28 YO Man Getting Player by 23 yo Female?

[General_ButtNaked]

DO NOT get accusatory, it gives her all the power. Stick to the script I gave you so you can walk away with your seld-esteem or keep fvcking her. Either way you win.

If you let your emotions drive your questions or thought process then you lose.

I have resisted the urge thus far. I wonder why I feel so intensely towards messaging her to figure this thing out. Maybe a vein hope of "solving" things.

I will be trusting your advice. Either she doesnt text back and we are done, or she does however my view of what she is or could be has been changed. As others have posted, this level of game playing this soon is a massive red flag and a girl who wants to ghost and post ass pics on the gram is not worthy of anything but sex it seems.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Resist...
Danget got some good insight, but i fear the oneitis is gonna get the best of you.
Act a little bit more like you dont give a **** if you can.
You need to control your emotion, ik its not easy but if you dont you shoot yourself in the foot.

I hear you man. I am resisting. I actually have to review the replies on here as a reminder to not fall prey to her game. I am feeling emotional and find I need to rely on the hive mind to make decisions for me. This is all really new to me. At least I am learning from the experience. Hopefully I can move forward with less emotional investment and more caution.

She must reach out to me and in the meantime I will begin pursuing other women.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

It sounds to me that when she has ghosted you, you held the urge for awhile and then gave in and texted her?

Yes I had already gave in and messaged her on another occasion. I am as new as one can be in trying to apply some of the concepts spoken of on here. I guess I am an AFC with a little bit of game or maybe even just knowing the language.

I took her low IL as a sign to back off and then decided to withdraw. Which resulted in an angry voicemail and an agreement that we would be straight with one another, which I foolishly believed. In fact she told me to call her out if she was being different or withdrawn. Which I imagine is actually the opposite of what I should do as that would require divulging my emotions

 

[General_ButtNaked]

This could be seen as a red flag. She has dated men in the past who treated her poorly. You have to ask yourself WHY

She actually said that her last relationship was on and off for a couple years. I am starting to piece these pieces of information together.

Sounds to me like the classic pattern of: Plays Games -> Guy gets fed up and withdraws-> Says she will stop -> Guy takes her back -> repeat.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

It’s great that you found game but you should be dating other women and chicks who post their ass on instagram is not LTR worthy.

Many valuable lessons learned. I have no doubt that I will find it hard to spin plates. The nice guy in me still believes in the one. I think I need to get back to dating ASAP. Also yes about the intagram ****, can you imagine the kind of **** she would pull if we were together, Im lucky this happened the way it did.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

****

Ok, double texting is very, very, very, very bad. If not done properly it exudes the highest levels of neediness.

The reality here is that if you were double texting when she ghosted you then you are totally smothering her. That will turn her vag into the sahara desert. It's no wonder she is acting the way she is.

This is likely far too gone at this point, but stick to the script and for the love of god do not double text or chase.

Read up on Pook and pay extra attention to "give her the gift of missing you".

Yeah i think youre right.

I had been out of the dating game for years due to a serious illness.

Im reading the rational male for the second time and its honestly painful to listen to.

Ive done 90% of this wrong.

I agree that its no wonder she is acting like this.

The truth hurts but im aware now. Ill do better. Onto the next one.

 

[lamath]

****

Yeah i think youre right.

I had been out of the dating game for years due to a serious illness.

Im reading the rational male for the second time and its honestly painful to listen to.

Ive done 90% of this wrong.

I agree that its no wonder she is acting like this.

The truth hurts but im aware now. Ill do better. Onto the next one.

At 28 the best is yet to come trust me...

You just need to keep improving and you will have your pic

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Has she texted you yet since she ghosted you yesterday? Nothing by the end of the night? Nothing this morning?

Nothing and now she is super inactive on social media and whatsapp. Way less then usual. It almost makes me want to ask if she is ok.

The day before yesterday she said she missed me and could not wait to see me. Then she had training so i said good luck at training and a couple other things. She ghosted me at that point and i caved that night. Which resulted in a single reply. That brought us to yesterday morning. She texted first to say good morning. I said the same. She ghosted me all day. I havent texted her.

Im super curious as to the why but i guess the medium is the message. It stinks of game playing and insecurity. Possibly another guy.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

N

Stop trying to guess why she is doing it. It isn't game playing, insecurity, or another guy. Ultimately it is your neediness causing it.

So she has not texted you this morning?

You are right.
No nothing at all. Radio silence.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Ok, she is either going to blame you for not trying to reach out, or she is going to just dump you soon and say it's not working.

1. DO NOT REACT TO EITHER.
2. If it's the first, and she blames you for not saying good morning or anything, go with the script about space that I gave you.
3. If instead she contacts you to end it, just say "yeah, we just aren't compatible" AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

You need a lot of help improving and you have strong tendencies to revert to your blue pill training. You need to break that and to stop blaming them, stop reacting to them, and stop arguing with them.

Being aloof and cool no matter what happens is the winning path. Women cannot help but spin their hamster at men who just don't give a $hit.

Yeah i recognise i have a lot of work to do. Im going to put energy into breaking free of the blue pill. My self assessment os that ill use the game i have to get into a bkue pill ltr. Hoping ky awareness of that bull**** will put a stop to it.

As I said im already aware of multiple red flags of mine that need addressing. And of the myriad of mistakes I made.

This is really helpful.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

What I am trying to instill in you is to stop making mistakes in this situationn so you can learn how it plays out.

Let us know when she reaches out. Trust me, she will.

I hear you.

Ill maintain a calm, collected posture.

I wont be pulled into argument nor will i point blame.

Most importantly i will not suffocate her and try to figure out "why". Although in all likelihood i have suffocated her with affection.

Will keep you in the loop, thanks all.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

You may have been doing some things wrong......but it doesn't explain everything. I have a hunch she is damaged goods as well. I mean, she has dated men and NEVER found ONE who treated her well?? WTF??? She is either choossing lowlife thugs and losers...….or she is playing games like she was with you, and causing men to treat her like sh$t due to this. The flip side, she is lying and doesn't want to accept accountability for men walking away, tired of the games. So she makes it "their fault"


Bookmark this page and spend some time on it.

Red Flag behaviors - the short list

Thats an interesting perspective.

She certainly exhibited some pf the traits on that page. Ill be vetting women more stringently going forward.

There was another major red flag i forgot to mention.

We somehow got onto the discussion of porn and she said "if you want to watch that stuff youll never be with me bro".

She views porn as cheating which screams of insecurity and the need to control sexuality. I disagreed with her and she said she felt she could not trust someone with that point of view.

I feel silly for getting drawn in by her. Ill do better going forward.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Well you have to do the following:
1. Take them off the pedestal
2. Put yourself on the pedestal
3. Get experience so every situation isn't some new impossible thing

Thank you.
Currently reading through the DJ bible. So many things i would have done differently already.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

So important, this is the biggest mistake the guys that never make it do.

Would i be right in saying it is actions not words that must be observed for one to know anything ?

 

[General_ButtNaked]

General,

Totally right that actions hold the meaning, words are weak in comparison.

So now how many hours of no contact has it been? The last discussion was Wednesday morning with her saying good morning and you replying once?

Yes still nothing. Not since her wishing me "good morning " on tuesday and me responding in kind.

I am learning first hand that words are weak. She had just told me to "keep my weekend free" she was going to "surprise" me. That being this weekend.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

When did she tell you she was going to surprise you?

This was Sunday and Sonday. I hinted at us getting hotel and she said that sounded good so long as it didnt get in the way of her surprise. I said that comes first and we can talk about it when she fills me in. She said she would reveal what it was during the week.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Ok, so not Tuesday. That's good. Sunday is ancient history.

Yeah the last we talked about it was monday. Then a good morning and nothing. It boggles my mind but I guess I need to accept this is over and it is time to move on.

I have redownloaded bumble and will organize a night out soon. Right now I feel hurt and have little interest in other women. That will pass and I will move forward with the lessons I have learned.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Hold up, don't get spotted on dating apps, then she will hold the high ground. Patience, you can join when this is done.

Also, did you two ever have the exclusivity talk or were you both only just dating?

Roger that I'll hold off.
She wanted to be exclusive on our third date. I agreed. She regularly said she saw us as going somewhere serious. She saw me in a picture with a friends girlfriend and said it made her a little jealous. She also said I was "her guy".

I'm starting to get the vibe I was just "another nice guy".

The only pattern I can see is that I had backed off ever so slightly as in not replying immediately to her texts etc. Maybe I am best forgetting about the why as you said. I was being needy.

I was so tempted to just message her and say we should date other people because the wait here is killing me. I'll stay strong and follow your advice, bide my time and stick to the script or just let her be a lesson.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Yes you REALLY need to learn patience. A guy woth a lot going on and who is focused on hinself isn't going to be on dating apps because his girl hasn't talked to him in two days. That's just a different way of showing neediness.

Right now you are in "fake it til you make it" mode. This means she needs to see you as calm, cool, and not needy. They ALL need to see you this way.

There was a great saying here long ago, I think by PRL and it was "first you fvck her mind, then you fvck her body". You can't fvk her mind if she thinks she knows you and can piece together what you are doing.

WHY is the wait killing you? Why can't you just relax and be occupied with other things? This is the root of a lot of your issues.

Danger I honestly appreciate this so much. Im pretty clueless but I have one thing going for me, I can admit when I am wrong. I want to improve.

So I will continue life as normal, training, study and work. Ill share on my social media as I normally would, no games. If she comes back, maybe we are in my frame. If she does not, you guys will play a huge part in helping me get laid again. Either way I will continue to visit this forum and swallow enough red pill so that I amn't walked on like a doormat anymore.

Yes I certainly have issues. The wait is killing me because I built a story in my head of where we were going to go and what we were going to do. I built expectations. And am now feeling the disappointment of them not being being realized. Im now very aware that I am needy, insecure and that is unattractive. I will work on shedding those qualities and I hope guys like you can help point me in the right direction.

 

[General_ButtNaked]

Sorry if that last post seemed attacking. You are doing well so far. Yeah that "built a story in my head" thing needs to get $hitcanned immediately.

Right now she is either getting anxious for you to contact her or wondering what's going on. Or maybe she already decided she is ending it.

The moment you reach out, it confirms in her head that you are a beta.

Let her wonder. And be ready and prepared with the two scripts I gave you, depending on how she acts.

Nah I understand you are just trying to drill that crucial point into me. Patience is the game here. I am being tested, or else she is already gone. In both cases a reply would either make the decision for her or else I am degrading myself by messaging someone who just has no interest for reasons that dont really matter at the end of the day.