway. When she realized I wasn’t proposing and would not let her move in with me, things went downhill.
5) Her **** tests increased, the fights increased, and the sex was no longer as frequent as it used to. She returned to her old slutty habits, going to clubs and dancing and drinking all night (her excuse: the kids are with their father, and she was making up for all the time she lost when she was young and had the kids).
6) At this point I realized she wasn’t relationship material, and it was time to EJECT but sadly I played along. I would often visit the state where she lived because the weather was great year round and the restaurants were awesome. It was a vacation spot. I enjoyed the city, and also enjoyed the sex and her companionship as well. I started talking to other girls at the same time.
7) The second to last time I flew to visit her, she went through my phone while I was taking a shower, and saw all of my text messages to other girls I was talking to. She had paid close attention to my phone unlock pattern and had it memorized. What did she do when I stepped out of the bathroom? She told me to get the hell out of her house. This is the point of the relationship where her disrespectful behavior started. I calmly picked up my stuff and she took me to the airport. On the way to the airport, she changed her mind and decided to look the other way, and brought me back to her house.
8) She had spent all the money to prepare to move to where I was. Since I had rejected her, she was now without a job. In order to help her, I hired her to help start my new company. She actually did a very good job setting everything up. She was professional and did everything the correct way. To reward her for her work ethic, I loaned her $7000 for a new car (HUGE MISTAKE) because her old car was falling apart. The good part is that I had her sign a promissory note so that she wouldn’t ****k me over in the long run.
9) Overtime, I slowly realized she was becoming more and more complacent with the job. She would be gone or missing for hours on end, mainly to take care of her kids and their problems. She was beginning to be rude and disrespectful in the conversations as well, always hanging up etc. I knew these were **** tests and that she was trying to piss me off. I never reacted and just went on with my business.
10) On my final visit to see her, I noticed her strange behavior. She was very moody. She wanted to pick fights for no reason. When it was time to go to bed, she acted like the wicked witch from the wizard of oz. It got so bad that one night, I just went downstairs and slept on the couch. I knew this behavior from women, she didn’t get what she wanted and now she was showing her true colors. Keep in mind, we were still ****ingg regularly, it happened on both last two visits. The next morning, I woke up and told her it was OVER. What did she do? She took a glass picture frame of us and threw it right at me and told me to get the fark out of her house. Men, this was the last straw. This time, I did not hesitate, I grabbed my ****t and rolled out of there and committed to NEVER come back. At the airport I explained to my family what I did. They fired back and said I made a mistake. They told me to rehire her because she was a good worker BUT NOT to get back with her as far as the relationship. I refused but my parent’s decision prevailed.
11) I rehired her (BIG MISTAKE) and she gladly came back. Since the company did a lot of sales work, her presence was essential on Memorial Day Weekend. She had asked me a week before if I needed her to work. I told her I would get back to her in a few days. I talked to her two days later and explained to her that I absolutely needed her because we were short on staff. She disputed my comment and said that her kids came first and that she had signed up to be a volunteer with his son’s teacher on the field trip. I explained to her that the teacher didn’t pay her, I did. And this what SHE emailed me.
“And this is what you said "If the school trip is really important to you and you have to go, I wont hold you back" and I previously said will that be a problem. This is just a way for you to control me. GO **** YOURSELF AND DONT EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN”
11. This is how I responded.
“Watch your mouth temperbutt. I am not your bf and I am not taking your ****. You have taken my kindness for weakness. You have also made your choice not to work and there is no coming back from this. I gave you a chance after my parents asked me to. Otherwise, there is no way in hell I was getting back with someone that treated me the way you did. I will send you your last check. By Friday I also want all the money back I loaned you for your car minus what you have already paid me.”
12. I haven’t heard from her since. She had been making her $ 300 monthly payments on time though.
The Problem
1) I don’t give a **** whether or not she talks to me anymore since I DO NOT WANT her back.
2) I loaned her $7000 of which she has already paid $900. She has to pay $300 by the 15th of every month. She has made all of her payments on time so far.
3) The agreement was that if she helped me with my business (paid work), I would help her with the vehicle loan (no interest)
4) She decided to show me the middle finger and walk away. Quite frankly, if someone is going to treat me this way, I have no reason to help them anymore. I don’t give a fark if we will be together or not, I just want her to reimburse the money.
My Options
1) Stay no contact, let her keep paying the $300 a month on time, and she goes her way and I go mine. Use her as a side *****y in the future.
2) Call her and ask her to reimburse the entire balance. at which point she is free to say NO. If she does say No, I take her to court the day she is late on her payment per the contract, she will be in full default and would have to reimburse all the money. Keep in mind, she has no job and would have to get this money from her parents.
3) Any other option your recommend.
Here are the three most important clauses from the promissory note. Per clause 4, if she is late on her payment, I could take her to court and reclaim all of my money. Per clause 9, if she is more than 90 days late, she is in default. Clause 4 prevails over clause 9.
4) Notwithstanding anything to the contrary in this Note, if the Borrower defaults in the performance of any obligation under this Note, then the Lender may declare the principal amounting owing and interest due under this Note at that time to be immediately due and payable.
5) All costs, expenses and expenditures including, and without limitation, the complete legal costs incurred by the Lender in enforcing this Note as a result of any default by the Borrower, will be added to the principal then outstanding and will immediately be paid by the Borrower.
9) If any installment payment due under this Note is not received by Lender within 10 days of its due date, Borrower will pay a late fee of five percent of the amount of the monthly payment. The late fee will be due immediately. If any installment payment is not received by lender within 90 days of its due date, Lender may demand, in writing, that Borrower repay the entire amount of unpaid principal immediately. After receiving Lender’s demand, Borrower will pay the entire unpaid principal.
I have thought about this long and hard for four weeks. I don’t want her back. I want her to reimburse the loan, the money she spent on a car that she uses to look for other stray ****k. What option do you recommend without further boosting her ego? Any advice on this regard would be appreciated.
And again, DO NOT DATE, COMMIT TO, or MARRY a SM! DO NOT!
I will admit it, I’ve SCREWED UP BIG TIME. We all make mistakes but this one is beyond embarrassing, to save face I could only come to this forum for genuine advice because I know you won’t sugarcoat anything. I am ready to take the heat, so go on and throw any opinion you would like at me.
Above all, let this post be a lesson to ALL THE MEN out there. DO NOT DATE, COMMIT to, or even worse, MARRY a single mom. They are only good for one thing. It’s never too late to get out, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! And do not confuse a Single Mom (SM) for a widow.
The Facts
1) I ended the relationship with this woman 4 weeks ago.
2) I have maintained NO CONTACT (absolutely no contact) and going on week 5. I have not heard from her at all, no text, no calls, no emails, nothing.
3) I DO NOT plan to get back with her. This decision is firm and final. The only reason for me to ever see her would be the possibility of being **** buddies.
The Summary
1) I had the bright idea of getting into a relationship with a single mom of two kids. I dated her for a year and a half. I had to relocate because of my job. It was a long distance relationship and we traveled to see each other. The more I tried to break it off, the more she got involved in my life.
2) I am 27 years old, fit, and well educated. She is 31, has two kids, an awesome body, and is a freak in bed. She also has a lot of emotional baggage. Which SM isn’t?
3) The sex was great, the traveling together was great, but here is where things went to hell.
4) She decided to leave her job, go to court against her ex-husband to allow her and her kids to move to where I was. She spent a quite a lot of money ($4000) on this legal process. I on the other hand wasn’t a fan of this. I told her upfront that SHE WILL NOT move in with me and that I will not be a father figure to her kids. She proceeded with the legal process anyway. When she realized I wasn’t proposing and would not let her move in with me, things went downhill.
5) Her **** tests increased, the fights increased, and the sex was no longer as frequent as it used to. She returned to her old slutty habits, going to clubs and dancing and drinking all night (her excuse: the kids are with their father, and she was making up for all the time she lost when she was young and had the kids).
6) At this point I realized she wasn’t relationship material, and it was time to EJECT but sadly I played along. I would often visit the state where she lived because the weather was great year round and the restaurants were awesome. It was a vacation spot. I enjoyed the city, and also enjoyed the sex and her companionship as well. I started talking to other girls at the same time.
7) The second to last time I flew to visit her, she went through my phone while I was taking a shower, and saw all of my text messages to other girls I was talking to. She had paid close attention to my phone unlock pattern and had it memorized. What did she do when I stepped out of the bathroom? She told me to get the hell out of her house. This is the point of the relationship where her disrespectful behavior started. I calmly picked up my stuff and she took me to the airport. On the way to the airport, she changed her mind and decided to look the other way, and brought me back to her house.
8) She had spent all the money to prepare to move to where I was. Since I had rejected her, she was now without a job. In order to help her, I hired her to help start my new company. She actually did a very good job setting everything up. She was professional and did everything the correct way. To reward her for her work ethic, I loaned her $7000 for a new car (HUGE MISTAKE) because her old car was falling apart. The good part is that I had her sign a promissory note so that she wouldn’t ****k me over in the long run.
9) Overtime, I slowly realized she was becoming more and more complacent with the job. She would be gone or missing for hours on end, mainly to take care of her kids and their problems. She was beginning to be rude and disrespectful in the conversations as well, always hanging up etc. I knew these were **** tests and that she was trying to piss me off. I never reacted and just went on with my business.
10) On my final visit to see her, I noticed her strange behavior. She was very moody. She wanted to pick fights for no reason. When it was time to go to bed, she acted like the wicked witch from the wizard of oz. It got so bad that one night, I just went downstairs and slept on the couch. I knew this behavior from women, she didn’t get what she wanted and now she was showing her true colors. Keep in mind, we were still ****ingg regularly, it happened on both last two visits. The next morning, I woke up and told her it was OVER. What did she do? She took a glass picture frame of us and threw it right at me and told me to get the fark out of her house. Men, this was the last straw. This time, I did not hesitate, I grabbed my ****t and rolled out of there and committed to NEVER come back. At the airport I explained to my family what I did. They fired back and said I made a mistake. They told me to rehire her because she was a good worker BUT NOT to get back with her as far as the relationship. I refused but my parent’s decision prevailed.
11) I rehired her (BIG MISTAKE) and she gladly came back. Since the company did a lot of sales work, her presence was essential on Memorial Day Weekend. She had asked me a week before if I needed her to work. I told her I would get back to her in a few days. I talked to her two days later and explained to her that I absolutely needed her because we were short on staff. She disputed my comment and said that her kids came first and that she had signed up to be a volunteer with his son’s teacher on the field trip. I explained to her that the teacher didn’t pay her, I did. And this what SHE emailed me.
“And this is what you said "If the school trip is really important to you and you have to go, I wont hold you back" and I previously said will that be a problem. This is just a way for you to control me. GO **** YOURSELF AND DONT EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN”
11. This is how I responded.
“Watch your mouth temperbutt. I am not your bf and I am not taking your ****. You have taken my kindness for weakness. You have also made your choice not to work and there is no coming back from this. I gave you a chance after my parents asked me to. Otherwise, there is no way in hell I was getting back with someone that treated me the way you did. I will send you your last check. By Friday I also want all the money back I loaned you for your car minus what you have already paid me.”
12. I haven’t heard from her since. She had been making her $ 300 monthly payments on time though.
The Problem
1) I don’t give a **** whether or not she talks to me anymore since I DO NOT WANT her back.
2) I loaned her $7000 of which she has already paid $900. She has to pay $300 by the 15th of every month. She has made all of her payments on time so far.
3) The agreement was that if she helped me with my business (paid work), I would help her with the vehicle loan (no interest)
4) She decided to show me the middle finger and walk away. Quite frankly, if someone is going to treat me this way, I have no reason to help them anymore. I don’t give a fark if we will be together or not, I just want her to reimburse the money.
My Options
1) Stay no contact, let her keep paying the $300 a month on time, and she goes her way and I go mine. Use her as a side *****y in the future.
2) Call her and ask her to reimburse the entire balance. at which point she is free to say NO. If she does say No, I take her to court the day she is late on her payment per the contract, she will be in full default and would have to reimburse all the money. Keep in mind, she has no job and would have to get this money from her parents.
3) Any other option your recommend.
Here are the three most important clauses from the promissory note. Per clause 4, if she is late on her payment, I could take her to court and reclaim all of my money. Per clause 9, if she is more than 90 days late, she is in default. Clause 4 prevails over clause 9.
4) Notwithstanding anything to the contrary in this Note, if the Borrower defaults in the performance of any obligation under this Note, then the Lender may declare the principal amounting owing and interest due under this Note at that time to be immediately due and payable.
5) All costs, expenses and expenditures including, and without limitation, the complete legal costs incurred by the Lender in enforcing this Note as a result of any default by the Borrower, will be added to the principal then outstanding and will immediately be paid by the Borrower.
9) If any installment payment due under this Note is not received by Lender within 10 days of its due date, Borrower will pay a late fee of five percent of the amount of the monthly payment. The late fee will be due immediately. If any installment payment is not received by lender within 90 days of its due date, Lender may demand, in writing, that Borrower repay the entire amount of unpaid principal immediately. After receiving Lender’s demand, Borrower will pay the entire unpaid principal.
I have thought about this long and hard for four weeks. I don’t want her back. I want her to reimburse the loan, the money she spent on a car that she uses to look for other stray ****k. What option do you recommend without further boosting her ego? Any advice on this regard would be appreciated.
And again, DO NOT DATE, COMMIT TO, or MARRY a SM! DO NOT!
