Hi,
me: 27,
her: 24, 8/10, being picked-up by males very often, has a lot of male-buddies, has been on 3-4 real dates in her life though (she dismissed many guys), had 3.5 year relationship (first and only) that finished year before (quit because of boredom), working in event agency (a lot of traveling, parties, events, especially in the summer), being busy, however likes domesticity too (well-balanced girl). She is young and cheerful, sometimes a little bit childish (collecting pics of handsome actors, models etc. like girls sometimes does) but has responsible job duties (being mature and confident in that matter).
Description of situation (short version):
- met online, couple of days of online great small talking/joking
- 1st date walking in the park, talking, glass of wine
- 2nd date great raquet playing in the park + biking + lunch
- 3rd date - wine drinking in the park, talking, kino, kissing a lot, intimacy touching (= i slowly massaged all her body with panties included, she agreed and felt great, we were not drunk)
- 4rd date - ice creams, talking, another park, kissing, holding hands, touching, laughing, just great.
- a lot of online chating between dates (80% initiated by her)
- 1st date on monday, 4th date on saturday (=1 week relationship)
- Then she went off for funeral (3 days, a lot of chating, calling, initiated by her, proposal of the next date, watching movies together etc.)
- Come back for 3 days before next travel (job related event) - little contact, no meeting, she met with friends instead, didn't tell she wanna meet, excuses (I'm tired, I can't make it).
- Went for 4-day job related event - no contact from me, nor her.
- Her return and text message: we should meet and talk.
- Next day we met, she was nervous, no "hello cheek kiss", no touching at all, told me she was thinking about the whole situation all the time during being away, told me i'm great, make her laugh, make her fun, have enormous amount of common interests and activities, BUT she just does't feel "wow effect" somewhere inside and "we can do this thing all together but NOT AS A COUPLE".
Also added "I don't know what I really want", "I know I gave you GREAT signs of interest, I had to kiss you to check if this is it, and it's not", "I have so small experience with males", "No one has ever chased after me so great as you", "your intelligence amaze me", "you didn't deserve to tell you THIS via online chat so we met". When talking, had tears in her eyes. When finished, had great relief, being relaxed again, smiling etc.
- My reaction: I was smiling, tried to kiss her immediately (refused nervously, said NO), than when she was emotionally "open" I took her hand, listening and saying "it's OK, relax, I know what you mean bla bla bla", DIDN'T admit directly "OK LJBF", but didn't also said "No sex? Goodbye forever or change your mind".
- Then the rain drops, we hide under the tree, it was cold, we were hugging very strong for 20 minutes, I did some kino with her hair etc., she also had (sniffing my perfumes, playing with hair), than we had some lunch, talk about future fun activities (she was very enthusiastic like: "take me to the theater!", "yes, i wanna do this!", "this is great idea, may i come with you?" etc).
- After that, there's almost 2 weeks - and almost no contact. I moved into shadow, she texted me once "how are you, are you ok?", I reply "I'm fine, thanks". That's it. Now she is on another "job event trip", no contact. I have a lot of activities (including with other girls, friends, family), posting about it on FB, having fun, not putting all the eggs in one basket, but still being crushed and thinking about her.
Is it over? What really happened?
Should I invite her on next activities/fun dates as we spoke?
OK, now my analysis of the situation (please read it before you reply):
I'm quite experienced DJ, always had nice game, mainly thanks to creative negs, high IQ, sense of humor, sarcasm, being mysterious, having unusual complements and dates ideas, interesting life (nice job, sports, music, a lot of activities), and so on.
When I was dating other girls it was "blah,OK" but when i met her, it was instant crush - such a chemistry I've never had before plus her physical attributes which fulfill my requirements, a lot of common things and interests, same view on things.
We had great talking and I started the game perfectly, but then make this mistake - I trusted her to quickly, I've opened, sometimes being her adviser and therapist (the funeral stuff), TOO MUCH online chating (it was great, indeed). I never did that way with a women I dated (DJ rules!), but this one I've seen "special" and started being too nice, too open, too avaiable. I've also said things sth like "I like you", "will you be missing me?", "Do you like me?" etc (damn me, it's so lame!). I showed her a lot of signs of interest, a lot of physical compliments and sexual tension.
On the other hand I wasn't needy, she was the one to initiate 80% of the chats. She liked me, she cannot stop kissing me back then, showed up on dates despite "funeral feelings", job duties etc. Told about me to her mum and friends. We had also great erotic "electricity" and tension when talking and touching (a lot of allusions).
However, she rarely asked about my personal life from the beginning, wasn't curious too much (other girls typically kill me with questions), mainly being focused how my day was, to tell her sth interesting etc (no questions about family, my place, my plans). She rather was talking A LOT about herself, her job, events, plans, emotions, friends etc. (which I was keeping alive by asking interesting questions). The only thing she asked a lot was my previous relationships (she couldn't believe I've never had LTR, has such a high demands, and waiting for someone special). I ignored that "little signs of disinterest" thinking "she is just that type of girl".
So I started to think that the deal is almost close, and next time we will hit the bed together with great passion and chemistry.
NOPE.
She changed her mind and it confuses me like hell. :cuss: I'm almost sure she had A LOT OF FUN, she was attracted, kissing&touching turned her HOT. I am also sure, she will not find quickly any other male that give her such a great time and compatibility. But I also know it's not logic that woman speaks, it's her emotions. And the emotions changed 180 degrees in a couple of days when she was off.
I also know what mistakes I've made that may kill her sexual attraction (challenge ended to quick for her or I was too hasty).
For 90% she didn't meet anyone else.
What do you think about that, bros?
How do you feel? Is there any chance to rebuild the attraction through "friends like" fun meetings, slowly incorporated kino, showing no neediness etc?
Should I speak her or not?
It's like almost 2 weeks without any contact (and now she has another 1 week vacation with friends so it'll be almost 1 month). Is there any chance she is still interested but things went too quick, she freaked out, need more time?
Needles to say, I'm still thinking about her and her behavior, and can't move on easily like with other girls previously.
me: 27,
her: 24, 8/10, being picked-up by males very often, has a lot of male-buddies, has been on 3-4 real dates in her life though (she dismissed many guys), had 3.5 year relationship (first and only) that finished year before (quit because of boredom), working in event agency (a lot of traveling, parties, events, especially in the summer), being busy, however likes domesticity too (well-balanced girl). She is young and cheerful, sometimes a little bit childish (collecting pics of handsome actors, models etc. like girls sometimes does) but has responsible job duties (being mature and confident in that matter).
Description of situation (short version):
- met online, couple of days of online great small talking/joking
- 1st date walking in the park, talking, glass of wine
- 2nd date great raquet playing in the park + biking + lunch
- 3rd date - wine drinking in the park, talking, kino, kissing a lot, intimacy touching (= i slowly massaged all her body with panties included, she agreed and felt great, we were not drunk)
- 4rd date - ice creams, talking, another park, kissing, holding hands, touching, laughing, just great.
- a lot of online chating between dates (80% initiated by her)
- 1st date on monday, 4th date on saturday (=1 week relationship)
- Then she went off for funeral (3 days, a lot of chating, calling, initiated by her, proposal of the next date, watching movies together etc.)
- Come back for 3 days before next travel (job related event) - little contact, no meeting, she met with friends instead, didn't tell she wanna meet, excuses (I'm tired, I can't make it).
- Went for 4-day job related event - no contact from me, nor her.
- Her return and text message: we should meet and talk.
- Next day we met, she was nervous, no "hello cheek kiss", no touching at all, told me she was thinking about the whole situation all the time during being away, told me i'm great, make her laugh, make her fun, have enormous amount of common interests and activities, BUT she just does't feel "wow effect" somewhere inside and "we can do this thing all together but NOT AS A COUPLE".
Also added "I don't know what I really want", "I know I gave you GREAT signs of interest, I had to kiss you to check if this is it, and it's not", "I have so small experience with males", "No one has ever chased after me so great as you", "your intelligence amaze me", "you didn't deserve to tell you THIS via online chat so we met". When talking, had tears in her eyes. When finished, had great relief, being relaxed again, smiling etc.
- My reaction: I was smiling, tried to kiss her immediately (refused nervously, said NO), than when she was emotionally "open" I took her hand, listening and saying "it's OK, relax, I know what you mean bla bla bla", DIDN'T admit directly "OK LJBF", but didn't also said "No sex? Goodbye forever or change your mind".
- Then the rain drops, we hide under the tree, it was cold, we were hugging very strong for 20 minutes, I did some kino with her hair etc., she also had (sniffing my perfumes, playing with hair), than we had some lunch, talk about future fun activities (she was very enthusiastic like: "take me to the theater!", "yes, i wanna do this!", "this is great idea, may i come with you?" etc).
- After that, there's almost 2 weeks - and almost no contact. I moved into shadow, she texted me once "how are you, are you ok?", I reply "I'm fine, thanks". That's it. Now she is on another "job event trip", no contact. I have a lot of activities (including with other girls, friends, family), posting about it on FB, having fun, not putting all the eggs in one basket, but still being crushed and thinking about her.
Is it over? What really happened?
Should I invite her on next activities/fun dates as we spoke?
OK, now my analysis of the situation (please read it before you reply):
I'm quite experienced DJ, always had nice game, mainly thanks to creative negs, high IQ, sense of humor, sarcasm, being mysterious, having unusual complements and dates ideas, interesting life (nice job, sports, music, a lot of activities), and so on.
When I was dating other girls it was "blah,OK" but when i met her, it was instant crush - such a chemistry I've never had before plus her physical attributes which fulfill my requirements, a lot of common things and interests, same view on things.
We had great talking and I started the game perfectly, but then make this mistake - I trusted her to quickly, I've opened, sometimes being her adviser and therapist (the funeral stuff), TOO MUCH online chating (it was great, indeed). I never did that way with a women I dated (DJ rules!), but this one I've seen "special" and started being too nice, too open, too avaiable. I've also said things sth like "I like you", "will you be missing me?", "Do you like me?" etc (damn me, it's so lame!). I showed her a lot of signs of interest, a lot of physical compliments and sexual tension.
On the other hand I wasn't needy, she was the one to initiate 80% of the chats. She liked me, she cannot stop kissing me back then, showed up on dates despite "funeral feelings", job duties etc. Told about me to her mum and friends. We had also great erotic "electricity" and tension when talking and touching (a lot of allusions).
However, she rarely asked about my personal life from the beginning, wasn't curious too much (other girls typically kill me with questions), mainly being focused how my day was, to tell her sth interesting etc (no questions about family, my place, my plans). She rather was talking A LOT about herself, her job, events, plans, emotions, friends etc. (which I was keeping alive by asking interesting questions). The only thing she asked a lot was my previous relationships (she couldn't believe I've never had LTR, has such a high demands, and waiting for someone special). I ignored that "little signs of disinterest" thinking "she is just that type of girl".
So I started to think that the deal is almost close, and next time we will hit the bed together with great passion and chemistry.
NOPE.
She changed her mind and it confuses me like hell. :cuss: I'm almost sure she had A LOT OF FUN, she was attracted, kissing&touching turned her HOT. I am also sure, she will not find quickly any other male that give her such a great time and compatibility. But I also know it's not logic that woman speaks, it's her emotions. And the emotions changed 180 degrees in a couple of days when she was off.
I also know what mistakes I've made that may kill her sexual attraction (challenge ended to quick for her or I was too hasty).
For 90% she didn't meet anyone else.
What do you think about that, bros?
How do you feel? Is there any chance to rebuild the attraction through "friends like" fun meetings, slowly incorporated kino, showing no neediness etc?
Should I speak her or not?
It's like almost 2 weeks without any contact (and now she has another 1 week vacation with friends so it'll be almost 1 month). Is there any chance she is still interested but things went too quick, she freaked out, need more time?
Needles to say, I'm still thinking about her and her behavior, and can't move on easily like with other girls previously.
