2 crazy nights, one crazy girl.

jmeredi

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I have a good friend (so I thought) that is going through alot right now. She just got out of an abusive relationship with a bf that beat and raped her. She can't move back home because her parents are extremely religious and won't let her. She is living in an apartment she can barely afford and has no money to eat.

I run into her the other day and she is so happy to see me and asks me to check out her apartment later. I find it and she invites me in. We catch up and a guy comes in, it's her boss from her job. He brings her some food, apparently he's helping her out. He's also married but his wife in in Iraq. My friend falls asleep with us there and the guy goes to leave and gets real close to her like hes kissing her goodbye. After he's gone she wakes up and tells me and everyone else how creepy he is.

I was interested in dating this girl before but we never did, we still get along really well though. We hang out in town and she asks me what I'm doing the next night and I thought we had made plans. We go to her boss' house to eat and watch movies and some more people come in. She immediately starts making friends with these guys cuz she is so lonely at the moment.

We leave the apartment with the guys to eat. She starts getting depressed all of a sudden and out of nowhere she says to the dudes she has known for a few hours that she has bipolar disorder. I knew she did, I ahve known her for awhile. Butthese guys were shocked. She was obviously embarrased and went outside. I found her crying beside the car and sat down next to her.

I listen to her, she says shes suicidal, no one loves her, shes crazy, she isn't good enough for anyone. On top of that she has no money and her boss helps her but he seems to expect something in return. And she says she can't tell him no or she will lose her job and the help he gives her.

We go back to her apartment and talk some more about it all. She falls asleep and I fondle her *JUST KIDDING*. She cries her eyes out to me. the next morning I get us breakfeast, she's being nice and friendly. I ask her aobut hanging out later, she doesn't know now. She said she would call, and I told her I would stop by her store cuz I would be in town later anyway.

I get there and her eyes are teared up. She's talking about someone stalking her to one of her co-workers, I joke that shes talkin about me. She says no. It's her boss shes talkin about. But then I get the feeling she may be talking about me, cuz I see him walk into the back room and she rushes back there too.

I am concerned about her cuz she talked about committing suicide, but I didn't get a chance to see how she was doing. I hang out at a buddies house and on the way home ecide to go by her place to see if shes home. She pulls up and asks me what Im doing there, yelling at me to leave and calling me a stalker. Her boss is there too. I'm confused cuz 5 hours ago we were cool. We argue and she keeps yelling at me to leave and never come back. I ask her if she was talking about me stalking her in the store and she whispers and says no, she was talking about her boss. She goes on to tell me shes crazy and doesnt deserve to be with anyone, and wants to be alone. That shes ugly and I have lots of women. She doesn't want help and wants me to leave. Everyone that gets closet o her hurts her. Her wrds.

We basically argue for an hour and then she just cuts me otu of her life. I didn't do anything. I just leave. This came out of nowhere, and I'm still confused by it. Any DJ's opinions on whats going on would be appreciated. NEXT of course, but man what's yoru thoughts on this?
 

catch

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hey man,

my best advise would be to remain a supportive friend if you want to, and stay away from the relationship aspect in this!
trust me, she does'nt sound to healthy upstairs, and this kind of problem can, and usually does esculate into bigger problems!

yes,
just go and get yourself a woman with a normal functioning brain!
 

jmeredi

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Yeah, just friends if anything. I want to support her, but she just flipped.
 

ApocalypseCow2

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Yeah, stay friends for now. Trust me, it is HELL when you are stuck in a relationshp with someone who is mentally unstable, and you're afraid what is going to happen if you break up with her.
 

wowiehowie

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I once had one somewhat similiar to yours. I didn't know for sure if she had Bi-Polar disorder but for certain she was treated for hypomania(her addmission), though not suicidal.

She had a real affinity for bad-ass loser type dudes. Well, she got out of a 5 year relationship and was supposed to have been married to him. I know what you mean, you try to be there as a friend to let her have someone to talk to. But, she tried to rope me into a relationship and (rather quickly). I think to myself and say "nuh-uh I ain't gonna be the rebound chump!!" During my short duration of hanging out with her, she would get abusive, critical, and did alot of projecting.

Dude, be very careful. She may wind up accusing you of some really bad sh!t. It seems like you are trying to do the decent thing and be there for her as a friend. She may not ever appreiciate it, but don't look at it from an expectation of reward. Gotta remember that she is most likely sick.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

TTom

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... I had an 'effed up' female friend awhile back. Used to be the supportive, ****less AFC friend that would be her emotional tampon. Never got close to getting anything out of it.

My advice? Get very, very far away from ****ed up women. Sure it'd be nice to solve all their issues, but that takes time, time that could be better spent doing just about anything else. Also there is very little to gain if you aren't looking for sex/etc.

So repeat with me -
Gain - Effort = Worth, she doesn't sound worth it.

But as everything - it's your choice.

-TTom
 

jmeredi

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I jsut thought it was odd, she was talking about how we had known each other for so long the night before and how good fo a friend I was. Then the next night she's calling me a stalker and telling me to leave and never come back. I would like to keep her as a friend cuz when she's happy she is really cool to hang out with, but damn this is emotionally draining.
 

DiggityDogg

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She's not interested in you romantically anyway. If anything, she probably taking you for a ride just like the boss.

Why are you trying to be there all of the time anyway? To me that is the most telling thing of the story. I have a lot of friends too, and they have problems as well, but I don't spend my waking hours with them and going places with them all of the time. Kind of strange...

Don't be Captain Save-a-hoe, because you'll just get used. If she really needs help you can be there for her but other than that, you don't need to be there so much. She seems to have mastered the art of "Pity Me".
 

jmeredi

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Good advice Dogg. I'm not there constantly though, this is just over two days. She had moved away for two months and then came back. These 2 days was the first time I had seen her since she moved back. I jsut came back the next day cuz she mentioned suicide the night before, and I would check on any of my friends if they said something like that. I do believe she's taking the boss for a ride, she was making fun of him so bad when he left to everyone. Probably doing the same to me when my back is turned.

I know some old friends of hers and they said that she had told them she was raped too, this was about 2 years ago.

As for being Captain save a ho. Yeah, I'm guilty of that, but it's not like I'm paying her bills or or anything, I just didn't want her to kill herself. Which is probably what she was going for anyway. Her exact words were that she would kill herself if God wouldn't send her soul to hell.
 

DiggityDogg

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Originally posted by jmeredi
Good advice Dogg. I'm not there constantly though, this is just over two days. She had moved away for two months and then came back. These 2 days was the first time I had seen her since she moved back. I jsut came back the next day cuz she mentioned suicide the night before, and I would check on any of my friends if they said something like that. I do believe she's taking the boss for a ride, she was making fun of him so bad when he left to everyone. Probably doing the same to me when my back is turned.

I know some old friends of hers and they said that she had told them she was raped too, this was about 2 years ago.

As for being Captain save a ho. Yeah, I'm guilty of that, but it's not like I'm paying her bills or or anything, I just didn't want her to kill herself. Which is probably what she was going for anyway. Her exact words were that she would kill herself if God wouldn't send her soul to hell.
Hey, I wouldn't be surprised if that boss WAS getting something from her.

I never trust a girl who hangs around someone, and then badmouths them once they are gone. HUGE red flag for me.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

jmeredi

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Me either, the dudes a complete AFC. She has him wrapped so bad. Thing is his wife comes home from the army in 2 weeks. Should be some nice drama if things really are happening.
 

backbreaker

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First of all, Run!

Get as far away from this walking timebomb as possible.. becasue sooner or later all timebombs explode.

See, the problem AFC's ,and the problem that you seem to be having (see I didnt' call you an AFC, but this is an AFC tendency) is that they assume women are weak and fraglie and can't take care of themselves. AFC's treat women like porclin glasses that have to be handled with delicate care.

Look, that women made every freakin decision in her life and put herself in her own whole.. Hard life? Tough ****.. I mean, as a REAL friend, not a guy that really wants to just get some ass, ,becacuse make no mistake, if she was a Worthog, you wouldn't have even known all this because you wuldn't have given her the time of day, but as a real friend, yeah I will listen to their problems every once in a while, but even then after a while you got to make them take care of their own prolbems, because you have your own life


And you think that one day she is just going to wake up, stop crying on your sholder, and think you are sexy and want to **** your brains out?

Then you make a post about how you got blindsided by LJBFland.



Ok, she got raped, and honeslty that's very tragic, I get that. But there is absolutly nothing YOU can do about it, and she decided to be with the loser, ,not you. Make her accountable for her damn actions instead of making her feel like she has done nothing wrong.

She isn't going to kill herself, she doens thave bipolor disorder, I promise you, she is an UWH, Ultra-Attention-*****, who makes up diseases to get extra attention to gather sympthoy.

I'm not saying NOT CARE, but you have better, and more important things to do than to listen to her rant about her life and how everyone is out to get her.

If you want to help her out ,hold her accountable for her actions.

And how do you NOT know he isn't tapping this girl (the married guy)... yeah, ,she told you that he isn't, but she could have VERY well have told HIM that you were a creppy jerk when you left... Why are you listening and believing a girl who you admit has problems? I'm not saying he is, but don't take her word for it.

Anyone that wants to and does kill themselves, doesn't deserve your time anyway. It's not that you don't care, but you can only help people who REALLY want to be helped, and letting the ***** and cry isn't helping, it's hurting because it's making them dependant.

This girl I was friends with FOREVER, had a BF that actually tried to kill himself.. twice. and at first she called me and came over my house and cryed, and you know, it's understandable... if she wouldn't have broken into his house, he would have died.. that can be tragic.

But after the 2nd time he tried and she tried the same thing, I told her that look, you knew what kind of guy he was, and you can blame no one but yourself, so don't come to me looking for sympthony, I have my own problems.

And you know what? She took care of her own problem.

Like I said, women aren't as fagile as you think, they can be rather resiliant
 

( . )( . )

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Originally posted by jmeredi

We leave the apartment with the guys to eat. She starts getting depressed all of a sudden and out of nowhere she says to the dudes she has known for a few hours that she has bipolar disorder. I knew she did, I ahve known her for awhile. Butthese guys were shocked. She was obviously embarrased and went outside. I found her crying beside the car and sat down next to her.
I am concerned about her cuz she talked about committing suicide,
Thats it sucker take the bait, reassure me like all the other drones, LOOK AT ME DAMMIT!!!. "Bipolar" give me a break, this cvnt is textbook attention hor.

This is a no brainer, stick it in her ass and get the fvck outta there. Shes totally useless to you other than that.

Oh nevermind I just reread your opening sentence "" I have a good friend (so I thought) that is going through alot right now. "" . There goes the option of smashing her azzhole :crazy:. Move along my man theres nothing to see here.
 

jmeredi

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Yeah, I'm thinking that if I slept with her and things didn't work out, she would accuse me of raping her too. The bipolar I think is genuine though, she mentioned to me before about taking medication, and she has told two other friends of hers plus these two new guys. She always seems to be the victim in her problems. Thanks for the advice guys.
 
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C00L

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lmao when you said you fondled her. LOL totally unexpected.
 

squirrels

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All thoughts you are entertaining about dating/sleeping with/being romantic with this girl should be GONE by now. If not, you need to do something about your desperation.

As far as her suicide threats...if she kills herself, it's not your fault. You tried, and you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. If you ask me, she just wants attention. But I'm no therapist and neither are you. If you're THAT worried about her killing herself and don't think it's just a crazy cry for help, call one of those suicide hotlines or something and get the girl some therapy.
 

jmeredi

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All of those thoughts left me a long time ago. I went to a concert with a date the night before all this and she saw the pictures and seemed to get depressed and a little jealous after seeing the girl I was with. Then when she was yelling at me, she went on to say I had so-and-so (my date) and she was prettier than her.

As for the suicide, it kinda bothered me at first, that's why I dropped in on her. But now that I think about it, if she really wanted to do it, she would have. I guess seh thinks she can only get attention if she causes a crisis.
 

spider_007

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lets state the facts

on on hand

-she is cool person to hang out with (when she is not on one of her mood swings)
-she is cute (i assume)


on the other hand

-she has emotional problems (enought to worrnet psychological treatment)
-she puts everybody around her through hell (even good friends who are just trying to be there for her)
-she is prostituting her self to be able to put food on the table

did i forget anything?


i can't say that i wouldn't feel sorry(puitty) for the gurl and that i wouldn't want to help her. HAWEVER, being near her is like standing in a wortex, fighting to stay out and being draged down to the bottom. IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE. if she asks for anything, i wouldn't mind helping her if i was you, hawever, at the fist sign of bull sh1t- BAIL (it's your ass). Don't bother trying to heop her, if she needs someone to talk to she can call & ask. The old guy will eventually rape her, or she will give it up to him because she is obligated (i wouldn't be suprised if she already does). Chances are in a year or two, she will be a street *****.....

as much as it hurts watching someone being draged down in the wortex, there is notting you can do (unless you jump in and join them - ruin your life/future, and possibly endup in jail)
 
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