24 yrs down the drain

[imaluvnit]

Well everyone I'm new to this forum and I thought it would a good place to start to get some advice. long story short, I was married 24 yrs, my wife lost some weight, found Facebook and all of her recently divorced girlfriends from her high school days, and the next thing I know she just left and never came back, gone for ever.

Anyway, since she left Ive been trying to get back into the dating pool but not having much luck. I'm 48 yrs old and keep myself in great shape and been told that I don't look my age, with all that being said, all the women that I meet in my age group seem to crazy and have lotsa baggage. I must have made a lot of mistakes for her to just run off and leave me so I'm here to try and learn what not to do. Thank's for letting me ramble on. I'm sure I can learn a few new things here to get what I want.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I'm 48 yrs old and keep myself in great shape and been told that I don't look my age, with all that being said, all the women that I meet in my age group seem to crazy and have lotsa baggage.

Well here is part of your problem: dating women your own age. Date younger, they tend to be less bitter.

I must have made a lot of mistakes for her to just run off and leave me so I'm here to try and learn what not to do. Thank's for letting me ramble on. I'm sure I can learn a few new things here to get what I want.

Maybe you did stuff wrong, maybe she was just a narcissistic beotch. We won't know until you post more details.

 

[imaluvnit]

I'm already feeling a bit better

I think your right about dating younger women I just seem to click better with them. And yes she lost weight, got 20 grand worth of surgery and just took off. The only thing I can say is yes she is a beotch and loves it and will never change. she now has a pretty wrapper but the candy is still no good.

 

[Warrior74]

Luthor Rex, love the quote you got there.

New guy, welcome man. Start dating women in their late 20's and early 30's you'll find a whole lot less baggage.

Do the following things immediately if you aren't doing them already.

-Hit the gym, determine if you are overweight or underweight and then bulk up or cut as appropriate. Working out makes you feel better, and gets your testosterone up.

-Dress well everyday, get a new hair cut, look good and feel good.

-Be thankful for the good things in your life

- Speak to people everywhere you go, the more comfortable you are talking to strangers the easier it is to meet women.

You may probably be doing all, so good luck and welcome to the forum.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

she now has a pretty wrapper but the candy is still no good

ROFL. Well put. Welcome.

 

[zekko]

Sometimes people just want or need a change, don't blame yourself too much, my brother. And list your age. If I can own up to being this old so can you.

 

[speakeasy]

While I understand why older guys want to date younger women, out of selfish interest, I don't like the idea. Because it just makes more competition for women in my age range. Guys my age want women around my age, guys that are older want women in my age, so that just makes these women in this age group think they are even more valuable.

 

[Slickster]

24 years of your life is NOT down the drain!

It just took 24 years for you to reach the next stage/step of your life.

It is up to you whether you want to make that next step better.

Finding this place is a good step forward.

If you stay positive and work at it you will look back at those past 24 years and be grateful that the b!tch left.

This is only the beginning.

Good luck! :yes:

 

[imaluvnit]

Thank's guy's for all your reply's. I am doing a lot of the things that I think I need to do such as hittin the gym a lot, dressing well, talking to as many women as possible, maybe I'm trying to hard. I have had a number of people (mostly women) telling me that I should date people my own age, but a lot of the women I meet at my age (48) seem to be wanna be teenagers,they come off as trying to hard to show how young they can (act) but in reality they look kinda stupid.

This is only an observation but so far a lot of the women that I have come across with the bolt ons, tummy tucks and and whatever else they can pay to get fixed seem to feel that since they had all this work done that they are entitled to everything WTF, and the comment that was made about younger women be less bitter is definetley true. I want give myself a complete overhaul and change the way I approach the whole dating thing, so I will keep reading as much info as possible, I'm sure hopefully sooner than later it will payoff.

 

[imaluvnit]

Man I love this site, make's me feel like I'm gonna accomplish what I want. I really enjoy everyone's input. you guys' keep putti'n out the info and I try it out in the field, and I'm ready for some good stuff to happen.

 

[white sox bill]

Welcome aboard thy Brother. Welcome to the nuthouse

Put your own filter on advice here. For the most part, its right on. You will recover and down the road you will wonder why you wasted all those yrs with same bimbo.

Ncie to see another one my age. I'm ex Redondo Beach man myself although long ago.

Yes dating younger ones will net you less bitterness. But at times they do have drawbacks. And they take a type of skill from someone our age as you are competing with a lot of guys. In the Midwest, its a bit harder dating 20 yrs younger as the conservative nature. But West Coast should be fine.

Happy hunting!

 

[Warrior74]

While I understand why older guys want to date younger women, out of selfish interest, I don't like the idea. Because it just makes more competition for women in my age range. Guys my age want women around my age, guys that are older want women in my age, so that just makes these women in this age group think they are even more valuable.

like some cheese with that whine bro? I don't want women in my age range. They have just as many issues to me as this guy has with women in his age range. Women younger than you tend to have less issues than people in your age group. Just the way of the world. The 24 year olds have trival issues compared to the 35 year olds I know. Savvy?

 

[jophil28]

I think your right about dating younger women I just seem to click better with them. And yes she lost weight, got 20 grand worth of surgery and just took off. The only thing I can say is yes she is a beotch and loves it and will never change. she now has a pretty wrapper but the candy is still no good.

Did you pay for the surgery ? Didn't you 'get' what she was planning ? Losing a lot of weight and having $20K's worth of surgery does not happen overnight.

 

[jophil28]

While I understand why older guys want to date younger women, out of selfish interest, I don't like the idea. Because it just makes more competition for women in my age range. Guys my age want women around my age, guys that are older want women in my age, so that just makes these women in this age group think they are even more valuable.

Competition is a fact of life. However if they turn out to be bad prospects we will toss 'em back at ya.

 

[imaluvnit]

As for paying for the surgery HELL no I did'nt, one night we came home from the gym and she say's to me, oh by the way in 2 day's I'm getting all this surgery done it won't cost you a dime. Needless to say I'm like WTF? She had the surgery done and then went to her mothers house to stay and told me she was never coming home again, and again I'm like WTF? When I realized that she was'nt coming home, I served her with papers, her surgery was her F@#k U to me, so F@#k U to her was serving her first, it was hard but I had to do it, I'm having a hard time dealing with it, but it is start.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Guys my age want women around my age,

No I don't! You can keep 'em buddy!

lol

 

[jophil28]

As for paying for the surgery HELL no I did'nt, one night we came home from the gym and she say's to me, oh by the way in 2 day's I'm getting all this surgery done it won't cost you a dime. Needless to say I'm like WTF? She had the surgery done and then went to her mothers house to stay and told me she was never coming home again, and again I'm like WTF? When I realized that she was'nt coming home, I served her with papers, her surgery was her F@#k U to me, so F@#k U to her was serving her first, it was hard but I had to do it, I'm having a hard time dealing with it, but it is start.

Congrats on serving her the papers. A lot of guys would have begged and pleaded her to 'reconsider' ...

Obviously she had the surgery booked for some time before she told you. Her surgery was part of her planned attempt to repackage herself before she placed herself back on the market.
Leaving a husband of 24 years does not 'just happen', usually. Sure, she might be listening to her bitter divorced g/friends from h/s , however women usually take a few years of unhappiness ( real or imagined) before they bail on an LTR of 20 some odd years.

Perhaps you might like to post some of the back story.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

24 years down the drain, or exodus from a 24 year prison sentence...it's all in your head.

 

[imaluvnit]

Here go's, a little back history. She has always dealt with depression, on and off meds for the last 24 yrs. In the last 2 years she had lost 50+ lbs, Now how she did it, I must mention that she always said that I was unsupportive. Here go's, we took 4 cycling/spin classes a week which 3 of them I teach, I also do all the cooking so I make everything super low fat high in protein and in low carbs, I also taught her how to workout with weights and she also did weight watchers. Ok I can here it now!!!! I built a monster. Maybe so but I thought that was what a husband is supposed to do. I can already here the comments coming!!! I'm ready and won't be offended. During all the transformation happening she became a Facebook addict, she started connecting with all her old high school friends. Needless to say her close circle of women friends had all been making the same transformation, and how do I know because I met all of them and I thought oh ****, they are going to have a lot of influence on her because it's all new and exciting.She said I was being controlling by not wanting her to go out doing things with single women why she is a married women. I could be wrong but I don't think recently divorced women are going to say hey I know your married so we'll do our thing and you can watch and see how much fun were having. Anyway this is just a little history of the last couple of years, but I would be more than willing to share other possible red flags if it can help anybody. I'm by no means innocent or stupid I just made some mistakes and wish I had the knowledge to handle my sh$t better, I would never wish this on anyone, I just hope I can get past it and find a women that can appreciate what I have to offer. Thank's once again everyone I must never stop learning.

 

[imaluvnit]

I would like to retract that statement about what I have to offer, I'm thinking what the hell is it that she can bring to the table, ( the new women) at least I trying to catch my mistakes, Keep it coming " the lessons" I'm willing and ready to whoop some ***** ass.