27 and nothing
- Thread starter chancer357
- Start date
chancer357
Don Juan
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Seattle, ~6mos
Golden Arms
Master Don Juan
Wow, what a coincidence.. I just moved here not too long ago myself
How are you liking the city ?
chancer357
Don Juan
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People are way nicer here than in NY. I definently like it much better than the east coast. I'll never go back there. But the girls are no different really.
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Chancer,
why don't you try some medication? It seems as if no rational response will affect you in any way because you are so far gone in a rut. I was like you constantly thinking negatively, but now I am taking Lexapro and it has built a barrier against those thoughts. Seriously, go see a psychiatirst.
why don't you try some medication? It seems as if no rational response will affect you in any way because you are so far gone in a rut. I was like you constantly thinking negatively, but now I am taking Lexapro and it has built a barrier against those thoughts. Seriously, go see a psychiatirst.
chancer357
Don Juan
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I already have. It doesn't make that much of a difference for me
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
At least most attention hors are hot, Chancer isn't even a chick!
Why is this thread not locked?
Hell why is it even stickied?
Every piece of advice that can possibly given HAS been given.
Time to put this ol dog out of it's misery. :kick:
Kaine
Why is this thread not locked?
Hell why is it even stickied?
Every piece of advice that can possibly given HAS been given.
Time to put this ol dog out of it's misery. :kick:
Kaine
chancer357
Don Juan
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I dont see what it has to do with not wanting to be saved. I tried a ton of **** suggested and not a damn thing helped.
There is some service that is like a couple hundred bucks and they make you and online profile and get pictures for you and stuff. I'm going to try that. And if that doesn't work then I'll probably just shoot myself.
There is some service that is like a couple hundred bucks and they make you and online profile and get pictures for you and stuff. I'm going to try that. And if that doesn't work then I'll probably just shoot myself.
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Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
chancer357
Don Juan
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Moved to the opposite end of the country.
Got a whole new job.
Changed the whole environment.
Gone to the gym, since december.
Gone to a therapist, since december.
Tried antidepressants, since december.
Gone to a bars with ppl from work.
Gone to volunteer stuff that they organized at work to clean parks and stuff.
Walked around this summer.
Gone to coffee shops that have a bunch of chairs to sit and read where people are always talking.
Tried more online dating stuff.
Thats what I tried; so **** you.
Is anything different? No.
Got a whole new job.
Changed the whole environment.
Gone to the gym, since december.
Gone to a therapist, since december.
Tried antidepressants, since december.
Gone to a bars with ppl from work.
Gone to volunteer stuff that they organized at work to clean parks and stuff.
Walked around this summer.
Gone to coffee shops that have a bunch of chairs to sit and read where people are always talking.
Tried more online dating stuff.
Thats what I tried; so **** you.
Is anything different? No.
Fvck me no fvck you!!!!
You little bltch
Look how lucky you have it, People in the the 3rd world real fvcked up problems.
Do they have a library to find out how not to have insane anxiety about not having food in their fvcking stomach. NO
Do they have internet. NO
I read your lame ass post.
Do you not have social anxiety? Yes
Did you find a support group? NO
Do you have a regular social group? NO
Do you have relationships where u reveal secrets? NO
Do you obsess about getting a girl thinking it will solve you all your problems? Yes
Did you reach goals at gym? NO
Did you have goals at gyn?NO
Do you have money for a personal trainer to motivate your pessimistic a$$? Yes
Dis u educate yourself about whatever your problem is and learned that a million other people went through it. NO
Your Not a fvcking special unique snow flake.
Did you do anything at all to change you fvcked up believe system? NO
Have you realized that the power of belief can take you anywhere? NO
Do you jack off to internet porn every night? Probably
Fvck you, I’ve had it ten time worst then your puck a$$ and million other had it ten times worst then me.
Options
Kill your self u pu$$y
SHUT THE **** UP and live in misery
DO WHAT U KNOW U HAVE TOO AND BELIEVE
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PU$$Y
why is this stickyed
You little bltch
Look how lucky you have it, People in the the 3rd world real fvcked up problems.
Do they have a library to find out how not to have insane anxiety about not having food in their fvcking stomach. NO
Do they have internet. NO
I read your lame ass post.
Do you not have social anxiety? Yes
Did you find a support group? NO
Do you have a regular social group? NO
Do you have relationships where u reveal secrets? NO
Do you obsess about getting a girl thinking it will solve you all your problems? Yes
Did you reach goals at gym? NO
Did you have goals at gyn?NO
Do you have money for a personal trainer to motivate your pessimistic a$$? Yes
Dis u educate yourself about whatever your problem is and learned that a million other people went through it. NO
Your Not a fvcking special unique snow flake.
Did you do anything at all to change you fvcked up believe system? NO
Have you realized that the power of belief can take you anywhere? NO
Do you jack off to internet porn every night? Probably
Fvck you, I’ve had it ten time worst then your puck a$$ and million other had it ten times worst then me.
Options
Kill your self u pu$$y
SHUT THE **** UP and live in misery
DO WHAT U KNOW U HAVE TOO AND BELIEVE
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
PU$$Y
why is this stickyed
chancer357
Don Juan
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Whatever.
You called me a liar, asked what I did and I told you.
I_Only_Live_Once
Senior Don Juan
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- May 15, 2005
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You don't have a healthy outlook and positive attitude in life. If you don't think you can do something, then you probably can't. Your heart has to be in it. No one can give that to you except for you. You can go live your life with the attitude that you're worth it and you're going to make it happen by taking action, or you can live your life by focusing on why you're a failure and listing off excuses for how you've tried and how unfair you think the world is to you.
Instead of investing so much time in making online dating pages, invest more of your time in real life. When you get nervous, don't frame it that you want to avoid this feeling, but relish in it as something exciting. It's up to you on how you want to frame it. For example, many actors of stage or atheletes want to feel nervous and un-easy before doing it because that's when they know they are passionate and focused. This will be one of my last posts on sosuave, and all I can say is that time will keep on going whether you like it or not. It's up to you on what you want to do from now till then. Take accountibility of your own life. You have what you have because of choices you made; that other person has what they have because of choices they made. Stop focusing on what you believe is bad luck or whatever, excuses will lead you no where. You must believe in yourself and take action. To attain what you want in this world you almost always have to fail before succeeding, but in the end it will be worth it.
"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows"
-japanese proverb
Instead of investing so much time in making online dating pages, invest more of your time in real life. When you get nervous, don't frame it that you want to avoid this feeling, but relish in it as something exciting. It's up to you on how you want to frame it. For example, many actors of stage or atheletes want to feel nervous and un-easy before doing it because that's when they know they are passionate and focused. This will be one of my last posts on sosuave, and all I can say is that time will keep on going whether you like it or not. It's up to you on what you want to do from now till then. Take accountibility of your own life. You have what you have because of choices you made; that other person has what they have because of choices they made. Stop focusing on what you believe is bad luck or whatever, excuses will lead you no where. You must believe in yourself and take action. To attain what you want in this world you almost always have to fail before succeeding, but in the end it will be worth it.
"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows"
-japanese proverb
donjuanapprentice01
Senior Don Juan
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Hey Chancer
I can relate with you in a BIG way. Let me give you a bit of my story.
I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, every girl I have been interested in were only interested in being friends. The worst experience was 4 years ago with this chick who used her sexual power to use me. I was so AFC (and I will admit, I still am, but not as bad now), I would buy her gifts, giver her money (close to 5 grand over a period of 2 years, drove her to work, school etc... I finally got tired of her and told her to fvuck off.
However, this damaged me badly. I was depressed for a while and I told myself that getting a girl was not worth it, and I would not even bother trying. I had plenty of guy friends, but I accepted the fact that I wasn't going to score with a chick. I was incredibly happy with myself because I basically put getting a girl out of my mind. I was able to start my own business, as well as getting a decent job in a law office.
Unfortuately, another girl got my interest, and she is my interest right now. It just happened. I fell for her, big time. Well, she blew me off just a couple of weeks ago, the old LJBF's. This hurt, alot, because this girl is gold. She is everything I want in a girl, and I thought for sure I had her
So, I'm once again depressed. Because, I feel that, no matter what I do, I cannot attract any girl. That hurts. BIG TIME. What makes it worse in my case is thinking of her with some other guy, putting that picture in my mind makes me vomit because I KNOW I AM THE BEST GUY SHE COULD BE WITH. But, she doesn't see that, so, what can I do? We're still great friends, so I just hope that she will change her mind about me.
What I find depresses me the most is that these girls will not give me the chance. We all crave a relationship. When I go out and see these couples holding hands, I imagine me and my interest holding hands, and this hurts because I know it probably won't happen. I would be happier if me and a girl just TRIED a relationship, even for just a month or so, and then either one ended it because it wasn't working. At least we tried.
What I am saying is you just have to keep going. I just wanted you to know you are not the only one, and judging by your posts it seems your problem is the same as mine, although I can go out and talk to people, unfortunately women don't dig me.
I'm glad you got a good experience with the one girl. But please don't deceive yourself. I thought this one girl was interested in me, when it was totally not the case. Or, she was interested, but I was too AFC on her. Who knows? Even now, when I see her, I think there is a possibility, hell she grinded her leg on my **** at a club last weekend. But she rejected my kiss 3 weeks ago. Talk about confusing.
All I am saying is, you are not the only one with problems getting girls. And with me, it gets worse, because I realiz e time is ticking and I feel the prospects are dwindling.
I feel your pain man.
I can relate with you in a BIG way. Let me give you a bit of my story.
I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, every girl I have been interested in were only interested in being friends. The worst experience was 4 years ago with this chick who used her sexual power to use me. I was so AFC (and I will admit, I still am, but not as bad now), I would buy her gifts, giver her money (close to 5 grand over a period of 2 years, drove her to work, school etc... I finally got tired of her and told her to fvuck off.
However, this damaged me badly. I was depressed for a while and I told myself that getting a girl was not worth it, and I would not even bother trying. I had plenty of guy friends, but I accepted the fact that I wasn't going to score with a chick. I was incredibly happy with myself because I basically put getting a girl out of my mind. I was able to start my own business, as well as getting a decent job in a law office.
Unfortuately, another girl got my interest, and she is my interest right now. It just happened. I fell for her, big time. Well, she blew me off just a couple of weeks ago, the old LJBF's. This hurt, alot, because this girl is gold. She is everything I want in a girl, and I thought for sure I had her
So, I'm once again depressed. Because, I feel that, no matter what I do, I cannot attract any girl. That hurts. BIG TIME. What makes it worse in my case is thinking of her with some other guy, putting that picture in my mind makes me vomit because I KNOW I AM THE BEST GUY SHE COULD BE WITH. But, she doesn't see that, so, what can I do? We're still great friends, so I just hope that she will change her mind about me.
What I find depresses me the most is that these girls will not give me the chance. We all crave a relationship. When I go out and see these couples holding hands, I imagine me and my interest holding hands, and this hurts because I know it probably won't happen. I would be happier if me and a girl just TRIED a relationship, even for just a month or so, and then either one ended it because it wasn't working. At least we tried.
What I am saying is you just have to keep going. I just wanted you to know you are not the only one, and judging by your posts it seems your problem is the same as mine, although I can go out and talk to people, unfortunately women don't dig me.
I'm glad you got a good experience with the one girl. But please don't deceive yourself. I thought this one girl was interested in me, when it was totally not the case. Or, she was interested, but I was too AFC on her. Who knows? Even now, when I see her, I think there is a possibility, hell she grinded her leg on my **** at a club last weekend. But she rejected my kiss 3 weeks ago. Talk about confusing.
All I am saying is, you are not the only one with problems getting girls. And with me, it gets worse, because I realiz e time is ticking and I feel the prospects are dwindling.
I feel your pain man.
chancer357
Don Juan
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Its over a year and a half ago now since I opened this thread. I'm back on the east coast for the holiday and I can't sleep.
----
PAST:
Since last decemeber I went through quite a bit. A couple times I posted in bouts of depression, but this isn't one of those.
I'm sure it got drown out on the message board. In short, it involved quiting an unfullfiling good job at a big company, going into inpatient treatment for ED, moving back home for a while, leaving the east coast, getting another job (not so fullfilling either) at another company for more, and moving back out (obviously).
I made some good friends out there. I went on a couple dates with different people.
There was one girl during the summer who really helped me. She was cute, not one your guys hot chicks or anything. But I really liked her and mysteriously she liked me. We made out and that was about it, she had to go back to another state for school in the fall. Its a long and emotional story, but I was sad to see her go - and she had her own problems that would have made things not work out anyways.
I met this crazy woman who was a stripper, a drug dealer, junkie, mother, really fat - etc. That was from online somewhere. That was somewhat traumatic and I almost was like the hell with this.
I went out with another girl I met online. We talked a whole bunch through email and had a lot in common. Her picture was cute, but she was heavy when I met her. After knowing her a bit I suspected she had an eating disorder too, but the other extreme so we really wouldn't be a great match. Plus she was super self-conscous about her bosy and never wanted to take her coat off. After a couple dates I got tired of her acting wierd like that so we don't talk anymore these days.
Then I went out twice with a girl who was a little cuter who liked me, but who I found kind of annoying. I might have dinner with her again sometime. She called me to make a date one day but I didn't feel like listening to her complain about random things so I made some excuse up. I might try again sometime though.
Finally I met this girl who was probably the cutest one of all of them. Shes blonde and tall. My age, similar sense of humor. She really seemed to like me right from the start which kind of freaked me out. Shes pretty, but like a little bit out of shape - I have trouble with seeing my own body so when see I other people who are like a little flabby its hard to be attracted. Shes not fat, just not like a models body.
She is really nice and we hang out alot. She'll even stay over at my place sometimes. So thats totally different for me. I'm not a virgin any more.
So overall, thats kind of what happened since one year ago. I'd say it was probably better than the sum of all the years before it.
----
PRESENT:
I like this girl, but I'm not super excited. The girl I knew this summer was way more exciting even though we really only just kissed. Maybe because everything was so new. And that girl was really unpredictable. Like one day shes all ok with everything and the next day she'd want her space or think she had to end everything, then the next day she would pounce on me. It was crazy. I'm sure that would have made me nuts in the end; but I really did like her better I think. (I'm still friends and I think she'll be visiting my city/her family soon so I hope I'll see her then)
The blonde girl I'm dating right now I just don't feel as excited about.
Sex was OK, but it wasn't great - I probably thought it would be super awesome or something. But in general I just feel like "eh", I could do with it out and I really don't think I would even care. She seems to be all into it though. She did some oral stuff, but that really just kind of sucked - no pun intended. I dunno, maybe she doesn't do it right, who knows. (Shes been with a bunch of guys before though from whats shes said.)
I keep thinking of trying to just be friends with this girl. I don't want to hurt her and she just seems to get more and more attached. We exchanged gifts before I left and everything. Christmas didn't seem like a great time of year to tell someone something like that. We hung out the day before I left and the day before that; but even then I felt like I didn't want to be there.
So I'm not sure what to do now.
----
PAST:
Since last decemeber I went through quite a bit. A couple times I posted in bouts of depression, but this isn't one of those.
I'm sure it got drown out on the message board. In short, it involved quiting an unfullfiling good job at a big company, going into inpatient treatment for ED, moving back home for a while, leaving the east coast, getting another job (not so fullfilling either) at another company for more, and moving back out (obviously).
I made some good friends out there. I went on a couple dates with different people.
There was one girl during the summer who really helped me. She was cute, not one your guys hot chicks or anything. But I really liked her and mysteriously she liked me. We made out and that was about it, she had to go back to another state for school in the fall. Its a long and emotional story, but I was sad to see her go - and she had her own problems that would have made things not work out anyways.
I met this crazy woman who was a stripper, a drug dealer, junkie, mother, really fat - etc. That was from online somewhere. That was somewhat traumatic and I almost was like the hell with this.
I went out with another girl I met online. We talked a whole bunch through email and had a lot in common. Her picture was cute, but she was heavy when I met her. After knowing her a bit I suspected she had an eating disorder too, but the other extreme so we really wouldn't be a great match. Plus she was super self-conscous about her bosy and never wanted to take her coat off. After a couple dates I got tired of her acting wierd like that so we don't talk anymore these days.
Then I went out twice with a girl who was a little cuter who liked me, but who I found kind of annoying. I might have dinner with her again sometime. She called me to make a date one day but I didn't feel like listening to her complain about random things so I made some excuse up. I might try again sometime though.
Finally I met this girl who was probably the cutest one of all of them. Shes blonde and tall. My age, similar sense of humor. She really seemed to like me right from the start which kind of freaked me out. Shes pretty, but like a little bit out of shape - I have trouble with seeing my own body so when see I other people who are like a little flabby its hard to be attracted. Shes not fat, just not like a models body.
She is really nice and we hang out alot. She'll even stay over at my place sometimes. So thats totally different for me. I'm not a virgin any more.
So overall, thats kind of what happened since one year ago. I'd say it was probably better than the sum of all the years before it.
----
PRESENT:
I like this girl, but I'm not super excited. The girl I knew this summer was way more exciting even though we really only just kissed. Maybe because everything was so new. And that girl was really unpredictable. Like one day shes all ok with everything and the next day she'd want her space or think she had to end everything, then the next day she would pounce on me. It was crazy. I'm sure that would have made me nuts in the end; but I really did like her better I think. (I'm still friends and I think she'll be visiting my city/her family soon so I hope I'll see her then)
The blonde girl I'm dating right now I just don't feel as excited about.
Sex was OK, but it wasn't great - I probably thought it would be super awesome or something. But in general I just feel like "eh", I could do with it out and I really don't think I would even care. She seems to be all into it though. She did some oral stuff, but that really just kind of sucked - no pun intended. I dunno, maybe she doesn't do it right, who knows. (Shes been with a bunch of guys before though from whats shes said.)
I keep thinking of trying to just be friends with this girl. I don't want to hurt her and she just seems to get more and more attached. We exchanged gifts before I left and everything. Christmas didn't seem like a great time of year to tell someone something like that. We hung out the day before I left and the day before that; but even then I felt like I didn't want to be there.
So I'm not sure what to do now.
chancer357
Don Juan
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I still never was able to get match.com or yahoo to work. These were either people I met in person or on craigslist.
Heretolearn
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2005
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skipped over thread.
- girls DO NOT = happiness.
Find it in yourself my man. How?
Forget how, how is an excuse to not do anything.
JUST DO.
* You get what you TRULY want in this life!
- girls DO NOT = happiness.
Find it in yourself my man. How?
Forget how, how is an excuse to not do anything.
JUST DO.
* You get what you TRULY want in this life!
Golden Arms
Master Don Juan
WOW man; that's incredible. So are you still in Seattle and these are all the girls you met there ?
chancer357
Don Juan
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Yea, I'm still there & met them all there.
I never tried to do any of the 'techniques' or anything people talk about here to meet them. I wasn't even aggressive or anything. They kissed me first, so it made that part a bit easier.
I never tried to do any of the 'techniques' or anything people talk about here to meet them. I wasn't even aggressive or anything. They kissed me first, so it made that part a bit easier.
