“I need to take some time”

[BeExcellent]

You paint your friend as a victim who finally got the brightness in her voice back when in her early 50s. But she decided to break up with the high school sweetheart. She decided to marry the ass hole with caustic personality that she met in college. She decided to have kids (plural) with him.
So whatever she says about the new guy has to be taken with a big grain of salt.

I agree with you. She should never have married the ex husband. She broke things off with the high school sweetheart because he lied to her. At 18 she didn't have the life experience to forgive him (he had lied about being a virgin and later it came out that he wasn't although she had been. He didn't cheat or anything, but she found that lie very hurtful so she dropped him.)

You cannot always look at decisions a teen makes with more experienced eyes and pass judgement. She was chaste and inexperienced. So she thought it was a much bigger deal than it was. Then she picked the ass hole. But she married for life. She left because he was cheating more so than his behavior.

At 50 something with only two partners? Pretty and attractive? Many a man would welcome an opportunity with her.

But you find fault with everyone.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Really dude? One of my friends who married her college sweetheart finally got away from the ass hole 30 years later, after dealing with his cheating and caustic personality until the kids were grown. Most of my friends are happily married, this gal was not & she probably should have never married her husband....

She is still very petite and pretty in her early 50s. I wondered how she would do in dating since she had very little experience in her youth, just a high school sweetheart she wished in time she hadn't broken up with, and her ex husband, her college sweetheart.

Well her neighbors in her social circle set her up with a man who is equivalently attractive, and he's a successful single father. They are getting along beautifully, and the thing my friend has most appreciated about him is his kind nature. She finds him "lovely" and there is a brightness in her voice I have not heard for decades.

So don't underestimate the power of kindness. Real kindness always comes from strength of character.

Hmm..."lovely" sounds like something you'd say about a nice guy you are not sexually attracted to...

I hope no woman ever tells me I'm 'lovely"

 

[BeExcellent]

Y

Hmm..."lovely" sounds like something you'd say about a nice guy you are not sexually attracted to...

I hope no woman ever tells me I'm 'lovely"

Lol. I feel you. I'd never call my husband "lovely", but this gal is still rather inexperienced when it comes to men (and he seems to be a pretty "blue pill" guy too) so maybe they are well matched after all. She still has a certain idealism and wants to be treated well, which he is doing according to her. We shall see.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Y


Lol. I feel you. I'd never call my husband "lovely", but this gal is still rather inexperienced when it comes to men (and he seems to be a pretty "blue pill" guy too) so maybe they are well matched after all. She still has a certain idealism and wants to be treated well, which he is doing according to her. We shall see.

I mean that sounds like something you'd call a nice crocheted blanket you received from Aunt Esther for Christmas

 

[pipeman84]

I agree with you. She should never have married the ex husband. She broke things off with the high school sweetheart because he lied to her. At 18 she didn't have the life experience to forgive him (he had lied about being a virgin and later it came out that he wasn't although she had been. He didn't cheat or anything, but she found that lie very hurtful so she dropped him.)

You cannot always look at decisions a teen makes with more experienced eyes and pass judgement. She was chaste and inexperienced. So she thought it was a much bigger deal than it was. Then she picked the ass hole. But she married for life. She left because he was cheating more so than his behavior.

At 50 something with only two partners? Pretty and attractive? Many a man would welcome an opportunity with her.

But you find fault with everyone.

It just doesn't compute for me when a woman marries a guy, has kids (plural) with him and then divorces him because he supposedly is an ass hole who cheats. Hello! If she was too different from him, she wouldn't even have entered in a relationship, let alone marriage and kids. You keep saying that like attracts like ... well, if he's indeed an ass hole then she's a bytch. There's no two ways about it.

 

[SW15]

my friend has most appreciated about him is his kind nature. She finds him "lovely" and there is a brightness in her voice I have not heard for decades.

So don't underestimate the power of kindness. Real kindness always comes from strength of character.

He sounds like a typical Beta Bob getting a woman far past her prime.

Highly doubt she would have appreciated him being a beta nice guy in her best looking years.

Dating a woman with adult children isn't a walk in the park for men either. Adult children are often not very pleasant about their parents having new romantic partners. Being an older adult and merging two families with adult children is a very forced and unpleasant interaction from the perspective of the adult children and also the perspective of the elder adults in the later life romantic relationship.

At 50 something with only two partners? Pretty and attractive? Many a man would welcome an opportunity with her.

Comparatively speaking, what you say is likely true. She's likely attractive for her age. There are also plenty of 50s-60s aged beta simp guys who would be interested.

2 partners is a low notch count for a woman her age. She's going to have some baggage from that lousy marriage but she'd likely have baggage from almost any other way she existed from ages 18-early 50s.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It just doesn't compute for me when a woman marries a guy, has kids (plural) with him and then divorces him because he supposedly is an ass hole who cheats. Hello! If she was too different from him, she wouldn't even have entered in a relationship, let alone marriage and kids. You keep saying that like attracts like ... well, if he's indeed an ass hole then she's a bytch. There's no two ways about it.

That's because you have no concept of how people change over the course of long relationships because you've never been in one.

 

[pipeman84]

That's because you have no concept of how people change over the course of long relationships because you've never been in one.

Once you're past 20yrs old, the personality is pretty much formed. I think it's very very rare that an upstanding guy with a nice personality turns into a cheating ass hole with caustic personality 10 or 20yrs later.

Also, why is there the saying ''once a hoe, always a hoe''? Because fundamentally people don't change that much.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Once you're past 20yrs old, the personality is pretty much formed. I think it's very very rare that an upstanding guy with a nice personality turns into a cheating ass hole with caustic personality 10 or 20yrs later.

Also, why is there the saying ''once a hoe, always a hoe''? Because fundamentally people don't change that much.

Again
You have no experience in this so your theories don't mean anything. They do all the time, especially around age 30 and mid 40s.