52...have baby with partner?

[nzrod]

All kidding aside, you care for her, it evident, and that is fine. However, if you have no interest in bringing in a child in this world, walk away. It's painful, I am sure, but no reason in going through even more pain when she some how gets you to try and she's still unsuccessful. It's very unlikely that she has any viable eggs left at 45/46 without any frozen eggs. It's a lost cause for her, as that ship has sailed. Be careful she doesn't try to rope you into adopting one.

Thanks. I made it clear I definitely wouldn't adopt, but if we do try and are unsuccessful then the pressure may mount.

I also made it clear that as we are both fertile (tested two weeks ago) then IVF won't have any better odds than trying naturally (<1%) - but she still says she would try IVF if natural doesn't work (she would be 47 after a year of trying). That seems like a waste of $15,000 if you ask me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks. I made it clear I definitely wouldn't adopt, but if we do try and are unsuccessful then the pressure may mount.

I also made it clear that as we are both fertile (tested two weeks ago) then IVF won't have any better odds than trying naturally (<1%) - but she still says she would try IVF if natural doesn't work (she would be 47 after a year of trying). That seems like a waste of $15,000 if you ask me.

This woman is delusional. Sad to say, but it's the truth. At least you found out now tho.

Your options basically are:

-waste a bunch of money trying to have a kid with this woman

-progressively start having more and more "issues" pop up over the next year that seemingly have nothing to do with the baby issue but actually do

-walk away

Save you having a baby with her I see this lasting a year at most with things getting progressively worse until you dump her because you don't want to deal with her sh!t anymore or she dumps you because she lost all reespect for you because she was trying to get you to dump her and you wouldn't.

You do whatever you want but I just want this to be recorded here so if you stay with her you can update us this time next year on what happened.

 

[RickTheToad]

Thanks. I made it clear I definitely wouldn't adopt, but if we do try and are unsuccessful then the pressure may mount.

I also made it clear that as we are both fertile (tested two weeks ago) then IVF won't have any better odds than trying naturally (<1%) - but she still says she would try IVF if natural doesn't work (she would be 47 after a year of trying). That seems like a waste of $15,000 if you ask me.

I'd start the decoupling process in your head if she's going down this route. You are in a catch-22 situation; you cannot win in any way. It will be your fault if she can't get pregnant, even though it isn't (been there before). It will then be your fault if you refuse to adopt.

 

[nzrod]

---Save you having a baby with her I see this lasting a year at most with things getting progressively worse until you dump her because you don't want to deal with her sh!t anymore or she dumps you because she lost all reespect for you because she was trying to get you to dump her and you wouldn't.

Fair call

 

[nzrod]

I'd start the decoupling process in your head if she's going down this route. You are in a catch-22 situation; you cannot win in any way. It will be your fault if she can't get pregnant, even though it isn't (been there before). It will then be your fault if you refuse to adopt.

Life's hard. Love is hard. Harsh but maybe true Rick.

 

[nzrod]

I see almost 0% chance this will end well.

If you say no, she'll probably dump you for someone who will try, or she'll resent you forever. Baby Rabies overrides all logic.

If you say yes, be ready to spend tens of thousands of dollars on in-vitro; money that will likely be flushed down the drain on miscarriages and even more mental damage to her.

@Kotaix this was wise. I said no after 6 more weeks deliberation, and she of course has ended the relationship. She is flying back to Singapore in 3 weeks. She just told me today no more lovemaking - which hit me hard. I would make love up to the last day as I love her and am attracted to her - so I found this cold.

It feels a bit utilitarian: Wont have baby? OK, relationship over and no more sex.

 

[nzrod]

She has now moved out. I am heartbroken. 1 month ago she got custom-made gifts for me saying "Best Boyfriend Ever" and a sign saying "I love you to the moon and back" then moved out as I confirmed I didn't want a child (I'm 52)

 

[Billtx49]

She has now moved out. I am heartbroken. 1 month ago she got custom-made gifts for me saying "Best Boyfriend Ever" and a sign saying "I love you to the moon and back" then moved out as I confirmed I didn't want a child (I'm 52)

Yes, typical mixed signals there. Those statements designed to make you not be emotionally hurt, while a complete sex cutoff does the opposite …
Sex starvation is the ultimate last ditch effort female negotiating leverage…

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Chalk it up to experience my man. Baby rabies is real, just be glad she didn’t drop her birth control as has been done many times.

She wants a sperm donor and an ATM, it’s why I got a vas after my marriage ended, I don’t discuss it and rawdawg like a ninja.

She has now moved out. I am heartbroken. 1 month ago she got custom-made gifts for me saying "Best Boyfriend Ever" and a sign saying "I love you to the moon and back" then moved out as I confirmed I didn't want a child (I'm 52)

 

[EyeBRollin]

She has now moved out. I am heartbroken. 1 month ago she got custom-made gifts for me saying "Best Boyfriend Ever" and a sign saying "I love you to the moon and back" then moved out as I confirmed I didn't want a child (I'm 52)

Sorry to hear this.

What kind of drugs is this broad on? She is not having a biological child with anyone at her age.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I know this is hard @nzrod , we all been there. Time to focus on yourself and eventually you will find a better girl.

 

[nzrod]

Sorry to hear this.

What kind of drugs is this broad on? She is not having a biological child with anyone at her age.

I kept politely and sympathetically reminding her that the chance is <1% statistically and that is AFTER she finds another man she wants to marry (I told her I wanted to marry her and she did too). She wont have a child out of a marriage. The poor girl just won't give up on her dream so left me. She's undervaluing me and overvaluing being a parent, in my view.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She's undervaluing me and overvaluing being a parent, in my view.

She can be a parent. But not to a biological child…

Women are so fvcking delusional. The broad has no viable eggs left.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She has now moved out. I am heartbroken. 1 month ago she got custom-made gifts for me saying "Best Boyfriend Ever" and a sign saying "I love you to the moon and back" then moved out as I confirmed I didn't want a child (I'm 52)

Shows how quickly a woman can go from I want to be with you forever to dumping you when you no longer match their ideal partner for the moment.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

The poor girl just won't give up on her dream so left me. She's undervaluing me and overvaluing being a parent, in my view.

OP I'm sorry things went this way for you, but sadly you are absolutely correct here. It's not just "your view", but the reality.
I had a child when I was 42 and even then I wished I had done that earlier, when I was stronger, and had more of life in front of me.

Best wishes getting past this and finding someone on the same page of life as you.