52...have baby with partner?

[nzrod]

Clear advice all...will be risky and if baby actually born and healthy then likely draining. I already have one 10 year old who lives overseas so I have that joy (real joy, I love her, and also the awareness of the difficulties of a relationship ending when a child involved if not from same town).

As a related note: Most women want kids though...or has them and is a single mom (which I dont have a major problem with though Rollo doesn't recommend it as I recall). Finding a sane woman who.doesnt want kids isnt easy.

 

[SW15]

I'm in my late 30's now, and I still want to have kids.

I'm in my late 30s now and I don't want to have kids now. I'm not interested in raising kids in my 50s.

Whoever is thinking about knocking up a woman that’s 35+

Most of my sex partners have been closer to my own age, so I have had sex with 35+ women. Definitely not a good idea to get a 35+ woman pregnant. If I wanted kids now, I would want to have kids with a 21-27 year old, not some mid-30s woman.

There are so many pregnancies right now in my mid-30s social circle. The whole circle seems obsessed with babies right now. This is why I'm finding new friends.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don't be stupid OP.

Additionally research has found the risk of autism increases GREATLY for women having children past 35. So there is a higher than normal chance there will be developmental disabilities

 

[SW15]

Let's say a 52 year old man has a 37 year old girlfriend/wife. You need solid game to have an extended relationship with any woman 10+ years younger. At 37 or 42, she's still too old of a woman for starting a family.

I think it is best for women to be done having children by their 35th birthdays. For men, finishing having children by 35 is sensible too but I might push it up to 40 because men often have younger girlfriends/wives. For men, it's a greater consideration if having children later in life will impact their retirement plans.

In my social circle of people I've met since moving to my current city, there has been a flurry of pregnancies since mid-2021. I count 5 pregnancies since then. All of these pregnancies have one thing in common. These are all 32-34 year old women who are having their "Last Call" type babies. This might be the only pregnancy for some of these women, though some women will squeeze out a 2nd pregnancy after 35.

 

[Kotaix]

I see almost 0% chance this will end well.

If you say no, she'll probably dump you for someone who will try, or she'll resent you forever. Baby Rabies overrides all logic.

If you say yes, be ready to spend tens of thousands of dollars on in-vitro; money that will likely be flushed down the drain on miscarriages and even more mental damage to her.

 

[Barrister]

I think under the right conditions you could have a baby with a woman when you (the man) are 52 years old. However, having a baby with a woman who is over 35 years old is not advisable due to the potential genetic pitfalls already mentioned by others.

 

[SW15]

If you say yes, be ready to spend tens of thousands of dollars on in-vitro; money that will likely be flushed down the drain on miscarriages and even more mental damage to her.

2 of the current pregnancies in my social circle occurred as a result of fertility treatments, including in-vitro. Fertility treatments are a waste of money in my opinion and end up compounding problems. Even if fertility treatments do result in a baby or babies, that may not keep a relationship together. In fact, even after fertility treatments and babies, there's still a decent chance of a divorce down tI he road. Considering that, I would think it would be better to save the fertility treatment money for a time when it is needed on attorney's fees in a divorce.

These 2 pregnancies in my social circle that involved fertility treatments were on women under 35. These 2 women spent their early to mid 30s engaging in fertility treatments and one of them had miscarriages.

Both women, despite getting pregnant, did sustain mental damage in the fertility journey.

If you say no, she'll probably dump you for someone who will try, or she'll resent you forever. Baby Rabies overrides all logic.

In both the cases I'm discussing, I believe that adoption would have been a better path overall. However, it wouldn't have been the ideal solution. Both of these men are blue pill guys who did the whole marriage/home buying/pet thing too. If these men had been more red or black pill, they would have not put a ring on it.

In both cases, had these two males not married or not agreed to in-vitro or even an adoption, the relationship would have ended. The woman would have either broken up with them (pre-marriage) or filed for divorce (post-marriage). In consideration the cost of a divorce, the cost of a divorce likely would have been less than fertility treatments + costs of child rearing for the next 18+ years.

I think under the right conditions you could have a baby with a woman when you (the man) are 52 years old. However, having a baby with a woman who is over 35 years old is not advisable due to the potential genetic pitfalls already mentioned by others.

If you're a 40+ man who strongly desires babies, best to do it with a woman 32 or under. The younger, the better. The typical 25 year old woman today isn't making babies a priority, especially if she received a bachelor's degree. At age 25 now, the only women who have kids are women with less education than a bachelor's degree. That could be anything from a high school dropout to a woman with a useful associate level degree.

Peak fertility for women is ages 18-25. Women are supposed to be forming solid long term relationships and families and having babies from ages 16-25. That's changed a lot in the last 30-50 years. Prior to 1980 in Western countries, it was not unusual for a woman to have her first child before she turned 26. This has changed a lot. Now, if a woman has a bachelor's degree, she's usually not having her first child until after her 30th birthday.

The thread below illustrated an older Millennial woman (born 1983) who has less than a bachelor's degree and had 2 kids prior to turning 26. I italicized and slightly modified my comments (in a way that didn't change meaning) from that thread.

Post wall average 39 year old woman making 500K a year on OnlyFans for mild content...sad state of men

So disgraceful dudes are that thirsty these days they would pay to see mild content from an average looking post wall 39 year old woman... What the hell is wrong with these dudes? https://news.yahoo.com/meet-family-behind-texas-thighs-083012479.html

www.sosuave.net

The mainstream media articles that detailed her story claimed that she cleaned houses prior to her being an Instagram/OnlyFans model. She might have been a sole proprietor owning the home cleaning business doing that or doing that as an employee. My guess is that she ran a small home cleaning business, which would be an achievement with her less than a bachelor's degree educational background. I found her LinkedIn and she went to Tarrant Community College (a local community college in Fort Worth, TX). There's no mention of graduation from Tarrant Community College, At best, she has an Associate Degree, which isn't that marketable of a degree in most cases. However, that degree makes her a more marketable romantic partner than a careerist female with an advanced level degree.

 

[2Rocky]

I'm a father of three girls. I'm an uncle to my two sisters two girls and two boys. I could see the possibility of being a foster parent to the right young man if I saw a situation I needed to assist in. But I've been a parent, coach, teacher, advisor, and leader for 25 years.

Everyone talks about "having a baby". Well that phase lasts 2 years. There is 20 plus more years where you are guiding a young life. It is a full time job you do while having your career. Part of me wishes I could have parented more when my career was more on autopilot.

If this is something you want to pursue, you and your partner need to sit down and discuss how much time and money you are willing to invest in conception and delivery. Because there are kids out there who need parents.

He grew up in Montana and Idaho, the son of a drunken and abusive father who beat him and his brother. Brannaman was hurt so badly that he would avoid showering with other boys at school in case they saw the wounds on his back. "My dad beat us mercilessly," he says in the film.


But if their performances weren't perfect, Brannaman said his father would beat the two boys relentlessly. The abuse went on until one day a school football coach noticed the marks on Buck Brannaman's back when he was changing in the locker room for gym class and called the local sheriff. The boys were taken away and placed in foster care. Their father was livid, Brannaman said.

"He actually sent us birthday cards for the next two or three years, telling us that when we turned 18 he was going to hunt us down and kill us," he said. "He would send us letters and tell us that he was watching us through the scope of his rifle at my foster parents' ranch."

Brannaman said his foster parents provided safety and love. His biological father died in 1992.

 

[nzrod]

I see almost 0% chance this will end well.

If you say no, she'll probably dump you for someone who will try, or she'll resent you forever. Baby Rabies overrides all logic.

If you say yes, be ready to spend tens of thousands of dollars on in-vitro; money that will likely be flushed down the drain on miscarriages and even more mental damage to her.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Both options you describe are very clearly in the picture almost to the letter. I said no to a baby so she is leaving me despite saying I am the best boyfriend she has ever had.

 

[nzrod]

2 of the current pregnancies in my social circle occurred as a result of fertility treatments, including in-vitro. Fertility treatments are a waste of money in my opinion and end up compounding problems. Even if fertility treatments do result in a baby or babies, that may not keep a relationship together. In fact, even after fertility treatments and babies, there's still a decent chance of a divorce down tI he road. Considering that, I would think it would be better to save the fertility treatment money for a time when it is needed on attorney's fees in a divorce.

These 2 pregnancies in my social circle that involved fertility treatments were on women under 35. These 2 women spent their early to mid 30s engaging in fertility treatments and one of them had miscarriages.

Both women, despite getting pregnant, did sustain mental damage in the fertility journey.



In both the cases I'm discussing, I believe that adoption would have been a better path overall. However, it wouldn't have been the ideal solution. Both of these men are blue pill guys who did the whole marriage/home buying/pet thing too. If these men had been more red or black pill, they would have not put a ring on it.

In both cases, had these two males not married or not agreed to in-vitro or even an adoption, the relationship would have ended. The woman would have either broken up with them (pre-marriage) or filed for divorce (post-marriage). In consideration the cost of a divorce, the cost of a divorce likely would have been less than fertility treatments + costs of child rearing for the next 18+ years.



If you're a 40+ man who strongly desires babies, best to do it with a woman 32 or under. The younger, the better. The typical 25 year old woman today isn't making babies a priority, especially if she received a bachelor's degree. At age 25 now, the only women who have kids are women with less education than a bachelor's degree. That could be anything from a high school dropout to a woman with a useful associate level degree.

Peak fertility for women is ages 18-25. Women are supposed to be forming solid long term relationships and families and having babies from ages 16-25. That's changed a lot in the last 30-50 years. Prior to 1980 in Western countries, it was not unusual for a woman to have her first child before she turned 26. This has changed a lot. Now, if a woman has a bachelor's degree, she's usually not having her first child until after her 30th birthday.

The thread below illustrated an older Millennial woman (born 1983) who has less than a bachelor's degree and had 2 kids prior to turning 26. I italicized and slightly modified my comments (in a way that didn't change meaning) from that thread.

Post wall average 39 year old woman making 500K a year on OnlyFans for mild content...sad state of men

So disgraceful dudes are that thirsty these days they would pay to see mild content from an average looking post wall 39 year old woman... What the hell is wrong with these dudes? https://news.yahoo.com/meet-family-behind-texas-thighs-083012479.html

www.sosuave.net

The mainstream media articles that detailed her story claimed that she cleaned houses prior to her being an Instagram/OnlyFans model. She might have been a sole proprietor owning the home cleaning business doing that or doing that as an employee. My guess is that she ran a small home cleaning business, which would be an achievement with her less than a bachelor's degree educational background. I found her LinkedIn and she went to Tarrant Community College (a local community college in Fort Worth, TX). There's no mention of graduation from Tarrant Community College, At best, she has an Associate Degree, which isn't that marketable of a degree in most cases. However, that degree makes her a more marketable romantic partner than a careerist female with an advanced level degree.

Great post and I think accurate

 

[bat soup]

Hi gentlemen
I have just turned 52 and my 45.5 year old Asian girlfriend wants to have a baby. We live together. She had two miscarriages when she was married 8 years ago...and is childless. She was devastated and still wants a kid (marriage ended as he cheated).

I feel if I dont, the relationship might not last. She may a) subconsciously resent me for all time or b) subconsciously seek a man who will, while being with me. I dont think she will consciously do a or b as she is very Christian with clear morals but she is also a human ...so subconsciously she may.

If I have a kid I will be about 71 when the child is 18.

What are your thoughts please?

I think she's probably too old at this point. Medically, it's not advisable over 40.

I'd leave her and get a 20 year old.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Both options you describe are very clearly in the picture almost to the letter. I said no to a baby so she is leaving me despite saying I am the best boyfriend she has ever had.

Advice from the old lady:

If she leaves you she leaves you. You do not want the risk of birth defects. We had Down Syndrome in my family, a distant aunt/uncle. Maternal age of my aunt for that birth? She was 44.

Risk of Down Syndrome and other serious genetic conditions exponentially increases with advancing maternal age. Highest risk? Women whose first term pregnancy is older than 40 years of age. My aunt met this criteria. That cousin was lucky. My aunt & uncle were straight up wealthy and could afford their disabled daughter. Down syndrome children often have congenital heart defects (my cousin did, but my relatives could afford the surgery) and usually cannot drive or live independently. Do you want your kid living with you until you die? My cousin lived to be in her mid sixties and was quite elderly for trisomy 21. A trust fund and trusted church members took care of her after her mother died just short of 100 years of age. My family was very fortunate. Many people in my cousin’s situation would have been institutionalized.

Rather sobering.

Women’s eggs are limited. A 45 year old woman is getting pregnant with 45 year old eggs. Eggs degrade over the years, nevermind whatever environmental toxins also build up in those tissues over time (heavy metals, pesticides, etc). Men make new sperm every week or so.

Amniocentesis is no magic bullet either. Often it will give a false result. Tell you a normal fetus is whack, tell you a whack fetus is normal.

Spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) often happens because the fetus is not viable or has serious defects. Raising even higher the specter of that woman having a child with problems.

I had my third child at age 39. Congenital cataract and blindness in the left eye. We were sweating it for years wondering if my daughter was going to have developmental disabilities because the eyes are at the ends of the second cranial nerves…neurological tissue in origin. We were lucky. She’s very smart & well adjusted.

So yeah. It’s real deal. I recall the doctors coming in to tell me “something is wrong with the baby….” My heart stopped knowing there is Downs in the family. Needless to say we were relieved it was *just* a bum eye.

But it’s not just the physical things. She’s a teen now. What do I worry about? Those conversations that are coming as she grows up about how her disability might affect her reproductive prospects…both from the standpoint of choices (mate selection) and the standpoint of potential to pass on defects.

Those are not going to be easy or simple conversations on a number of fronts. And she’s been raised as a normal, functional young woman for whom we apply the same standards as to the older two kids.

She will be driving age in two years. Teaching her to drive without binocular vision is daunting. Fortunately I can afford things, but even her prosthetic eye is an expense (at 5K + each new one) that many could not afford, and insurance companies will not cover it.

So yeah. Lots to consider in this.

 

[Stanley]

You know the majority advice you'll get from here...

Your age is fine, hers not so much.
My parents had me in their late 30's and there still as spry as ever and look 20 years younger. That said, I think 52 is fine to have a kid... but you likely won't be in their life long. I think you both are a little too far along in life to consider having children for the sake of that child. Disorders are a concern, Emotional health and well being of your girl is to be considered given age and past history, the longevity of your involvement with the kid might be short lived etc...

If she's forcing you into a corner here and demanding a baby from you I think she needs a reality check. She's already lost two and the third pregnancy has much much higher chance of having issues. For her sake she shouldn't be popping babies. Ultimately, if you can't give her what she wants and that being kids I think a conversation needs to be had. If she is really that adamant for children I'd be concerned about her mental health as she is at high risk for bearing a child and should be well aware of that and accept it.

Talk with her

 

[corsica]

45yo Asian woman? I'm sorry but the ship already sailed.

If you don't mind Asian women, go to Philippines, Vietnam or Thailand and you'll easily find a woman in her 20's willing to get married and have children with you.

 

[ubercat]

Unfortunately girl isn't saveable. She will just find some guy who will lie to her. If you want another kid go get a hot flip. As LONG as you are RICH. The only way this works is with you paying for a lot of child care. And having funds to help them if you, god forbid shuffle off your perch early. Remember everyone's born ready nobody's ready at the other end.

 

[LTG71]

Fvck no. When the kid graduates high school you will be 70. Too late and wouldn’t be fair to the kid. Bitches like this are selfish. Sorry you never had a kid. Reason why people in the old days got married in their 20s and started families. You need to start earlier if that is what you want. The chances of having a baby at 45 is also low. Funny how Mother Nature turns off these capabilities after a certain age, almost like your body already knows time is up. It’s wild to think how complex and intelligent our bodies are when you think about it. We are horny af in our teens, when procreation is the most effective. Just the tip could get a girl pregnant. But we try to fvck with Mother Nature and prolong this process. Then resort to science to cheat human evolution. Sorry but this is not a wise idea for various reasons. Get her a dog if she wants to baby something.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You know the majority advice you'll get from here...

Your age is fine, hers not so much.
My parents had me in their late 30's and there still as spry as ever and look 20 years younger. That said, I think 52 is fine to have a kid... but you likely won't be in their life long. I think you both are a little too far along in life to consider having children for the sake of that child. Disorders are a concern, Emotional health and well being of your girl is to be considered given age and past history, the longevity of your involvement with the kid might be short lived etc...

If she's forcing you into a corner here and demanding a baby from you I think she needs a reality check. She's already lost two and the third pregnancy has much much higher chance of having issues. For her sake she shouldn't be popping babies. Ultimately, if you can't give her what she wants and that being kids I think a conversation needs to be had. If she is really that adamant for children I'd be concerned about her mental health as she is at high risk for bearing a child and should be well aware of that and accept it.

Talk with her

Trust me when I tell you, nobody wants to have a grandpa for their Dad.

 

[Stanley]

Trust me when I tell you, nobody wants to have a grandpa for their Dad.

I know, that's essentially what I said. 52 is 'fine' on a biological level for a man to provide healthy sperm, doesn't mean he should.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

45.5 year old Asian girlfriend wants to have a baby

Are you fvcking out of your mind?
At that age the risk of all kinds of nasty things instead of a healthy baby is humongously, ridiculously high and it isn't fair for that little human being to be born into a miserable life of all kinds of deformities, health issues.

I say this is of way more importance that her wish for a baby that you should take into the account. It is simply not fair to the kid.

Her baby train passed many years ago and she should just learn to accept it and her past choices to party and fvck around with fvckbois instead of getting married, having children in her twenties. It time for her to meet the cats and live it.

What are your thoughts please?

Get in shape, hit the gym and get that six pack and then bang 30 yr old girl thick if you really want that.
At least the baby will be fine for life.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[nzrod]

T

Advice from the old lady:

If she leaves you she leaves you. You do not want the risk of birth defects. We had Down Syndrome in my family, a distant aunt/uncle. Maternal age of my aunt for that birth? She was 44.

Risk of Down Syndrome and other serious genetic conditions exponentially increases with advancing maternal age. Highest risk? Women whose first term pregnancy is older than 40 years of age. My aunt met this criteria. That cousin was lucky. My aunt & uncle were straight up wealthy and could afford their disabled daughter. Down syndrome children often have congenital heart defects (my cousin did, but my relatives could afford the surgery) and usually cannot drive or live independently. Do you want your kid living with you until you die? My cousin lived to be in her mid sixties and was quite elderly for trisomy 21. A trust fund and trusted church members took care of her after her mother died just short of 100 years of age. My family was very fortunate. Many people in my cousin’s situation would have been institutionalized.

Rather sobering.

Women’s eggs are limited. A 45 year old woman is getting pregnant with 45 year old eggs. Eggs degrade over the years, nevermind whatever environmental toxins also build up in those tissues over time (heavy metals, pesticides, etc). Men make new sperm every week or so.

Amniocentesis is no magic bullet either. Often it will give a false result. Tell you a normal fetus is whack, tell you a whack fetus is normal.

Spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) often happens because the fetus is not viable or has serious defects. Raising even higher the specter of that woman having a child with problems.

I had my third child at age 39. Congenital cataract and blindness in the left eye. We were sweating it for years wondering if my daughter was going to have developmental disabilities because the eyes are at the ends of the second cranial nerves…neurological tissue in origin. We were lucky. She’s very smart & well adjusted.

So yeah. It’s real deal. I recall the doctors coming in to tell me “something is wrong with the baby….” My heart stopped knowing there is Downs in the family. Needless to say we were relieved it was *just* a bum eye.

But it’s not just the physical things. She’s a teen now. What do I worry about? Those conversations that are coming as she grows up about how her disability might affect her reproductive prospects…both from the standpoint of choices (mate selection) and the standpoint of potential to pass on defects.

Those are not going to be easy or simple conversations on a number of fronts. And she’s been raised as a normal, functional young woman for whom we apply the same standards as to the older two kids.

She will be driving age in two years. Teaching her to drive without binocular vision is daunting. Fortunately I can afford things, but even her prosthetic eye is an expense (at 5K + each new one) that many could not afford, and insurance companies will not cover it.

So yeah. Lots to consider in this.

Thanks