4 great dates + kissing + touching / rejected + LJBF?

[marmel75]

You didn't read it carefully - there was no room for banging (i find banging in public toilette or other strange places desperate and tasteless), and just after 4th date (which was OK) she made almost 10 days trip, almost no contact from both sides. When she returned it was over.





congratulations, not my style.





Yes, but on the other hand have you never heard about women changing their minds? Haven't you ever dismiss the girl once, and at some point in the future want to bang her badly? I know it's less probable, but don't make what she said so definite. She is young, cute, inexperienced girl, unsure of her feelings.




I'm rather confused about how suddenly she made this decision. Everything was just OK (I would say it was escalating), then she went on a trip (we goodbye with a lovely kiss and "fire in eyes"), not seeing me, no actions from both sides, she was "thinking about it long and intensively" during these days, and then gave me that decision.
Was she attracted or not? Why she lost the interest during "silent days" and not earlier, what I was a bit needy, too available etc?
I mean - I've would never spent couple of days kissing/touching a girl which is not attractive to me, I wouldn't even start and wouldn't agree on her actions.

Meh, I think there is too much "logic" in my way of thinking about this...





Perhaps... but I don't think it's like that.
She is not a "wamp" or "wh0re" type of girl. Rather young, cheerful, not experienced (told me never has sex outside the 3.5year relationship), a little bit shy, dismissing guys seducing her kindly but firmly. Maybe it's all BS and she is different and I'm too naive, but I don't think so.
And she has also some girlfriends (I would say 50/50), so no exaggeration here.





Yeap, I was surprised too.
I think "nice guy" part of my nature woke up then and I've just wanted hug her and tell "everything gonna be ok". Maybe mistake from DJ technique perspective, but we are humans after all, not robots.
What's interesting, that was the night when when I escalated from hugging to kissing and panties exploration.






UPDATE:
A little bit online talking between us:
- I've got the present for you, will make you happy bla bla
- Do i look like a sad guy..?
(after 2 days)- Hmm no you're not... anyyyway I'm so tired and busy, didn't even have time to respond you quickly. And tomorrow I'm going to my vacation!
- You're not the only one being busy and tired... Have fun on your vacation
- Yess... I will finally have time to sleep and rest!


Nothing else here.
But I don't care about women words, let's see some actions.
We will probably meet next week after her vacation (she wanna go tennis and swimming pool), will check her attitude...

Yes, sadly she was wanting actions not words from you on Dates 1-4 and didn't get them so she figured either you are scared or aren't interested in sex. Either way you lose. Stop making the "there was no place" excuse. You should have figured out a date that would have given you a place...you had 4 shots, probably 2 more than you deserved, to be honest

 

[xyz987]

So she has experience with AFC's.





You sure do love the park... Taking any girl to a place more than once within the same month is going to get old fast... Part of the meaning of going on dates is to show her a good time, this means going to different places and engaging in different activities. You took her to the same place 4 times... On top of that, date 1 and 2 sound like the same. And the 2nd date is something friends would do. Date 3 and 4 were basically the same as well. You didn't have 4 dates you had 2. You should have fvcked her in the park since you like it so much, seriously. You weren't really much of a surprise nor really did escalate to the next level.




Phones can destroy relationships or the possibility of one. It's okay to drop by a "hello" but it isn't okay to have a 7 hour conversation talking about what socks you washed. And I'm guessing those dates took place in the park huh? Along with escalation that never escalated to sex.




Oh look, she just admitted that she isn't attracted to you. That's pretty rare most girls would simply disappear. I'm pretty sure the only reason why she's telling you this is because of what a great "friend" you have been. I mean, you massaged her whole body without even lifting some clothes up... What did you expect?



99% sure you just got friend zoned- also known as an area from which you're lacking game. She's only relieved because she doesn't want to stop hanging out with you, as friends of course. I mean you did show her a great time at the park, all the time.



When a woman tells you something like this... And you don't want to be just friends... You tell her flat out that you are interested in her romantically, nothing more nothing less, and if not, then tell her to contact you when she's ready. Then you walk away. This is what men with value do.



Gay-male-girlfriend status. Come on man, this is clearly not what you want. Stand up for you what you want. And if you were to have simply escalated to sex with this girl this wouldn't be happening. I mean, the park would be pretty exhilarating in my opinion. You did have 4 chances, if not more.




She's just checking up on her gay-male-girlfriend. And who are you fooling? You're clearly obsessed with this girl and are now posting stuff in hopes she will turn around. That's not how women work. You need to express your value, whether it be fake or not, through moving on and discovering other prospects. What's so special about this chick?



You got friend zoned because you didn't escalate. Well you did escalate, but you stopped for some reason. Plus the 4 dates to the park thing.

And no, move on.




Oh yeah, 4 dates to the park is pretty unusual...

I don't believe any of what you just wrote bro.




Seriously? So the second a girl that fits your criteria appears you act all weak and needy. That tells me that you don't believe that you deserve a girl like that.



Kind of left that part out... Like I said, the only reason why men act weak and needy is because they don't believe in themselves. They don't have real purpose, direction, drive, which all relates to masculine energy. So they try and make up for it by finding this "perfect women" that they can't even maintain.





Read this:

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

And no.

1. I gave her other propositions, she denied and wanted to go to the park, in quiet place, nature etc.
Once again - first date was like 1h recognition (this huge park is in the middle of our roads home), second I wanna make it sport activity date + some lunch.
3&4th was "funeral stuff" dates, and she proposed it and didn't wanna go anywhere but this fuc*ing park (no people, quiet, nature...). If I had lived alone at my place, I would definitely take her and close the deal. I make her hot and waiting for more, next day she was off for 3 days (funeral) and we were supposed to meet after her arrival, but then she loose her interest.

OK, my bad, maybe I was too conservative, I didn't want to screw it.. I have some bad experiences in escalating too fast...


"When a woman tells you something like this... And you don't want to be just friends... You tell her flat out that you are interested in her romantically, nothing more nothing less, and if not, then tell her to contact you when she's ready. Then you walk away. This is what men with value do."

Yess.. but this is some kind of ultimatum which she would probably denied... but the more I think about that, the more I'm convinced I should do that.



"a girl that fits your criteria appears you act all weak and needy"

sort of. This is my weakness, whenever I find such a girl, I try too hard, think to much, start being too nice, afraid of escalating too early etc. etc.
It happened 2 times in my life, and this is the 3rd time when it ends almost the same...
With other women which don't fit my criteria so perfectly (95% girls that I met), it's just easyy.. i'm relaxed, not needy, i don't give a ****, and I almost always score.

 

[xyz987]

BTW:

If you have ask me (and I'm the only one who seen her body language and actions), I would say the main reason wasn't escalation time and lack of sex-actions. She wanted go slowly and be totally comfortable with first sexual contact.
The main BAD THING was talking too early about "relationship" stuff, showing too much interest and desire too fast, and too much online chating.
TOO MUCH, TOO QUICKLY, she got overwhelmed and under pressure, so she gave up with defensive reflex.

Anyway, I ****ed up.
I KNOW THAT.
But still wanna be sure I did absolutely all i can do to get out of LJBF, I have to try.
Although I've just started meeting with other girls, I'm still ready to give some extra energy to get her attention and attraction again.
And you guys don't recall my failure all over again, just give my some hints on getting out of that specific situation. I know it's hard, but can be done. She's not kind of girl, who seeks another man every weekend. In fact, I was one of the few (or even the only one) who she let in so close in a year. I don't believe she lost ALL her attraction irreversibly.

 

[sylvester the cat]

HOnesty if you think this is bad, I went out with my first girlfriend for 2 weeks I made no move to bang her. Even when we were alone in her parent's house.

You think that was bad? I then went out with a girl for 3 months!!!!!!! I didn't make a move on her until the day she dumped me and even then I didn't make a move so much as ask her if we could bang. Oh the shame.

 

[Kailex]

But I don't care about women words, let's see some actions.

She spent long enough waiting for your "actions".

You are hammering this to the point of over-analysis.

 

[xyz987]

"She spent long enough waiting for your "actions"."

5 days, to be exact.

 

[marmel75]

"She spent long enough waiting for your "actions"."

5 days, to be exact.

4 dates in 5 days?? Wtf is wrong with you, lol...were you trying to scare her away?

 

[The_411]

You didn't read it carefully - there was no room for banging (i find banging in public toilette or other strange places desperate and tasteless), and just after 4th date (which was OK) she made almost 10 days trip, almost no contact from both sides. When she returned it was over.





congratulations, not my style.





Yes, but on the other hand have you never heard about women changing their minds? Haven't you ever dismiss the girl once, and at some point in the future want to bang her badly? I know it's less probable, but don't make what she said so definite. She is young, cute, inexperienced girl, unsure of her feelings.




I'm rather confused about how suddenly she made this decision. Everything was just OK (I would say it was escalating), then she went on a trip (we goodbye with a lovely kiss and "fire in eyes"), not seeing me, no actions from both sides, she was "thinking about it long and intensively" during these days, and then gave me that decision.
Was she attracted or not? Why she lost the interest during "silent days" and not earlier, what I was a bit needy, too available etc?
I mean - I've would never spent couple of days kissing/touching a girl which is not attractive to me, I wouldn't even start and wouldn't agree on her actions.

Meh, I think there is too much "logic" in my way of thinking about this...





Perhaps... but I don't think it's like that.
She is not a "wamp" or "wh0re" type of girl. Rather young, cheerful, not experienced (told me never has sex outside the 3.5year relationship), a little bit shy, dismissing guys seducing her kindly but firmly. Maybe it's all BS and she is different and I'm too naive, but I don't think so.
And she has also some girlfriends (I would say 50/50), so no exaggeration here.





Yeap, I was surprised too.
I think "nice guy" part of my nature woke up then and I've just wanted hug her and tell "everything gonna be ok". Maybe mistake from DJ technique perspective, but we are humans after all, not robots.
What's interesting, that was the night when when I escalated from hugging to kissing and panties exploration.






UPDATE:
A little bit online talking between us:
- I've got the present for you, will make you happy bla bla
- Do i look like a sad guy..?
(after 2 days)- Hmm no you're not... anyyyway I'm so tired and busy, didn't even have time to respond you quickly. And tomorrow I'm going to my vacation!
- You're not the only one being busy and tired... Have fun on your vacation
- Yess... I will finally have time to sleep and rest!


Nothing else here.
But I don't care about women words, let's see some actions.
We will probably meet next week after her vacation (she wanna go tennis and swimming pool), will check her attitude...

Yes we're human and it's great to care for people, but caring for someone isn't taking advantage of their emotional distress. I will reiterate that there is something very wrong with what went down with the post mortem date and both sides were inappropriate.

She was upset and vulnerable so you took down a wounded animal in essence. No different then taking down an extremely drunk chick or one on roofies. This isn't morality police issue but rather again something to think about.