21 and never kissed a girl

[pete101]

Alright, so I just turned 21 and I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, and never had sex. I am possibly the biggest noob on here.

It finally hit me in late 2009 when I was living by myself in Costa Rica. All the loneliness and anger had built up inside of me. I made a vow that when I came back to California I would finally get a girlfriend. I went to a lot of parties, met girls, but just ended up becoming friends with them. Then in August of 2010 I started reading about Don Juans, pick up artists, how to read body language, etc. It helped a little, it boosted my confidence, but I didn't have a full grasp of it and how to use it.

Then in January when the new school semester started I went all out. I talked to almost every girl in my class, got 10 phone numbers (a huge accomplishment for me), went on a couple dates, but nothing happened. I had girls sitting around me in one class yet I still couldn't seal the deal. I got responses like, "Sorry, I'm busy that night" whenever I called them.

That was my peak right there. I was even giving my friends advice on women (and it worked for them!) and telling them to start reading about this stuff. I was so sure I was going to have at least kissed a girl by summer, but it didn't happen. So now here I am and it's summer and it's harder for me to meet girls. And on top of that I had a falling out with a few friends, one of them became an alcoholic, and one moved. So now I hardly have any contact with my friends or girls.

It's hard to have confidence at this point. I can't just go to a club and hit on girls. Maybe if I was good at this stuff and had more experience I could.

Anyways, so bottom line is: what the HELL am I doing wrong? Was anyone else here this late of a bloomer? I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, probably a 7. I am in good shape, I have a six pack, I am a risk taker. (I can post pictures of myself if you guys want, so at least you can see that I'm not some 3 whining about why I can't get an 8). I can't exactly see why girls aren't attracted to me. My inner game is pretty solid; the only thing weighing me down is knowing that I have never had a girlfriend. I feel like 50% of a man if I think about it too much. My downfall is that I think about things too much, I'm into philosophy and I'm a Literature major.

I've been a member of this site for a little while and it has benefited me greatly. You guys give some great advice. I just can't seal the deal. It's extremely frustrating.

It would be hard for me to post all my experiences with women on here. If you have a guess on what I'm doing wrong please let me know. I need some serious help.

Thanks. Forever alone.

you're putting too much emphasis on kissing a girl and not having a gf, it's playing on your mind and your confidence.

my suggestion?

sit back and relax and try to put that aspect to the back of your mind, and focus on learning to build interest. take baby steps, re-evaluate each pick up attempt and how you can improve on the last one.

kissing is overrated anyway, getting sex, BJ etc isn't, it feels awesome so look at that as the end goal.

also logistics make a huge difference. do you have a free house or a place to be where you can bring her back whatever time of the day to fvck?

i used to live on campus and had my own room, i would bring girls back to my room during the day time some what tricking them 'come check my dorms/room/accommodation out' it was small so nowhere to sit but on my bed, then escalate. 9/10 i would get at least a BJ.

don't even try to kiss her lips, kiss her neck.. that's a much quicker way to getting her into bed, i cant count how many times i've never actually kissed a girl, but kissed her neck and it lead on to sex.

 

[snowdog]

The links don't work anymore because I took the advice of someone on this forum and took them down. Basically, he said it's not a good idea to post pics on this site and that they could come back to haunt me later. With this post hitting about 1,300 views I'd say it was a good call to take them down.

Wise choice, man. The Internet can ruin a lot of things.

I am not taking sides on the looks debate... at least I don't want to. But for the most part I do agree with you snowdog. (I posted the pics so the people who are all about "looks" would also feel confident giving me input).

I am a skinny guy, and I would like to be bigger. Which is why I have been lifting since I was 14. I started getting coached by my friend who bench presses 370 lbs, it made me stronger and changed my perspective on working out, yet I am still skinny... but toned and in good shape. It's all about my metabolism, it's too fast. Nonetheless, it is more for my own confidence. At clubs I see guys that are short and flabby grinding up 8s and 9s all the time.

Well yea, it's always good to keep moving and it's a nice confidence booster to know that you're not bad looking. But that's a small portion of it all.

If you got game, it doesn't really matter what you look like. Chicks don't care that much about your biceps and ****. They aren't as shallow as we are, lol.

Don't listen to people who say looks don't matter. They do. If you have any female friends they'll tell you. But they'll also tell you that uglier guys can improve their appeal if they dress correctly and have an engaging personality. You may not have the quantity of chicks of good looking guys but you can match their quality chicks.

Female friends are the last place you should go for if you need advice.

Looks, don't, matter. You ever saw what that guy who calls himself Tyler Durden looks like? He's not a good looking dude and on top of that a ginger. When he started to get good this thing he was a fat slob wearing band shirts and still he hauled mega hot chicks out of clubs like it was nothing.

There are examples all over the place of out of shape ugly dudes who are amazing at scoring chicks.

 

[snowdog]

First, thanks for owning up to the name calling( Yes, I'm being sarcastic). I think that says alot about your character that you didn't.

The reason I ignored your whining, is that it wouldn't contribute anything to the discussion. You're nothing but a punk to me and I really don't give a **** about what you have to say to me. So there's your explanation.

In your arguments against my opinions, you somehow managed to plug in the idea that my concept of physical self improvement is devoid of "game", "inner confidence", .........whatever you want to call it. You presented some kind of example of a skinny guy with game is more effective than a superfit handsome guy with no game. Where did I say that one doesn't need confidence in talking with a chick ?

I used that extreme example to make clear what I was talking about.

I don't care what you say, you'll never convince me that polishing up the physical package is a bad idea.

Sure it's not a bad idea, but it's not gonna help you score with chicks.

If I'm not mistaken, the idea is to bang women, which means that you will be getting physical with them. I don't care if some hairy, ungroomed dude is able to act like a pimp in a drunken nightclub, what's important is what happens after closing time.

What's your point? You're weird, guy.

Finally, there is no correlation between being well groomed and polished and physical toughness. In fact, if you think about the military, including WW2, there is a huge emphasis on keeping everything sharp and clean (weapons, uniforms, ect...) It has to do with discipline.
Muhammed Ali was extremely well groomed, went around calling himself pretty, and wore expensive, tailored clothes.
He stepped into the ring with two of the scariest fighters at the time (Sonny Liston and George Foreman....G.Foreman had even totally kicked ass on guys that had kicked Ali's ass). Ali beat them both. So you see, it doesn't matter if a dude is metrosexual or not.....Badass comes in all packages. Some guys are, some guys aren't.
The O.P. wanted advice. I gave hime mine. He had a silly haircut and I told him how to look a little more masculine with his hair. Your argument is that some guys don't give a crap about their appearance and this F%$ it attitude applied to gaming chicks is a sign of confidence which translates into success. My arugument is that the physical development of the man goes hand in hand with the mental gaming of chicks and in no way detracts from this gaming, but rather it augments it. You took this argument of mine and modified it to me saying that it's only about the physical presentation.

lmao, here we go.

You're clearly insecure as **** and using your 'looks' to cover it up. The fact that you get all upset and write a huge rant like this says enough to me. I don't say that to be an ass-hole, but more like a reality check for you. *****es don't care about a ****ing haircut. They care if you're interesting, confident and fun. End of story.

 

[BigJimbo]

Dude, when you are 50 and never kissed a girl let me know. You will be in good hands with me.

http://www.loveme.com/tour/photos/Ukraine-Women-July-2010/images/Ukraine_July_2010_178.jpg
We do BAD THINGS to ****blockers in Ukraine. :box:

Guys...Study Russian. Trust me. You will have SO many new friends on vkontakte and bigmir. Geez.

 

[FairShake]

Female friends are the last place you should go for if you need advice.

That's your first problem. That's probably why you believe the things you do. You don't know the dozens of women I know fvcking dudes because of the way they look despite their having the personality of a marshmellow.

Looks, don't, matter. You ever saw what that guy who calls himself Tyler Durden looks like? He's not a good looking dude and on top of that a ginger.

I never saw him. Now I have. He's a good looking guy. Bad example.

There are examples all over the place of out of shape ugly dudes who are amazing at scoring chicks.

And there are, of course, millions more examples of fat ugly guys who aren't.

 

[MaxLove]

It's all about your inner game, and your world view. Looks and appearances come AFTER.

Develop your world view, and your strong sense of self. What makes you unique, what makes you different? Do you do anything that requires you to face fear and smack it in the face?

I train in MMA. And the epiphany came for me when I realize, hey, I can face a guy trying to take my head off, while calmly dismantling him, what do I have to fear of a haughty *****? What's the worst she can do? Reject you? Is that worse than taking a punch to the face?

It's the same thing when it comes to fighting. Those inexperienced with fighting are afraid of getting hit. It scares them just as the idea of hitting someone else. But once you have done it many times, and realizing that controlling your fear and calmly facing your adversary is the only way to improve your situation, you will not let fear stand in your way. Same thing with women. Let yourself fail. Let yourself feel rejection. Then calmly shrug it off and launch your next attack.

Find your mental clutch. When you feel yourself floundering and wavering in your head, hold on to that clutch. Remind yourself why there's no reason to fear.

 

[snowdog]

^This guy MaxLove understands what's up.

That's your first problem. That's probably why you believe the things you do. You don't know the dozens of women I know fvcking dudes because of the way they look despite their having the personality of a marshmellow.

There aren't many of them. While they may lack a personality, they probably have good game.

I never saw him. Now I have. He's a good looking guy. Bad example.

I'm not talking about this guy; that's Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club. But this dude

And there are, of course, millions more examples of fat ugly guys who aren't.

True, but you could remove "fat" and "ugly" from that sentence and replace it with "handsome" it will still be as true.

 

[Rubirosa]

The reason I ignored your whining, is that it wouldn't contribute anything to the discussion. You're nothing but a punk to me and I really don't give a **** about what you have to say to me. So there's your explanation.



I used that extreme example to make clear what I was talking about.



Sure it's not a bad idea, but it's not gonna help you score with chicks.



What's your point? You're weird, guy.



lmao, here we go.

You're clearly insecure as **** and using your 'looks' to cover it up. The fact that you get all upset and write a huge rant like this says enough to me. I don't say that to be an ass-hole, but more like a reality check for you. *****es don't care about a ****ing haircut. They care if you're interesting, confident and fun. End of story.

I don't know what's worse; Your reading comprehension or your maturity level, but I got better things to do than listen to an internet tough guy who thinks he's now a man because he just got his cherry popped.

 

[snowdog]

I don't know what's worse; Your reading comprehension or your maturity level, but I got better things to do than listen to an internet tough guy who thinks he's now a man because he just got his cherry popped.

Whatever, punk.

 

[Groovy]

I don't know what's worse; Your reading comprehension or your maturity level, but I got better things to do than listen to an internet tough guy who thinks he's now a man because he just got his cherry popped.

hahaha

lmaoooooooooo

lmao

Ok, seriously now, snowdog you make a good point. Thanks man. We all pretty much got it after the first post tho. I feel bad for you... You are also being annoying as heck man, can't you see that? Please stop acting like a total jerk-off.

Rubirosa is 45 years old, he knows more about this that you think he does.

 

[FairShake]

True, but you could remove "fat" and "ugly" from that sentence and replace it with "handsome" it will still be as true.

No it won't. There are handsome guys who are not getting laid sure, but not NEARLY to the point that fat and ugly guys are. Not even close!

And when Tyler Durden looks like this:

http://pualib.com/images/pua-master...rtists-The-One-Tyler-Durden-TwentySix-l01.jpg

He's significantly better looking than me at least!

 

[Gray The Prince]

I don't know what's worse; Your reading comprehension or your maturity level, but I got better things to do than listen to an internet tough guy who thinks he's now a man because he just got his cherry popped.

Loooooool

 

[snowdog]

Alright whatever, you guys figure it out. Just keep hoping for that miracle to come falling out of the sky.

By the way, I think it's funny that I actually have haters now. Losers, haha.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Alright whatever, you guys figure it out. Just keep hoping for that miracle to come falling out of the sky.

By the way, I think it's funny that I actually have haters now. Losers, haha.

Yep you mad.

 

[OC Speedball]

This is why I didn't want this to turn into a looks vs. game debate. It's like politics, no one ever wins and it always gets dirty...

 

[Konada]

Some of you are taking things too extreme here... What I believe is that looking good helps to establish your confidence without even speaking. It tells people you take pride in yourself and would not stand for any kind of shvt. Ultimately what you need to pull chicks is solid inner game. That being said, making yourself look good can help you pull hotter chicks with your current inner game.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Looks do matter. If you say looks plays no part then your really stupid.

You also need inner game and this is very important. OC you need to concentrate on finding the mack inside. Go out in the field and just observe women and interact with him. Hell.. even go for broke a few times. You must have the f*ck it mentality. Thats the mentality I have and it works alot for me.... I've been turned down before but I could care less because for every girl that's dissed me theres been a girl that wanted to sleep with me.

 

[TheJazz]

All this advice is well and good mate, but at the end of the day, WOMEN are attracted to MEN. That's it. Picture an ugly fat hag with acne and messed up hair. Is she a woman? I think not. Similarly, there can be the hottest little thing who belches loud, does chest bumps, smokes, drinks beer & screams at the TV when monday night football is on. Is she a woman? No. Read Pook's Be a Man and actually Be a Man. The chicks will come.

 

[snowdog]

Yep you mad.

No, just sad. For you guys. You're focusing on the wrong things, that's all I'm saying.

I used to be a fan.

I think that's the first time someone ever said that to me.