100 Approach Journal

[GrowingPains]

Inspired by some old journals I read. Hoping this goal (to finish by the end of the year) will reinforce consistency. I find that approaches are easier after you've done a few, but if you take a long break then you start to get in your head again. To future self: stay tf out of your head, my guy. I'll try to keep them short, but provide details where I see fit for my own reflection and for critique. Alright, let's get it.

10-4 - Military girl - Last week I was at a friend's apartment for free burgers. There wasn't any silverware to get the food so the girl behind me asked how I did it I said "Magic... I did it with my mind." She smirked and I teased her a bit before telling her. She sat across from us and I asked where she went to school, started some fluff talk. She asked where I'm from and I said "You're asking too many questions, I gotta keep my identity concealed." Later I asked where she's from. She teased "Now you're asking too many questions" but she told me anyways. She asked me where I was from and I said I couldn't tell her because her dad was in the military. Banter, I was experimenting with creating some mystery and flirting. I went to get more food and she left while I was up. I went outside and got her number. Didn't have my phone on me so she took mine. I told her to tell me hers, I'd remember it. Her jaw dropped, girls seem to think that's amazing or something. I said "If it's special enough, I won't forget it" Gave her my number. Texted a week after but no reply. Either I remembered wrong or she lost interest. Next!

10-10 - Getting out of my head - I left my class to get some ****ing water because the class was dry af. I was falling asleep ykno. I seen a girl in the hall. We locked eyes for a couple seconds. I looked away and looked back and she was still looking at me. I was in my head super heavy though because I hadn't approached any girls recently. So I kept walking and didn't say anything on the way back. I saw her when I left class, but there were people around and I chickened out - giving in to the fear that people around us would judge me - gotta get over that. I was about to leave the building but "rejection is better than regret" so I decided to go back and talk to her just so I wouldn't feel bad about not doing it later. I asked her name. She told me. I said "You have pretty eyes, [name], I had to tell you that." "Thank you" Me: "What are you working on?" Her: "CompSci" Me: "Do you mind if I sit?" She moved her stuff for me, fluff talk ensued. I was really nervous. But I got the number. Glad I did that. I asked if she wanted my number (I'm trynna exchange numbers nowadays instead of just get theirs) and she said "You'll text me". I'm thinking: "Oh?? Confident ting aren't we?". I said "Maybe" with a smirk and bounced.

10-10 - "Be an alpha" - marvinlfloresq - Then later that day I hit the gym. There's a girl in there that I always see, I've introduced myself to her about a month ago and we exchange small talk from time to time. Today I asked her if she does 2-a-days because I see her in there if I go in the morning or if I go in the evening. She said she doesn't have anything else to do. Teased her about that and went to do my sets. I asked my friends if she has a bf because there's a guy who's always in there when she is that talks to her, that's why I haven't really pursued her. They didn't know. She said something when I walked by but I kept walking - I didn't know she was talking to me. I turned around and said "Were you talking to me?". Her: "Yeah" and told me about a bat they were trying to catch in the hall (Yup, a bat in the gym. Wild). This is an interesting development because she spoke to me first this time. So I decided to put the nail in the coffin myself. I came back and we crossed paths again. I asked if she caught the bat yet, she laughed. And I went in for the kill (cue La Roux): "Since you have all this free time.... I was wondering if I could get your number and we get to know each other a little more sometime" (I need to get better at asking for the number and not ask for the number). Bag secured. I didn't have my phone on me again so I told her to just tell it to me. She was amazed too, but she said if I forget she'll see me around and give it to me. When I left, I joked with her, screwing up her number as if I had forgotten.

10-10 - Confusing - I was waiting for the bus. There was a girl standing beside me but it was kinda dark, I couldn't tell if she was cute or not. But I went for it, asked what bus she was waiting for and fluff ensued. Next bus was coming in 20 mins. Fast forward: I asked if she watched sports, she said nah. I told her the last game I went to was the first game of freshman year. She said the last game she went to was 4 years ago with her bf. I was like dammit girl... we've been talking for 15 minutes. You couldn't have said that earlier?? But we kept talking, got on the bus and she said "So you asked me if I'm seeing anyone but what about you?" I said nah. More chit chat, she said something about some food she made and I responded "That sounds good... I want that" She said "Yeah come over I'll make it". Could be an innocent/friendly... Idk. She waited for me to get off the bus. I said "Aw you waited for me that's so sweet" sarcastically. When it was time to depart, I asked for her number. Shoot the shot anyways. She gave it to me. I said "Cool, well it was nice to meet you", gave her a hug. Her: "Yeah I cant wait to see you again soon!". Me: "Yeah" smiled and dipped. Curious what you guys think about this one... her bf is overseas rn. I was originally thinking "Oh she has a bf, next" but she gave some IOI's after saying it so..

10-11 Didn't approach today. Busy with school work. Hoping tomorrow presents some opportunities so I can keep the momentum.

Stay tuned.

 

[GrowingPains]

Crazy to look back on this. The nervousness was so debilitating back then. I still experience a couple of the feelings but I think nowadays I'm able to put mind over matter and the nerves don't physically manifest themselves except in things like eye contact. Ik, Ik, you want some stats: I've definitely done plenty of approaches since then and gotten.. idk 8-10 lays hooked up with 6-8 more (in different countries too, it's lit). 1 plate earlier this year. 1 plate right now. Iono, fvckalldat.

So since I recently got laid for the first time in a couple months, I notice I'm feeling more confident. And I started to stress about this girl potentially being my girlfriend. Started to go full-blown AFC. Be careful fellas, pvssy is one hell of a drug (so is being busy with not a lot of free time and sexual options lol). But instead of worrying about a relationship, I'ma use this confidence to get more plates. She can worry about the relationship. If it happens it happens, but I gotta know what the vanilla bean tastes like before I buy the blueberry cheesecake, yagetme?e'

So anyways, here's 2 approaches:

Last night:

"Hesitation is masturbation"
"You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow"

Saw this girl as soon as I walked in to the gym. Ideal body type. Curvy. Long hair. Fit. She went to go get water. I went to go get water. She was standing there and it was a really quiet area where others around could definitely hear what I said. Didn't do it and for the rest of the time I'm just regretting that I didn't because there weren't any opportunities to approach. She was on the phone/working out. A year later and I haven't gotten over this. Time to face these fears.

[5] Moved to a different part of the gym to do a different exercise. There was a petite girl with some nice assets. Perky tits. Bubble butt. Curly hair and blue eyes. Sheesh. Anyways, she was doing a circuit so it was hard to approach. We crossed paths a couple times but I made excuses because she was holding weights or something. Whatever I did it eventually. She was jump roping with an imaginary rope and I teased her about it - "How long have you had that rope" or something stupid". Convo was one sided. She gave me her number. I forgot to save it lmao I do this a lot. Not stressed though because she didn't seem interested and it was more about me just doing it that anything.

Edit: I just checked my phone, apparently I do have it. I'll hit her up next week since she's out of town this weekend.

This morning:

[6] Coming back from the gym. See this girl running. This girl is fine as FVCK. I've seen her around campus a lot. I was on my bike, obviously these aren't optimal conditions but whatever. I've been crushing on her too long we gotta put an end to this. So I pull up. Stop her. Chat for a bit. Tell her I figured I might as well say hello since I've seen her around. She seems a bit startled, fair because I've stopped her run. Whatevs. I talk anyways, staying calm even though I'm nervous because she's nervous and I've 'waited for this for so long'. Ik you're wondering; she's also curvy. Was wearing one of those tight athletic performance tops and some running shorts and it's huggin'. Not like stretched but fitting just right. Fvck. Anyways, she says she doesn't mean to be rude but she has to keep running. Not interested, next set.

 

[cheyne]

8-10 lays hooked up with 6-8 more

slayer!

 

[GrowingPains]

[7] Some girls in the gym today. One with her friends. One by herself. Both giving me looks. Both 6's.

The one with her friends was giving me 'fvck me' vibes. But if I'm honest I was a bit unsure how to break the group. I could've talked to them about the exercise they were doing, as they were unsure and I have some tips... But that seemed like it'd get a 'who is this guy...' response. Prolly didn't matter what I said, just wasn't confident enough to entertain the group.

I was grabbing something from the other girl's rack (and hopefully later grabbing her rack, yagetme) and she was putting plates on. I noticed and handed her a plate. She smiled, said thanks. Ykno, cordial sh!t. Later asked her her name when she was walking away, I figured I didn't want to let both of them slip away... so I chatted her up. Good convo. Fun. Not one-sided. She's definitely interested. Set up the date on the spot, Saturday at 6.

Need to approach some HB7's+.

Dunno why guys find the gym such a weird place to approach... so many fit girls there. I was sweating my ass off. She didn't care. Guess it just depends on how they perceive you. Just don't make it weird and it won't be weird.

 

[GrowingPains]

[8] Locked eyes with this BODACIOUS ting. Hispanic. Lovely. "You're just. my. type... (you're got a pulse and you are brea-thing!)" - SAINT MOTEL

Complimented her sweater and she was kind of confused. Then she realized she was wearing a sweater and said thanks. We laughed about it and chatted for a sec. She had a coffee and I was going to get one so I said let me go get a cup and we can chat for a minute.

Talked some more. Very interesting girl. She's visiting though, lives 2 hours away. Oh well, if it happens it's a good reason to travel to a place I've never been. ANYWAYS:

She says she used to fight MMA. I asked if her hands were registered as lethal weapons. She said yeah and I said lemme see the 'lethal weapons' and held her hand in mine. Jokingly said 'no way.. these things? Lethal?' and moved her hand to my face as if I was punching myself.

It was fun. Said lemme get your number, it'd be a good excuse to travel. She was like 'yeah why not..' in a positive/hesitant kind of way. I should've set the date right then. But whatever, I'll call her later this week and see what the deal is. Me: ' "why not..?" It'll be a great time, what do you mean "why not..?" '. She laughed. Hugged her and dipped.

After this I'm realizing that I need to start hanging out where girls that are my type are. No more 6's my G. If I'm not ready for takeoff just by talking to you... I'm over it.

 

[GrowingPains]

[9] - Just another gym story

Girl waves at me in the gym. I'm shook because idk who tf she is. I check over my shoulder and do the 'you talkin' to me?'. She said yeah. Somehow remembers me from a football game. Chatted her for a sec. Got her number and said let's get a drink sometime, seems kind of startled (maybe she thought it was a friendly convo) but invites me to a pre-game on Friday before a concert. Undecided about it, but I mean... it seems like a cool opportunity to meet some new people so ya know what.. I'll give it a shot.

Edit: Alright gang, we're goin' to the partay. Righteous.

 

[Jager]

Well done, bud. I kept a journal when I first started unplugging.

Its an excellent way to collect your thoughts, analyze your process. That, and it’s a hell of a boost when you see how much you’ve grown and developed positively.

 

[GrowingPains]

[10]

Saw her in the gym before. Didn't think much of it besides 'hm... that's a nice bod'. Curvy. Okay face. But I need a curvier bod in my life, so today I said fvck it.

Crossed paths once as I was going to talk to my friend who was on a machine behind her... what a view he must've had lmao. Anyways, I'm thinkin' maybe him being close by is cool because it'd give me confidence and I'd take a step towards being able to approach around others... Idk what happened but I didn't. Dapped my boy up and headed out of the gym.

But that didn't feel right so I went back in the gym. She was doing a set so I paused and literally typed bs into my phone while counting a rep cadence in my head to predict when she'd get up hahaha. Anyways I walk over, chat her up. I was a lil nervous. I don't think it showed, but I think it's because of the hesitation. Otherwise it went well. Asked her if she's around next week - no - but got her number.

Two things I'd do better next time:
1. Just fvcking approach. Hesitation is masturbation.
2. When she said she's busy, I said 'Okay well lemme get your number and let's uh...' and trailed off as I unlocked my phone. I should've set the plans as I was initially trying to do or at least said '...get a drink.'

 

[GrowingPains]

[11] Brazilian Booty - Damn I meet a lot of girls in the gym...

Before we start: Update on the last girl, texting her now. She responded in 1 minute after 2 weeks of not talking with the utmost enthusiasm. Interesting. Let's hope the next update on her is me blowing her back out.

In the gym today, saw a girl who looked kinda curvy and seemed fit. She wasn't near me so I just did my thing. I kinda walked past her on my way back to the squat rack but she was setting up the machine so I went on about my bidness. I thought she left after a while because I didn't see her but I saw her in the 'stretching part' of the gym. So I decided to just go over and say hello. Problem was, she was stretching... so I just kept walking and ended up doing a lap around the gym haha.

So I looked over now and then to see if she was leaving. Because no way was I gonna not follow through on what I wanted to do and feel lame. She was packing up, I walked over. Chatted her up. Had a lot of brain farts and just blamed it on final exam week. But it was a good interaction, she enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. She started brain farting later and I joked with her about it, saying I was rubbing off on her. She was laughing, things were good. Someone even held the door for her and she said thanks but didn't go through so she could talk to me.

Gave her my number as I didn't have my phone on me. She texted me later so I could have her number. Trying to set up drinks for Wednesday before she goes for vacation in Brazil.

 

[GrowingPains]

[11] Brazilian Booty - Damn I meet a lot of girls in the gym...

Before we start: Update on the last girl, texting her now. She responded in 1 minute after 2 weeks of not talking with the utmost enthusiasm. Interesting. Let's hope the next update on her is me blowing her back out.

In the gym today, saw a girl who looked kinda curvy and seemed fit. She wasn't near me so I just did my thing. I kinda walked past her on my way back to the squat rack but she was setting up the machine so I went on about my bidness. I thought she left after a while because I didn't see her but I saw her in the 'stretching part' of the gym. So I decided to just go over and say hello. Problem was, she was stretching... so I just kept walking and ended up doing a lap around the gym haha.

So I looked over now and then to see if she was leaving. Because no way was I gonna not follow through on what I wanted to do and feel lame. She was packing up, I walked over. Chatted her up. Had a lot of brain farts and just blamed it on final exam week. But it was a good interaction, she enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. She started brain farting later and I joked with her about it, saying I was rubbing off on her. She was laughing, things were good. Someone even held the door for her and she said thanks but didn't go through so she could talk to me.

Gave her my number as I didn't have my phone on me. She texted me later so I could have her number. Trying to set up drinks for Wednesday before she goes for vacation in Brazil.

Date with the first girl on Friday. Going for drinks. She seems excited. Just gotta play it cool with this one. Seems like it's in the bag but you never know.

Date with the second girl Saturday morning. Grabbing coffee. Also seems excited but not really an opportunity to bang this one, more so an opportunity to keep the momentum going before we both go on holiday. Maybe I'm just thinking that because I've never gotten a lay in the morning... but then again, there's a first time for everything.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Date with the first girl on Friday. Going for drinks. She seems excited. Just gotta play it cool with this one. Seems like it's in the bag but you never know.

Date with the second girl Saturday morning. Grabbing coffee. Also seems excited but not really an opportunity to bang this one, more so an opportunity to keep the momentum going before we both go on holiday. Maybe I'm just thinking that because I've never gotten a lay in the morning... but then again, there's a first time for everything.

Hey good for you. I already know that you know the correct phone game lol

 

[GrowingPains]

Hey good for you. I already know that you know the correct phone game lol

*Clap, rub hands*... What's up fellas...

I keep it minimal and usually to logistics. But where I feel comfortable or I think it'll make things less rigid, I throw in some personality. Usually just a little slang to keep things fun. Sum light. Teasing if the opportunity presents itself.

If it feels forced... Delete it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

*Clap, rub hands*... What's up fellas...

I keep it minimal and usually to logistics. But where I feel comfortable or I think it'll make things less rigid, I throw in some personality. Usually just a little slang to keep things fun. Sum light. Teasing if the opportunity presents itself.

If it feels forced... Delete it.

Haha exactly

 

[GrowingPains]

Went out for wine with [10]. It was an okay time. For the first 30 minutes we basically talked about her. No problem. Then I was purposefully silent for a little bit, had a long sip of wine, looked at her and waited to see what she'd say. She didn't say anything but she started to fidget. So I asked what was on her mind... then she said 'Let's talk about you'. If I was looking for a girlfriend, this probably would've disqualified her. No genuine desire there. So I said 'okay shoot' and even then I had to offer her things to ask me or prompt her by saying 'Alright, hit me with the next one (question)' in a sarcastic/light-hearted way.

Anyway the convo went on and she kept mentioning how old she was.. "Like I said, I'm old". And even mentioned that she'd like to have kids and explained what kind of mom she'd like to be. Apparently over 30. I was a little curious too since she kept mentioning it. I asked how old her nephew (whom was the reason we didn't go out yesterday) was. 2 years old. Not very telling, could be sub-30. So she ends up saying she has this white elephant Christmas party where everyone buys a sex toy. Of course she tried to continue past this but I took it as an opportunity to push the envelope. Asking what she was gonna get blah blah blah. She said I might think she's weird because she's going and I was like "No... sounds like a pretty sub-30 thing to do" and she laughed in a way that was like "sub-30..? ha!" and I was like "not sub-30?" no real confirmation there so... she's over 30.

I also mentioned that I still have an assignment due tonight so she asked if I should get back a couple times. At this point I have already spent a crazy amount of time on it (the code is running as I type this, ugh... so over this project) I wasn't too worried about it.

She asked about the friends I was at the gym with and if I was like waiting for her to talk to her. I dodged the fvck outta that question and just said nah I wasn't there with them (I wasn't, I just knew them) and 'saw her standing there and decided I'd go stand over there too'. She said "I was thinking-" but I cut her off and said "This is a dream come true". She laughed. Idk that was kinda weird... just reinforces not hesitating I guess, because I would've spoken to her earlier if I didn't hesitate.

It wasn't the most exciting of convos. She laughed here and there. I laughed at my own jokes. She is interesting, I'll try to see her again. But it's obvious that we're at different points in life. She has a house, is talking about kids... I have an apartment on campus... and I'm trynna blow her back out.

The owners of the wine bar remembered me. That was cool. They like me. Brownie points for me.

I go to the bathroom, come back. Put my hand on her back as I walk past her and say "Shall we get out of here? I have wine at my place if you'd like to come". She says "yeah, we can hang out".

We head out. I know that I need to get back to my work so I try and gauge how the situation is gonna go when we get back to my apartment. I give her a hug, lean in for the kiss and she rejects it. Laughs awkwardly and I say 'Maybe we should just wait until next time'.

I could've just gotten her back to my place... cuddled and started rubbing her body but I wasn't trying to get her here and then see what she wanted to do. I needed an answer then. I got work to do.

Whatever. I like her boobs and she's got a house which I'd be more than happy to fvck her all over. I'll hit her up again when I'm free.

Date with [11] in the morning and with this Italian girl I've hooked up with from Tinder in the afternoon.

 

[MrWood]

Anyway the convo went on and she kept mentioning how old she was.. "Like I said, I'm old". And even mentioned that she'd like to have kids and explained what kind of mom she'd like to be. Apparently over 30. I was a little curious too since she kept mentioning it. I asked how old her nephew (whom was the reason we didn't go out yesterday) was. 2 years old. Not very telling, could be sub-30. So she ends up saying she has this white elephant Christmas party where everyone buys a sex toy. Of course she tried to continue past this but I took it as an opportunity to push the envelope. Asking what she was gonna get blah blah blah. She said I might think she's weird because she's going and I was like "No... sounds like a pretty sub-30 thing to do" and she laughed in a way that was like "sub-30..? ha!" and I was like "not sub-30?" no real confirmation there so... she's over 30.

She is looking for a LTR, her eggs are boiling.

We head out. I know that I need to get back to my work so I try and gauge how the situation is gonna go when we get back to my apartment. I give her a hug, lean in for the kiss and she rejects it. Laughs awkwardly and I say 'Maybe we should just wait until next time'.

wtf, ive taken plenty of women home and bang within minutes... but what you do here, way bad and you didnt gauge the situation at all, like all of your encounters. There is a theme to your stories.

I could've just gotten her back to my place... cuddled and started rubbing her body but I wasn't trying to get her here and then see what she wanted to do. I needed an answer then. I got work to do.

This is your excuse reasoning, its BS bro. Its not being indifferent nor "alpha". Its a thin veil to us reading your stories of "why" YOU bailed out. Stop lying to yourself.

Why are you so focused on conversations? There is no magic phrase or step-by-step, did you take too many PUA bootcamps?? Honestly, if a girl brings up sex, acknowledge it and continue... making fun of it is very immature.
Women control the pvssy, they let you know indirectly if they are considering you.

Its also a test.

Her: blah blah sex blah blah
Him #1 - goes pervert, make fun, use as a jumping point, gets excited
Him #2 - acknowledges it, plays it cool and changes topic

Her:
#1 is so hungry, oh gawd what a looser pervert
#2 is interesting, omg he didnt go all perv on me... how cool

 

[GrowingPains]

She is looking for a LTR, her eggs are boiling.
Why are you so focused on conversations? Honestly, if a girl brings up sex, acknowledge it and continue... making fun of it is very immature. Women control the pvssy, they let you know indirectly if they are considering you.

Its also a test.

Her: blah blah sex blah blah
Him #1 - goes pervert, make fun, use as a jumping point, gets excited
Him#2 - acknowledges it, plays it cool and changes topic

Her:
#1 is so hungry, oh gawd what a looser pervert
#2 is interesting, omg he didnt go all perv on me... how cool

I guess I'm focused on the conversation because thats what we did... Converse. So discussing our conversation is the field report.

And I see your points about the perv comments. But it wasn't like 'I would love to see what you can do with a toy!!!!' it was just 'what did you get, you should get something useful'. I wasn't overly excited about it, as far as I recall I was mature about it. But I did continue the conversation to see how she responded to talking about sexual things.

 

[MrWood]

And I see your points about the perv comments. But it wasn't like 'I would love to see what you can do with a toy!!!!' it was just 'what did you get, you should get something useful'. I wasn't overly excited about it, as far as I recall I was mature about it. But I did continue the conversation to see how she responded to talking about sexual things.

your reasoning and excuses are wildly eyeopening.

 

[GrowingPains]

your reasoning and excuses are wildly eyeopening.

I suppose. I mean the way I wrote it seems that way lol I didn't say those things in the same sentence. I'm not stressing it though man.

Maybe you have a point. I'll take your word for it and consider not biting the bait in the future.

Btw, it would've been more helpful to say what you mean by 'wildly eye opening' instead of being vague. Just for future reference. It's like if you see a guy and you're like wow .. the way he's dressed is wildly eye opening. But everyone else is like wtf are you talking about? When you could've just said it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Went out for wine with [10]. It was an okay time. For the first 30 minutes we basically talked about her. No problem. Then I was purposefully silent for a little bit, had a long sip of wine, looked at her and waited to see what she'd say. She didn't say anything but she started to fidget. So I asked what was on her mind... then she said 'Let's talk about you'. If I was looking for a girlfriend, this probably would've disqualified her. No genuine desire there. So I said 'okay shoot' and even then I had to offer her things to ask me or prompt her by saying 'Alright, hit me with the next one (question)' in a sarcastic/light-hearted way.

Anyway the convo went on and she kept mentioning how old she was.. "Like I said, I'm old". And even mentioned that she'd like to have kids and explained what kind of mom she'd like to be. Apparently over 30. I was a little curious too since she kept mentioning it. I asked how old her nephew (whom was the reason we didn't go out yesterday) was. 2 years old. Not very telling, could be sub-30. So she ends up saying she has this white elephant Christmas party where everyone buys a sex toy. Of course she tried to continue past this but I took it as an opportunity to push the envelope. Asking what she was gonna get blah blah blah. She said I might think she's weird because she's going and I was like "No... sounds like a pretty sub-30 thing to do" and she laughed in a way that was like "sub-30..? ha!" and I was like "not sub-30?" no real confirmation there so... she's over 30.

I also mentioned that I still have an assignment due tonight so she asked if I should get back a couple times. At this point I have already spent a crazy amount of time on it (the code is running as I type this, ugh... so over this project) I wasn't too worried about it.

She asked about the friends I was at the gym with and if I was like waiting for her to talk to her. I dodged the fvck outta that question and just said nah I wasn't there with them (I wasn't, I just knew them) and 'saw her standing there and decided I'd go stand over there too'. She said "I was thinking-" but I cut her off and said "This is a dream come true". She laughed. Idk that was kinda weird... just reinforces not hesitating I guess, because I would've spoken to her earlier if I didn't hesitate.

It wasn't the most exciting of convos. She laughed here and there. I laughed at my own jokes. She is interesting, I'll try to see her again. But it's obvious that we're at different points in life. She has a house, is talking about kids... I have an apartment on campus... and I'm trynna blow her back out.

The owners of the wine bar remembered me. That was cool. They like me. Brownie points for me.

I go to the bathroom, come back. Put my hand on her back as I walk past her and say "Shall we get out of here? I have wine at my place if you'd like to come". She says "yeah, we can hang out".

We head out. I know that I need to get back to my work so I try and gauge how the situation is gonna go when we get back to my apartment. I give her a hug, lean in for the kiss and she rejects it. Laughs awkwardly and I say 'Maybe we should just wait until next time'.

I could've just gotten her back to my place... cuddled and started rubbing her body but I wasn't trying to get her here and then see what she wanted to do. I needed an answer then. I got work to do.

Whatever. I like her boobs and she's got a house which I'd be more than happy to fvck her all over. I'll hit her up again when I'm free.

Date with [11] in the morning and with this Italian girl I've hooked up with from Tinder in the afternoon.

Have you heard the AMS theory that says there's no point in trying to kiss a woman in a public area? Since kissing is just a prerequisite to sex and nothing more, he says that it only makes sense to kiss her when you're in a position to make a move. For example, at the couch on your apartment.

What code are you working on? I just got done with school this semester and I'm very burnt out from code haha

 

[GrowingPains]

Have you heard the AMS theory that says there's no point in trying to kiss a woman in a public area? Since kissing is just a prerequisite to sex and nothing more, he says that it only makes sense to kiss her when you're in a position to make a move. For example, at the couch on your apartment.

What code are you working on? I just got done with school this semester and I'm very burnt out from code haha

It was a model for a fuel cell. Not really coding coding but just using MATLAB.

Yeah I think I remember that from AMS. I was trying to see if it was even worth bringing her back in that case. Today I didn't go for a kiss for whatever reason. I gave her a hug and invited her back because I had time to actually hang out and progress things at my place. She had plans with her friends in 30 minutes so she didn't come and when she said that I was even less inclined to go for the kiss. Because I knew I wasnt going to get any action. I have a feeling she wanted me to kiss her. Oh well.

I'm also not sure that I'm into her like that. We had fun and she's cute but she's not hot. At least to me. She's curvy.. and she trains.. but I dunno. Recently I've been curious if I'm just keeping these girls around because it makes me feel validated and I feel like i need them to stick around until I get a replacement or something. But I need to learn to just let them go. Maybe it's an ego thing like I need to deal the deal and fvck or I need to have x number of girls in my rotation. The girl from yesterday.. probably needs to just be left at that. The girl from today... I'll give another shot. Never been in the situation Im in, which is to have so many options that it's almost overwhelming. I'm just so focused on being able to pull and smash. Maybe I need to reevaluate what my goal is here. Perhaps I need to level up to hotter women. More interesting women that I truly desire.

Hmm... So in order to level up obviously I gotta do a couple things.

Get LMS up.

So what does this mean for me.. I'm a grad student. I don't have a lot of money but I will have a car soon and I have enough cash to do whatever I want at the moment. I dress quite well when I actually have time to put together an outfit. I am still exploring what I like in fashion. Maybe I'll take some pictures of what I wear and post them here sometime.

Today I wore a black tee under a cardigan (pic attached) from a Dutch brand I like with indigo jeans, and Clark's dessert boots bushacre color. Pin rolled the jeans. All black citizen watch. Tom Ford Noir cologne.

My status could use some work i guess. I do know a lot of people but that's mainly from classes or my lab. So my social circle still isn't that great. I have made some really good friends recently and they go out a lot. I just haven't been able to hang with them consistently because dating and school. But I want to... Not just because of their status but they're a good friend of mine. So as far as status... Being a better researcher probably isn't going to help me out all that much but I'm working on that anyways so we'll see. I think I need to be at more high status events if I want to up my status or meet hotter, more interesting women. Hmm... Obviously at my age it's probably just about being at the parties in general. So that's a start.

Looks... Physique pic attached. I'm fine in that department and I will clean up my diet and get some definition since exams are over but I mean.. I'm good. I'm taking accutane which is clearing up my acne but I still have some scars. That will just take time. I have yet to find a haircut that is minimal maintenance and looks great. I think a bald fade with a 1.5 guard on top is good. Idk I think I just need to become more refined. Not entirely sure how to do that yet.

Rambling...