30 seconds is all it takes

[skip2mylou781]

If i had to pick the coolest little contribution i've made to the community, this would be it: the 30-second approach. This is, and always has been, my favorite type of approach, both because it's by far the most effective one i've found, and because it allows for so much flexibility and spontaniety when it comes to the follow-up.

The fact that some people would have you believe that it takes years of practice, countless books and 2000-dollar seminars to learn how to approach women is in my opinion, nothing short of astonishing. All it takes is a bit of courage, a warm, friendly smile and a genuine desire to meet another person so that you may positively influence their life in your own unique way.

Interestingly enough, the masters of complex seduction methods themselves only claim to have a 30% closing ratio, and this is after spending 10-15 minutes with the woman. How is it that i'm able to succeed twice as often, with prettier women, and in only 30 seconds (10 of which are spent on getting the actual number or email).

Is it because i'm genuine and they're not? I think so. Honestly, this is the only factor i've been able to identify that when present, makes my success rate skyrocket and when absent, lowers it to laughable levels. So does being genuine mean anyway? Quite simply is it TRULY, DEEPLY, WISHING WHAT'S BEST FOR HER.

And that's it, simple as that. Love her. Even if you don't know a thing about her, love her. Say "i love you" in your mind as you're walking up to her. She'll see it in your smile, she'll hear it in your voice, and will open up to your in an instant as if she's known you forever.

Don't try to "pick her up." Don't try to impress her. Don't try to fvck her. Don't try to trick her. Don't try to lie to her. ONLY try to make her feel good inside, not because you think it'll get you something in return, but because you genuinely love making other people feel good. As a TACTIC, this is worthless, as a PHILOSOPHY, this is EVERYTHING.

When you grasp it, truly grasp it, you will have no fear. Why would you? You're walking up to a woman who you, by default, assume to be warm, caring, friendly, outgoing, romantic and sweet. Not only that, but you're walking up to her with the very best intentions, truly wishing to do something to positively impact her hour, day, week, year or entire life!

How will you do this? Who knows? Who cares? Maybe your smile will make her feel good inside for the next 15 minutes, even though she had to turn you down because she's in love with someone else. Maybe you'll become her passionate lover and satisfy her deepest desires. Maybe you'll become a lifelong friend who'll always be there for her. Or maybe you'll marry her. Does it really matter? Regardless of what happens, you desire what's best for her and will always act from that desire.

So how do you walk off with a number less than 30 seconds after approaching? Simple. Pick out the prettiest girl you can see, walk right up to her and speak the truth. Are you feeling really shy? Say it! "I have to be honest with you... i'm really shy and don't really know how to do this... but i just thought you were really attractive and didn't want to miss a chance to meet you." That's it! Shake her hand, exchange names, tell her that you'd like to get to know her better and exchange contact info.

I can already hear the skeptics! "This'll never work!" "You show too much interest!" "You didn't build enough rapport!" "She'll never return your call!" SILENCE! This has worked, does work and always will work, but ONLY for the man who has TRULY acquired the philosophy outlined above. If you TRULY act selflessly, with only HER best interests in mind, you can convey SO MUCH in SO LITTLE TIME that some women will downright STALK you afterwards!

I don't mean to brag but gentlemen, i've had some amazing successes with this. First and foremost, the women i refer to in the following paragraphs are always beautiful, so they're far, far from desperate. Nevertheless, you wouldn't believe the number of times i've been asked to SPEND THE DAY with them after talking to them for only 20-30 seconds!

"Hey, i'm going shopping, would you like to come?" "I'm actually heading over to that place over there, why don't you join me?" "We're going for a swim, wanna keep us company?" I've heard it all. Not only that, but the numbers and emails i get are SOLID! I nearly always get a reply almost immediately, and nearly always the girl suggests wanting to see me soon in the very first reply!

I kid you not, even if all i do is send her a cute text message or a simple email, i'll often hear back in minutes, and "we should hang out soon" (worded in one way or the other) is more than likely part of that reply. And this is coming from a guy who used to get fake numbers so often that it'd make you cry!

Once again, i can't stress this enough, mastery of love is EVERYTHING. When i approached with selfish interests, i succeeded 5% of the time (even though i'm a good-looking guy!). When i began approaching with selfess interests, the success rate INSTANTLY shot up 10-15 times! But you can NOT use this as a tactic, you must TRULY care about her and want the BEST for her!

So what happens after getting the number or email? Whatever you want. I often follow up with a quick, playful text message, email or phone call. When? After 10 minutes, an hour, two days, four weeks. It honestly doesn't matter. Some people will tell you that you'll be forgotten if you don't call for too long, but both my first and my second most serious relationships were with girls that i took over a month to call after having talked to them for only a couple of minutes (yes, these were some of my "longer" approaches).

It doesn't really matter what you do. Let go of the outcome. Who cares if you end up sleeping with her? If you're true to yourself, you probably will, but does it really make any difference? If you're in a big city, there are 500,000 other young women to choose from. Can you say INFINITE ABUNDANCE? Who cares if you become her friend, lover, boyfriend or husband? As long as you ENJOY the experience!

Be strong. Always be strong. Be brave; look fear in the eyes and crush it where it stands. Be honest, no matter what the cost. Refuse to lie regardless of how great the perceived benefits, and the value you will have in the eyes of others will be UNPARALELLED. Love. Don't be afraid to love unconditionally, even if you're not loved in return, even if you KNOW you're gonna get hurt. Love for the sake of love itself. Laugh often, as often as possible. Live, just live. Become one with the universe, one with the unbreakable law, and you will have everything life has to offer.

good to kno someone agrees with me that all u need to do is tell a beautiful woman that shes beautiful when u initially approach her! (i got flamed for givin that advice on a thread before lol)

 

[AngelusPUA]

Being selfless is a major part of being charming; I wrote a post about this the other day, here is part of it.....

Charm
-Smile: If you don’t smile you’re not charming, simple
-Let people talk: You just listen and let people tell you about themselves, biggest mistake guys make on a date is to talk about themselves too much. Let the girl talk about everything and anything all you have to do is listen and obviously carry the conversation along.
-Compliment do not flatter: The difference between a compliment and flattery is that compliments have no hidden agenda, It’s just a genuine compliment and it doesn’t make the person feel uncomfortable. Do not compliment somebody unless you really mean it, women especially have a good radar for bullsh*t. Another dating mistake guys make is over complimenting, you come off as fake and desperate, give the girl one sincere compliment and don’t make a big deal of it.
-Selflessness: The secret to charm is to be selfless. You are not being charming because you want something in return; you are being charming because that’s who you are. Do not give compliments with the expectation of receiving a compliment in return; do not listen with the expectation of being listened to.
-Eye contact: Straight forward, make sure you don’t stare.
-Confidence: I know these so called Gurus say to use ****iness but I say use confidence it’s different to ****iness. ****iness means you have something to prove, confidence means you have nothing to prove because you already know everything you need to know.
-Genuine interest: You need to have a real interest in getting to know people, don’t ask questions not wanting to hear the answers you need to have a curiosity about the person.

I agree with what you’re saying, great post even thought it took the better part of 10 min to read. Some things were a little foreign to me personally like telling her your shy, I'm sure it works but I don't think it’s the impression you want to give women of yourself.

Nonetheless it is obviously working for you and your getting laid by doing it so I believe you have something here and this is a great post for AFC's to read.

 

[Krassus]

good to kno someone agrees with me that all u need to do is tell a beautiful woman that shes beautiful when u initially approach her! (i got flamed for givin that advice on a thread before lol)

Your posts really stand out on here and it'd be wise for people to listen. I actually have the search page with your entire post history bookmarked

 

[skip2mylou781]

Your posts really stand out on here and it'd be wise for people to listen. I actually have the search page with your entire post history bookmarked

i see ur smart enough not to even bother joining my war against those losers who constantly flame........im gonna ignore them from now on and discuss suave shyt with u cuz u kno ur shyt really well from wat i saw in ur other threads too

 

[Krassus]

Hey Angelus, can you link that entire post here please? That bit about charm was pretty solid. Also, as far as telling girls you're shy goes... by default, i come off as a bit of a player. Dyed hair, earring, tan, muscle, Versace shades, etc So if i'm feeling shy and verbalize it, it really makes girls feel more comfortable with me and makes them open up to me faster. I seem more human, more attainable, easier to connect with. However, if i'm not feeling shy, i'm not gonna say it. That was just a suggestion for those who do (most guys, most of the time).

 

[Blusher]

This is a great post and I can totally relate to that.

Simple. Pick out the prettiest girl you can see, walk right up to her and speak the truth. Are you feeling really shy? Say it! "I have to be honest with you... i'm really shy and don't really know how to do this... but i just thought you were really attractive and didn't want to miss a chance to meet you." That's it! Shake her hand, exchange names, tell her that you'd like to get to know her better and exchange contact info.

One of my most perfect, most spontaneous street-pickup one night was in Paris as I was playing Street hockey with my friends. I saw that gorgeous girl walking by, we had a brief EC and 30 seconds after I simply dropped my stick and went to her with a very pure and humble yet assertive opener:

"I don't know what to say, but I saw you and I wanted to talk to you."

It took a couple of minutes, we agreed on a place to meet. That's all it took.

I have seen my friend Spike, France most famous PUA, meet his GF in a dept. Store with a opener so pure and so simple that it looked like the guy had never consciously worked on his seduction skills but rather was guided instinctively.

The truth is, you don't reach that in one day. It takes time to build up your confidence, to start feeling the vibe and reading her body language, the way she talks the sound of her voice, all that comes from experience. Once you've internalized all that knowledge, it seems natural, it feels natural and then only you can experience the kind of 30 sec connections that Krassus writes about.

 

[AngelusPUA]

Hey Angelus, can you link that entire post here please? That bit about charm was pretty solid. Also, as far as telling girls you're shy goes... by default, i come off as a bit of a player. Dyed hair, earring, tan, muscle, Versace shades, etc So if i'm feeling shy and verbalize it, it really makes girls feel more comfortable with me and makes them open up to me faster. I seem more human, more attainable, easier to connect with. However, if i'm not feeling shy, i'm not gonna say it. That was just a suggestion for those who do (most guys, most of the time).

Great I see your point and I totally agree, although I wouldn’t do it (because I am never shy) I could see how it would be a useful for a lot of people.

Here is the link.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

PS has a podcast where he says that shy guys are shy because they are self-centered, and that they suffer because they put all of their attention on themselves and not on the girl. I would think that anxiety comes from living too much in you own head and not getting into hers. I really believe that we get what we put out into the world...

 

[Luke Skywalker]

30 seconds, eh? I'll keep that in mind with my 3 second FUR.

I'm still trying to approach a girl within 3 seconds - so just be honest - "Hey, I'm a 30 y/o virgin and need to get laid, wanna fvck me? What's your #? "
They say that works in 1 out of 25 girls.

No seriously, I think the 30 second idea is cool, the FIRST SUCCESSFUL #-close was this, I went up to a girl, introduced myself and where I came from, she did the same thing, and I immediately closed for her number.

Or, go up to a girl and say, "Me like you - give me # ?" I'm going to make a 10 second approach dude.

 

[chickenlegs03]

Your posts really stand out on here and it'd be wise for people to listen. I actually have the search page with your entire post history bookmarked

"action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve" - some guy Player_Supreme quoted in his podcast

Great post Kraussus, and I agree the biggest reason skip's posts are refuted is because too many here sit around all day and theorize about crap like alphas, and what can or cannot be done. If you're just out there doing stuff, you know what really can or cannot be done...and I don't find any of his stuff hard to believe...I find it harder to believe that people don't believe him.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

30 seconds, eh? I'll keep that in mind with my 3 second FUR.

I'm still trying to approach a girl within 3 seconds - so just be honest - "Hey, I'm a 30 y/o virgin and need to get laid, wanna fvck me? What's your #? "
They say that works in 1 out of 25 girls.

No seriously, I think the 30 second idea is cool, the FIRST SUCCESSFUL #-close was this, I went up to a girl, introduced myself and where I came from, she did the same thing, and I immediately closed for her number.

Or, go up to a girl and say, "Me like you - give me # ?" I'm going to make a 10 second approach dude.

I think you missed the OP's point.

 

[skip2mylou781]

a 30 year old virgin in no way can relate to techniques that bring success - cuz hes never used them! and as a result hes being sarcastic and trying to be funny

 

[Krassus]

"action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve"

Fantastic quote!

 

[Doggystyle]

i see ur smart enough not to even bother joining my war against those losers who constantly flame........im gonna ignore them from now on and discuss suave shyt with u cuz u kno ur shyt really well from wat i saw in ur other threads too

oh my god! krassus has picked you up in thirty seconds! Jusk kidding,

Good post krassus by the way!

 

[Krassus]

thanks

 

[DJHoolahoop]

there's a lot of wisdom in this post and the replies i've been reading as i know i had often wondered about the afc sounding ways that it would imply, but i realized that the afc's would love in fear or do things in fear whereas the man who believes in love has nothing to fear. it goes with all things improving in my life, with love i refuse to be dishonest to myself and to others, its just not worth it to me.

the other thing i noticed about afc's is how they come across. to the afc they may sympathize with what happens to women and feel they need to shoot themselves down for having similar feelings as the men they crap on about. but then they don't realize that they approach women this way that speaks that there's something off about it, almost like you could just be fronting to get something from them. whereas the guy that has nothing to hide and is genuine because of it becomes more trustable and therefor more likely to be with that girl.

 

[Delta]

hmmm...

i think krassus is talking about "LOVE" as in almost a biblical, jesus like love... and in that case, i think he's right. this is the "love is power" message.

afcs don't really exhibit any kind of altruistic love. all their 'love' is motivated by selfishness and a self centered desire to be liked. "i'll give you this, then you give me that". but then again, the love we generally refer to here on this site, erotic or (gk. EROS) love is ESSENTIALLY selfish. i think we're talking about incorporating a more altruistic love to imply power and plenty as foreplay to eros love.
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the "love as power" logic breaks down like this and it's all about reading between the lines:

- to be selfish, self centered, urgent and clawing is to imply POVERTY and the inability or get what you want and the lack of confidence that you will get it so you have to expend every effort to get it.

- similarly, to be ANGRY all the time and bullying may on the surface seem to be a form of power but it implies the opposite. the reason why you're angry must be because you are frustrated and nothing is working out for you. implies impotence.

- to be selfless and exhibit "true love" (and if we take it back to the greek, we're talking about AGAPE love here and not what we usually talk about, EROS) is to have SUPREME CONFIDENCE that all your needs are met and therefore you don't have to scramble for every last morsel. the fact that you are not DEFENSIVE but OPEN reveals that you are confident that nothing can hurt you and implies power.

HMMMMMMMMMM.... actually, if you take the notion of AGAPE love to its logical conclusions, this might indeed come close to the GRAND UNIFIED THEORY (talking about this on another thread) of, if not the pickup, then the character of the PUA? perhaps perhaps, must dwell on it some....

delta

 

[Ace of Flames]

I've rethought my opinion on this, and I've changed my mind, but I still have a small nitpick.

Ok ok, so as long as you have the right mindset, this works. Great. But look how Delta puts it:

to be selfless and exhibit "true love" (and if we take it back to the greek, we're talking about AGAPE love here and not what we usually talk about, EROS) is to have SUPREME CONFIDENCE that all your needs are met and therefore you don't have to scramble for every last morsel. the fact that you are not DEFENSIVE but OPEN reveals that you are confident that nothing can hurt you and implies power.

He says that this kind of "selfless love" takes supreme confidence that your needs are met. Also, he says that you have to be open and confident that nothing can hurt you.

Here's my critique. I don't think this is good advice for the beginning DJ. Most likely, your average rAFC/beginning DJ has low self esteem and is just getting started with improving himself. He's probably been hurt before, and has either little or no experience with girls in the long run. Fair assessment? Ok.

This mindset leaves you right out there in the open, no defense at all. If you mess up, you'll get torn down HARD. Unless you've gone through tons of rejections and have a pretty thick skin, then that'll crush you. The rAFC/beginning DJ will NOT cope with that well, and its just a bad position overall.

So, I suggest this be regarded as "Advanced". For those that've been through hell and high water, psycho ex's and whatever else. They would have the needed experience and tough shell to handle the possible rejection and pick themselves back up afterwards.

As for the rAFCs/beginning DJ's, I'd say to stick with the general DJ methods. At least that way, they'd eventually get farther in the game, developing the thick skin to handle the rejections, and the experience required to have this "supreme confidence that all one's needs are met". Let's be honest, how can you have this all-encompassing love for women if you don't even have the guts to talk to a woman in the first place? That's barely any different than what AFCs do.

 

[unnamed04]

Ace of flames, I think you're trying to analyse this 'technique' too much.

It's not a tactic, or anything that a 'DJ' can just turn on one day at the flick of a switch. It's a way of life, a way of thinking, a way of being. It's waking up in the morning, looking out the window and smiling at the water dripping off the leaves, or the neighbour who can't start his lawn-mower It's about seeing the light in any situation, and loving everything that is. You cannot simply change into this 'state' overnight, from whatever you may be, AFC, 'DJ', or however you like to title yourself. To do so is fake, and defies selflessness. You'd be wasting your time trying to explain to a depressed AFC to love everything, and to smile at all that goes by. They'd think your insane. You simply need to believe that you are in control of your life. You are in control your actions, and your emotions. If you walk up to a girl in the way presented earlier and she rudely brushes you off; you say poor you.. I say poor her. Poor girl without passion, without a real love of living. If someone came up to me in the way presented, it would make my day, or even my week. Still waiting for the day however, hehe.

AFC's let themselves be hurt, walked over, and played. Be true to your self, your morals, and your dignity; And no one can take anything away from you. Girl blows you off after a few dates? Who cares... She's doing you a favour; It wouldn't work anyway.

What sane person wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. Apply this to any relationship and it becomes clear what action to take in nearly all situations.

I am no DJ, PUA or whatever you want to call it. Hell, I don't have a very exciting history with women; But I sure can love life, and am more than willing to let anyone else share it with me, so long as they can appreciate and see it as I do.

 

[B-Lemond]

Awesome Post, Krassus!