27 and nothing

[SELF-MASTERY]

You deserve to fail with women.

Learn to love the game; the anticipation of a pick up, the confidence shredding rejection, and the bliss of a successful pick up.....

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
You deserve to fail with women.

why would you say that?

 

[DJnoob]

are you skinny? fat? have you considered pumping some iron or something at least for starters

 

[chancer357]

I'm too skinny; anorexic

 

[ShyRyder]

Chancer

Since you started this thread about a year ago ive been checking in ever so often. misery really does love company and when shlt was looking bleak as often did i come and read a little. I think it was the fact that you wouldn't give it a shot, not even try.

It made me feel like strong, like other people with social anxiety won't even try, load up on drugs like paxol or become alcholics.
made me feel like im a fighter
took all the pain straight up

getting laughted out of parties nuff times
having my life threatended nuff times
having girls laugh in my face only once(but stilll)

social anxeity is one of the most fvck up things you can have. I had is so bad that my body would go into fight or flight over people possible noticing my breathing was off on the bus.
I know how the deppression go's too.

I've been fighting this **** for four years
gym
cold approaches
u name it

getting into support group was the best thing i ever did. More progress in 2 months then in those past four years. I don't regret nothing cause all that bull**** made me stronger. When i came back from those parties i couldn't even think about my life cause i know i was in a state where i would do myself serious harm.

u don't won't to take a chance because your ego most definitly will get briuse and you'll be put in that state. and if that happen you might end it(Im assumming thats why u won't try).

first off no one is going to fvckin save you. I speak from experience. YOU DO NOT NEED FEMALE ITAMACY or should u be looking for it. So if you hugh you pillow at night dreaming how that special girl will make every thing perfect. STOP it won't

I don't know what exactly is wrong with you and frankly i don't care. If its social anxiety get your self into a support group. it takes alot to get past that shame and fear but with the will its possible. And yes if you gotta risk you life in making whatever step u need to then it's worth your life. struggle is at the core of our humanity.

I dont feel sorry for u, I'm sure i had it rougher then u. and i'm sure ten others on my street had it rougher then me. Now im just starting to see how beautiful life is and i plan on living it for the both of us.

burn the illusion man
contray to this shltsystem puzzy has nothing to do with self worth.

good luck

btw thanks for your post. whenever i took a risk and failed i came here read your post and told myself "at least im not chancer cuz ill never give in"

 

[Tazman]

Chancer.....come on man. I'm a 26 y/o virgin for Christ's sake. Why is it that you won't try ANYTHING to change your situation? I'm not where I want to be but I'm doing little things all the time to eventually get there. Why is it that you absolutely refuse to try anything at all? Guess what I've slowly started to realize through all my depressing situations?

PEOPLE TRULLY DON'T GIVE A FVCK ABOUT YOU. Having realized this I've been able to slowly but surely start expressing my feelings more and talking with people. At the end of the day no one is going to care about my little insecurities and inhibitions. If you don't make people notice you (in a positive way) you will continue to be invisible.

The other day I was with my Uncle at this bar/grill, and he was holding his pool stick in a case under his arm. The case rubbed up against this woman standing near him, he felt it and glanced over at her. She moved away from him as if he did it on purpose and he just *shrugged.* Knowing me, I wouldv'e went over to her and apologized but in this case it really didn't matter.

Stop looking for cues, and just NOT GIVE A FVCK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Easier said than done, but what do you think will be easier? Living life full of regret and depression, or relishing in the fact that you atleast made SOME effort to overcome this?

 

[iveyleeger]

Funny, the pool cue in the belly is one of my favorite moves... some chicks will jump out of their skin, but just stay cool, and give her a mischevious grin.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

You deserve to fail because you are not willing to take action.

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
You deserve to fail because you are not willing to take action.

I have tried so many times. I can't do anything more.

 

[Golden Arms]

Originally posted by chancer357
I have tried so many times. I can't do anything more.

Really ? If you "tried so many times", let's see some field reports

 

[chancer357]

I've probably written about 300+ emails on all different dating websites. I can't get one person to write back.

 

[iveyleeger]

Well cheer up, Chancer, at least you don't have any problem getting *guys* to write back, just look at this thread!

 

[chancer357]

Yea, I'm not interested in guys.

What else am I supposed to do? I can't even get a girl to write back. A simple conversation - thats all. But no, they don't want anything to do with me.

I don't care about going to the gym. I don't care about trying to get well. Plenty of guys have alot of problems and still can get a date once in a while.

 

[chancer357]

The reason I don't like myself is because I haven't been able to get a date. I don't enjoy anything because I know I can't get a date. It ruins everything.

I've had other stuff, worked on my career. But who cares? What did it get me? Nothing I really wanted to begin with.

Whever I go, I see other people enjoying what I can't have. That just makes everything harder. I can't even get a girl to talk to me online, much less real life.

 

[Ever onward]

I will only post in this thread EXACTLY ONE TIME. This is your last chance Chancer. You sure this ISN'T BS? Can anyone be so pathetic that they won't make the least LITTLE effort to make their life better?

I was once like you. No, strike that I was worse. There was a time in my life I didn't even want to leave the house. Not for work, not for school, not anything. I felt that just BREATHING was painful and too much effort. I just stayed in bed all day and my life slipped away. I finally made some effort and put myself out there and now I'm ALMOST a social person.

Lots of guys on here have given you sound advice. Lots of those guys have felt EXACTLY the way you do. And those guys tried many different ways to get out of their rut. And they failed, many many times. They tried even if they were scared and even though they kept failing. But one day they found their way out of the dark. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The only difference between those guys and you is they grabbed their balls and did something about it.

Only you can change your life chancer. You won't change your life saying "I don't want to do this or I don't feel like doing that". Doesn't matter, YOU HAVE TO ANYWAY! Lot's of people who were worse off than you are have done so. YOU CAN TOO!!!

Only You can fix yourself Chancer. Not anyone else in the world. Stop saying "I can't do this or I don't feel like doing that" DO IT ANYWAY, for your own good.The only way to grow is to force yourself out of your comfort zone. If you're in your comfort zone, you're not growing.

If you feel bad cuz you can't meet girls. Go to a proffessional bootcamp held by the pros and learn to meet women. It doesn't matter if your fat, ugly, old, whatever, these guys can teach you to meet women if you put effort into it.

You have a job, save money. Save $3 a day for the next year and then go for it.

But regardless, you have to make the effort to change your life.

YOU!!

What's it going to take to motivate you? Soon you can start a thread that says "28 and nothing" then "29 and nothing" and before you know it it will be "37 and nothing".

YOUR LIFE IS SLIPPING AWAY!!! GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD NOW!!!!! SOON IT WILL BE TOO LATE AND YOU WILL BE OLD!!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE AS YOUNG OR AS ATTRACTIVE AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!

SOON YOU WILL BE OLD AND UGLY AND WRINKLED AND NO GIRL WILL EVER LOOK AT YOU!!!

YOU WILL WISH YOU COULD COME BACK TO THIS MOMENT AND MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE BETTER!!!

START TODAY!!

DO IT, DO IT NOW!!!!

 

[stevey_2000]

hello mate from the UK!!,

the only advice i can give you is say to yourself you WANT to change, if you dont want to change and stay as you are then that is the rest of your life feeling sorry and miserable for yourself and continually telling my fellow DJ's on this board that your unhappy, blah, blah, blah...

BUT if you are willing to change yourself and want to better yourself then admit that you want to change, take it one step at a time instead of taking 5, i know a few people have said that you should go and talk to girls BUT you need to firstly tell yourself that you are willing to change and take it from there,

feel free to PM me if you need to speak to someone in confidence about taking that step but i know how hard it is because i was once there and i know it CAN be done because i am living proof that confidence in lifestyle can go from feeling very sorry for yourself to not giving a sh!t what others think to being very outgoing and sociable and having plenty of dates but it has to be done one step at a time,

i'm offering my services here my friend to contact me and we'll take it from there, all i can give you is my experience how i got out of it and i want to get you out of it, PM ASAP if you really want to sort your problems out!,

cheers,

Ste.

 

[Filipe]

forget your past, you can't change it

you have to like your life, so start practicing a sport you like

go to the gym to get some muscles

you said you don't have problem with money so go and buy some nice clothes and do a good haircut

whenever you start to have that bad feelings stop that voice in your head

search for a wing in your city, get his contact and go sarging with him

spend some money in a workshop with a guy like badboy or loverboy

get out of your house



START DOING THIS NOW. DON'T LEAVE THIS STUFF FOR TOMORROW!!!

 

[scordate]

to whoever started this thread ! ;-)

charity begins at home

i would consider moving to a new town and get a new start in life

you simply need to get at least one thing going for you and i believe that there is so much 'past' and 'history' in your mind that 'is' just that; the past and history but everywhere you go you are reminded of the past;

throw out all your clothes but a couple of jeans and a shirt; then go down to a clothes store where you have noticed some women before ( not the one store that only have male shop assistants, huh ! ) and say something like;

"hi I really need you help - there was a fire in the flat below mine - so I basically lost everything - i got this cash from my insurance company as 'help' money - I need to get some clothes and you seem like a girl with good taste ! can you spare the next hour ?" then offer to buy her lunch to thank her or perhaps even as sympathy ?
( you time it of course so you are there AM, right ? )

or you can just go in womens dep. and ask for advice for a sweater for your sister
( whaddya mean you dont have a sister, invent one ! ) but dont try the "how would it look on you" routine

there is only one thing that is worse than being miserable for 27 years, and that is being miserable for 27 years and one day !

scr*w the past and future women ;-)

in fact scr*w whatever I have written above

this is what you do;
for the next 7 days, you will have this plan

on day one you will initiate talk with one woman
( no matter how smallish talk, you will just give a remark and smile like you just want to kill time )
on day 2 2 women and so forth

but there are more rules;
none of the woman must be ones that you like

all talk must be in a situation where talk is warranted ( asking for directions - waiting in line )

you are permitted to talk as long as you want but you must not initiate anything other than just talk and if she stops talking you also stop

once your start talking you stay within the same 1 meter

each evening you write down your experiences and your feelings

/ scordate

 

[cinephile]

Another one

While it may be redundant to add anything to this thread ( and 18 pages is quite a bit) since you seem to actually continue to read and contribute to it, I'll add my few bits.

All of us are given challenges in our lives. Some are greater than others. The size of the challenge is not important though. It is our effort to overcome it which is.

I am not going try to analyse you. It probably would be fairly useless. While I could make all kinds assumptions about your personality, your upbringing, and your current state, none of that would be useful because it would'nt solve your problems.

The only thing I can tell you is that if you want things to change in a positive way, you have to initiate them. You have to direct your life, because no one else will.

As far as sending emails out and getting no responses, while not knowing what exactly was sent out to who, I can tell you this. The response rate to unsolicited correspondence (junk mail, Spam, etc) is approximately 40,000 to one. At first it sound bad, but you got to remember what it also says, that somebody eventually will respond. Keep up hope and keep on trying. It is the only way.

 

[Aztec]

I can't believe this thread is still ongoing after over a year...