6 Day Wait Justification

[PoachR75]

As everyone must know by now, I am a fanatic when it comes to advocating a minimum 5 day wait to call after first acquiring the number. This policy has been debated back and forth for some time now. I am now going to explain it so damn well that there can be no argument from now on.

1. You wait at least 5 days to call in order to prolong the suspense and subtly suggest that you are fairly busy person.

2. The basic DJ logic behind this comes from the very well-documented DJ principle that you must always be strong enough to risk "losing" the girl or strong enough to walk away at any time. If you aren't, the females will absolutely SMELL it!

3. Waiting this long to call is a very advisable first step in this vein. No matter what anyone thinks or says, by waiting you immediately signal your WILLINGNESS TO RISK LOSING THE GIRL'S INTEREST (and no matter how you feel about it, you will never be a true DJ until you honestly DO NOT FEAR losing the interest of one particular girl). Women find the willingness to risk this very attractive.

It has been my experience that women will not mention the wait to you. They may mention it to their friends, in which case, look at it this way: you are DJing girls that you haven't even MET YET! (good job).

The bottom line is that the DJ principles (specifically the willingness to walk away and not being afrain of losing something) should be implemented from the very beginning. One should always be polite and sincere, and play off any inquiry: "I've been really busy with work and I have an important hobby thing coming up. So, what did YOU do today?".

If a girl has an interest, it will remain for 4 days. Would YOU lose interest in a hottie just because she didn't call for awhile? That is, if she DIDN'T SPECIFICALLY SAY THAT SHE WOULD AT A CERTAIN TIME?

Juxtapose the situation. Of course you wouldn't lose interest. A hottie is a hottie. To her, a DJ is a DJ (i.e. desirable) and she will be glad to hear from your when you call.

-In the EXTREMELY REMOTE instance that a female would say "Hey. I haven't heard from you in 5 days. I do not want to date you now. Goodbye", then you get to practice your very necessary DJ skill of accepting the loss and not letting it bother you in the least. You'll see her out again anyway, and she'll describe you as "too busy to date her" to her girlfriends (i.e. desirable). Where is the down side here? Simple, there isn't one.

Won't matter anyhow. The fact is that, in the vast majority of cases, the wait method will work without a hitch. This is because INTEREST LEVEL dictates female behavior far more than minor timing issues.

Case Closed.

5 day wait to call.
Be sincere but not apologetic with any excuse.
First five dates on WEEKDAYS.
Action dates only.

(This is the way I did it, and is there anyone out there going to tell me I didn't hit it last night?)




------------------
"We've got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she's ordered the lobster. There's no point in waiting for the cavalry, because, as of this moment, the cavalry is US."
-- The Shoveler, "Mystery Men"

[This message has been edited by PoachR75 (edited 03-08-2002).]

[This message has been edited by PoachR75 (edited 03-08-2002).]

 

[crowes22]

Great post Poach. You are dead on, waiting is important. Like you said it all ties in to us not being afraid to lose her, that is crucial. If they think you will walk at any time, you think they would not want that.

But as many things are w/ females, it's the opposite. You must convey to her that you are fine w/out her, not saying it, but showing it. Doing what you said makes you the prize.

Good points.

 

[Galactus]

I don't see any real flaws in your reasoning, but as you know, I recently met a chick, got her number, and waited six days to call her. Left a message, and she never responded. She's history. That's fine, I have no problem with it. But I wish I knew the reason, because then I would know if I had to adjust my wait time.

Rejection is not a big deal to me anymore, but if I always wait too long, then I'm always going to get rejected. I could also show my willingness to lose her interest by waiting three months. But since I would lose every girl's interest that way, I don't think that's advisable.

Okay, I know this is only one girl I'm talking about here, but if I continue to wait six days and bomb every time, I think you would agree that something needs to be tweaked a little bit.

I met another girl a few days later, and she told me to email her. I did, I think five or six days later. No response. Next day I called. About three days later (yesterday), she left a message on my machine, saying she would love to go out with me. Now, I just have to email her back (this is her preferred method of communication, not mine) and let her know when I have time.

So I guess I had better results with the second girl, and I waited about the same length of time. But I'm going to have to get some more numbers and test it out to know for sure if your wait period is the best for me. I can't know exactly where the cutoff point between too soon and too late is, just by trying it out on two chicks.

I'll let you know my results. Thanks, Poach.

------------------
"For anybody who's on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage... it's possible."
- Russell Crowe

 

[KCFlyer]

Could you explain the difference between an "Action Date" and a normal date?

 

[xniceguy]

galactacus:

"But I wish I knew the reason, because then I would know if I had to adjust my wait time. "

That's the point. THERE IS NO REASON. There is no reason to what chicks do; it's all FEELINGS.

That is why we treat all women the same. That is why we use one system for all women. That is why we don't bother trying to figure out why.

THERE IS NO REASON behind a chick's behavior. It's random. So since they're totally random, we must be totally consistent.

------------------
Chicks don't think. Chicks feel.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by xniceguy:
galactacus:

"But I wish I knew the reason, because then I would know if I had to adjust my wait time. "

That's the point. THERE IS NO REASON. There is no reason to what chicks do; it's all FEELINGS.

That is why we treat all women the same. That is why we use one system for all women. That is why we don't bother trying to figure out why.

THERE IS NO REASON behind a chick's behavior. It's random. So since they're totally random, we must be totally consistent.

It's not random at all...it's reactionary. Women react to men. If the man controls how he ACTS he can pretty consistently get the reaction he's looking for. But in order to do this he must really understand the way a woman thinks. If she really likes you, waiting beyond 3 days will almost always work against you. Yeah, it will make her think about you, but she won't be thinking very nice things and she will be more likely to get into a power struggle and play control games.

 

[dorian_gray-from.usa]

Originally posted by Wyldfire:
It's not random at all...it's reactionary. Women react If she really likes you, waiting beyond 3 days will almost always work against you......will be more likely to get into a power struggle and play control games.

Yahn..... Amazing yet once again a XX chromo
person is feeding us a laxitive and say it is a bit of Fine Swiss candy.

Noncense - If a woman likes you, you could wait a month, and ask for her number again
after losing the ph#. AND SHE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU ~ and be glad for your interest.

OR maybe call you.

The only thing one has to watch out for is power-player women who come on strong ~ this is unusual. They are not 'actualized' but want to 'control' the total relationship and you if any might transpire.

 

[dorian_gray-from.usa]

Originally posted by PoachR75:
This policy...


1. You wait at least 5 days to call in order to prolong the suspense and subtly suggest that you are fairly busy person.

2. The basic DJ logic behind this comes from the very well-documented DJ principle that you must always be strong enough to risk "losing" the girl or strong enough to walk away at any time. If you aren't, the females will absolutely SMELL it!

..willingness to risk this very attractive.

The bottom line is that the DJ principles (specifically the willingness to walk away.

-In the EXTREMELY REMOTE instance that a female would say "Hey. I haven't heard from you in 5 days. I do not want to date you now. Goodbye",


ON THE RIGHT TRACK

Where is the down side here? Simple, there isn't one.

GREAT!

This is because INTEREST LEVEL dictates female behavior far more than minor timing issues.

Case Closed.

5 day wait to call.
Be sincere but not apologetic with any excuse.
First five dates on WEEKDAYS.
Action dates only.

SHE-PLAYERS WILL LOSE INTEREST if you don't move on their hints, but other women have their own lives and are interested in meeting solid focused men.

The great thing about taking care of your life is not being used by women or people in general.

The AFC is mis-alined and takes a emotional beating because he acts like a true friend to women.

But many women are simply too immature to care back to the AFC.

The affuance of the 1st World makes life so easy for women, they never have to grow and develop their own persons.

In fact the only time a woman gets to really work is when she has to rise small children
she works 7 days a week, 14 hour days.

But after they get old enough, she just has to cook ok, not fukk around on her spouse, and put out sometimes.

What does she get?

Provided for, taken care of, if not from your husband ~ her parents will take up the
slack.

Clothes, CAR, nice furiture, on and on.

______________________________________

We take for granted our lifestyle
that we, as men, don't realize when a women is treating us "Like her Father" or AFC!

Being decent men in the world we listen.

CASE LESSON:

In fact I have been conversing with several
women on the ph#. This is a mobile radio-telephone has 1000 minutes to use, after that
is billed thirty cents (USD) a minute, like long distance.

The women I have spoken to

1)are single
2)not players
3)are looking for someone - not me ~!~ but say they will set me up with their friends.

AND what has happened?

Have they acted like a true friend back
after listen to them drone on????

NO!

Because that takes effort and acting like
mature adult.

I could live the next five years - single!
That is unacceptable.

Make your own waves.

Limit phone calls to five minutes top, if she
really needs you she will be meet you in person at some coffee shop. Let her be the social proof. HA!
#####################

Fact #1

Women like to talk about life

FACT #2

A rare women will live life and
still be positive. Be a mentor to you, or
stratigic thinker/planner

FACT #3

Women are very good at putting things in mental boxes, classifying everything. But on the surface only.

Because of this they will take from men, who act in kindness, again like DAD, or an AFC.

Fact #4

Because women are implusive when they want something they go for it. Take shopping buying shoes in ten or eighteen different colours. Maybe three would do, black, brown, tan.

So spending money on a mobile talking is a waste of your time. As is taking her out to dinner.

If she wants you she will accept you offers to go to a public (free) park, get some fast food and go back to her place to make out.

Watch your 6.

Women can be TIME WASTING PLEASURE JUNKIES.

PLEASURE FOR THEMSELVES ~ that is......

Eject and take no shyt.

[This message has been edited by dorian_gray-from.usa (edited 03-08-2002).]

 

[Galactus]

Originally posted by xniceguy:
galactacus:

"But I wish I knew the reason, because then I would know if I had to adjust my wait time. "

That's the point. THERE IS NO REASON. There is no reason to what chicks do; it's all FEELINGS.

That is why we treat all women the same. That is why we use one system for all women. That is why we don't bother trying to figure out why.

THERE IS NO REASON behind a chick's behavior. It's random. So since they're totally random, we must be totally consistent.

You are so wrong.

That is a totally AFC response. Saying a woman can't be understood, so all a man can do is be consistent, hoping that by chance, a woman will react positively. Consistency is great, as long as you're doing the right thing. If I consistently jumped up and down on a trampoline, do you think I'd eventually reach the moon?

You're basically saying that men are being spun around blindfolded, and if we consistently turn one step to the left and keep throwing the dart forward, eventually we'll hit the target. Damn, I'm pretty sure we can do better odds than that.

There are reasons for a woman's behavior. You're right, they do feel. When you feel angry, or sad, or happy, is there no reason? Do you just feel this way with no cause? That's what insane people do. True, women do seem insane at times, but when I get an emotional reaction from a woman, I can often trace the reason back to something I did or said. Therefore, change the way you act, and you can change the way they react.

Maybe you should study some NLP. "The meaning of your communication is the response it gets."

It's all just a matter of being able to predict what a woman is going to say or do in response to you.

There was a reason she didn't call me back. If I knew what it was, I could adjust to make it work out better the next time.

Or I could do it your way, and forget about self-improvement.

------------------
"For anybody who's on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage... it's possible."
- Russell Crowe

 

[ArizonaDJ]

As a rule I always wait exactly one week, unless one week falls on a Fri or Sat, in which case I call her on Sunday (making it up to 9 days in some cases). I've been very successful waiting a week to call and not only do women not ask what took so long, they act all excited and flattered when I finally do call.

I really believe that if a woman doesn't return your call after you wait six days or a week or whatever, then she wouldn't have returned your call NO MATTTER WHEN you called her back. Either the interest is there or it isn't. Period. Better to get rid of them early on then to waste time going out with a stroker.

Funny story: One day my last girlfriend and I were talking about all of her friends' "rules" about when a guy should call. She said she'd never date a guy who waited more than two days to call her after getting her number. Apparently when she said that, she forgot that I waited an entire TWO WEEKS to call her!! (No guys, I didn't wait that long on purpose... I honestly forgot). That just goes to show that what women say they want, and what they really go for, are almost always completely opposite.

 

[Sun-Tan Superman]

Let me tell you all something, there are really two basic ways I get most of my phone #'s/emails

one is I meet a girl we small talk, I have a little time so this goes on for a while *like at skool at lunch in the cafeteria* and we have a nice lil convo for about 15-20 min and get to know each other, at the end of all this I get the #.

the other case is I do a walk up say something to a girl like for example one I used recently was at skool "Hey arnt you *so and so's* friend, you know I see you all the time in the halls but there is just one problem"
she goes "what"
"I don't know your name what is it"
her "name"
"well I would really like to chit chat now but I gotta be getting back to my friends"
turn around and start to walk then turn back and say "by the way do you have a email/#"


the secound one takes about 5 min to do....the thing is i ususaly wait 3-4-5 days to call after the first one since I reallly talked with the girl and i am sure she will remember me regardless and then what you say about making her think you are busy and what not can really take effect.
But with the secound one if i wait that long there is a good chance she may forget so i only wait 48 hours or so to call back....
the same is done if i meet a girl at a dance or a club or a party because she would interact with alot of guys there and i dont spend too much time with one girl so if i wait too long she will forget who i am...so i call back within 48 hours than too

if u think about it what i say is true...and in reality both ways of waitin a lil or alot come into use but each has its situations in when to be used

 

[ArizonaDJ]

I apply the one-week rule in all cases. If I meet a girl in a bar/club and she's given her number to a few other guys too, they all call her within 2 days. All this time she's thinking, "how come that one guy hasn't called me?" While all the other guys are now AFC by calling too soon, her interest level in me has gone up because I was the only one who had an important enough life not to call her right away.

It's only in the past year that I've stuck to the one-week rule and it's paid off for me big-time.

 

[Dr. Pimp]

Originally posted by ArizonaDJ:

they all call her within 2 days.

Are you absolutely sure of that?

Dr.

 

[ArizonaDJ]

99% sure... chicks tell me that most guys call the very next day.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Well, allow me to tell you my story based on my personal experience using this 5 days waiting technique.

We wait 5 days to call, but the important thing is whether she still remembers you or not. You never know during the 5 days period, other guys that are pursuing her too will probably ask her out and she might probably not think about you anymore cause she has many other guys to date as well.

If she's the type that is quite homely and rarely gets dates, then it would be a different story. And don't get me wrong cause when I say she might not remember about you ( This doesn't mean low interest level which makes her forget you), it is because she's already into other guys and after she liked other guys, her interest level drops on you so you're out!

This is what my experience has tell me so far but I do not know how you guys find it using this 5 days rule technique. But this is what I get for waiting for 5 days. It makes a girl forget about you.

Challenge me if you think what I said is wrong but if that hasn't been your experience, well tell me how has it benefit you by using the 5 days-rule technique.?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by IntermediateDonJuaner:
Well, allow me to tell you my story based on my personal experience using this 5 days waiting technique.

We wait 5 days to call, but the important thing is whether she still remembers you or not. You never know during the 5 days period, other guys that are pursuing her too will probably ask her out and she might probably not think about you anymore cause she has many other guys to date as well.

If she's the type that is quite homely and rarely gets dates, then it would be a different story. And don't get me wrong cause when I say she might not remember about you ( This doesn't mean low interest level which makes her forget you), it is because she's already into other guys and after she liked other guys, her interest level drops on you so you're out!

This is what my experience has tell me so far but I do not know how you guys find it using this 5 days rule technique. But this is what I get for waiting for 5 days. It makes a girl forget about you.

Challenge me if you think what I said is wrong but if that hasn't been your experience, well tell me how has it benefit you by using the 5 days-rule technique.?

This is SO true! If you are asking for the numbers of very attractive women, you are NOT the only one asking. If she shows high innnterest in you, call sooner. If you don't, all it takes for her to LOSE interest in you is for another guy she is interested in to come along. You don't look desperate calling on the third day. You don't risk her being turned off from feeling disrespected if you call on the third day. You aren't supplicating if you call on the third day. It makes NO sense to wait those 2 extra days UNLESS you are so nervous that you need the extra time to calm down. It's overkill and there are too many things that can work against you. If you don't have many problems getting dates, that's fine if you prefer to wait the extra 2 days. The fact is, some guys don't have the same level of luck as others, and abiding by this rule might keep them from haing more dates and more success.

 

[ArizonaDJ]

Like I said, I've never had a problem. Even if a woman does meet another guy, she has serious mental problems if she's so into him after two days that she won't take my call and go out with me. I suppose if you're just looking for a lay then it's ok to call sooner. However, I'm past that and more interested in finding women who are dating material and waiting a week to call is one of the easiest ways to weed them out.

If a woman doesn't call me back and want to go out with me after I wait a week to call (which I'm telling you almost never happens), I figure one of the following is true:

1. She had low interest to begin with and wouldn't have returned my call no matter when I called her;
2. She's looking for a puppy-dog AFC boy to kiss her azz and worship her... therefore a guy who waited a week has too much balls for her and won't be easily controlled;
3. She met another guy and is so into him after a few days that she doesn't want to go out with me, which means she's a psycho insecure nutcase who's desperate for a bf.

By the way, I've had cases where a chick DID meet another guy before I called. However, by the time we got to going out the other guy had already blown it with her by being AFC and I was viewed as all the more powerful for having the patience and dignity to take things very slowly with her.

Another interesting observation: I've met a few hotties on internet personals. When I first started I'd always reply to the emails as they came in and chicks would mysteriously stop writing back. Now I purposely wait at least 4 or 5 days to reply, and next thing I know they're emailing me their phone #'s saying they want to meet right away. Interesting!

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by ArizonaDJ:
Like I said, I've never had a problem. Even if a woman does meet another guy, she has serious mental problems if she's so into him after two days that she won't take my call and go out with me. I suppose if you're just looking for a lay then it's ok to call sooner. However, I'm past that and more interested in finding women who are dating material and waiting a week to call is one of the easiest ways to weed them out.

If a woman doesn't call me back and want to go out with me after I wait a week to call (which I'm telling you almost never happens), I figure one of the following is true:

1. She had low interest to begin with and wouldn't have returned my call no matter when I called her;
2. She's looking for a puppy-dog AFC boy to kiss her azz and worship her... therefore a guy who waited a week has too much balls for her and won't be easily controlled;
3. She met another guy and is so into him after a few days that she doesn't want to go out with me, which means she's a psycho insecure nutcase who's desperate for a bf.

By the way, I've had cases where a chick DID meet another guy before I called. However, by the time we got to going out the other guy had already blown it with her by being AFC and I was viewed as all the more powerful for having the patience and dignity to take things very slowly with her.

Another interesting observation: I've met a few hotties on internet personals. When I first started I'd always reply to the emails as they came in and chicks would mysteriously stop writing back. Now I purposely wait at least 4 or 5 days to reply, and next thing I know they're emailing me their phone #'s saying they want to meet right away. Interesting!

I'm not big into the whole games thing, and my biggest pet peeve is bad phone etiquette. I don't like my time wasted. If someone tells me they are going to call me, I try very hard not to miss their call, that is polite. If someone isn't considerate enough to take the time to call in a timely fashion I view them as rude, unreliable, lacking follow-through and lacking in time management skills. I value courtesy, reliablity, follow through and the ability to handle multitasking. If a man plays silly phone games he looks like a loser in my book. That might not be the case with all women, or even a lot of women...but it is with me. I don't want to date a man who doesn't have his act together. Maturity goes a very long way with me.

 

[ArizonaDJ]

This reminds me of several women I've dated who were intimidated and said they wanted a "regular, average guy" and went back to dating some loser. Sometimes I'm extremely busy and in meetings 12 hours a day and don't have time to call a woman even if I wanted to. When I have free time I like to spend it alone, unwinding. If she has a problem with it, it's just another example of women refusing a good successful guy and choosing an AFC loser instead.

Like Doc Love replied to some woman who wrote in complaining about his wait a week to call strategy:
"Do you want a strong man with whom you can have a relationship, or do you want to be worshipped and bowed down to?"

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by ArizonaDJ:
This reminds me of several women I've dated who were intimidated and said they wanted a "regular, average guy" and went back to dating some loser. Sometimes I'm extremely busy and in meetings 12 hours a day and don't have time to call a woman even if I wanted to. When I have free time I like to spend it alone, unwinding. If she has a problem with it, it's just another example of women refusing a good successful guy and choosing an AFC loser instead.

Like Doc Love replied to some woman who wrote in complaining about his wait a week to call strategy:
"Do you want a strong man with whom you can have a relationship, or do you want to be worshipped and bowed down to?"

I'm hardly intimidated. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that even the most busy people can find 10 minutes within a 3 day period to place a phone call. No one is so busy they can't do that...no one. I don't want someone who kissed my @ss, but nor do I want someone who disrespects me and has bad manners. Being polite and respectful isn't kissing a person's @ss...it's being a gentleman, which I value and expect in anyone I am going to date. Why should I settle for someone who behaves in a way that I find unacceptable? There's not much that really bothers me...but this is one of those few things. If he honestly can't call within 3 days but tells me he won't be able to call for a week or so, that's fine. But if he doesn't show that kind of courtesy then he's not someone I want anything to do with.