21 and never kissed a girl

[Andy_Dufresne]

I saw the pics. You're a good looking guy, but cut your hair more on the sides (Over the ears and grow a little bit of sideburn...keep the rest the same length, but gel it up a bit and make your head look more square. Trust me, I'm just good at this....all of my girlfriends have always been amazed w/ my appearence advice for them).
Go to a drunken party, pick a fat girl and plant a kiss on her. Boom ! You'll have the first kiss stigma out of the way. Getting rid of this stigma will increase your confidence to go out there and try it again....and yes, you can upgrade in the looks dept. the 2nd time.
Never NEVER NEVER ask a girl permission to kiss her. NEVER. Just do it when you feel the time's right. If it's not welcome, she'll turn her head and give her cheek. If this happens, don't freak out and act hurt, rejected, sad....etc......
There have been numerous times when I've been given the cheek and I just shrugged my shoulders and kept talking like nothing happened, and by the end of the date their tounges were down my throat.

Bump, see above

OC, you got it goin on, having the read the string here you just have fear of rejection. Girls size you up amazingly fast, they decide within 5 minutes whether they're going to make out with you or not. So call them on it. Why waste your time and theirs?

I would recommend two things: Work on your fear, and observe and mimic guys who are ridiculously great with women - observe dress, body language, etc.

 

[LiveFreeX]

1. Read the DJ Bible

2. Move to China and teach English.

Nothing else is required.

 

[Konada]

Pretty decent looking. Hit the gym, pack on more muscles. I'd bet that will bring you up a point or so.

 

[irocknike23]

easiest way to kiss a girl is keep going to parties and find the drunk ones....they will make out with anybody and I mean anybody..

 

[OC Speedball]

Ok, so from what you guys are saying I should focus on two things:

1) Change my style and haircut.

My hair isn't good, I know. I cut it myself, so it just ends up looking whatever. When I had hair down to my shoulders I used to pay $60 to get it cut, but now I'm not as serious about it. I was recently told by my aunt that I need to stop wearing t-shirts all the time; I guess you guys kinda noticed that too. I mainly go for hipster girls.

2) Get over my fear of rejection.

This is definitely my weakness. I thought my inner-game was pretty good, but I think knowing that I've never been with a girl chokes me up when talking to them. I'll work on it.


And I've been lifting heavy weights recently. I am a skinny guy, but low on body fat. I'm a hard gainer so it's a challenge for me to build muscle. I would love to be around 190 lbs.

Thanks for the input

 

[bean]

Lol maybe I'm missing a joke but you don't need to go overseas to pick up girls.




Did ever try talking to all of these girls that you're friends with? Talk to them and ask for advice. Get a different perspective on things. It can't hurt and if they're really your friends then they'll help you out.

 

[Rubirosa]

Lol maybe I'm missing a joke but you don't need to go overseas to pick up girls.




Did ever try talking to all of these girls that you're friends with? Talk to them and ask for advice. Get a different perspective on things. It can't hurt and if they're really your friends then they'll help you out.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a guy, never go to women for relationship advice. They have trouble enough verbalizing what they want for themselves in terms of a relationship. If the O.P. goes to them, the only thing the chicks will hear is "Bla, Bla, Bla--I'm too insecure to kiss a girl,.. help me...Bla, Bla, Bla,"
Then, they will go around speading the O.P.'s insecurity as a conversation topic.
No it's much better for the O.P. to Man Up, get some experience under his belt, then go around and bang chicks and build a rep that that these friends who rejected him will hear about through the grapevine

 

[Serg897]

Look, its not your fault. From reading what you wrote I can tell you're a better person than most women.

It is a societal issue. You know things are bad when men can be alone so easily against their will, while women can be in a relationship anytime like it's nothing. It's not fair and there are many reasons for it. I'd say one of the biggest reasons is obesisty and it's effect on the pool of attractive women.

In the dating ages there are more men than women...but when you filter out all the fat, unhealthy women (most women according to stats) the pool of women gets even smaller and suddenly a 7 who stated thin is a mini celebrity and a god amoung insects.

Those girls that flaked on you and seemed out of your reach probably still thought you were good enough for them. Problem is, you were competing with 7-8 other guys and someone else beat you out for it. It's a losing battle from the get-go.

You've worked on your game. You've overcome approach anxiety. You are a literate,intelligent man. You have a 6 pack and stay healthy. You are going to college and doing something with your life. Yet, you're alone. This is a societal issue. There is no, "oh, your body language lacks plus you aren't doing pua technique #37".

It shouldn't take all that to get a decent hb8 gf. Some of you clearly think so but not me. Society is to blame. Women have been put on a pedastol higher than ever before in history. And the value of young men (13-29) has never been lower.

No amount of game or body language will improve your odds, you've done more than enough already. The problem isn't game the problem is high demand for average pvssy. The problem is the 8 other dudes you must compete with for one girl who is no where close to being worthy of that attention.

My post offers no solutions other than to say get your education and go overseas to a non westernized country to get a woman.

Men are not wanted here. We are just tolerated by stuck up women. You mentioned getting 10 numbers once. Well sadly all ten of those girls were hiton multiple times by multiple different guys in multiple different environments that same week. You were just guy #12 for the day that fed her ego.

This post is sad, but Im afraid its problably true. The odds are stacked against you as a dude, yet if you are a woman is it so incredibly easy to get laid. They get approached non-stop all day and they essentially can take their pick from the multitude of guys making themselves available. You have to be an extremely good looking guy to consistently get laid, otherwise you will be met with rejection most of the time. You just have to live life, take oppurtunities as they come, and most important of all be content as a single man.

 

[snowdog]

First of all, f*ck all those ass-holes who tell you you need a wardrobe, a new hairstyle, bigger muscles or a new look. They don't know what they're talking about and are steering you in the worst direction I can think of. Those picture links you posted don't work but that doesn't matter, because the way you look doesn't mean sh*t. Of course, you shouldn't be a fat slob or have bad hygene or something, but that's common sense. Basically, unless you look like that little **** from the Lord of the Rings, you're fine.

It's all about how you carry yourself. That's the only thing that matters. The rest is less than 1%.

Now I don't know you, but this is what I get out of your posts:

• You're a smart dude in college. That seperates you from the majority already.
• You are in good shape
• People posted here you are a good looking guy

Unless you got a swastika tattoo on your face, you should be fine.

But here's your problem:

I am possibly the biggest noob on here.

I'm probably a 7

I feel like 50% of a man

Thanks. Forever alone.

Your self-confidence sucks, and that ruins everything, no matter what you have going for you.

If you can't stay in touch with friends, make new ones. I studied abroad for half a year on the other side of the world and I went all by my self. The first thing I did was talking to everyone around me in class and go to bars and hang out with new people. Most of them didn't turn into friends, but the ones that did will be friends forever. You got to be willing to put yourself out there.

Are you a social person? Like, do you talk to people easily? If you can't, start practicing on random people when you're standing in line or waiting for the bus. If you're afraid to be judged, go to a karaoke bar and sing your lungs out in front of a bunch of unknown people who can reject the **** out of you. That's a great confidence booster and it's really fun. I'm serious, go sing karaoke. I'll guarantee you, you'll feel like a rock star after you get off that stage, no matter if you sucked.

You got to face your fears, it's the only way to go through it. I used to be like you. I could hang out with girls, but nothing ever happened. I know how frustrating it is and how crazy it can drive you. But you gotta take the risks man. You got to at least try to get a make-out. Who gives a sh*t if she rejects you. Nothing bad will happen to you. At least you tried , and that alone puts you in a completely different ****ing galaxy than you're in now.

I've probably been rejected more than a thousand times (I'm serious) and in the beginning it was horrible. I literally cried about that **** afterwards sometimes when I was lying alone in my bed. You got to be willing to take that punch, and it'll really suck in the beginning.

It's a numbers game. You will get rejected more than you will score, get that in your mind right now. Go for it, don't give a **** about what's going to happen and be blunt. You're not gonna die if she rejects you. It's just a chick.

And don't aim so hard core for a girlfriend. You want it too much. You should have the attitude that says: "This girl looks cute. Let's find out what she's like. Maybe we can hang out, and who knows what'll happen". And STOP your thought process after that.

Changing is hard, man. But if you have the willpower, you will get there and it will change you forever. It is amazing and I have never regretted all the time I put in getting my **** together.

Btw, I got my first kiss when I was 19 from an ugly chick, my second one when I was 21 from a drunk ugly chick, got a ton more when I was 23 from a lot of hot ones and got laid when I was 24. There you go. Being a late bloomer doesn't matter, that is, if you're willing to take care of business.



Ps, check out my super tips.

 

[snowdog]

You have to be an extremely good looking guy to consistently get laid, otherwise you will be met with rejection most of the time. You just have to live life, take oppurtunities as they come, and most important of all be content as a single man.

This is 100% horse-sh*t and it depresses me to read this. I'm not saying you're a loser, but you have a loser mind-set. You shouldn't be satisfied with this kind of life as a guy. Aim for the ****ing stars, man.

Looks don't matter. The only thing they help with is making it easier to open a girl, after that, all you can rely on is your personality.

 

[ohnoes]

Alright, so I just turned 21 and I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, and never had sex. I am possibly the biggest noob on here.

It finally hit me in late 2009 when I was living by myself in Costa Rica. All the loneliness and anger had built up inside of me. I made a vow that when I came back to California I would finally get a girlfriend. I went to a lot of parties, met girls, but just ended up becoming friends with them. Then in August of 2010 I started reading about Don Juans, pick up artists, how to read body language, etc. It helped a little, it boosted my confidence, but I didn't have a full grasp of it and how to use it.

Then in January when the new school semester started I went all out. I talked to almost every girl in my class, got 10 phone numbers (a huge accomplishment for me), went on a couple dates, but nothing happened. I had girls sitting around me in one class yet I still couldn't seal the deal. I got responses like, "Sorry, I'm busy that night" whenever I called them.

That was my peak right there. I was even giving my friends advice on women (and it worked for them!) and telling them to start reading about this stuff. I was so sure I was going to have at least kissed a girl by summer, but it didn't happen. So now here I am and it's summer and it's harder for me to meet girls. And on top of that I had a falling out with a few friends, one of them became an alcoholic, and one moved. So now I hardly have any contact with my friends or girls.

It's hard to have confidence at this point. I can't just go to a club and hit on girls. Maybe if I was good at this stuff and had more experience I could.

Anyways, so bottom line is: what the HELL am I doing wrong? Was anyone else here this late of a bloomer? I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, probably a 7. I am in good shape, I have a six pack, I am a risk taker. (I can post pictures of myself if you guys want, so at least you can see that I'm not some 3 whining about why I can't get an 8). I can't exactly see why girls aren't attracted to me. My inner game is pretty solid; the only thing weighing me down is knowing that I have never had a girlfriend. I feel like 50% of a man if I think about it too much. My downfall is that I think about things too much, I'm into philosophy and I'm a Literature major.

I've been a member of this site for a little while and it has benefited me greatly. You guys give some great advice. I just can't seal the deal. It's extremely frustrating.

It would be hard for me to post all my experiences with women on here. If you have a guess on what I'm doing wrong please let me know. I need some serious help.

Thanks. Forever alone.

Get em smiling and laughing, touch them, massage them. Be bold you only live once. You must define the line between friend and lover. Look at it like it is a game man. You gotta test the damn boundaries. Look them in their eyes and as you close your eyes move in and give her a smooch.

SIMPLE try it.
You might fail a few times then again you might not at all, but sometimes you have to fail to succeed. Don't let your ego get in your way.

In the end, you have either successfully attracted the girl or you haven't. If you have attracted her, she will be receptive. The learning curve is knowing when you have attracted her enough and you can escalate into a kiss. Either way failure or success you learn so go out this weekend and give a girl a kiss.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

First rule of the mack game is to have confidence. Don't say you can't get girls if you have no confidence because that is common sence.

 

[Rubirosa]

First of all, f*ck all those ass-holes who tell you you need a wardrobe, a new hairstyle, bigger muscles or a new look. They don't know what they're talking about and are steering you in the worst direction I can think of. Those picture links you posted don't work but that doesn't matter, because the way you look doesn't mean sh*t. Of course, you shouldn't be a fat slob or have bad hygene or something, but that's common sense. Basically, unless you look like that little **** from the Lord of the Rings, you're fine.



Btw, I got my first kiss when I was 19 from an ugly chick, my second one when I was 21 from a drunk ugly chick, got a ton more when I was 23 from a lot of hot ones and got laid when I was 24. There you go. Being a late bloomer doesn't matter, that is, if you're willing to take care of business.



Ps, check out my super tips.

Hey A$$hole (How do you like it ?)
In a public forum, there's going to be disagreements. But arriving late to the party and then calling everyone there an a$$hole simply because you disagree with their opinion makes you look bad.
The guy posted a picture of himself. People took the time to offer their opinion with the underlying intent of improving the guy's looks.
I, for one suggested a new haircut. I did not say,"Follow my haircut advice and women will now start spreading their legs for you !"
But, maybe if he improved his appearance just a tad, and then got a smile in the street from a chick that might not have smiled at him before, his confidence would skyrocket.
The dude is skinny. Chicks like muscles. It's a biological reaction on their part. The guy doesn't need to look like a roid monster, but some bicep muscle under his t-shirt would help.
Ever heard of the compound therory ? It's basically the idea that if you keep adding and adding little things, eventually, over time, the result will be large. In other words, a haircut here, a tan there, a muscle here, an attitude there....It all adds up to the big picture of confidence.
You could have the best looking, PUA therory guy, walk up to chick and go off, but if his breath smelled like he hadn't brushed for a week, he would fail. His package was not complete.
I am simply telling the guy to work on completing his package, which will in turn, increase his confidence.
I left the part of your quote about the drunk girl because myself and a few other "a$$holes" had already given him the same advice route.
Finally, I like alot of what you said, I just didn't like being insulted for trying to help out someone who was reaching out for help.

 

[Serg897]

This is 100% horse-sh*t and it depresses me to read this. I'm not saying you're a loser, but you have a loser mind-set. You shouldn't be satisfied with this kind of life as a guy. Aim for the ****ing stars, man.

Looks don't matter. The only thing they help with is making it easier to open a girl, after that, all you can rely on is your personality.

Your point is well taken. I've been in a slump the past few months, and I guess its caused me to feel more down in the dumps than usual. It is true that your mindset means a lot to your success.

Yet, I think the fact remains that women DO have an advantage these days. You have to be willing to play the numbers game hardcore in order to find a woman that will be interested in you. This isn't hard, it just takes a bit of effort.

 

[snowdog]

The guy posted a picture of himself. People took the time to offer their opinion with the underlying intent of improving the guy's looks.
I, for one suggested a new haircut. I did not say,"Follow my haircut advice and women will now start spreading their legs for you !"
But, maybe if he improved his appearance just a tad, and then got a smile in the street from a chick that might not have smiled at him before, his confidence would skyrocket.
The dude is skinny. Chicks like muscles. It's a biological reaction on their part. The guy doesn't need to look like a roid monster, but some bicep muscle under his t-shirt would help.
Ever heard of the compound therory ? It's basically the idea that if you keep adding and adding little things, eventually, over time, the result will be large. In other words, a haircut here, a tan there, a muscle here, an attitude there....It all adds up to the big picture of confidence.

Dude, that's bolony. A skinny, ugly dude with game, would be way way way better than a super fit handsome guy who's insecure. There are a ton of guys out there that go to the gym, actually pay attention for more than one minute a day to their hair and get an artificial tan. That's just covering up your weakness. It's like ugly chicks who wear a ton of make-up. From a distance it looks alright, but when you get close you'll be like **** NO.

The guy should work on his game, because that's the only thing that's gonna help him further. Not getting bigger biceps.

You could have the best looking, PUA therory guy, walk up to chick and go off, but if his breath smelled like he hadn't brushed for a week, he would fail. His package was not complete.

That's not true. A friend of mine is a downright ugly dude but he just doesn't give a f*ck about anything. He goes to the club in a $5 white t-shirt with his armpit hair sticking out of the sleeves after he ate a hamburger with onions and still manages to pull the hottest chicks. The guy just doesn't give a ****. He IS the party, and if he sees a chick he wants he just grabs her. That's how it works, he's a guy of action. Hell, I even managed to make out not too long ago with a downright ****ing stunner after I puked my guts out 30 minutes earlier because I drank too much different booze.

I'm not saying it doesn't help, but it's not the most important thing by a long, long, LONG shot. Nothing more than small details. Not worth it to focus on right now for this dude.

I am simply telling the guy to work on completing his package, which will in turn, increase his confidence.
I left the part of your quote about the drunk girl because myself and a few other "a$$holes" had already given him the same advice route.
Finally, I like alot of what you said, I just didn't like being insulted for trying to help out someone who was reaching out for help.

All I'm sayin'

Essentials, now
Perfection, later

Your point is well taken. I've been in a slump the past few months, and I guess its caused me to feel more down in the dumps than usual. It is true that your mindset means a lot to your success.

Yet, I think the fact remains that women DO have an advantage these days. You have to be willing to play the numbers game hardcore in order to find a woman that will be interested in you. This isn't hard, it just takes a bit of effort.

That's more like it! :yes:

Because it takes a lot of effort, it's very much possible to separate yourself from the guys who aren't willing to take it. Because that's most guys.

And think about this, but if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it, right? I don't think women changed that much, it's more the men who did. We became a bunch of wussies. These ****ing guys walking around with perfectly shaved chests and and even legs... it disturbs and disgusts me every time I see it. It's so incredibly gay. The worst are these ass-holes on Jersey Shore. I don't know what they are, but I do know they aren't what a man is supposed to be. I can't believe these ****ing douchebags are allowed on TV.

Our grandfathers who fought in the second world war would use these guys to floss their teeth, after they wiped their asses with them. You think they ever worried about that kind of ****? **** no. They smoked cigarettes and they drank whiskey instead of worrying about their ****ing hair.

 

[snowdog]

lmao at seeing the title "21 and never kissed a girl" then seeing snowdog make a two page long response to it

I know you want it from me, baby.

 

[Die Hard]

I had my first kiss when I was 21. I had my first fvck two days later (same girl). Just goes to show how rapidly your luck can change!

Now you're all supposed to say "Cool story, bro!"

 

[OC Speedball]

First of all, f*ck all those ass-holes who tell you you need a wardrobe, a new hairstyle, bigger muscles or a new look. They don't know what they're talking about and are steering you in the worst direction I can think of. Those picture links you posted don't work but that doesn't matter, because the way you look doesn't mean sh*t.

The links don't work anymore because I took the advice of someone on this forum and took them down. Basically, he said it's not a good idea to post pics on this site and that they could come back to haunt me later. With this post hitting about 1,300 views I'd say it was a good call to take them down.


I am not taking sides on the looks debate... at least I don't want to. But for the most part I do agree with you snowdog. (I posted the pics so the people who are all about "looks" would also feel confident giving me input).

I am a skinny guy, and I would like to be bigger. Which is why I have been lifting since I was 14. I started getting coached by my friend who bench presses 370 lbs, it made me stronger and changed my perspective on working out, yet I am still skinny... but toned and in good shape. It's all about my metabolism, it's too fast. Nonetheless, it is more for my own confidence. At clubs I see guys that are short and flabby grinding up 8s and 9s all the time.

 

[Rubirosa]

Dude, that's bolony. A skinny, ugly dude with game, would be way way way better than a super fit handsome guy who's insecure. There are a ton of guys out there that go to the gym, actually pay attention for more than one minute a day to their hair and get an artificial tan. That's just covering up your weakness. It's like ugly chicks who wear a ton of make-up. From a distance it looks alright, but when you get close you'll be like **** NO.

The guy should work on his game, because that's the only thing that's gonna help him further. Not getting bigger biceps.



That's not true. A friend of mine is a downright ugly dude but he just doesn't give a f*ck about anything. He goes to the club in a $5 white t-shirt with his armpit hair sticking out of the sleeves after he ate a hamburger with onions and still manages to pull the hottest chicks. The guy just doesn't give a ****. He IS the party, and if he sees a chick he wants he just grabs her. That's how it works, he's a guy of action. Hell, I even managed to make out not too long ago with a downright ****ing stunner after I puked my guts out 30 minutes earlier because I drank too much different booze.

I'm not saying it doesn't help, but it's not the most important thing by a long, long, LONG shot. Nothing more than small details. Not worth it to focus on right now for this dude.



All I'm sayin'

Essentials, now
Perfection, later



That's more like it! :yes:

Because it takes a lot of effort, it's very much possible to separate yourself from the guys who aren't willing to take it. Because that's most guys.

And think about this, but if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it, right? I don't think women changed that much, it's more the men who did. We became a bunch of wussies. These ****ing guys walking around with perfectly shaved chests and and even legs... it disturbs and disgusts me every time I see it. It's so incredibly gay. The worst are these ass-holes on Jersey Shore. I don't know what they are, but I do know they aren't what a man is supposed to be. I can't believe these ****ing douchebags are allowed on TV.

Our grandfathers who fought in the second world war would use these guys to floss their teeth, after they wiped their asses with them. You think they ever worried about that kind of ****? **** no. They smoked cigarettes and they drank whiskey instead of worrying about their ****ing hair.

First, thanks for owning up to the name calling( Yes, I'm being sarcastic). I think that says alot about your character that you didn't.
In your arguments against my opinions, you somehow managed to plug in the idea that my concept of physical self improvement is devoid of "game", "inner confidence", .........whatever you want to call it. You presented some kind of example of a skinny guy with game is more effective than a superfit handsome guy with no game. Where did I say that one doesn't need confidence in talking with a chick ?
I don't care what you say, you'll never convince me that polishing up the physical package is a bad idea. If I'm not mistaken, the idea is to bang women, which means that you will be getting physical with them. I don't care if some hairy, ungroomed dude is able to act like a pimp in a drunken nightclub, what's important is what happens after closing time.
Finally, there is no correlation between being well groomed and polished and physical toughness. In fact, if you think about the military, including WW2, there is a huge emphasis on keeping everything sharp and clean (weapons, uniforms, ect...) It has to do with discipline.
Muhammed Ali was extremely well groomed, went around calling himself pretty, and wore expensive, tailored clothes.
He stepped into the ring with two of the scariest fighters at the time (Sonny Liston and George Foreman....G.Foreman had even totally kicked ass on guys that had kicked Ali's ass). Ali beat them both. So you see, it doesn't matter if a dude is metrosexual or not.....Badass comes in all packages. Some guys are, some guys aren't.
The O.P. wanted advice. I gave hime mine. He had a silly haircut and I told him how to look a little more masculine with his hair. Your argument is that some guys don't give a crap about their appearance and this F%$ it attitude applied to gaming chicks is a sign of confidence which translates into success. My arugument is that the physical development of the man goes hand in hand with the mental gaming of chicks and in no way detracts from this gaming, but rather it augments it. You took this argument of mine and modified it to me saying that it's only about the physical presentation.

 

[FairShake]

Don't listen to people who say looks don't matter. They do. If you have any female friends they'll tell you. But they'll also tell you that uglier guys can improve their appeal if they dress correctly and have an engaging personality. You may not have the quantity of chicks of good looking guys but you can match their quality chicks.